I officially throw our name into the ring for a visit from Barney.  Our Tripawd Max met him briefly one day last December in Santa Barbara, but Max never had the chance to really sink his teeth into him.  I've always regretted that, but now I have the means at my disposal to finish what we started.  I challenge Barney to man up and face his ultimate opponent:

 BERNIE BIN LADEN – PUPPY TERRORIST AND SCOURGE OF ALL MANKIND

       No one is more qualified to give Barney the gnawing he so richly deserves.  Bernie is singlehandedly responsible for more destruction and misery than two world wars, the bubonic plague, and the music of Lady Gaga combined.  In his brief ten months of life, our little serial killer has racked up a death list worthy of Dexter himself.  No object is too small to escape his homicidal attentions.  Nothing is too well hidden.  Bernie's victims include several books, our bedspread, multiple "indestructible" dog toys, various yard plants, the seat belt of my new truck, and my favorite diving camera. 

     All of them thought they were tougher than Bernie.  All of them were wrong.

     I can assure you that when Barney meets Bernie, a battle of truly apocalyptic proportions will ensue, and that fat, purple, overstuffed newt will NOT be the victor.

     And if nothing else, our other dog Linda would be eternally grateful for a visit from Barney.  The time Bernie spends chewing on him will be a welcome vacation for Linda's neck.

I Love Barney!  So much so that the little one I got for Christmas last year is still intact. 

cometdog said:

You realize you have to pay for Barney's cosmetic and/or repair surgery if he SURVIVES?

 
     If you're asking whether his physical body will remain intact, then the answer is yes.  I'll stop Mr. bin Laden before any actual dismemberment occurs.  But there is no chance Barney's morale or self-esteem will survive.  He will be utterly demoralized.  Shattered.  A pathetic shell of a dinosaur, appearing deceptively whole on the outside, but his insides stuffed only with sullen defeat.  He will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has been punked beyond all recovery by a savage puppy who knows neither conscience nor restraint.   He will never gaze insolently upon any dog again, but will instead approch them meekly with head bowed, hiding the surly look on his face. 

 
     But we'll let him keep his arms and legs…

Bernie you can be the Monkeydog's secret weapon!  Are you with us?  Once you kill Barney, we need you to terrorize the Tripawds!  It will put some serious fear into them!  YEEHAWW!

So far we have:

Monkeyface Mattie  (she was born a monkeyface, so she didn't need to be indoctrinated)

Monkeypoo Zuzu - (she grosses out Tripawds by eating their poo)

You can be Monkeymouth Bernie bin ladin (that says it all)! 

Monkeydogs will rule the world!  (at least the tripawd world)

Is Chuy a giant or did Barney shrink?

admin said:

It may not have been with the Tour Barney, but Chuy has already made an appearance in the KillBarney Blog …

Chuy Chews on Barney

June 11th, 2010

Chloe and I would be happy to drown him, I mean show him around the beaches up here…Yesterday we got 16 foot waves!!!!  

I might also do "open heart squeaker" surgery so that Chloe is more likely to play with him… yes, I am sure he would have quite the visit…

-Chloe's mom