We didn't have a good trip to the rehab vet. She immediately felt that the amount of pain he's in is disproportionate to that of a soft tissue injury (or arthritis). She looked at the x-rays that the ER vet did and told me she saw a suspicious spot and asked if she could do more x-rays. I said of course, and he was gone for a pretty long time, which for the first time made me a little anxious. I know she was being thorough and taking lots of angles. When she came back, she said that she suspected an osteosarcoma lesion in his scapula - it appears very moth eaten. She said there's a chance she's wrong, and is sending it to her radiologist, but she is fairly confident due to the pain and the appearance of the scapula on the x-ray. She also looked at his lungs, and there is a nodule in his lungs that was not in his prior x-rays.

She is waiting for the report back from her radiologist, and then will catch up with our oncologist. And then they will call me. If this is in fact the diagnosis, then we will be given a pain management plan going forward. I will remain hopeful until we hear confirmation. Of course, mets in lungs can sometimes be managed well for a while, so I'm less concerned there, but we are all too familiar with the pain that our dogs are in when they have a bone tumor, so that would clearly be our primary concern and primary cause for any decision we make. I am hoping that if the preliminary diagnosis is confirmed, we can get a pain management plan that will make him feel better and more comfortable for a little while longer, but Mosby's happiness and well-being will ALWAYS be the number one concern.

I'm working from home and made Mosby a nest in my office. It's the comforter that served as his first bed when I got him 9.5 years ago. He is snuggled up in it like a bug in a rug and it makes me feel so good to see him relax. I think it's in part the extra gabapentin the vet let us put him on after seeing him. That and the comforter. Sweet boy.

Thank you all for your kind and supportive responses. The last 24 hours have been crazy and emotionally exhausting, to say the least. I (ok, my husband, because I couldn't do it) talked to our oncologist yesterday evening to hear our "options," and to be honest, they are all options we rejected the first time around as not truly ridding him of the pain, and leaving him at risk for fracture and, of course, further metastasis. He is clearly in awful pain, and now that I know what is causing the pain, as truly sad as it is, my path forward is clear. I told him when this all started almost 7 months ago that I would never let him suffer for my sake. And I will keep my word. This is my duty, and the final gift I can give him. I feel a kind of reassurance knowing that I have it in my power to free him from this pain for good. He has had a hard go of it. He has struggled with medicine reactions, infections, and disk pain. And he never complained through all of it. About 3 weeks ago he started whistling. Not quite a whine, but a quiet whistle. No limp, no swelling, nothing to pin it to. Yet the only time he'd done that before was the original tumor. So I think I knew. And I am thankful for having the mental clarity to also know what to do now. After much discussion, and many, many tears (with many, many more to come), we have scheduled our appointment for tomorrow.

Today, we are giving him the perfect day. He had steak and eggs for breakfast. We went to the barn, his very favorite place, where we took lots of pictures with his brother Arlo and I hand fed him one of his favorite treats - a horse "muffin" - not sure whether this labels me more of a crazy dog person or crazy horse person, but there you have it. The weather was cool and nice, so we stayed there a while. Then we went to Starbucks where he got a bacon, egg and gouda sandwich with a puppaccino on the side. We came home and sat on our patio and talked about all of the good times we've had. He's taking a nice snooze now. Tonight, we'll grill burgers, and he'll get his own cheeseburger. And then we'll take him out for ice cream.

I feel a strange kind of peace, to be honest, in the middle of all the emotions. I think it's from knowing that I'm keeping my word to him. That I love him enough to relieve him of his suffering, especially before the tumor progresses and he declines even further. That's no to say that I don't feel ripped in half, or that tomorrow won't be the worst day of my life.

Here's a funny story to end with. Much to my husband's chagrin, Mosby has never been a "snuggler" - he hates being on the bed especially. If you could lure him onto the bed with you, he'd leap off the minute you stopped petting him. Well, last night I set up the air mattress downstairs so that Chris and I could stop alternating couch duty, and as soon as I got in bed, guess who walked right on up? Mosby. I looked at Chris and told him it looked like he got couch duty again.

Again, thank you to everyone for the support over the last almost 7 months. It is an awful thing to find yourself searching the web for answers when your dog is diagnosed with osteosarcoma, and a blessing to stumble upon this site. I pray that one day researchers find a way to stop this thing in its tracks, and that one day no one is googling "osteosarcoma amputation" in tears in the middle of the night.

Mosby is snoring now - his two o'clock dose of meds hit - and has a pleasant evening in store. Oh, Mosby. So stoic and brave. I will keep my promise.

- Kerry