Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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it sounds like there is some improvement and it’s only been 9 days. Hopefully you will see a big leap forward on improvement at around the 2 week mark. 🤞
i know that everyone here is pulling for him to be out by that lake soon.
Your comment about wanting to freeze time when you’re laying down with Honor is something that i completely relate to. I’ve had that thought almost daily for four months now. I guess that all we can do is do everything we can to document those moments in our minds so that they do exist forever in some sense. It’s somewhat helpful to me to take lots of photos of Ophelia. I always have, but that has increased tenfold since her diagnosis.
sending positive thoughts …
It’s been a very rough couple days. Honor had been doing better in terms of getting up and moving around more and I had been looking forward to getting his sutures out on Thurs. and him not having to wear a cone. Well, the day before yesterday, I noticed one of his two incisions looked very odd and had all this solid stuff stuck over/in it. I sent the surgeon at UF a photo and she told me it was cement that had leaked out! She said she didn’t know it could happen…at least not without a dog chewing out the sutures which, of course, he hadn’t. I asked her how we could address it and the only way was to sedate him and remove the cement which was expected to leave an open wound which would then have to be managed by open wound bandage care and changes for the rest of his life because it probably wouldn’t heal (also meaning cone). I asked what would happen if we just left it as is and was told very high risk bone infection/sepsis. As you can imagine I was in complete panic and I don’t think I have ever felt so close to having a nervous breakdown. So yesterday, we got him back over to UF. The plan was we would have them do a chest xray first and, if the lung mets situation had advanced a lot in 2 weeks then we decided we would leave his leg alone, not put him through digging around in there and open wound care and would just try to enjoy some last days before making the dreaded appt. to say goodbye.
Well, I finally caught a small break. Before they did the chest xrays, they tried to move some of the cement and discovered that, despite appearing otherwise, it was very surface level and the skin was intact under it! There was just a tiny corner that didn’t close up so they took sutures out, cleaned everything and he just has a gauze pad with light wrap over it that needs to be changed in a couple days. His Dr. thinks the skin will heal so, once it’s dry and closed, we are done with the bandage. They asked if we still wanted to do the chest xrays and I said no since it wouldn’t change anything.
So, that’s the good news. The bad news is he has been very lethargic and tires easily and I feel like it’s even worse after he was sedated yesterday. His nose has clear watery discharge and I’m seeing some breathing issues. There are really no treatments I can pursue. His gastrointestinal issues have been a problem again (likely due to all the antibiotics he has been on). His oncologist did not think palladia/losartan would be good for him in his present state due to the side effects. I also feel like this is probably too advanced for it to have any success. I like Michael’s idea of starting it before lung nodules are even found but I had never been presented with that as an option….and, even if I had been, he was having such a hard time with the chemo that I can’t imagine I would have been able to add additional medications like that at the time and, of course, we never even made it halfway through chemo. I have a holistic vet appt set up but am changing it to a phone consult so I don’t make him sit through an appt. for no reason. If they are going to suggest supplements/Chinese medicine, I haven’t even been able to give him the supplements I have due to him being very picky about what he eats lately and not eating enough. If they recommend ozone therapy, acupuncture or Vitamin C infusion, I have a pretty good idea he would not tolerate any of that at this point. And, would any of it actually accomplish anything other than waste more time at a vet’s office?
We were able to sit out in the yard today for a couple hours and he went for a tiny walk out in front of our house. It doesn’t sound like much but it’s more than he was able to do last week. Mostly, I’m just trying to spend as much time with him as I can and make his days as good as I can as I try to somehow figure out how I’m going to handle what is coming. It seems inconceivable that I’ll be able to.
I’m so sorry Eustacia. I wish that there were words that could make it better, but there aren’t. The best that i can say is that you have people here who understand the stress, grief, panic, and anger that you’re experiencing.
I am glad that you were able to sit outside with him for a while. You’re doing the best that you can. Honor is loved and not alone on this journey. That is so important. You’re his everything.
The only advice that i have is something that someone somewhere else said to me very early on with this. She told me that she learned to go through her grief, cry, be angry, whatever, in her bathroom and not in front of her dog. She learned to be cheerful when she was around him. I’ve kept that in mind this entire time.
Jerry posted a link somewhere earlier about Zeus. One part really hit home with me. So much so that i posted it on FB. Here is that excerpt:
“… there is something different about the relationship once you know your time is limited. You spend more moments just being still and watching them. You enjoy every bark, every smile, every belly rub just a bit more. You sniff them and memorize their smell. You talk to them more. You spend more time just sitting quietly with them. Once again, when Zeus was diagnosed we didn’t think we were going to get a real goodbye…
If you are walking this path with your dog, take time to enjoy every step. Make sure nothing is left unsaid and you have no regrets. Love them with your entire heart….”
my thoughts are with you.
You have so many responsibilities and worries pressing on you right now, I'm so glad for you and Honor that you were able to sit out in the yard for a couple of hours and enjoy each other's company.. It doesn't really have to be the lake, just that precious time together. Honor seems to have weathered all this with such dignity. A question which you don't have to answer, but how did you know when he was just a little puppy that Honor was the right name for him?
Eustacia, I know that if Sally could be online right now she would say something so eloquent and beautiful. She wants you to know she is thinking of you and Honor. To that, I'll add, that being able to just sit together and enjoy each other's company is good medicine. It may not cure the cancer or give him all of his mobility back, but it's medicine for the heart, both his and yours. Cherish those moments and try to enjoy them without stress or fear in your heart.
I'm glad the trip to the vet didn't end badly. That must have been terrifying.
At some point there is real freedom in giving up any additional treatments. You feel that barrier drop, and now it's just you and your dog facing whatever is next together as a team. As long as he is comfortable, and not in pain, that's all any dog with cancer can ask for. You are now living on the borrowed time, the icing on the cake, that all the treatments you have pursued so far have delivered. If you don't want to pursue more vet visits and pills and such, then don't. It's OK.
Soak up these moments like the gift that they are, live them with Honor free from tears or anguish as best you can. There will be plenty of time for that later. For now, your dog is here and ready to live every day with his favorite person to the best of his ability, and yours. You can do this.
@Michael thanks for sharing that beautiful quote from Zeus' mom. I know she would love that if she saw it.
Our Dear Eustacia
As Jerry mentioned earlier I have been " off site" for several long weeks while my tavlet was being worked on by "Techie Doctors" trying to get it fu ctiining again. . No, I wasn't in the "hooman" hospital, but my tavlet was in "tavlet" hospital.
Anyway, catching up with everything going on with sweet Honor and all our Tripawd family. Clearly you've been through some hia4d times but have been beautifully supported by everyone here.
For now, I'll ask where things stand currently with Honor (and you). Is Honor . Have you been avle to stay away from Vet visits, poking, prodding, etc and able to settle into just "being" with Honor as stress free as possible?? Even if you accomplish that for kist a few hours everyday, that's a huge victory for you both.
Sending love and the peace of embracing the now with Honor💖
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Sally, relieved to hear it was only your tablet in the hospital!
Michael, I appreciated your message so much.
Jerry and Suzanne, thank you both.
Unfortunately, the day after we got back from UF to address the complication, Honor was still lethargic and I thought recovering from sedation. The following day, I noticed the paw on his affected leg seemed swollen. I sent UF a photo and suggested the bandage they put on might be too tight. They didn’t think that was it but said to go ahead and remove and replace it. I did that but by that Sat morning his paw was very swollen. He was also very reluctant to walk again and we were back to how things were right after the procedure where he was only getting up about every 20 hours to relieve himself. Consulted with UF and their top suspicion was infection so we started him on one antibiotic I was able to pick up that evening at a human pharmacy then another was added Monday. Keep in mind he had also been on a different antibiotic the 2 weeks following the procedure. It’s been 2 days since we added the 2nd antibiotic and I feel like the swelling may be down a bit, but he still is not doing well at all. He will eat food I hand feed him and drink some water if I put it in front of him. He likes me petting him and laying with him. He made it outside a couple steps to his bed on the patio yesterday but has a clouded look in his eyes (which have been also having a lot of eye discharge) and doesn’t have his spark or enjoyment of life. The problem is I don’t know if this is related to the presumed infection and things could still get better for a time, if he feels extra sick due to 2 strong antibiotics or if what I am seeing is from progression of the lung mets…or undetected progression in another part of his body. If I knew for sure that this is how he is right now and each day will get worse for him and that we were running risk of a crisis, I would have to make the dreaded call. I just feel like, if I did it now, I would torment myself thinking he might have recovered from the infection and we could have gone to the lake or done some things he enjoys. I hate that he had one good day from the procedure where he was walking well and seemed to have some spark back in his eyes and it was the day we had to spend going to UF and having him sedated to have the cement removed. He hasn’t returned to himself since. 🙁
I am also greatly struggling with how extremely close the day is that I will have to say goodbye to him. I honestly don’t know how my heart will be able to handle this. I’m already grieving the loss of many things that we’ve already gradually lost since his diagnosis…our long walks, then short walks, his ability to enjoy being off leash in the yard, his being able to run and interact with the other dogs, his being able to play with stuffed toys, our outings to the lake, him being able to follow me around the house and greet me at the door, his bark….I haven’t heard him bark for so long and don’t think I ever will again. The only thing we still have right now is our bond, him placing his paw on me or rubbing his nose against my face…as if trying to comfort me. I am hanging onto that one last thing like a lifeline. I feel like he is too, but I can’t do anything to make him better. I feel like I’m in this position where I feel like I will be betraying him by having Lap of Love come. I keep trying to tell myself over and over that if I don’t make that decision then this cancer will make it and, most likely, not in as peaceful a way. My emotions are overriding any logic at this point.
Just heartbreaking, Eustacia. I'm so glad for you both that you can comfort Honor and that he likes you lying with him and petting him. We're all thinking about you two...
Second hand information and I have no medical qualifications, but, my rehab doctor, a vet, said that if lung mets were severe there is absolutely no way I could miss it, even with a giant stoic dog like Nicky. deep heavy cough, heavy breathing and panting, etc. (I'm concerned about that because I must have missed the primary cancer for weeks) So you are so close to Honor, you'd probably be able to observe lung symptoms too. Maybe you could confirm this with your doctor. I do hope it's an infection and will clear up. Please keep us posted.
Eustacia
I saw your post and wanted to add a few thoughts, I know what you are going through, I went through it 4 weeks ago when we had to make the decision to say goodbye to our Rottie, Kaya. It is extremely difficult to understand the direction this disease goes and it moves very quickly, we did not really see signs of severe lung mets, we had not had a scan so were not sure if she had them but she went downhill very quickly, she also had issues with severe eye discharge and in her case lost the strength of her hind legs and over a few days she seemed to retreat into herself, it is difficult to explain but there was less alertness, less interest in her surroundings and at the end no real interaction with us, that was the point we knew the time had come, we were also very hopeful she would recover from infections ( she was on antibiotics for her eyes and her slight cough)but sadly it was not to be, I think the cancer had spread elsewhere.
I do not have any medical advice, all I can write is from the perspective of someone like you who loves her dog so much it hurts and it is so terribly painful to think of losing them and who has very recently gone through saying goodbye. The decision was awful and I do not know how we managed to function over those last few days, we were not sleeping and crying every day, but we knew that the point had come and now a month later we are heartbroken and still crying daily but we take strength and comfort from the fact that the end was very peaceful, she did not suffer and as often quoted on this site, we did not leave it a day too long. A dignified and peaceful end is all we can hope for, Honor will not feel that you have betrayed him, you have and are still spending special time with him and doing everything in your power for him.
My thoughts are with you, there is nothing more wonderful than the love a dog brings into our lives but with it comes the responsibility of having to say goodbye and I wish you every strength with whatever decision you make.
I have chronic infections. If the skin near the infection is intact (ie: not cuts/incisions), cool compresses will help to reduce the swelling if Honor will tolerate them. Reducing the swelling will also considerably reduce the pain. You can use a clean wash cloth or even a folded paper towel. Soak in a bowl of water with ice cubes, apply to the swelling until the cloth gets warm. Return to the cold water, repeat.
Louise,
Thanks for your message and I’m so sorry for you loss of Kaya. Honor has still not moved from the same spot since 7 pm last night. I am starting to worry he actually can’t get up because I know he must have to go to the bathroom by now. He also has had the red eyes and thick discharge for a week now. I wipe it off multiple times a day. Unless something changes for the better quickly, I have a Lap of Love hospice appt set for tomorrow that was supposed to be to tweak medications but I will have to change it to an appt to say goodbye. At moment, due to the fact that I don’t understand what is going on, I am nervous about a crisis though
I'm so sorry Eustacia. My heart hurts for you and Honor. I hope that things get better for you both. This is such a tough ordeal. See what Lap of Love says, and hopefully they will be able to do something to help him feel better. We are keeping you in our thoughts.
P.S. If he has not moved you can help him urinate and feel better by manually expressing his bladder.
What you do have right now is knowing he enjoys laying with you, having you pet him and whisper how much you love him. I'm sure he is telling you by "petting" you with his paw how much he loves you too. Talk to him about all the fun things uou jave done. Let him sense your energy of joy when telling him these great adventures. Let him feel you chuckle when he would take off after critters, even though you didn't want him to. Honor does Honor!😉
For Honor this is just as good as going to the Lake.....being by you and mutually sharing love. It is an effortless connection between two beautiful Souls who share one heart.💖
I understand wanting "one more of": the lake, or the bark or the whatever. That's the way we hoomans think. It's not the way ou pups think. Being in the mome t with uou by his side celebrating all those Happy memories with him is all je wants. He doesn't need anything else. He has had more joy with you than most dogs evvvver get to have. The scales are tipping out of his favor now and he doesn't need to hang around IF things are only gping to get worse. Regardless of infection, etc, the mets are there now and, regrettably, ever so regretably, waiting another week for a ,maybe "good day" is not a thing Honor cares about. He does care if he cant be Honor anymore if he continues to have to give up more and more of who he is. Right now he does enjoy having uou by his side, but he may be paying too big a price for that as time goes by.
((((((((((Hugs)))))))))
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
PS. Of course, still see what the Hospice people say and they can help with their evaluation. Always hoping for the best for Honor♥️
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thanks for all of the support. I need it. A repairman showed up at our door and when I went to talk with him, Honor suddenly popped up. But, he went over and started growling. He has never done this to anyone I have let in the house (with the exception of the mobile vet but only after she reached for his leg). He has met this guy before and usually loves him and greets with tail wagging. I was able to get him outside and he went to the bathroom. He ate a couple hamburgers my son made for him. Then he growled and snapped at my husband when he came over to pet him later this evening. All of this behavior is out of character. Now he is laying here breathing very rapidly and seeming highly uncomfortable. Sally, it is what you said. He is struggling to be himself, but feels so terrible that he can’t. I don’t think I can stretch this out much further. It isn’t even like I can make his last days really good. It’s past the point where he has mobility to go anywhere or enjoyment in much except my attention and some foods. It seems like it would be too sad to wait until those 2 sources of comfort don’t help him either. I have a very uneasy feeling…like today was a warning that there could be a crisis and I won’t be able to get help when needed if I don’t act fairly soon.
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