It has taken a long time for me to post, I have been using this site as a very helpful resource since we suspected we would need it a little over a month ago. Haven is our 10 year old Australian Shepherd. She has been my guardian since I got her as a puppy-to train as my service dog. I have been in chronic pain since I was 14, and living with chronic illness seemed possible with her by my side. She amazed me with her drive and her devotion, I've had no other relationship with a dog like her, she's my soul dog. She retired a couple of years ago but has continued to be amazingly healthy, that is until a little bit ago. We have another dog, a Catahoula named Hawkeye. She runs circles around him and would play rough with him despite him being three times her weight. 

We noticed about 6 weeks ago a limp, like many here. I am big on research living with a rare disease myself, and am always looking at natural remedies if possible. The limp began to worry me, and we made an appointment at our vet. I had been doing so much research I knew what the potentials were-at best, a torn muscle or Ligament, at worst-bone cancer.

Physical exam alarmed our vet who thought it was going to be a torn muscle as well. She was sedated for x-rays...and a tumor on her right scapula was found. He gave us the weekend to decide about amputation. Being in pain myself I didn't need convincing, if this was the way to alleviate her pain, I knew she would adapt and overcome.

The x rays showed a good portion of her lungs, and there were no Mets. Blood work was clean, she acted one hundred percent herself besides the limp. The amputation went well, but he said the tumor had grown since the vist a week prior, and during extubation there was a bit of blood on the tube, which concerned us all.

Recovery was going great. She had an appetite right away, took her meds no problem, I gave her probiotics two hours after antibiotics so she never had an issue with bowel movements. I carried her up and down our 15 stairs every time she needed to go out. She gave me a kiss after each outing. I was finally paying her back for all the help she'd given me. She was adapting and smiling, so we were happy. We were praying the biopsy would come back clean despite the odds.

One week in, the biopsy came back. Osteosarcoma. I listened, and I knew what that meant. I hung up the phone and couldn't hold it together anymore, I shook and sobbed. But then her training kicked in and she was all over me trying to get me to stop, and I knew I could not allow myself to show my worry for her, I had to be strong. 

I had already been thinking about all possible outcomes and what I would want to do. My husband and I talked, he listened as I told him everything I knew. Our nearest oncologist is two hours away. Haven is most stressed being apart from me since she was trained to never leave me. She doesn't know she has cancer. If we did chemo she would just know her whole world was being turned upside down, being taken from me, long drives, and then no guarantee of it working. And one thing we know about cancer, no matter how chemo goes, cancer almost always comes back, and more aggressively. I understand why people opt for chemo, but I knew in my heart it would be wrong for her. We wanted to keep her routine as normal as possible, and act like nothing had changed for her sake. So we decided to go holistic, something I have studied for years. I knew that her happiness is most important, and no matter what, every day forward is a God given gift, and whether we got a month or years, I would cherish each and every day.

We had already been feeding the dogs Dr. Harvey's food for about six months, which is a recommended food for dogs fighting cancer. We give our dogs wild blueberries, dried sweet potatoes, and other veggies as treats, along with occasional organ treats. We also added their Solaris supplement, it is a Mushroom blend, two types for day and night. I also added Lung Gold and Life Gold, as well as Dr. Mercola curcumin. We also got a CBD that Dr. Loops recommended, a holistic vet who has great lists for cancer supplements for dogs.

Haven is one month post amputation today. I have kept a log since the day we first brought her to the vet, I have measured her Respiratory rate and listened to her lungs often. She mostly lives as she did before her surgery. She runs and chases the backyard rabbits, plays with all her favorite toys, and goes for walks again with her brother. She gets TTouch massages and lots of love. We do strengthening exercises for her core, and she is just a happy dog as she always has been.

Last night we got our first physical sign of the cancer since amputation. She woke us up hacking now and then, and finally this morning after I massaged her neck she hacked up a clam sized chunk of something-lung met? And a small amount of bright red blood. Then she went back to being herself and wanted to play and she ate and acts like nothing happened. That for me is the hardest part. How can she have something so evil manifesting inside her body yet have no chronic symptoms? Of course I'm happy she is happy, but it is hard to know whether I'm doing the right thing. She is a tough dog and tries to hide any weakness. So far I try to live each day with her like tomorrow is not guaranteed, since this is true for all of us, but I also just keep praying that by some miracle we will be given more time.

I know we are all here for the same reason, because we adore our dogs and hope we can help others going through the same crazy roller coaster that this is. I appreciate everyone who has posted on here, so many of your posts have helped me already, and I hope ours can help someone out there as well.