Lili came into our lives in August of 2004, almost 9 years ago.  At the time, we had been married for less than a year and had adopted our first dog, Peter, about 8 months before.  Our little family didn't feel quite complete, and we wanted to add a buddy for Peter.  We found Lili on the local animal control website (a not-so-nice kill shelter).  Her "mugshot" was adorable as you could see a little blur of a tail in the background.  Any dog who could wag so vigorously under those circumstances was a dog we wanted to meet.

She and Peter hit it off.  He was nearly full grown at that point, and she was just a wee thing, less than 10 lbs, rolling around under his paws and trying to play.  We brought her home that week.

Since day 1, she was a terrific dog.  A mellow girl in the house, she was a maniac in the backyard and kept Peter on his toes.  Would run and run and run, running circles around Peter.  We eventually started calling him "Grandpa" because he got "old" so much faster than she did.  

It started with a slight limp last fall, controlled by Rimadyl.  We thought she overdid it, running around like she loved to do.  Rest (as much as we could make her rest) didn't help.  We had an x-ray taken last November, and it showed a "shadow."  They mentioned amputation as a possibility.  We were stunned - our healthy girl??  How was this possible?  We opted for a bone biopsy, instead, which was inconclusive.  That happened in February.  The limp continued.  Follow up x-rays in March showed significant deterioration, so we decided to amputate.  The biopsy of the amputated rear limb showed OSA.  We were devastated.

The amputation on March 12 was tough on Lili.  Not as much physically as mentally.  She wasn't "herself" for at least a month.  We didn't make any decisions about chemo because it didn't seem like she had much joy in her life.  Eventually, the tide turned, and the day she trotted to the toy box to pick up a toy and squeak it with vigor was the day we decided we owed it to her to give chemo a shot.  After that tough patch, she amazed us a 3 legged dog - faster through the yard than Peter once again, tearing up and down the stairs without a care in the world.  She was digging holes and sneaking out under the fence to come meet us at the front door.  She felt great.

We were nervous that the 6 week delay between the amp and starting chemo would be an issue.  So we were beyond thrilled when all x-rays and ultrasounds were clean.  She was ready to fight this.  We started chemo that same day, in late April.  

The chemo was no walk in the park, but wasn't terrible.  She sailed through the first treatment with no side effects.  She still tore around the yard and even escaped her yard like a little imp just three weeks ago.  By the third treatment, though, she was feeling a bit of nausea.  She was slowing down.  We attributed that to her low WBC and low platelets.  We thought it was just a hiccup.

This week, something wasn't right.  It wasn't just a bit of weakness that required a boost up stairs she had been running up and down by herself the week before.  We brought her in for the second time in a week (low platelets and nausea the week before), hoping for a strained or tweaked muscle, something "fixable."  For about the 4th time on this journey, we were devastated by the news this Tuesday - mets in the spine and pelvis.  It just wasn't fair.

Still, we thought we would have more time.  A week at least.  The cancer had other plans.  What started as some weakness early in the week turned to complete paralysis of her back end by yesterday.  Our girl dog, who had never had an accident since being potty trained, had lost control of her bodily function.  Even though it was the hardest decision to make, I knew we would regret waiting even one more day.

So yesterday, we arranged for the vet to come to the house.  Lili was in a good mood, though subdued, all morning.  We held her and talked to her.  Fed her breakfast like usual.  Cleaned up her bed (from which she was unable to move) after two accidents.  Gave her a million belly rubs and ear scritches and told her she was the best dog ever.  An hour before it was time, we gave her a Frosty Paws with a dollop of peanut butter - which she inhaled, looking for more.  We tried not to let her see us cry.

When it was time, we moved her bed to a sunny spot where she loved to lay.  Mentally, she wasn't ready to go.  She wasn't thrilled to have the vet there and didn't understand what was going on.  Seeing her trying to scramble off that bed with her back end not cooperating is not an image I will soon forget.  Eventually, though, she settled down.  I think she was tired, tired of fighting this and tired of putting on a brave face.  After a few failed starts (veins shot in both front legs, due to chemo and sedation this week from the x-rays), which was stressful, the vet found a vein.  Once it started, it was quick and peaceful.  And I immediately felt a sense of relief for our girl.  She is in no more pain.  She was "with" us, with a cheery wag and smile, until the end.  She passed in a spot she loved, surrounded by her family with her brother Peter nearby.  The cancer could take her body, but we wouldn't let it control her ending.

I really hoped we'd beat the odds.  Last week, I would have said that she'd for sure make her 4 month ampuversary.  She was doing so well.  And then she wasn't.  We are devastated.

We will miss her so much, but we will never forget the bravery she showed in the face of this terrible disease.  She was our little fighter and there will never be another one like her.  RIP Lili - we miss you.