The day Rocky came home from his amputation (Feb. 15) I realized he was going to have some trouble navigating the single step out to the back patio. So my dad made him a little ramp. I put a towel over it for some traction . I guess the towel made it comfy, because Rocky liked to lie down on it on the patio. 

I only kept the ramp out there for a few weeks. Rocky got comfortable enough navigating the step that I took the ramp down and put it in my garage. I saw it last night and realized I had no use for it anymore, so I put it out on the side of the road for pick up. When I got home tonight, it was gone. Just another one of those little daggers to remind me that our fight really is over. 

This was Rocky just a few days after his amputation lying down on the ramp. 

A couple of small steps tonight, one month to the day that he went to the Bridge. 

I ate dinner at the house - without Rocky at my side - for the first time since, I'm pretty sure, September 2009 ... i.e. before I got Rocky. I had eaten out or at my parents every night since he went to the Bridge. 

There's a chicken place here called Tenders. I got food there a bunch the last six weeks or so of Rocky's life. Since he knew it was food for me, I could hide his chemo in a tender and get him to eat it. His last meal was three tenders from there. I hadn't gone back since. You know how if you eat somewhere and get sick, you don't want to eat there again? It felt like that, knowing that's where his last meal came from. But I went there tonight to get some tenders to bring home. 

He also left me another penny today. So far, that's been exactly one for each week he's been gone. 

Super Stu! said
Good for you David! You may think you’re taking baby steps, but actually you are moving forward in leaps and bounds! You even ‘sound’ a lot lighter!  It’s actually hard to believe that it’s already been a month! It must seem like an eternity to you! 

I don't know about leaps and bounds. I'm still really restless and full of anxiety. But I'm making progress. I think. And it's still weird. Each of the last 30 days have taken forever. But the month has flown by. 

benny55 said

So a question for you.   My Happy Hannah loved being by my side and loved it when I talked to her.  But she woukd leave my side in a split second if I so much as dropped a crumb on the floor!     Would Rocky chose veing by your side or go for the Tender crumb if you dropped it on the floor?  

Good question! I guess it depends on your definition. 

I usually eat upstairs with my food on a low coffee table or sitting on my bedroom floor (yeah, I'm weird). Point being, my food was always within easy range of Rocky. And yet, he was always a total gentleman. He'd never take my food unless it was clear I was giving it to him (which happened often). I could leave my food and walk out of the room and more often than not, he'd follow me. But even if he didn't follow, he wouldn't touch my food. 

That said, if I happened to drop something, he considered that me giving it to him and it was gone in a split second. 

Rocky would stare at my food and then look at me like "you gonna give me some or what?" But he'd never try to take any. He was so incredibly mild-mannered. 

He liked to roll in poop too. And sometimes eat it. I brought him in one time and he carried in a piece of dried-up poop with him. Yuck. 

Last night was pretty good, but just before I went to bed I went to look at his online patient portal his vet had for him. I hadn't looked at it in months. They updated it to where it's just his profile pic with "crossed the rainbow bridge." Yeah, seeing that was hard. I cried like a baby. 

More than a month later and I miss him so much.

This still really sucks.