Michelle said
Alison,

Cancer didn't win.  Shelby fought a good fight.  I do not believe that this nasty evil disease ever wins.  Our babies grow tired of fighting.  So I believe that Shelby won the battle no matter how hard she fought.  She gave it her all.  🙂   I like to think positive and know you do too. 

 

Hugs & love

Michelle & Angel Sassy

Thank you Michelle! you are right. I need to change my mindset and be the positive person that Shelby knew and loved and that you all came to know!! Hugs and love! 

Michelle, thank you for posting this.  It'd been a while since I was on the forums (consumed by school) and am just now catching up and am finding myself struck by the recent losses here.  Losses for people and their dogs who are "fixtures" here, who have supported me a lot over the last 5 months, seemingly out of the blue.  I had a sobering conversation with my vet today myself, and as Dieter and I were leaving the vet's office, a couple were coming in with a standard poodle for amputation surgery.  I knew exactly the look on the poor woman's face; it was heartbreaking to see.  But she saw how energetic Dieter was, and the ladies in the office were pointing him out.  Who knows if it will help her.  All of these things are swirling around in my mind, and I can see the whole process lay out, and it's so saddening.  Diagnosis, amputation, chemo, monitoring and trying our best to keep up the quality of life for our beloved companions.  It just seems to go on, and on, this cycle.  I'm sorry I can't be more positive right now; I wish I could, but I can express my love and gratitude toward this community.  

So, thank you all, and with love,

Jennifer

Sally.. that is a beautful picture....  They are ALL beautiful pictures... 

It's hard to be positive when your heart has been ripped out of your chest, twisted in a knot, torn in half and stomped on..   cause that it what it felt like...   when your nose is so full of snot because you have cried... and cried..  till you can't cry anymore.  It's a great weight loss program.. I will admit that.   But it was worth it.  It is worth the years of snuggles, ball throwing, belly rubbing, cheqing squeakies memories that are in my heart.  You never forget them..  And yes... the pain does lessen... I can say that..   but even though it has been almost a year.. the pain is still fresh when you read of another pawrent going through what you went through.

The worst for me after Franklin passed was coming here and seeing everyone celebrate their 6 month, 8 month, 1 year ampuversaries...   I felt cheated... sad... and pissed off.  I wanted to type those posts!  I wanted to have a 1 year ampuversary!!  But then I would read about pups who have not enjoyed the tripawd life very long after their operation, 2 weeks, 1 month, 2 months.. and my heart would break again.. and I would feel guilty for feeling those emotions of being cheated.  I can only imagine how those pawrents felt... because they dealt with the emotion of guilt.  

Guilt is not a nice emotion... it eats at our heart and it eats those great memories that are there and replaces them with.. well.... guilt.  Then after a while... all we feel is guilt.. and that does damage to our hearts.  It took me a little bit to kick guilt to the curb, but I did it.  If I had amputated sooner, would he have lived longer?  Why didn't I insist on xrays sooner?  why didn't I do chemo?  Yup.. and many more.. but I kicked them to the curb... I have no guilt now.. 

And I felt no guilt about getting a dog soon after Franklin left us either.  He was not replaced... never will be.  I am a dog person... I will always have dogs.. and I hope that I am trampled with lots of muddy paws, sloppy kisses and wiggle butts when my time comes to arrive at the Bridge!!  I can't wait till I retire.. because.. when that times comes.. I will have more more time at home which means.... more dogs!!  Crazy dog lady in training here!!  lol  You should never feel guilty about getting another dog or kitty, and never listen to others that say to you "oh it's too soon".  What do they know?  There are so many spots open in our hearts for more fur love... I know that mine will never be full!!  I have lots of space left for future furry love!!!

Well.. I should get back to work.. but wanted to share a picture as well... 

Christine... with Franklin in her heart♥

I agree, lean on us. We can help each other though this awful time. I am now in week 2 and also seem to have calmed down a bit. I kind of feel a sense of unreality.I went out and called the other dogs inside this morning and started with my usual order. TY Chan, realized what I had done before I got to Lucy. So then Chandler starts looking down the driveway. I also agree that it is not disloyal to get another dog. They can never be replaced, they each have their own personalities, temperaments, etc. I am with Christine in that I have always had a dog, with the exception of after 2 losses and a few months after I first got married. I also think that the timing to get another dog is varied by the person. Some are ready sooner than others. Sometimes it just takes you by surprise. Circumstances just work out. I was not actually looking for a dog when I got TY or Chandler. Sally the pictures are so priceless! Such love! Christine, you have hit on pretty much every emotion I have been feeling. Especially the one of feeling cheated. I really thought we could beat it. Really did. Just every step forward for us was accompanied by 2 steps backwards. That is why I am trying to keep up with the good memories, so they are not overshadowed by the last 3 months. Alison, Sally, know that my thoughts are never far from you right now. Lori and TY GUY 

This was the week last year that I found out my Jake had cancer. Its hard to believe that this Friday marks the 1 yr anniversary of his amp. He was my super dog, I never thought for a moment that he wouldn't be here today. Sally asked me last evening, and I haven't made him a memorial video yet. I'm having a really hard time doing it. I tried some of it last night and it just ruined me. Once the tears start they don't like to stop. Im hoping I can have one done by Friday in honor of his ampuversary.