Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I don't know what I was thinking this morning when I headed out for my run! I guess habit. I usually run by the beach on the weekends since it's lighter out than when I run at 5:00 a.m. (it's not safe down there that early). So laced up my shoes, ran down the hill (the long way) so I was about 2 miles into a short 6 mile run and I realized it the second I I turned the corner. I was back - for the first time - where I said my final goodbye to my soul mate. I thought I could do it; I thought I would find strength but at first, I did not. I lost it - big, gasping, crocodile tears, no breath into my lungs. I wanted to collapse. I wanted to turn around and walk the mile or so home. But I guess my desire to "burn more calories" and "not be a lazy ass wimp" won out... after about 5 minutes of solid sobbing and leaning against a building for support since I was sure my legs would collapse on me (thank GOD no one stopped), I begged Shelby to send me some strength and she did. And as I passed by the stretch of beach where we spent many a weekend, I was able to run - not as fast as I used to be but without falling, without tears. For those that don't run, it's extremely hard to run when you can see through the tears and when you can't catch your breath. I feel like I have zero cardio threshold right now - I feel like my lungs fail me all the time, like there is something sitting on my chest preventing it from getting air in.
It's just hard. Weekends flipping suck for me. My best weekends included snuggle time with Shelby, a bottle of wine, some-take out and my DVR. I no longer have an excuse to people who BEG me to come out with them. All I want to do is hibernate and sleep... I am just sad. I am not hysterical sad all the time but I am overall sad. I miss her. I just do. I try and take each day as they come and each hour but the beach was "our" place .. .and I am desperate to re-claim that stretch. I long to go down there and just be outside. I haven't taken a single photo with my phone in almost 2 weeks. I haven't posted anything on FB. I am incredibly aware of how much my social media life revolved around my best girl. Part of the process ... I know but I am lonely, I am sad and I am lost ... aimless.
Alison and her Shelby fur-ever in her heart ...
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Alison, I am sad for you. It is just so hard. I do not even have words right now. The breathing thing, I understand, was just thinking this morning that I don't feel like I have taken a deep breath since he left. I hope that with time, "your" spot will bring you some comfort instead of tears. Hugs from me to you! Lori and Angel-dog Ty.
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Me too, I'm so sad for you. I get it. I was on the treadmill the other day at the gym and I broke out in tears thinking about my Jake. I'm sure I looked ridiculous to those around me, but running sometimes just brings it out. All that time to think maybe? BUT, you looked to Shelby to give you strength and she did! I don't think you just ended up there. She led you right to you gals favorite spot, and you found here right there giving you the strength you needed.
{{HUGS}}
Mom to Tripawd Angels Jake (2001-2014) and Rosco (2012-2015) and Tripawd Tanner. “Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it”
Elizabeth, I love how you can always turn a negative into a positive and a vision .. yes, Shelby did push me forward. She guides me every step of every day ...
Today has been hard. A little spring cleaning. Big tears (lots of them). The ones that fall from your eyes and soak your pillows. I just threw out all her medications. It feels so final. But I know she is gone. Yet I still open my front door slowly each time, expecting to see her there. She definitely was/is my heart dog ... my heart has such a void. And everywhere I look in my tiny 600 sq apt, I see Shelby ...
Wine for sure tonight! Lots and lots of wine!!!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
OMG ...another epic breakdown. I want off this ride!!! Truly. As you all know, Shelby and I lived in Seattle before we moved to LA. My old neighbor from there, that loved Shelby and would walk her for me occasionally for fun, just sent me some emails with some photos she had of Shelby and some memories about their walks together. Either I didn't remember or she never told me. They used to go to our local video store where Shelby would get so excited because they gave her cookies, loves, snuggles... What a life my girl had. She was SOOOOO loved by everyone who met her. I fear I will never get so lucky again to find a dog that will be loved in such epic levels. Oh how I wish the rainbow bridge had visiting hours or a phone ... I just long for her so much. I hate this... I pray if shelby can see me right now she sends me some strength and more kleenix.
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Wow, Shelby had the life! Cookies from the local video store? Its so amazing to see the love that dogs bring out in people. Looks like Shelby really brought it out in everybody she met and even those she didn't (b/c we all just adore her here). The hurt I don't think ever goes away, but eventually you'll be able to look at those pictures and see more happiness in them then sad. Usually when I get upset, I start down the "its not fair", "cancer sucks", etc path. Then one day I thought OMG, cancer is still winning every time I think like this! So I try my best not to think about the cancer part of Jake's life. Yes it was part of it, but it was not at all everything. I threw away anything that reminded me of it in my house, his meds, his iv fluids, etc. I didn't want cancer to still be represented anywhere around me. Now, his beds, his toys etc I still have those b/c THOSE were his life. The meds were not Shelby's life so throw them away with abandonment. We can not let cancer continue to work its ugly magic. Cancer was just a speck on the masterpiece of Shelby's life.
{{HUGS}} If I'd have been up when you wrote this I would have definitely shared a glass of wine with you! I'm an early riser, so Im usually in bed by 9pm EST LOL
Mom to Tripawd Angels Jake (2001-2014) and Rosco (2012-2015) and Tripawd Tanner. “Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it”
I agree, Shelby had the life! She was so fortunate to have you as her Mom. I am also starting to throw away "sick" stuff. The blue shopping bag and his leash thing from the cancer vet went yesterday. Have not even looked at the meds yet. Threw them in a box the day we took him to vet. I did not bring his bed back into the house until 2 days ago. I figured that his scent would bring Chandler some comfort as he is kind of sad. I think that if you ever do open your heart to a fur baby in the future, he or she will be very special in a different way. They are all different. With you as a mom, That pup could not help but turn out special! Sendin love Lori and Angeldog TY
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
I'm sorry you are having such a hard weekend! But it shows so much strength that you were able to run (even if it was slower) past that stretch of beach. Your loss is still so fresh and you love Shelby so much that its going to take time to be able to do all those things alone that you used to do together. Just remember every step is a victory!
Hugs,
Cody and Family
Cody is our 7 year old Australian Heeler mix boy. Diagnosed on 2/20/14 and became a tripawd 2/21/14! We chose a homeopathic approach and he is being treated by Dr. Loops our of NC.
Oh Alison I'm so sorry...your post made me cry...I felt like I was running with you. I can't even imagine the grief, but just from your writing I feel your pain.
I wish so much we could help take the pain away, but we can't, so just know that we're all here for you and every step you take Shelby is there with you and helping you get through it.
Lots of love and hugs,
Erica
Jill is a 9-year-old tuxedo kitty. She was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma in June 2012 on her toe in her right hind leg. Her leg was amputated on 12/12/12 and she completed four rounds of chemo (2 of Carbo, 2 of Doxy) in April 2013. "Like" Jill's facebook page: https://www.fac.....tty?ref=hl Proud member of the WINTER WARRIORS!!!! Her blog can be read at http://jillsjou.....ipawds.com. xoxo
I'm sorry Alison. You may be sad for quite a while. Damn, I know. You fear the day you're not sad, though, because you're afraid you're forgetting! Then, you fear the days you are sad b/c you can't breathe, sleep, function, or eat. Hang in there, kiddo. Shelby sends her love and strength, too! I know she's happy and whole, but she also misses you too.
~ K&J
ACL tear in right hind leg 12/5/12 and scheduled ACL repair surgery 12/21/12. Pre-op xrays revealed osteosarcoma. Amputation 12/28/12. Chemo (carboplatin) started Jan 10, 2013 and ended on April 5, for a total of 5 doses. He handled carbo like a champ! No side effects. We started metronomic therapy at his third chemo and have been also doing some holistic treatments. He's a lively, playful 10 year old huskie-boarder collie and a very proud member of the Winter Warriors! Our love. Our funny little guy!
Hi Alison,
Sending lots of love and hugs your way! I can't take away your pain but I am here to support you through it.
I'm sure Shelby is with you wherever you go....because she is always in your heart.
Hugs
Linda and Tucker
I'm sorry it hurt. But how wonderful that your friend also had such great memories, wow. Shelby touched so many people. Let that bring you comfort as the tears flow, she would want you to rejoice in the love that she shared.
{{{hugs}}}
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Good for you!!!! You needed that!! And I know that it is hard... but... it's also a very special place... a very special place in your heart and Shelby's heart.. and think about it.. you may feel her very strongly there!!! She loved it there... why not run by and pay a visit... It's like going to the cemetary to visit your loved ones grave.. but. Shelby's "place" is a beautiful spot that you and her LOVED to spend time together!!
Yes.. the roller coaster ride is not a fun one.. but it is a memorable one.. I still ride the ride and it's been almost a year.... the waves of emotions are compared to the drops on the tracks.. some are pretty high and you come down really fast, throwing your hands up in the air and screaming.. and some are just small rolling hills... but it's a ride we can't get off yet... but the years and memories prior to this ride.. are well worth it.. aren't they?
And yes.. you may cry as you run by... and that is ok.. but don't forget to look at the beautiful spot and say "Hi there Baby Girl" to Shelby!! Eventually, you will run by with only a smile on your face... and your heart will be bursting with Shelby's love....
It will happen.. but until then.. enjoy the ride... I know it sounds harsh but.. if we didn't have that ride... then it would mean that we really didn't care... and our sweet pups and kitts were just a dog and cat.. know what I mean? I find myself many times just looking at certain spots around the house where Franklin used to lie and smile.. especially on the deck now that the weather is nice. And yes.. sometimes my cheeks are wet with memories.. but there is a smile there as well.
If love could have kept him here, he would have lived forever.
Christine... with Franklin in her heart♥
Franklin, he was the Happiest Dog on Three Legs! Diagnosed 09/26/2012 with Osteosarcoma, amputated 12/4/2012. Had a wonderful 5 1/2 months painfree until he ran for the Bridge on 5/15/2013. Always in my heart, and always a guardian angel of my pack... You can follow his Tripawd Adventures, before and after, in my blog, Frank'n'Farter!
Thank you everyone ... your support is felt in leaps and bounds all the way out here in Los Angeles! I fear that things are getting worse rather than better for me... is it that reality is kicking in? That I have woken up from this awful dream and she really IS not coming back? That I am forcing myself to 'feel better' and that while it's been three weeks, it feels like nothing and everything all at once?
I sleep through my weekends... I can't deal. If it wasn't for working out, I literally would not leave my house. Netflix binge TV that used to bring me joy and distractions don't work anymore. I can't read a book or magazine since I can't focus. I am still coming up on so many anniversaries (the one year of when she broke her leg and our life changed for forever and the guilt I have with that which I know ... must let it go but how?). I have this "time app" on my phone that shows photos and posts from years ago to the day and with summer ... all about Shelby .. at the beach, in the flowers, in my arms.
You are right - Christine - if I wasn't on this ride, I would feel this much pain and it would be that I didn't love as much as I thought I did. I actually had that concern in week two when I was feeling all bad ass and strong - that maybe I didn't love as much as I did. But I think I was still in shock and numb and that was my body's way of processing it.
But right now, as much as i know Shelby wants me to smile, unless I am actually forced to do so (as in at work or something) I can't and don't do it. Oh Shelby girl.... you are my one true love and I miss you so much.... I count the days till I can see you again...
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Online
Sweet Alison.....Thank you for sharing every aspect of this journey. Many of us are are the side lines saying ditto, ditto, ditto. And each response you bring forth from this loving community helps us all.
Thank you Alison...and thanks to each of our "911 Responders".
I feel sooooooo helpless in my ability to help others right now.....and that's yet another "loss"...another void....-all I can do is send love and "wishing" I could help.
So.....sending limitless love to you...
Sally and Happy Hannah
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
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