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MY BELOVED BROWNIE
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5 March 2021 - 4:50 am
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Today on March 5, 2021 is Brownie’s one  year Angelversary.  I never thought of life without Brownie.  It was not an option!  When Brownie was first diagnosed with Osteosarcoma I prayed every night for one more day.  Please, just one more day.  We were blessed with 373 more days.  I have read that many members ask “how do I know when it’s time”?  Well, I can’t answer for everyone but I can tell you how I knew Brownie was ready.  Brownie was tired.  When I looked in his eyes I no longer saw his sparkle.   I could no longer feel his soul.  It was like looking at a blank page. Brownie could have held on longer but he was no longer happy.  When we first began this journey I promised Brownie I would not be selfish.  I would not hold on to him for me.  So, I kept my promise and said goodbye even though it was one the hardest things I ever had to do, but I did it for Brownie.

I have found it’s the little things that I miss so much!  Brownie coming  up to me with a sparkle in his eye and love in his heart just to say “I love you mom”.  The deep Woof Woof when the garage door opens.  Greeting me at the door with a wagging tail and a stuffy in his mouth.  And the famous Woof Woof at 7:00 pm, cookie time.  I have realized that the little things are the most important things. The things I treasure the most!

For such a long time I felt like I fell in a black hole and could not find my way out.  On August 22, 2020 the sun began to shine.  A sick 12 week old puppy came into my life, who I named Kenzie.  Some people said I was trying to replace Brownie.  When I hear that all I can do is laugh! There will always only be one “Brownie Bubba Bell” and he is irreplaceable!  The way Kenzie’s story unfolded, some of you have said Kenzie was sent by Brownie.  When Kenzie began to heal, I 

noticed the white fur on her chest was in the shape of an Angel.  I would like to think Brownie put it there just to let me know that he is watching over us. Kenzie has definitely found a home in my heart.

When Brownie passed a lot of you told me “Brownie doesn’t want you to be sad”.  To tell you the truth I didn’t believe it.  I thought “they are just saying that to make me feel better”.  I started thinking back,  and I remember I  always worried if something happened to me, what would happen to Brownie?  Brownie would not go with another human, and the thought of him ending up in a shelter was devastating.  So, I thought that Grizzly and his dad would be the best option since Brownie loved Grizzly so much.  So I made arrangements with Grizzly’s dad and funds would be provided for Brownie’s care if something happened to me.  I just wanted Brownie to be happy!  Then it all clicked.  I wanted Brownie to be happy if something happened to me.  So, of course Brownie wants me to be happy!  Maybe he did send Kenzie to make me happy?  It finally all clicked in this thick stubbrand head of mine.  Brownie wants me to be happy!

This is my final tribute to Brownie. I never thought I would say this but It is time to say goodbye.  Not that I will ever stop missing Brownie.  Not that I will ever stop thinking about Brownie.  Not that I will ever stop loving Brownie. I will still have tears, but laughter as well as the memories come pouring in.  As long as I have the memories Brownie will never die.   It is time to set him free.  I do not want Brownie to feel strapped down because of my grief.  I don’t want Brownie to feel guilty because I am sad.  I have always been so proud of Brownie for so many reasons, and I know whatever journey he is on he is still making me proud.   This is not a sad time.  I finally got it!  I know that Brownie is fine and happy again! The only thing that matters is Brownie is happy!  He is in a beautiful place, pain free and whole again, and at the same time I know he is still with me.  He is feeling a love that the rest of us can only imagine. Now it is time for Brownie to be proud of me! I truly believe the way I can make Brownie proud of me is to move forward with life and to be happy!

When the day comes my ashes will be spread with Brownie’s ashes. But until that day comes I will  embrace each day as Brownie taught me, and as Brownie did.t  I know Brownie will be watching and looking over us the entire time.   I know in my heart, one day Brownie and I will be together again….

My Dear Beloved Brownie, Thank you for picking me! Thank you for loving me!  Thank you for your loyalty! Thank you for always standing by me through the hard times and the good times! Thank you for being there when no one else was! Thank you for all the lessons you taught me! Most of all, Thank you for just being you! You will always be my heart, and I will never ever forget you!

I loved you yesterday, I love you today and I will love you always!

Mom

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

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5 March 2021 - 5:56 am
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Nancy - That is a beautiful, loving tribute to Brownie filled with so much wisdom for the rest of us.  Your connection between how you would want Brownie to be happy if something happened to you and knowing that Brownie wants you to be happy now is a powerful reminder that the love between a dog and human does not die simply because one of them no longer walks the Earth.  Your video is filled with photos and videos of handsome Brownie that made me smile - especially the ones of back scritches because they remind me of Griffin.  May Brownie's memory forever be a a blessing. sp_hearticon2 Stacy

Griffin lived an amazing life for 11 years! Diagnosed with osteosarcoma on March 17, 2020, Griffin's right forelimb was amputated on April 2, 2020. Ten days later he was running and playing fetch! Lung metastasis discovered in July 2020 did not slow down Griffin and he lived joyfully for the next 7 months, passing peacefully at home on February 11, 2021. https://griffin.tripawds.com

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5 March 2021 - 10:48 am
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WOW! 

giphy.gifImage Enlarger

Nancy this is such a moving, uplifting tribute, I have no doubt that Brownie is spinning in circles with joy for his very wise mama, and the sweet girldog he brought to you, Sassy and Max. Yes, you get it! Reading you say the words about letting go is like watching a beautiful flock of birds fly away with your grief on their wings, so that your heart is no longer weighed down with sadness and free to be open to more love from other pups like Kenzie. I'm so happy for you!

Thank you for sharing, this made my day smiley4

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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Virginia



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5 March 2021 - 1:25 pm
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Reading you say the words about letting go is like watching a beautiful flock of birds fly away with your grief on their wings, so that your heart is no longer weighed down with sadness and free to be open to more love from other pups like Kenzie. I’m so happy for you!

Lovely Jerry💖

Nancy, dear sweet Nancy, another stellar tribute celebration  of our Beloved Bownie...so beloved by you and all of us💖

The way you synchronized the words with the exact right picture to translate the feelings visually  was just perfeguided and perfect.  You were in the "Brow ie Zen Zone when you put all this together.

And yes, without question, our dogs and cats want us to be happy!!  Never, ever, ever doubt that.  I know Brownie  is doing zoomies and running  in and out of creeks and barking  with exc6 knowing  you "got it".👏👏    row ie knows how much he means to you, and you to him.  No dog could  be more adored and loved.  We all have known that from your first post.💖  And ANYTIME you want to share anything, any photo, any video,any story, about Brownie we always welcome it!!  We.pve celebrating  him and the UNBREAKB bo d you two have. 

If was so touching  the way you intertwined Kenzie into the tribute....especially as a way of recognizing   Brownie  sent her to you to make you laugh and be hapoy!

While I was a tiny choked up sometimes, my emotions were feeling  joyful and happy for a life so well lived and so well loved.....and such a Happy, tail wagging  smiling boy   I am sooooo glad you are able to embrace that fully now💖

Then when. I got to the last little clip of  Brownie doing back scratches....at your request...I laughed out loud at that!  Truly one of the smartest dogs ever!!!

Love and light

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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5 March 2021 - 6:20 pm
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What a beautiful tribute to brownie and the love you two share! You are absolutely right my friend. More than anything in this world Brownie wants you to be happy. I know his greatest wish is seeing you smile. ❤️ I’m so glad that you’ve found peace and thank you for sharing this beautiful memory of brownie with us.

big hugs❤️🐾

         Hugs ❤ Bev, nurse Moe cat, Autumn's Angel Roane & Angel dog Gypsy 🐾

My sweet soulmate Roane was diagnosed with osteo in June of 2019. Had a rear leg amp on July 2nd & crossed the rainbow bridge to be with her sister Gypsy on the first day of Autumn Sept 23 2019.

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7 March 2021 - 1:26 pm
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Thank you all for your kind words!  It is a blessing to be part of a community that really gets it!

Stacy - When I was watching  Brownie's tribute I actually thought of Griffin when Brownie was scratching his back.  I always said that there was something about Griffin that reminded me of Brownie, but I couldn't put my finger on it.  Once you posted the beautiful pictures of the two of you I knew what it was.  Griffin looked at you the way Brownie looked at me, with a sparkle in his eye and love in his heart.  Just remember how much Griffin loved you and I know he is not far.sp_hearticon2

Jerry -  What a beautiful analogy.  It does feel like so much weight has been lifted.  I will always miss Brownie of course, but dwelling on the past is gone.  All the regrets and doubts.  Should I of done this ? Why did I do that ?  Did I love him enough ? Does he know how much I love him ?  I can't change the past, so why dwell on it.  When Brownie started in this world he was neglected and unloved.  Once we were together he was happy! We both were!  When he left this world, we were together, and he was so loved!  I don't think any of us can ask for more that that. sp_hearticon2 (Love the little video)

Sally - I finally got it.  I don't know how many times you told me "Brownie wants you to be Happy".  I am a little stubborn. I use to ask people why Brownie was so stubborn?  They would just look at me and say "really"?  I guess he got it from me.  lol.  But I finally got it!  Brownie wants me to be happy! sp_hearticon2

Bev - When Brownie first crossed over you wrote "Our soul mates never leave us".  Those words have always stuck with me. I now truly believe it, Thank you! sp_hearticon2

Michelle - Thank you for the nice words you wrote in Brownie's blog.  It means a lot to me. sp_hearticon2

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

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18 May 2021 - 3:05 pm
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Anybody know what time it is ?  lol

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

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18 May 2021 - 5:18 pm
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Oh goodness... its COOKIE time! I am so sorry. I got unsubscribed again. I finally found this and then other things needed my attention. I found it again and my phone rang (it was my mom) I am not sure this life has ever sucked the soul out of me as it does now, but seeing Brownie in your bestest of best videos was just amazing. Not just amazing... even more. Seeing the photos at the end... omgoodness WHO was the soul behind this.. I swear they are related somehow. 

There has been so much sadness in life. I could have found it on YouTube but honestly I didn't know if my heart could handle it. I am kicking myself now because my soul needed this. I know Brownie has laid the pavement to the brilliant videos you create. This was over the top sp_hearticon2

There is a saying that imbedded in me so many years ago. I know that I can't quote it now, but it goes something like: When your loved one leaves this earth your heart breaks. But another soul finds a piece of that hole and fills a little bit of that part. Before you know it, your whole heart is filled with all of these souls and you are complete. 

Our furbabies fill our souls. If you never feel pain then you have never truly loved. As hard as it is, it really is worth the trip. And we love each one for who they are individually. 

Sending huge hugs and so much love. Thank you for sharing these beautiful videos that you created.

Jackie and Huck sp_hearticon2

Hugs,

Jackie, Bo, Andy, Oscar, Phoebe, and the coolest feral tripawd kitty Huckleberry

Huckleberry's Blog

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18 May 2021 - 7:12 pm
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Heee heee! Yah Brownie, you know you rocked that harness! It's nice to hear your musical bark sweet angel.

How have you been Nancy? How's the furkids?

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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18 May 2021 - 7:37 pm
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They are all fine. I think Wyatt has been giving Miss Kenzie some chewing tips. She has removed 250 feet of lattice from the fence. Chewed the cord to Brownies air cleaner. Chewed several sheets, quilts and a mattress pad. She chewed the handle on the toilet bowl cleaner and I cant find it. Chewed the cushion on the couch. But this is the best of all. I was on a Zoom meeting with my boss. No webcam just sound. All of a sudden my computer turned off but I had electricity. I turn and looked at Kenzie. She is sitting there looking at me with the cord hanging out of her mouth. She unplugged me while I was talking to my boss! I am surprised she didn't get shocked. So I called my boss and told him I had a short power outage. Wasn't really a fib. I did loose power to the computer, just did not tell him how. Lol

She has finished having her 10 injections. She seems to be better. If she would calm her butt down and stop doing zoomies it might heal faster. I cant believe she will be one next month.

Jackie, thanks for the kind words. Sounds like you have alot going on. I will check on you over the weekend.

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

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18 May 2021 - 7:40 pm
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Oh, and she chewed a huge hole in the bedroom carpet so I just pulled it up. But Brownie did alot of the same things  but he was a little older. He turned out to be one of the best dogs so I do have hope for Kenzie. Lol

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

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18 May 2021 - 9:12 pm
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WOAAAAAAH, she's a busy girl! YIKES! I think she has outdone Wyatt for sure. That's some uh, productive, jaw exercising! I have no idea how to work with a uh, hobby like that. Any clues?

Glad everything is otherwise good!

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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19 May 2021 - 7:54 am
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I guess just patience. I did get upset about the couch but I can take it to a upholstery shop and have it repaired. I came out of my office and she was laying on the couch in a pile of stuffy stuff. I remember Brownie chewed the top of my new leather couch. I just remind myself she is just being a dog, but when I tell her no she just looks at me like "what", its mine so I can chew it. Brownie could not stand for me to be upset with him. He would follow me around until I gave in and said it's ok. Kenzie could not give a crap. Lol

Had really bad weather last night. I got a text from the emergency weather alert. Tornado take cover now! Then the power went out. Grabbed the dogs and a flashlight and sat in the bathroom. A tornado went right over my house. Talk a.bout being scared shitless. That was about 9 last night and just got power back on. But all is  good now. I think I'm ready to leave Texas. Lol

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

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Virginia



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19 May 2021 - 8:21 am
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WHOA......A SCARY NIGHT INDEED!!!  Glad everyone  is okay!!!   So all three dogs and you in the bathroom....how did they react?  Did they think it was a fun adventure?  Did they all get along?

Love seeing the video of Brownie and hearing his Happy voice😊   That tail just couldn't stop wagging😎  Such a good looking boy.

Too funny about all the mischief  Kenzie has gotten into😱.  Well, I guess not funny....but yeah, it's funny😁   Ahe doesn't  need toys, she's got sofas and pillows and rings, etc😎   And like a true dog Mom, just remove the temptation of the rug to help her be a very good girl!

Glad you're  safe.....and thanks for the Brownie joy and all the chuckles  that crazy girl Kenzie brings mus all

♥️♥️♥️

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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19 May 2021 - 10:42 am
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EEEEEK! Oh my dog I'm glad you guys are OK. Tornadoes freak me out! Scary stuff.

Yeah, patience is key I'm sure. As trainers like to say, we set our dogs up for success, or we set them up for failure. I know that typically when Wyatt got into trouble, it usually pointed back to something I did or did not do to make it easy for him to do damage to himself or something else. Dogs like Kenzie and Wyatt sure keep us on our toes don't they?!

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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