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Griffin's Journey
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Member Since:
22 September 2020
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3 February 2021 - 5:02 pm
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Thank you for sharing about your effort to focus your oncologists on what you needed from them. This whole thing can feel like a well-established system that we are just trying to fit into, and it is very easy to feel like your interactions have to fit into their way of running things. This seems especially so during the current pandemic, where you aren't even in the same room as them with your pet. After all, they do this day-in and day-out, whereas what I know? I only have my own single experience in this to draw from. So thank you for the reminder that our primary focus may not be the default one our oncologist has and that is totally fair for us to make sure they are addressing our focus too.

Hugs to you and Griffin. May he continue to defy all the stupid statistics.

Virginia







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3 February 2021 - 5:27 pm
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Well said Msddie's hooman👍

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

On The Road


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3 February 2021 - 7:44 pm
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WOW that's a lotta snow! He's sure well dressed for the occasion!

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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6 February 2021 - 7:11 pm
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     Stacy, Griffin is so lucky to have you.  Thanks for all of the detailed journaling .  You're doing everything humanly possible for Griffin.  Thanks for the positivity and the love.

New York, NY
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7 February 2021 - 11:12 am
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Let me start by saying Griffin is fine.

But that empowered, peaceful feeling I described in my recent post lasted for only 6 hours after his appointment concluded, at which point I received a call from Griffin’s oncologist.  She had just reviewed the completed radiology report which identified lesions on 4 ribs and a pathological fracture in one vertebra.  He is not in any danger of paralysis, but as we know, bones with lesions are more likely to break.  The vet stated how shocked she was by the results of the report because Griffin showed no signs of pain when examined.  She recommended that Griffin receive a bisphosphonate infusion (zoledronic acid) to help strengthen his bones and possibly provide pain relief.  Griffin returned to AMC on Thursday for that infusion and will go in every 3 weeks to additional ones.

It has taken me this long to post again because I’ve been pretty much in a state of panic since receiving that phone call.  How could Griffin have cancer eating away at his ribs and spine and not show any signs of pain?  Had he been signaling and in my overwhelming desire to show he was managing fine I just ignored them?  Were the signs there for so long that I just accepted them as the new normal for an 11-year old dog whose lungs are filled with tumors?  It feels like the end of his journey is rushing at me so fast and I am just so scared.

I know that having a plan always makes me feel more in control and balanced, so I’ve done a few things.  (1) A chiropractic appointment was deemed too risky, so Griffin is now scheduled for an acupuncture appointment on Tuesday.  The vet will come to our house and will also discuss with me supplements that may be useful in treating Griffin’s acid reflux.  (2) I did not notice any significant positive improvements after the bisphosphonate infusion, so with the oncologist’s approval, I started Griffin on gabapentin (300mg, twice a day) yesterday, and he does seem to be moving and resting a bit more easily.  (3) I had previously done some preliminary research on at home euthanasia providers in the NYC area, and reached out to several who also offer acupuncture.  I figured if Tuesday’s session provides Griffin some benefit, it would be comforting to form a bit of a relationship with a vet who could do acupuncture and who would also be able to help him cross the rainbow bridge when the time comes (the vet coming on Tuesday does not provide end of life services).  It would also be really nice to regularly have the opinion of a professional observing Griffin in his home environment in case I do miss any signs.  (4) I have researched and bookmarked mental health professionals who specialize in pet loss. I don’t yet feel ready to actually move forward with an appointment, but at least I have the information easily accessible.

There are so many horrible things about this awful disease, but it has been a special kind of hell to go through it in a pandemic with Griffin as my only constant companion.  I have always enjoyed living alone, but the lack of a physically present support system for the last year has been really difficult.  I try to put on a brave face for Griffin, and also for my family and friends who feel helpless not being able to be here with us.  But I’m struggling so much now, hyper-vigilantly watching Griffin’s every move, dissolving into tears when I think about not having him here with me, and not sleeping well.  For 7+ months since Griffin was diagnosed with lung mets, I have felt a constant level of stress that recedes at times, but never dissipates completely, and is at an all-time high level now.  I’m so very tired and I’m not bouncing back like I have with previous setbacks.  I keep reminding myself that Griffin is eating well, resting peacefully, and interested in walks, even if they are shorter and require more frequent rest breaks.  But multiple times a day I find myself praying for the wisdom to know when it is time and the strength to let Griffin go because it feels like the end is closing in on us.

I’m feeling a bit calmer today and focused on choosing joy one day at a time.  New York City was a winter wonderland this morning and Griffin was happy to munch on the newly fallen snow.  😊

Griffin-feb-7-blog.jpgImage Enlarger

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Griffin lived an amazing life for 11 years! Diagnosed with osteosarcoma on March 17, 2020, Griffin's right forelimb was amputated on April 2, 2020. Ten days later he was running and playing fetch! Lung metastasis discovered in July 2020 did not slow down Griffin and he lived joyfully for the next 7 months, passing peacefully at home on February 11, 2021. https://griffin.tripawds.com

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7 February 2021 - 11:37 am
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So, I am reading this and my eyes are filling up. Yet, I know Griffin is still exactly where he needs to be and is happily hopping with his mama. Playing in the snow is so much fun to watch. Nobody would ever know that he has these things going on. He is still living his best life. 

Stacy, I cannot even begin to say that I understand, because what is happening and what we all see are on such different ends of the spectrum. Griffin is truly a miracle dog and a lot of that is because of his mama and the care that he gets.

I wish I could give you a hug. The best I can offer is to be there if you ever need to talk, vent, yell.. whatever it is. I know you are staying strong for Griffin, so we will stay strong for you. You are always welcome to pm me and I will be there. 

There is still no time stamp on that adorable butt, and Griffin is obviously still loving his life. I truly doubt you would miss any sign that says different. Griffin is a happy dog. He also has this inner strength that is just truly amazing.

When the time comes, he will let you know. You have to believe that and just keep doing what you are doing. You are truly an amazing person and furmama. Griffin won the lottery when you entered his life. 

Sending you huge hugs and a lot of love sp_hearticon2

Jackie and Huck sp_hearticon2sp_hearticon2

Hugs,

Jackie, Bo, Andy, Oscar, Phoebe, and the coolest feral tripawd kitty Huckleberry

Huckleberry's Blog

On The Road


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7 February 2021 - 3:25 pm
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Stacy, my heart hurts for you, I'm so sorry you got this crappy news. How crazy that Griffin showed no signs. Can you imagine how much a human would cry out in that kind of situation? We are so much weaker than our pets!

But dang you caught it and now you have a plan to make sure nothing terrible happens. There is so much to be said for that. Please give yourself LOTS of credit for being so proactive. I know your heart hurts like never before right now, and you are already taking the courageous steps to prepare for the road ahead. You are as amazing as Griffin! I can't add to anything you're already doing, you are on the right track. 

And if you want to talk, we are here. You are not alone, call the Tripawds Helpline any time and you can talk to one of us OK? 

Give your amazing snow bunny some extra loving from us! We are keeping you in our hearts and celebrating all the joy that your sweet ray of sunshine brings to this community!

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

Member Since:
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8 February 2021 - 4:10 pm
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*hugs*

New York, NY
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8 February 2021 - 4:58 pm
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I’m looking for advice and reassuring words.

My intention was to keep Griffin’s walk this morning super short – just a block out and back – but Griffin wanted to walk a bit further, so we did.  The sidewalks are pretty clear of snow and ice, he did not appear to be struggling at all, and I did not see him slip.  Suddenly he just stopped walking and it was clear that he was having trouble keeping his balance.  He walked a few steps and dropped into a pile of snow, leaning on his left (non-amputation) side.  His back right leg looked like it was having muscle spasms, kicking out and back in.  I checked for an ice ball in his paw pads, and he did have a very small one tucked high up.  That did not seem to resolve the issue.  He struggled to stand up and was clearly uncomfortable trying to walk.  I picked him up (one arm behind his knees and the other across the front of his chest) and walked back about ½ block, but he was not happy about me carrying him.  He was able to walk the rest of the way home (about a block), though we stopped to rest a few times and he was moving very stiffly (he has seemed generally stiff the last few days).  Once home he has appeared to be resting comfortably on his bed and on the rug, but groans whenever he changes position, and he is not able to get up on his own (this is the most worrying part).  He has lain flat on both his right and left side, on his sternum, and curled a bit.  He can stand unassisted once he is up, though he does not appear to be putting full weight on the back right leg.  He ate a full meal around 4:30pm and is drinking water as usual.  I used the wagon to take him out for a pee break after he ate; he groaned when I put him in and took him out.  He walked a few feet on his own outside to find a suitable pee spot, almost fell over when he tried to lift his leg to pee, and walked back to the apartment on his own, but he is clearly not comfortable.  I have felt all over his body to look for sore spots, gently pressing along his spine and ribs, and flexed all the joints in his 3 legs, but he does not react in pain to anything.

He started Gabapentin on Saturday, 300mg every 12 hours.  I gave him another dose this afternoon and will move to every 8 hours for now.  Before today, he wasn’t doing a lot of walking in our home, but he certainly was able to get up and down on his own to move to different resting spots.  He has an acupuncture appointment at home tomorrow, but in the meantime, what more could I be doing?

Griffin lived an amazing life for 11 years! Diagnosed with osteosarcoma on March 17, 2020, Griffin's right forelimb was amputated on April 2, 2020. Ten days later he was running and playing fetch! Lung metastasis discovered in July 2020 did not slow down Griffin and he lived joyfully for the next 7 months, passing peacefully at home on February 11, 2021. https://griffin.tripawds.com

Member Since:
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8 February 2021 - 5:18 pm
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I dont really have any advise but I can tell you when Brownie was on Gabapentin his legs would go weak like jello.

Hope Griffen gets to feeling better.

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

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8 February 2021 - 6:06 pm
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He could be loopy from the gaba, I agree with Nancy.  Seems they get used to the higher dose after a few days.  

Huck was super loopy first few doses but toward the end it was like i didn't give him anything.  He stayed awake and alert. 

I don't have answers,  these are just my observations.  Might want to see how long after meds this happens and look to see if it wanes closer to when it's time for his next dose?

Big hugs ❤❤❤

Hugs,

Jackie, Bo, Andy, Oscar, Phoebe, and the coolest feral tripawd kitty Huckleberry

Huckleberry's Blog

New York, NY
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8 February 2021 - 6:18 pm
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Hi Nancy!  Thank you for the information - I did not know that ataxia (lack of muscle control and wobbliness, especially in the hind legs) was a noted side effect of Gabapentin.  Griffin took this drug last year for about 3 weeks prior to/after surgery, and he didn't experience anything other than some sleepiness.  I have reached out to his oncology team, but given the late hour, I don't expect a response until tomorrow.  So, I plan to skip his evening dose and hope that it is the Gabapentin that is causing this issue.  I smiled when I saw you had responded because when I was writing the post, Brownie's banner popped up and I hadn't seen his gorgeous face in a while!

Hi Jackie!  Griffin started taking Gabapentin on Saturday morning.  His symptoms started about an hour after his dose this morning, so that would be a somewhat delayed response.  If it is the Gaba causing the issue, skipping tonight's dose should allow most of it to clear from his system by tomorrow.  I also wonder if his dosage might be too high (300mg twice daily).  He was originally prescribed that 300mg up to 3 times a day after his surgery, but it is not clear that Griffin yet needs that high a level of pain control.  I've asked his oncology team for alternatives in case the Gaba isn't the best option for him at this time.  Hopefully Gaba is the culprit and it's nothing more serious.  Thank you for your kind words yesterday - they felt like a much needed hug!  sp_hearticon2

Griffin lived an amazing life for 11 years! Diagnosed with osteosarcoma on March 17, 2020, Griffin's right forelimb was amputated on April 2, 2020. Ten days later he was running and playing fetch! Lung metastasis discovered in July 2020 did not slow down Griffin and he lived joyfully for the next 7 months, passing peacefully at home on February 11, 2021. https://griffin.tripawds.com

Member Since:
4 April 2019
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8 February 2021 - 7:24 pm
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Dejavu. Didn't Brownies banner pop up last time when I sent you the PM. Lol

So Brownie also took the Gabapetin during recovery from amp and as you said just he experience sleepiness.  But he started taking  it for his arthritis and that is when it effected his legs. Really weird. I remember calling Sally because I was freaking out. That was in the evening  but in  the morning he was fine. Wierd. Well I hope Griffen is better when the drug wears off a little.

My Beautiful Beloved Brownie was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma on February 26, 2019.  With all odds against him he lived an additional one year and eight days with amputation, love, and prayer.  I was honored to be his mom, and I have never been so proud!  He will live forever in my Heart!

Brownie Bubba Bell

04/01/2007 - 03/05/2020

"March Saint"

Member Since:
22 September 2020
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8 February 2021 - 8:11 pm
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Any chance the pain is somehow connected to the bone lesions or maybe the vertebra fracture? Nerves are so interconnected that I could conceive that something along the vertebrae might be felt or cause spasms/reactions at extremities. Especially given the timing of this new symptom, right after this new info about Griffin’s current condition.

On The Road


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8 February 2021 - 10:21 pm
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Stacy I don't have any other suggestions I'll just echo what the others have mentioned, those are all valid suggestions. I'm so sorry for this scare and hope that by morning he's feeling better. Please keep us posted, I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending Tripawd Power your way!

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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