Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Hello Tripawds family,
It is with a broken heart that I am writing to say we will be letting Bailey take her journey over the Rainbow bridge in the next day or so.
5 months after diagnosis of osteosarcoma and leg amputation
11 weeks after her 4th round of Carboplatin
1 day after finding out her lungs are full of metastatic tumor and an ER visit.
Bailey had been living life, happy, active and pain free. Last Thursday, she started stumbling a bit on her hind legs. She started waking me up every night around 2:00 am, restless and off balance. Every day brought increasing uncoordination and weakness in her back end, and every day she stopped doing some of her normal behaviors such as sniffing around the yard, laying on her back and squirming happily while she got belly ribs, laying on the couch, crazily rubbing her face on the furniture after eating. Monday night was the worst, she stopped being able to stand or walk, due to extreme weakness in her back end and would just fall over once we got her standing. Took her to the ER at 2:00 am. After an Oncology and Neurology consult, xrays, blood work and UA, we determined her cancer had aggressively spread throughout her lungs, and possibly into the nerves/spinal cord. They did not see any obvious issue with her spine, but her back end has no reflexes, and very little pain response. So, we came home yesterday afternoon on prednisone, hoping to ease whatever is going on. I'm thankful that at no point has she seemed in any pain and the vets agreed. We upped her gabapentin and stopped the Carprofen so we could start prednisone.
Bailey had cheeseburgers along with her dog food for dinner last night.she spent a fairly quiet night sleeping with me in the living room.
I can tell she is ready. We will do the right thing and let her go to rest.
We have also made the excruciating decision to send Bailey over the bridge with her sister Brownie. Brownie is my elderly 15 year old lab who has severe dementia and incontinence along with mobility issues. We almost let Brownie go a few weeks ago because she wasn't doing well. But she suddenly had a rally and started eating again and doing some of her normal behaviors. I now believe she knew Bailey would need to leave us soon, and she wanted them to travel together.
To say I'm shattered is an understatement. I so wanted the 10 months with Bailey that was the median survival rate. But I'm so grateful she had a good 5 months being happy and loved.
So that is where we are, the place no one ever wants to be. Saying goodbye to two of the very bestest girls. My heart is shattered.
Here's Bailey on Sunday, enjoying a beautiful fall day in the leaves.
And my old Brown girl
And Bailey and her sister Bela, who will be the only dog left in the house, but will continue to be loved beyond words
Shannon
Oh my dear, dear Shannon and family♥️ Vrushed to hear the news. Crying to hard to even begin to formulate thoughts. Not that there are any words anyway.
I do hope the Pred can help. It can be quite the miracle drug in the short time sometimes when it comes to mets and spinr issues.
For now, I'll just send love and peace and a clarity in k owing you will always make the right decision for Bailey (and Brownie too) out of your soul deep love.♥️
I'm comi g back.
With love and light
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Shannon, I wish I had the right words, or could give you a hug. My eyes are watery and my gut feels like it's been punched knowing what you are dealing with right now. I am so very, very sorry the cancer was so mean to your beautiful, happy Bailey. Hopefully the Pred will give you more quality time and beautiful days outside over the coming days.
It is never easy here when one of our furmily members gets a raw deal, we all feel it deeply. And to cope with that, while helping Brownie along in her own journey, it's just unimaginable. You are such a strong, amazing dog mom.
As an oncology nurse I know you understand exactly what she is dealing with in her body, and why it's so important to allow her to transition peacefully and pain-free. Same for Brownie too. Your girls will go off to the Rainbow Bridge together, as you set aside your own grief and heartache to make sure they do not suffer in their last days. What a gift you are giving them.
It won't be easy for you and Bela to cope with such a drastic change in the pack, that's for sure. For now, spoil Bailey and Brownie rotten, give them lots of doggie kisses, and tell them that all our Tripawd heroes will be waiting to greet them.
Lean on us, we are here for you now and always.
Much love & many hugs coming your way from all of us.
We let them travel together tonight, peacefully at home, holding paws and surrounded by all of us.
I'm gutted and shattered, but comforted too, because Bailey was declining quickly and Brownie was ready too. They left their bodies quickly and now they are healthy and happy, running free.
Love to all of you for your kind words and support.
Shannon
Ohhhhhh Shannon. It takes my breath away knowing that your pack has suffered such a great loss. My heart goes out to you. I'm keeping you in my heart and sending love. Please drop by at some point if you are able, so we can honor Bailey and Brownie's life. They were so lucky to have you for their mom.
((((hugs))))
The only thing you can hold onto right now is they did travel to their next adventure together....and they were both free to run together like young puppies.. You freed them when their earth life was no longer what they wanted. They knew you would.
This is so gutwrenching beyond belief. À void from caregiving your sweet Bailey all these months (not nearly enough months), and the void from having Brownie with you for 15 years....all this seems so unbearable.
Spine mets are supposedly fairly rare, yet Bailey is the third recently who most probably had spine nets. We go into this journry because, like you, we all want to give our dogs a "chance". A chance for a pain free quaility life which almost all achieve....but for how long is always the unknown.
I know in Bailey's case as far as he was concerned, he was hapoy to have extended quality time with you for more spoiling and loving....and he received that and he wouldn't have traded that for the world. He wouldn't have traded a y of the time he had with you all these years, even if it was too short as far as hoomans are concerned. Of course, in hooman/dog years, Bailey got almost a half year which translates to over three years..
P,ease no you did everything possible for Bailey and he you left no stone unturned in giving him as good a life as possible......a life all dogs would want, but many never have.
Hold onto those happy .memories and let them help heal your heart. I found co fort in looking at pictures, even if sometimes it eas through tears, they always reminded me of the Happy tines....the times that really mattered.
We let them travel together tonight, peacefully at home, holding paws and surrounded by all of us.
The depth of love it took to orchestrate this transition where they could be free together...holding paws....huge lump in my throat. i am in awe at how you were were able to put lovely words to describe their next journey through your tears. They brought us comfort and I hope, in time, they will bring you comfort.
We do hope you will share more photos when you are ready.
Surrounding you with love and light and memories of happy times and wagging tails..both of heir wagging tails.
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
I
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
It's been a week since my babies left me. Once in awhile I'm somewhat ok, most of the time I'm not. This loss has left an immense hole in my heart and has shattered my soul. The house is so empty without them, yet everywhere I turn, there are reminders they were here.
Through my grief, I've been trying to help Bela overcome the loss of her sisters. I can tell she's confused, worried, anxious and lonely. I make sure I cry and grieve out of her sight, and project happiness and positivity when she is with me. We've taken up daily walks again, something we had to give up when Bailey had her amputation. Being out in the fresh air, doing all the sniffs, brings Bela such joy.
I've not yet been able to pick up all the extra dog beds or put away Bailey and Brownie's food dishes. It hurts to see them and it hurts to think about putting them away. I feel so empty and without purpose. No more pills to prepare each day, no more loads of dirty diapers from Brownie's incontinence, no more straightening all the throw rugs in the house that kept my tripawd safe.
Bela has never been one for hugs, loving on or kisses. She likes to lay by me and she is bright and humorous, but everything is on her terms. Bailey, on the other hand was so, so affectionate. Always giving kisses, wanting snuggles and loving. I miss those acts of affection so much, oh how my heart aches for one more sloppy face kiss.
I can't sleep much these days. I find myself in the dark, stepping carefully around the spots in the hallway where Brownie used to always lay. My own body/reflexes refuse to remember she's no longer there to step around. Every time I return home from somewhere, and only hear one bark of greeting behind the door instead of three, my heart shatters all over again.
I know grief takes time and I have to let it run it's course, but this has been one of the hardest, most devastating times in my life. I brought my babies ashes home yesterday, and they are now on the mantle with their brother Bruno, who passed away in January.
Thanks for letting me put my thoughts here, in this safe place where everyone understands my deep hurt. Here are a few last pictures.....
Holding paws as they traveled over the rainbow bridge
Bailey, Brownie and Bruno together on the mantle...my sweet babies.
Shannon
We're so glad uou found the courage to ppst these heartfelt thoughts chronicling. We k ow it was hard, yet hopefully it brought you a bit of comfort knowing we get it. We know what Bailey and Brownie meant to you.
Yes, I'm crying again, Bailey and Brownie holding paws together as they ran free to The Bridge.....gutwrenching and so beautiful at the same time. I k ow it's somewhat comforting to jave these two and Bruno's ashes together back home where they belong♥️
And yes, it is a safe place ro express your feelings. What you jave done is also helpful tomothers. Although this part pf the journey is soooo lonely, everyone here knows they are not along in their grief. Everyone here understands every word you wrote. Everyone here will not feel so alone when grief hits them because you articulated so well what you are going through.
I remember not wanting to go to sleep bec of that horrible knot inmy stomach. I remember not wanting to get up the next day because of that horrible knot in my stomach. I would drive to the end of the driveway bec I felt like I jist jad to leave the sad house. I would turn back around because I didn't want to leave the sad house where my dog"s sport still loves.
Many of us dont toich a things. The bowls stay in the same place, as do the gods, etc. And you know what, it's okay. Everything you are feelin g is 'okay". Whatever it takes to put one foot in front of the other is "okay". You grieve in your own way and it's okay.
Shannon, ait still on the sofa with Bella by uour side. Close your eyes. Let Bailey know you want to feel his presence and visualize that big sloppy kiss. You'll feel it. Be sure and wipe the slobber away
I'm posting a poem by Catherine Young. You will be avle to relate it's as though you wrote some of these words yourself.
With love and light,
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Things to do after your dog has died
Sweep the floor
Look out the window
Pant
Make a cup of tea and some toast
But then not eat them
Change the sheets on the bed
Try to sing
Start to cry
Forget what day it is
Stumble into a corner of the floor and hold your knees tightly
Keen
Pull yourself together
Make another cup of tea and this time drink it
Look out a different window
Stare at that spot on the floor where your dog used to stretch out, languid and happy, his paws twitching as he raced across sleep meadows and into dream ravines filled with moss and ferns and the scent of foxes
Look for the Kleenex
Use toilet paper instead
Wander around the house, your heart like a damned anvil in your chest
Heat up leftovers
Push them around the plate before leaving the entire thing in the sink
Look for what is not there
Hear things
Feel the forgotten fur beneath your fingertips
Feel the forgetting begin
Hold a memory, any memory, bright and shining, soft and sad, smelling of wet fur and leaves, with a whisker there and muddy paw prints left on the stairs, of a walk of a hike of a trip to the park with a treat and a bone and a belly rub snacks stolen off the counter and tug of war and the squeaky toy a glance of complicity in play with your hand on head with tail wagging and breath misting in the morning light or the moon over the trees while an owl croons ears are pricked and nose to the ground sniffing, sniffing, sniffing following the invisible trail to its joyful finding
Put on your pajamas
Turn around three times before you curl up by the rope toy and find yourself chasing the echo of a bark into a night that will never end
Grow a tail
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Shannon, we all surround you with love at this awful time. You courageously shared such raw emotion, that couldn't have been easy.
And Sally, well your wise words are such comfort, thank you.
I wish I could make this easier, to help you get through the grief faster. My heart hurts for you and your family, the very idea of saying goodbye to two beloved fur kids at once just makes my head spin. All I can say is every bit of grief you are feeling right now is so normal, the feelings of being lost and without purpose, of losing so much of your identity and routines. Multiply that by two, and it's a more difficult journey than most of us here could imagine. Lean on us though, because we all understand what it's like to lose a big part of your life, and your heart.
Bringing ashes home is part of the closure and healing process, but that doesn't make the day any easier. Allow yourself to feel what you're feeling, to write it down, to express your heart in writing, art, creativity, cooking, whatever it is that makes you feel closer to your girls. They are still in your heart and soul, and always will be. The more you can do things that remind you of them, the closer you and Bela will be to them for all time.
If it helps, consider talking to a grief counselor or even joining a support group. What you have been through is so incredibly difficult, if you are open to the idea of a support network like that, it could help you get your bearings in a way that honors your girls but also allows you to adapt to life without them.
And of course keep sharing their lives, and those beautiful photos. We are here and ready to celebrate all that you shared with them.
Many hugs and much love are coming at you from all of us. I hope you can feel it across the miles.
xoxo 
Thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your words of comfort, love and support.
It's been 5 weeks since my girls left. The grief is still so excruciating at times and is a constant low simmer every hour of every day. I miss them so, so much!
However, life does need to go on and move forward, and I remind myself every single day that they are happy and free, waiting until we are together again, for I truly believe we WILL be together again when my time here is done. For several weeks, other than taking care of Bela and normal daily things, I couldn't find purpose. I was falling into a deep well of despair and hopelessness. I knew Baily and Brownie would not want my life to be like this. So, they sent me an angel to care for.....
Benny is a rescue pup. He's endured a lot in his first year of life. But this boy is the most lovable, sweet, cuddly fur baby. He loves to give kisses and snuggle and make me laugh with his silly antics! I did not think I could ever get another dog the thought of bad things happening to any more of babies was just unthinkable. But, my heart needed some help to start healing and Benny needed a loving, safe family to call his forever.
Bela and Benny seem so happy together. She seems to have gotten her spark back since he arrived. I'm so grateful that fate, or karma or spiritual influences, whatever it may be brought Benny into our lives. I'm choosing love over fear and just living each day, since you never know if you'll get another day.
Just wanted to pop in and update.
Wishing everyone a blessed holiday season filled with love, light and memories.
With love,
Shannon ❤🐾🐾
Sweet Benny
Miss Bela
Oh my gosh I opened your post and the first thing I see is Benny, and my does a somersault! What a gorgeous sweetiepie! By choosing love over fear you put yourself in the right place at the right time to help this boy be the best dog he can be, and put new sparkle in Bela too. What a gift!
How is Bela doing now? Is she any smoochier or is Benny the new dog kisser snuggler in the pack?
It's really good to hear from you, thanks for updating so that others can see things DO get better even under the worst of circumstances when having to say goodbye.
Well Brownie and Bailey knew exactly who you needed in your life, that's for sure! And Benny needed you just as well!
We are all so Happy for you both, and Bella as well. And the photos.....sooooo cute!!
Yes, as .ong as you jave a dog in your life, it will be one of many and purpose♥️
((((((Hugs))))))
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
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