After 14 months and 19 days, Captain Jack Dillon fell asleep in my arms one last time.  He was having trouble walking and had taken to "face-planting" the past couple days...Jack just wasn't Jack anymore.  He still enjoyed life, he still perked up when people were around, so we didn't feel it was time yet.  Today, particularly this evening, was different.  He wouldn't eat his supper.  I took him outside to potty before bed and he did both and while we were waiting for Gracie to finish, he did a face plant then just sat down in some plants and looked at me like "ok mom, i'm bored, i'm done".  And I just knew.  So after crying for a bit outside, my dad and I went to tell my mom, he called the specialty center, and we headed on over.  It was all quite easier than I expected...they just took us into a room, Jack laid down, and they put the catheter in his back leg just like I had asked (so I could hold his front paw).  They had a really nice bed for him, but he preferred the cold floor, so I took over the dog bed which was, as promised, quite comfortable   Every time someone came into the room he would wag his tail, but he never once tried to get up, another sign that he was on board with the events of the evening.  The doctor came in, he snuggled in next to me, and put his head on my shoulder (a move that he used to love but hasn't done in about a month).  I closed my eyes and stroked his arm, told him how much I loved him, smothered him in kisses, and he just literally fell asleep.  I thought I wasn't going to be able to see his non-living body, but once his spirit left, all I wanted to do was snuggle him, squish him, be near him, kiss him...so that's what I did for a couple minutes.  Then it was like, I just wanted to leave.  My sister was on speaker phone throughout the ordeal so she got to be a part of the evening as well, and when we got into the car to go, she said she was watching comedy central which for some reason I thought was completely hilarious and so ill-fitting that I started laughing and my sister, my dad, and I made jokes the whole way home.  I'm OK.  I will miss him, but the truth is, Jack has been gone for a while.  I did cry again when we got home and I thought about seeing his harness in the entry way in the morning, so I had my dad hide his leash and harness until I'm ready.  I called my boss and am taking the day off from work tomorrow - I feel like I would be fine, but I work in a store where we get a lot of dogs in, and I think I may have a bit of trouble with that so soon (my boss understood).  I chose a private cremation and will send some ashes to my sister in OH and to Aaron (my ex, Jack's dad) in MI.  I can't believe that in just like, 30 minutes, this whole journey can be over, but also, as weird as it may seem, I am excited to start healing completely, to see where my life is going, and to see how I can help others because of my experience.  In other words...Jack's "gone", but we ain't goin' anywhere 🙂 We are not sorry here, so there is no reason for anyone else to be...also, I think his invisible self is a tripawd as well...he really seemed to come alive once that extra limb was gone 🙂  Please no rainbow bridges...Jack preferred docks and blankets; Maybe to eternally lounging on a blanket on a dock by the water...sounds really, really nice 🙂

<3 Laura and Invisible Jack