Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I knew this month would be hard on me ... it is the month Shelby finally said goodbye to her leg. Reliving each moment in my mind and through the power of a little app called #timehop has made it challenging. And then I learned today that another friend had to send her fur-baby to the bridge. This month alone, I have had four friends say goodbye to their pets plus the many friends here that I've never met. It's just sooooo sad.
And it makes me wonder at these times how and why I do this to myself. I look at Jasper Lily and I know she will die. I know it. I don't know when but each day we wake up, we are both (her closer) one day closer to death. How can I possibly go through that pain again? And when I find myself getting like this, I find myself missing Shelby more and more and it becomes a bigger struggle in my mind and heart to let love in. The pain is still SO raw. I miss Shelby SO much and I feel her memory and her story slipping away as I get attached to Jasper so I push Jasper away (not literally). I struggle and try and hold on SO hard to Shelby being my heart dog. And willing her to visit me in my sleep (which she has).
And then last night ... Jasper was exhausted from daycare (THANK GOD) and I was snapping photos of her sleeping and all the same then this one..You can kind of see it- a little blue dot - next to her nose. It was the ONLY photo it appeared in. It struck me last night as odd and then the more I thought about it, Shelby! It is her spirit. 
I full on know I sound manic and act crazy ... but I am trying to process this all in my mind and not lose my sh!t on a regular basis. Some days I just miss Shelby sooooo much!
And today is one of them. It is hard to even fathom that loss again when Jasper outgrows being a pain in the a$$ puppy and ages and slows down..
But this was us... a year ago. I know you can't live in the past. I know you shouldn't live in the past. But somedays... the past really was so much better than the present. Miss my best girl.
1. Asserting her independence and not sleeping on her bed!
2. A week after her surgery and she finally settled and cuddled w/me again
3. Snuggles .. the best. Oh how I loved how she would 'lean' into me ... she trusted me with her health. I just hope I did her proud.
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
What awesome pictures of your best girl. Shelby was gorgeous!
Believe me, you will have these days. And they may last longer than you ever thought they could. And you may just cry at the drop of a hat for no apparent reason. And you will deeply mourn the passing of other friend's pets remembering how raw your pain still is. And you will deeply mourn each tripawd that crosses the Bridge. And it will be particularly hard when those who joined the group about the same time you did loose their best buddy.
And slowly, you will realize you are beginning to heal. Sometimes it is really slow - for me it's been almost 4 years. And I still have those bad days hit me, and I still deeply mourn the passing of a friend's pet.
And the new pet will never measure up completely - although after almost 4 years, Duke is edging his way into my heart. There will never be another Shelby - and that is a good thing. Something that special just doesn't come along every day.
Hugs to you. We are all standing beside you.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
Oh Alison, you did her more than proud! You were there for Shelby every step of the way. She was your heart dog and I really think you truly never quite get past their absence. Do you get more than one heart dog in a lifetime? I think so. My first has been gone for close to 15 years now. I still think of her often. She was a one person pup and I was that person. I felt like I would never get over losing her. Chandler is sort of the same way for me. I constantly think of how he is 11 and I am so afraid of losing him. The way he actually SMILES at me when I come home at night just melts my heart. I see him aging and I don't like it. He is the first dog I got close to after Muffin. Then there was TY. I was so against getting a second pup. Then when he got hit by the car at a year old. Calling the vet ten times a day to see if he was still with us. Nursing him back to health. He would not go anyplace without looking back at me to see if it was ok. He and I became so close. Lucy, well she is carving her own little place I my heart. There are things she does that remind me so much of Muffin. She makes me laugh with her short little legs. Daryl, well he is the hubby's heart dog. Can't win them all! Loving another dog does not in any way replace or make the last one any less important. Your experiences with Shelby have helped mold you into the person you are today. She has helped you be a great Mom to JL. You will Never forget her, ever! Even if you love 10 dogs! That, however may not fly with your landlord. LOL I have to agree that January is a stinky month. I love the blue sparkle next to JL's nose. Looks like a Shelby sign to me! I suppose what we have to concentrate on is just loving our dogs and giving them the best life that we can. It is all we can really control. Hugs, Lori, Ty and the whole canine gang
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Alison,
You are not crazy that very well could be Shelby there in that picture. You are doing good with this. All I can say is that you know there will be days and today is one of those days. You know there will be no other Shelby just like there will be no other Sassy. But we learn to love our babies and they get a piece of our heart. One day my heart will be all dog. Because of each and everyone of my fur babies.
I have shared this picture on Sassy's blog and with a few others but this picture is the 1st day we got Barney it is the only picture that has orbs in it. The one before & the one after did not. I know its not dust. This was right after we found out she had lung mets. I said it was her guardian Angels that came with Barney's box.
Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy
Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013
05/04/2006 - Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19 fought cancer for 4 months.
"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."
Alison...Shanna....Lori....well said....so beautifully articulated.
For me....and this is just me.... I DO believe every dog who has graced me with their presence since I was born has been my "heart dog". Sure, for different reasons, but I KNOW each one has a place in my heart forever. Every single one has taught me to love deeper. Each one has expanded my capacity for love and compassion for all beings beyond...beyond my human understanding.
For me, they are a connection to our higher selves...our higher consciousness.....our authentic selves.
Yes, this journey makes us fearful of feeling the pain of loss all over again. The intense highs and lows, stress, panic AND depth of love and devotion make it like no other.
But to never allow yourself to love a dog again and feel their love in return....nah....for me anyway...I cannot imagine the emptiness, the insanity of lonliness.
Alison, I truly believe Jasper Lily and Shelby are showing you how to navigate your own human relationships. They are bringing forth different dimensions of your beautiful soul. They are your doorway to your deeper self.
When you see them in that light, perhaps it will lessen the fear of "loss" and return your focus to what they are here to teach you...and their lessons for our soul are indeed eternal!
Thank you for being you...raw and authentic...beautiful and strong...loving and compassionate.....serious and funny....scared snd brave...and a connoisseur of wine!!!
Yes, you continue to make Shelby proud!
Always sending love and light!
Sally and My Guiding Eternal Light Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
PS...As much as your heart hurts,......it is worth the pain to have been able to have Shelby in your life for all these glorious years!! The saying...".I woukd rather have love and "lost" rather than to never have loved st all"...something like that....
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Oh Michelle..I just saw your post...I love it and I love the meaning you gave it!!! TRUE...SO TRUE!!!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
I don't have a long comforting post for you, but I wanted to tell you that I am sorry you are hurting so much right now. I hope you know it is OK and perfectly normal to have days like this.
I still really miss my first dog, Severn. She was an only dog for a couple years, and we did EVERYthing together. I was working in a kennel and took her to work every day. She was a bit of a livewire, so we did a lot of training and walking and just were so so close.
I have taken in a lot of other dogs since getting her, some permanent & some temporary. Some are closer to my heart than others (like Millie, who was my second dog and oldest at the time of death), but all of them have added something to my life. They are all special in their own way.
You and Jasper Lily will grow closer as time goes on. it's OK to love her whole heartedly. She will never replace Shelby, and loving her fully and unconditionally does not detract from the love and bond that you shared with Shelby.
Not sure what it means but I finally saw Shelby's banner page. I had not seen it before. She really was a cutie pie, and I hope the memories of her bring more & more smiles and fewer & fewer tears. As time goes on I think you will find this happening. The memories will bring warmth rather than that lump in your chest that hurts so much.
Hugs to you during these difficult days (anniversaries of all the "first time without" are the hardest)
--Sonya
Sonya & "Millie"--born Feb 1999, diagnosed with OSA 8/27/14, set free 9/27/14
(RIP baby girl)
Alison, you are not alone! I truly believe in the "heart dog" adage. I KNOW Eddy was my heart dog. I think of you a lot, Alison. When Eddy was diagnosed and about 4 weeks post amp., we got a new Golden Retriever, Millie. Our breeder offered her to us as she felt so bad about Eddy's diagnosis at age 7. Looking back, all I can say is it is a good thing we got Millie then, because I don't think I would be able to add another dog to my life now. Millie is here and she is a great little girl. But, she is not my loyal and protective Eddy. I let her outside and she takes off like a race car, Eddy never ventured far from my side. It's different. I suppose its just the way kids are, they each are different and have their own personalities, and I suppose that is a good thing. But, boy do I miss my handsome boy! I know Millie will grow on me in time. It's just, well, it's hard. I can totally relate to your comment about pushing Jasper away. Our hearts are torn, I think. Jasper will grow on you, too. It will never be the same. It will be different, but that's ok. Please know you are in my thoughts and in my prayers. I know how badly it hurts. ~Betsy
Betsy Golden and Angel, Eddy. Eddy was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma 7-23-14, had a left rear amputation 8-07-14, had 3 rounds of carboplatin chemotherapy, a small lung met was discovered in October, had 2 rounds of doxorubicin, and unfortunately more lung mets were discovered. Eddy fought cancer valiantly and went to the Rainbow Bridge 1-6-15, at the age of 7 years and 359 days, just six days short of his 8th birthday. Best Dog, Ever....you will never be forgotten.
Alison,
You're right...this month has been filled with a lot of loss of precious furkids. It's so hard to keep moving forward when all we want to do is go back to the past when our sweet Angels were happy and healthy. But sadly time just keeps moving forward and we're pushed right along with it. Just remember that Shelby knows what you need and what you needed was Jasper (just like I needed Lucian...although sometimes I question the sanity in that when he turns into the "a$$hole"...lol).
You know I didn't think much of these couple of pics I took of Lucian this morning. We were outside when the sun was starting to rise and it was 19 degrees out. Needless to say I was freezing may butt off while Lucian wanted to play with sticks instead of doing his business. I just happened to take my phone out with me in the off chance "a$$hole" would stand still long enough for me to get a picture instead of running at me every time I lift the camera up. What I got was simply beautiful and after reading your posting maybe Leland and/or God is shining down on us. You guys know I've been waiting for some sort of sign from Leland...maybe this was my sign...
Hugs my friend!
Sahana and her Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
Sahana and others ... thank YOU so much for your kind words ... I read them all - many times and the collective wisdom and love and support here is unlike anything else I have experienced in my life. So for that, THANK YOU! The roller coaster of all this never seems to end - even in death. It is our new reality and I do love Jasper *even when she's a brat.
Sahana - definitely a sign and beautiful photos!!! Thank you for sharing! He looks so regal. and I LOVE that you call him an a$$hole!!!! I don't know why but that cracks me up. Like when my BFF refers to her 8 year old son as being an A$$hole! It's just funny.
Shelby definitely knew what she was doing in sending me JL. she also wanted to ensure I never slept through the night again! Or rested when I got home from work. I swear - even as a single mom, it might be worth getting a sibling... Jasper is extremely demanding of my time!
Hugs and love to you!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Ohhhhh. Sahanna, these are beautiful, just beautiful...very touching. I would DEFINITELY consider this a sign from Leland that he is surrounding all of you with his loving and protective light. You need to print that out and frame it.
And thate why the little a**h**e didn't do his bidness right away...he knew Leland had am message for you!
So glad this happened for you. I keep scrolling back up and look at the pictures. They just take my breath away.
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
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