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The Brothers Nope is No More
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Raleigh, NC
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29 April 2013
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24 July 2024 - 11:42 am
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I am still in shock and cannot believe I am writing this.  We lost Allen to metastatic spinal cancer.  Since they found I believe three different types of cancer in his tumor two years ago, we do not know what type of cancer it was but the guess is OSA.  They did not show up on X-rays.    He also had one nodule in his lung. 

We had no idea he was sick.   Hindsight shows us he had some behavioral changes over the past four months but nothing bad.   On Thursday night we had a bad thunderstorm and had a lightning strike very close to the house.  I screamed, the boys freaked out, and we lost electronics from the strike.  The living room showed how scared the dogs were from the strike because dog beds and carpet runners were scattered everywhere.  Allen stood and shook in the hallway and nothing we did or gave him could calm him down.   Standing that long always impacts him so when he was sore that night and cut our evening walk short, we were not surprised.  

Thursday night, Allen wanted to sleep in the living room but wanted me with him,  I slept in a dog bed with his head on my thigh.  I gave him some galliprant and we slept through the night.  Friday he was able to go down the stairs ok but he could not go up the stairs.   I started to feel dread that I was about to lose my dog.  Once again, I was sleeping in a dog bed with my boy.  I had wanted to call my vet to get him in on Saturday morning for X-rays but Allen was very needy that night and I overslept and it was too late to call.  I started calling the local emergency vets to see what wait times were.  Allen was always extra anxious and would never lay down in a vets office.   He finally started using the beds at his acupuncture two weeks ago but I realize that was probably because he hurt.   

On Saturday I reached out to Dr Williams, our PT vet, and told her Allen’s current symptoms and my gut feeling that this was something really bad.  Our normal 24 hour urgent care had become a full blown emergency hospital and no longer did appointment.  Allen didn’t meet the criteria as even an urgent case so we were told we would be waiting at least two hours or more to be seen.   With his anxiety, they referred us to an urgent care in Raleigh that could do imaging.  They had no more appointments Saturday but could see him Sunday at 2:30 pm.  Allen is still on his feet and only needs assistance going up stairs.   We notice a large bruise on his inner thigh but cannot explain it but it wasn’t growing.  (Allen was a bleeder so a bruise could be life threatening quickly.)

Saturday night was horrible.   Allen could not settle and kept wanting to go outside but once outside had no idea what to do.  He had one strange walk where he urinated four times but his stream was not as forceful as normal.  He peed four times and each time took 45 seconds instead of 15 (if you ever had a dog with bladder stones, you learn to monitor urine flow and count the seconds).  Two hours later he peed like normal.   We were up and down all night and he slept in the bedroom that night but would not settle down until I sat down next to him and he rested his head in my lap.  I had given him gabapentin and it can cause issues with motor function and increase anxiety so we blamed the anxiety and mild ataxia we were seeing on that.

Sunday morning he was still able to get up and walk without assistance.  He started needing help laying down and was starting to have issues with proprioception but mild. He came out to our living room and joined us for coffee.  He needed help laying down which was concerning and we were going back and forth between head straight to the EV or keep our appointment.   Allen went into a deep sleep finally so we set a baby monitor on him just let him rest.  I went and ran an errand right before we had to leave and Allen didn’t great me at the door.   That has never happened.  

He started to fuss, made eye contact with me, lifted his tail and actively pooped in the bed.  He was upset and it became clear he could not get up.  We are now in a crisis.   Just getting him to the car was hard on everyone. We were not able to get the help em up harness on him and just used his ruffwear harness and a towel.  He left a trail of poop down the hall and had some urine leak out too.   He had almost no proprioception in his hind leg.  The decline in less than 6 hours was shocking.  

we called the EV and gave them our eta.  One look at him and hearing how quickly he went from ambulatory to this and they came with a stretcher.   The next 24 hours was a roller coaster as none of Allen’s test results showed anything that aligned with any other tests.  Possible lung met.   X-rays and ultrasounds show no tumors.  His bloodwork is a little wonky but his clotting tests were horrible.  Because of his bruising and possible internal bleeding, he was sent to Blue Pearl who treated his bleeding the last time.  Blue Pearl was waiting with nurses and a stretcher for us.  Everyone was still thinking this was all a fall related injury.  

when we left Allen, he still had full control of his front legs and could sit up, he could not stand.  He had some motor function in his remaining hind end and obviously still had deep pain.  They stopped testing for it because every time they squeezed his toes it was bruising badly.   

they called me at 5:30 to let me know he was clotting normally again and they were still having issues  with their lab and were sending his blood out for another lab to review.   They had nothing from all the tests they repeated last night.   They mentioned that his bladder was very full but he was not peeing inside.  They were going to wait 12 hours before giving him a catheter.   I explained he is a dog who will pee any chance he gets but is not paper trained.   I asked them to take him outside and see if he can still pee.   Express his bladder for him or give him a catheter if not.   

The vet went to do that and everything came crashing down after this but we started to get answers.   Allen was so happy to get up to pee and was able to pee on his own.  His hind leg had no motor function at all.   They immediately tested him for deep pain and he was negative.   Allen was not painful at this time and actually didn’t appear to be in pain but was mostly anxious.    Allen was not a candidate  for spinal surgery due to his bleeding disorder and Hyperkalemia (high potassium that causes the heart to contract and stay contracted, never beating again) plus the success rate is only 10%.  I speak with the PT vet on life in a wheelchair for Allen.  Allen shows signs that he might be able to adapt so we ask for a neuro consult,   If he is just paralyzed from this suspected fall and is pain free, we will give him a chance with life on two legs.  

The neurologist spent a bit of time with him and found his pupils were different sizes and it all went downhill from there.   They could not identify what exactly was causing all these neurological issues without better imaging.  We declined the ct scan and MRI because they were going to be too many hours under GA.  We didn’t get the test results until late in the day and I had told them I wanted at home euthanasia if he remained stable.  We made a plan but the cancer had other ideas.  The neurologist called while Walton was in his PT appointment so we were in town.   I went over to a friends house first to try to get my tears out before I saw Allen.   We got to the hospital before shift change and Allen came into the room in a help em up harness dragging his hind leg and having some ataxia in his front legs.   He no longer could sit up on his own.  We cuddled like it was a Sunday Afternoon.   A thunderstorm rolled in and all three of us are thunder phobic but I asked Walton to be brave for his brother and to just lay back down.  He did.  He shook the entire time but tried to be calm for his brother.  Being littermates, they had a tight bond.   They let us stay too long.   Allen was now painful and on pain medications and they were wearing off.  He was starting to get restless and I was about to call the nurse when they showed up to say he needed his pain meds.

I had asked that Allen be assigned one nurse and she stayed with him until his last hours.  They bonded and she came in and asked Allen if he was ready to get up and he immediately started helping her get him to his feet until he looked at me and flopped himself back on the floor.  I stepped out and he let her get him up then.   The ataxia on the front was worse than two hours before and he was focusing so hard on trying to move his legs That when Walton ran up to him to initiate their special greeting when they are apart, Allen could not reciprocate and do kissy face and p*cker sniffing.   Walton has been crushed ever since and is avoiding almost everything that Allen liked.   Everything but the big bed in the living room.   Walton won’t even eat out of the food bowl Allen preferred or the bed he preferred for night sleeping.  

seeing Allen be carried away from me and how quickly he was declining changed all of our plans.  Even though he was mentally there and not vocalizing his pain, we should have let him go that night.  In the morning, the paralysis just kept inching up his body.  My biggest fear was it was going to hit his diaphragm and his death would be the most terrifying experience for him and everyone around him.  The vets and techs remarked more than once that we were not normal clients and we knew a little too much.  They admitted that it was a possibility and we probably didn’t want to wait too long.  Allen had lost use of his left front leg and it took a lot of effort to do the paw of more with his right.   

On Friday I had promised Allen his own Sirloin on Monday because he was begging so hard for my ribeye that night.  If I had known, I would have given him the steak I had cooked for my lunch the next day.  His last meal was one ounce of ribeye (Rich would not let me bring more thinking he would choke since he had stopped drinking on Monday), Bojangles supremes, and a taste of apple mead.  He didn’t care for the mead this time, should have gotten him some sweet wine.   I swabbed his mouth with water so he could eat.  He ate the steak with enthusiasm and was happy.   He did not care for the biscuit this time.   He also was completely on board with me swabbing his mouth.  He drank a few sips of water but liked me swabbing his mouth more.  

my poor little boy was just bleeding without clotting and had lots of bandages on him.  He was vocalizing quietly when they carried him in.  They didn’t know why he was in pain exactly but he was definitely in pain now.  He was tired and the fighter in him was starting to fade.   He still loved his people and had moments of alertness when he ate and interacted but mostly he would fade and rest.  

We didn’t bring Walton with us because of several reasons.  Allen was the dominant dog in the house and Walton was not allowed near him when laying down.   Walton has always wanted to cuddle Allen like when they were puppies but Allen always said no.  We didn’t want him to witness the actual death as we didn’t know how his brain was going to process that event.   Whenever I have had animals see another die, it has not been good for the survivor,    Cookie needed to see Nixon’s body and she was behind a screen when he died but she did get to hear his heart stop and him stop breathing.  She insisted on going with his body to the vets car and even kissed him one last time.   Rich wanted to be with Allen but would have stepped outside with Walton instead of having a stranger hold him.  

Allen passed with his head on his favorite pillow and my arms wrapped around him, spooning like always.  Rich was holding his paw.  The staff had fallen in love with him and were amazed that he lived this long without chemo.   And how big he was.  Apparently without me around he was a model patient.  

the house is just so quiet.  Wildlife keep walking up to the house.  An 8 point buck that Allen had always wanted to eat showed up yesterday morning.  Allen was always barking and standing guard but I had started thinking he was barking just to get treats but no, he was so good at barking them away, we almost never saw them.  Allen was always providing commentary on everything and anything.   His big nose was always in your business or goosing you and laughing about your discomfort from the invasive butt sniffing.   

this has been the hardest death on me.  Yes, he was with me for two more wonderful years but he was just 6.  His birthday is August 4.  I had to take the day off because I just am so angry right now and I want my dog back.  On the one hand having such a quick decline was a blessing because he was always Allen right until the end but my dog is still dead and still want one more hug.   

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Virginia



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24 July 2024 - 2:45 pm
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My dear Ingrid 💖and my dear Rich.💖 I have to admit, I'm crying so hard and, although riveted to every word, I had to come back off and on to just grasp the reality of everything that has happened and how things turned out. I'm a jumble of thoughts right now and cannot express pr formulate anything other than how very, very, very sorry I am how all this unfolded so quickly.

Even through all this ..all this hell on earth time.....you stil had a brief moment of  your incredible wit.  

.........."apparently without me around he was a model patient. "

I loved that uou "cuddled like it was a Sunday morning"

Ingrid and Rich, right now there are no words, actually there never will be. But I have to go gather my thoughts before I can come back. I have met you both and some of your dogs and I have gotten to know the commitment and the love you have provided each and every one of them. I'm so glad Allen got to be a recipient of that.

For now, just surrounding you with my love

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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Virginia



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25 July 2024 - 9:16 pm
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I have been privileged  to get to know  Rich and Ingrid when I first joined in 2013 because  my Happy Hannah was diagnosed with osteo and needed an amputation. I dont remeber al, of the timeframes, but OhMyNixon was diagnosed somewhere along the lines,  Through  Tripawd pawties I got to meet Nixon and Cookie as well.

Ingrid and Rich have provided THE most loving and caring home any dog could ever want.  Through the years I have gotten to know the depth of love and commitment as they give their heart and Soul to every dog they bring in on the heart and hone.  Often times many of the Greyt GreyHounds they adopt have health issue often quite severe,  as well as psychological issues.  That doesn't  stop them from showing each of these dogs what love and happiness and security  feel like.  They never left any stone unturned in their care.

Nixon, Cookie, Will I Am, Quibbs, Leo, Tex, Allen, Kitty Kitty (not a Greyhound😉) all Angels.   They still have Walton (also not a Greyhound....a cute dog that was her Mother's).

Ingrid, I KNOW how hard it was to come here snd tell is about Allen's passing.   As always though,  you still were able to educate  us by sharing  the "backstory" of what went on with Allen's health issues that eventually, yet suddenly, overtook him.  You've always instinctively  known when to continue to intervene with medicine, tests, alternatives,  etc Yoi've also known  when to help them transition knowing  they were loved so very, very loved, and  each one appreciated  for their own individuality.

No words can help uour broken heart   and alleviate  unbearable grief..  As you know, the void gets worse before it gets better.  The sadness gets worse before it gets better.  No, time doesn't heal your hurt, it just helps you live with it. .

I know you will at least find comfort  in being able to be with Allenand to be able to extend his earth life further than expected.  Yes, Allen sure did beat the odds....thanks to you  and Rich.

Love,

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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Raleigh, NC
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29 April 2013
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25 July 2024 - 11:04 pm
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Thank you Sally.   This has been a difficult journey.  I will be better eventually but the tears come so easily right now but it is only 48 hours since I lost the biggest greyhound we could find.  That is what I asked my friend Kris to do, "bring me the biggest greyhound you can find" and she found Allen.  We loved him so much we asked if he had any littermates left racing and Walton was the last one.  He was ours if we wanted him.  And that's how the Brothers Nope came to be. 

RC Miss Kitty aka She Who Must Be Obeyed was a greyhound too. She also had osteosarcoma.  We don't talk about it much because like all my dogs, she was not the norm.   We did not know she had bone cancer until a horrific pathological fracture.  I mean horrific. 

Side note about Miss Kitty.  She was a certified therapy dog, was recognized by our Governor for her volunteer hours at a big ceremony where she was one of only two dogs attending.  She was also Rich's service dog and was trained to alert him when smoke alarms and other electronic alarms went off that are inside his hearing loss, and this dog never met a stranger.  She was a master jedi that Nixon learned from and could convince strangers to give her things.   We had to buy her a minivan because she would jump in strangers minivans and convince them to give her a ride home.  Multiple times I gave people I barely knew my home address so they could give my pushy dog a ride home until we bought the kittyvan. 

She trained a friend's husband in a matter of minutes to roll her buster cube around for her so she could eat the treats with no work.  She only brought out her buster cube when we had company so they could feed her.  She failed every iq test because she refused to participate in such an activity. She was the pushiest dog you would ever meet but an excellent communicator.  She loved children and puppies.  

She loved cops and firemen.   She would get them to turn on the lights on trucks and patrol cars for her.  I still am not sure how she did it but she did.   I cannot stress how friendly and popular my dog was with everyone but the greyhound community.   

She didn't like greyhounds who were rude and many are.   Back then we were told that obedience training was cruel to greyhounds so no one did any with them.  We now know that clicker training works fine on them but correction based training does not. 

She had spinal stenosis for about seven years and had poor proprioception in her right hind leg.  On Friday, she went down the stairs to the backyard and I noticed she went out of her way to land on her right hind instead of her left.  Made a mental note of it to talk with the vet on Monday when she had her chiropractic visit.

Back to her OSA story. I dropped her and Nixon off at daycare on Saturday morning to spend the night.  Rich and I were spending the day in Greensboro and didn't know what time we would get back so we boarded them. 

My plan was to get up early Sunday and pick them up at 8 and then go do a 1.5 mile walk at Clemons State Forest.  I got up and watched them on the Webcam and they were having so much fun so I decided to let them stay and went back to bed.

I am always thankful for this because if what happened next had happened while we were on the trail or while getting in and out of the kittyvan, I would probably still be traumatized by it and blaming myself.

All the dogs at Lucky Paws were napping.  Kitty would normally pick out a kennel and demand to be locked in to nap in peace being 14 but that day she decided to sleep with the entire crew.   As everyone was waking up, she stood up from her nap and her left rear leg snapped in two right below the hock with just the tendon on the hock holding the bottom of her foot barely to the rest of her body.  I knew it was OSA as soon as I saw it.  It did not bleed at all which was kind of strange too. 

She was amazingly calm and was waiting for me on a dog bed with a magenta blanket. She never tried to get up when we moved her into my van and was pretty chill the entire ride.  

We got to wait with her in between xrays and other tests. Every time she came back to us, she had another pillow on her stretcher. I finally asked after the FIFTH pillow showed up and the vet students said we'll she said she wanted it.  They then were embarrassed for saying it but that was what life with Miss Kitty was like. 

She was the first dog I whispered "One more hug will never be enough" as she passed and I say that to every dog since.  Other than I love you, it is the last words they hear from me. 

At 14.5 she had a lot of chronic health issues that were getting close to ending her life.  We were offered amputation but it just was not the right choice for her. They thought she had lung Mets but she had benign tumors in her lungs. We found out months later because we allowed the vet students to do a post mortem on her before her cremation.  The one thing they did marvel at was that she was almost in complete kidney failure by the looks of her kidneys but her blood values did not show that at all.  

Everything feels wrong still for me but I am feeling better about Walton.  Walton accidentally grabbed the pillow Allen died on last night when I came home from an errand.  He was just grabbing the first toy he saw.  He dropped the pillow just as quickly as he picked it up.  Then he sniffed and sniffed and sniffed. He looked up and he needed hugs.  I made Rich come out and hold him.   This was a turning point for him though. 

Walton started doing morning rituals today.   He barked at the doorbell.  He was so unsure of himself.  He finally ate his first meal since Saturday a couple of hours ago.  

The greyhound community is already looking for our next hound without me asking for it.  Choosing to love again can be hard.  We are being asked to take one of 14 hounds that have had to have surgery to repair a broken leg.   We are doing research to see what this would require. 

Now the more bad news.  Walton has an unexplainable limp on his right hind leg since April.  Even our vets freaked when the lameness started.  We have been doing xrays once a month since April and have found nothing so far.   We have done spine, hips, and rear legs.  He has a consult with an orthopedic surgeon on August 13 and has been in physical therapy for a month.  He also is doing acupuncture and I have him on turkey tail. 

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The Rainbow Bridge



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26 July 2024 - 3:42 pm
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Oh my dog Ingrid, I am so deeply sorry your sweet, amazing warrior Allen got his wings. My deepest sympathies to you and Rich, and Walton. What a terrible blow and it happened so fast, it took my breath away just reading how things unfolded. Just way too fast, and so unpredictably.

His sudden passing feels so unfair. I wish I could take some of that heartache away for you.  The old saying "when you love hard, you grieve hard," is never more true, but it doesn't do much to help ease a broken heart does it? I have no words that can do that. Only time will, as you know too well. And meanwhile please know, the Brothers Nope will always be together in one way or another.

You and Rich have given your dogs such an incredible life, every pup knows they are loved and treasured, and you would go to the ends of the earth for them. What a gift! The way you know and convey every little nuance about each dog, even years later (thank you for sharing Miss Kitty's story!), and how they interact with one another and the world, speaks volumes about how you dedicate every minute to giving them their best life. I wish every dog could be so fortunate!

When people ask about whether or not they should or shouldn't do chemo. I like to point out the pros, cons, and give a shout out to those who have beaten the odds without chemo. Allen is one cancer warrior who did, and will go down in the Tripawds Hall of Fame. We will never forget your incredible guy.

Please keep us posted on how you are doing. You are such a great resource to this community, please allow us to help you cope with your heartache.

Sending lots of love and hugs your way ...

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Virginia



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26 July 2024 - 8:07 pm
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First of all, , apologies for not remembering  Miss Kitty kitty was a Greyt Greyhound.  I do DEFINITELY remember  her moniker  as "She who must be obeyed".😎  You've had so many of your pack with osteo or some other for of cancesoooooo unfair but it is a disease that has no sense of fairness, it's just brutal and cruel.

 

  The way you know and convey every little nuance about each dog, even years later (thank you for sharing Miss Kitty's story!), and how they interact with one another and the world, speaks volumes about how you dedicate every minute to giving them their best life. I wish every dog could be so fortunate! 

Through your tears, you are still able to be here to introduce (or re-introduce) each of your dogs in a way as though we know them personally.   At the same time, you are here posting to help others and share your incredible vast knowledge, your compassion and your encouragement and rays of hope.

Yes, Allen will be our go to as one who beat the odds on so many levels.  

You and Rich are truly Saints on earth for each of your dogs....and for all of us here♥️

Love

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

PS....I'll share with you and Rich because  you both met Frankie and Myrtle.  My Myrtle went blind several years.....after a rough start she has adjusted  beyond brilliantly.   I did have to release Frankie to the Rainbow Bridge in March.  I adopted two bonded pair hounds little less than two years ago. Hank and Cash  been in shelter for year...one tripawd.   Both had unexpected health issues I could not treat (spine disc causing  paralys...surgery not recommended...the. couple of mp ths later Cash had emergency surgery  for pica blockage...survived a high risk surgery ...eveventually didnt  make it at home.....horrible

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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Raleigh, NC
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31 July 2024 - 10:43 pm
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Oh Sally, I am so sorry to hear about Frankie.   I will forever be in love with his voice and enthusiasm for everything. 

I'm glad to hear Myrtle has adjust well to going blind.  I'm sure being able to rely on you for emotional support helped her through the transition.   

I remember back in the 80's seeing an article in Dog magazine about making a collar for dogs with flexible rods under each ear the extended out a few inches past their muzzle so they could navigate new areas.   I have not had a blind dog so I have never tried it.  In my house with my clutter, that could be a disaster.  My house is not puppy or childproof! 

I remember when you brought Hank and Cash home.  I'm sorry you didn't have much time with them but they did gets lots of love during that time.   *hugs* to you. 

Jim and Rene, I bought a Bluetooth keyboard so I can respond easier to posts here.   I stopped coming around as much because I haven't even turned on my computer in two years.  My laptop maybe every three months.  I just got my first iPad a few months ago but I still want a keyboard. 

We did chemo for Nixon and it is a possibility that it is what killed his liver.  Dr. Loops, the holistic vet, told me when Nixon did his first consult with him that Nixon was going to die of liver failure and not cancer.  I didn't believe him.  

Chemo was so hard on Nixon and the fourth round took everything from him for three weeks.  Nixon was different though and never got stressed out about anything.  He loved going to the vet and seeing his fans.  He loved riding in the car.  He just loved to do things and meet new people except for the UPS driver.   He hated the brown truck. 

Allen was such an anxious boy that I decided that quality was going to be better than quantity but keeping him low stress, high on love, and me being able to live in the right now was going to do more for him the 4 to 6 rounds of chemo.  We did acupuncture every three weeks for two years and yet he still shook with fear every trip.   When I stripped him naked to get his needles, he mostly relaxed and would kiss the vet all over.  I think he would have gotten himself very sick with worry every time we traveled an hour each way to do chemo.   Nixon got to have chemo 10 minutes from the house and Dr Huff had given him his office any time he was in the building so he was always comfy and surrounded by people he liked.  If I have another dog that needs chemo, it will all depend on the personality. 

Allen's ashes are ready for pickup.  I am not quite ready to bring him home.  I also haven't been able to turn off his GPS tracker (a whistle).   It just is the last thing I have of our normal life together.  I will have to turn it off on September 30th, his gotcha day as it renews it's subscription for another  two years.  Thanks to the whistle, I know we walked about 3k miles together and we were together for 1360 days. 

Walton understood that Allen is gone.   He hasn't searched for him.  He was depressed for about a week.  He's lost two lbs.   He went and got acupuncture this past Monday and did pretty well.  

He isn't sure how he fits in right now.   I didn't realize that he was Allen's dog and so there are a lot of instances where it's like having a dog fresh off the track.   In the past 3 years, apparently he's never listened to a thing I've said. 

Allen and I would cuddle in the morning while I drank my coffee.  Walton insists I do this with him now.  I have no objections as he doesn't cuddle the same way so it is a new experience for both of us.  I'm letting him have another couple of weeks to settle in before I start obedience training with him.   I am also thinking about getting fluent pet for him.  Maybe.   

We may have found the cause of his limp.   It isn't the best news but it is good news.  He appears to have a corn on his right hind foot.   It just recently started to get defined edges.   I am moisturizing it to see if we can get it to have defined edges so it can be hulled.  I am not canceling his orthopedic surgeon visit though because it was so hard to get and a third set of eyes on him isn't a bad idea. 

We have been asked to considered a broken leg dog off the track.  I have no outright objections to this but my vet said something interesting to me.  Of all the people to take in a broken leg dog, I have the ability to do so and do it well.  But others may view my skill set as an obligation.  She is right.   I would rather take in another biter than another handicapped dog right now. 

So far Walton seems to be OK being an only dog.   We both work from home and he is only alone twice a week on a regular basis and most of that time is for 2 hours or less.  I go out more frequently than that but Rich rarely leaves the property.  Allen couldn't handle travel at all but Walton seems pretty good at it so we are going to have a sleepover at a friend's house next month. I'd love to take him car camping.  I cannot see us kayaking together but you never know.  Maybe we can learn to paddleboard together. 

The one thing I have learned after all of these good byes is to never be afraid of the tears that come afterwards.   The tears are still right up on the surface and I let them fall whenever they need to. 

Thank you for the love and support.  Its been 11 years now since Nixon and I showed up here. 

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2 August 2024 - 11:02 am
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Ingrid, when I think of people who are dog whisperers, you rise to the top of my list. I rarely meet people who can so intuitively understand the language of dogs, and work with their personalities to give them what they need in this world. Most of us need dog trainers so we can understand our dogs even a fraction as well as you seem to understand yours.

The steps of mourning are so different for everyone. Your keeping Allen's tracker on and turning it off on his gotcha day is so touching. It's one way to process what you are going through, and get through the coming days. It makes total sense. 

 I didn't realize that he was Allen's dog and so there are a lot of instances where it's like having a dog fresh off the track.   In the past 3 years, apparently he's never listened to a thing I've said. 

This is funny! I'm sure he was listening perfectly well, he's probably testing his boundaries right now to see exactly where he fits in. It's good that he's adjusting as well as he has been though. And in time you'll figure out what activities rock his world, just like you've always done before. It's early. You'll get there together. 

I don't blame you for not wanting to take in a physically challenged dog right now. That day may come in the future but right now, it's time to take care of you and Walton. Follow your instinct, it always works out.

Really glad you found the source of Walton's limp. WHEW and YAY! I do agree, keep the appointment. 

The one thing I have learned after all of these good byes is to never be afraid of the tears that come afterwards.   The tears are still right up on the surface and I let them fall whenever they need to. 

Just beautifully said! Yes!

I can't believe it's been eleven years since we met you and Nixon. Wow. We can't thank you enough for all of the energy and wisdom you have shared here, and hope you won't be a stranger. You are always a part of this community.

P.S. I am so envious that you don't turn on your computer nearly as much anymore! I'd like to get to that point someday as well. 

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