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Sometimes I am not okay_Sissy | Coping with Loss

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Sometimes I am not okay_Sissy
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Forum Posts: 7
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4 August 2018
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27 January 2019 - 9:32 pm
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So, I am slowly coming around to the idea of coping with Sissy’s unexpected death August 13. I will talk about her and include her in every day conversation so that we never forget her. My 7 year old will often draw pictures of Sissy and will talk about “spirit Sissy”. I sometimes think she does it to make me feel better. A friend of mine showed me a neat idea to remember Sissy. You take the food bowl and plant succulents in in. Wrap and secure the pup’s collar around the bowl. I would also like to find a wind chime and hang over spot she passed away. I am very bad when it comes to photos (even with family),but I want to start gathering photos of my dogs and get them out. I look at Sissy’s sister, Abby, and sometimes she looks like Sissy. They are both black labs and it was often hard to tell them apart without their color coded collars. Abby and Jake (Chocolate Lab) are what we have left. Abby is 10 or 11 or more and she seems to be doing great. I decided to take alcohol out of my life almost a month ago and I really feel that it is helping me figure out how to start coping with her death. I keep pushing thoughts of her out of my head until two nights ago. I was laying there and I became overwhelmed with her and how she died. My kids were sleeping and my husband has been in California for 5 weeks, so I felt completely alone. I couldn’t breathe and I said out loud “I am not okay”. I am still so scarred from losing her that I couldn’t imagine going through that again with my other dogs. I hate how much I have detached myself from Abby and Jake is increasingly frustrating me. I know things take time, but I also don’t want things to get to the point where it’s to late. I am working on this (in my head). Thank you for listening. 

The Rainbow Bridge



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27 January 2019 - 10:01 pm
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You take the food bowl and plant succulents in in. Wrap and secure the pup’s collar around the bowl. I would also like to find a wind chime and hang over spot she passed away. 

Wow what a beautiful idea! If you give it a try please do share photos, I would love to see it.

You are making more progress than you think, give yourself lots more credit, you deserve a big hug and congrats on that. It’s so normal to have waves of what feels like a setback at the time it happens, but it’s really just your brain and heart battling it out to reconcile all of the events and show you what a stronger person you are. You are doing this, you are! Getting the alcohol out sounds like it was what you needed to make this progress so a big around of applawse for that as well. 

Abby and Jake are there for you, just waiting patiently as dogs do. Love them up and soak up their joy, their enthusiasm for life, it can only have an increasingly pawsitive effect on yours as well.

So good to hear from you. You’re on the right track.

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Forum Posts: 2226
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29 January 2019 - 5:51 am
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I love that idea! My daughter in law is a succulent queen, lol…me not so much hahaha. 

It would probably be easier if i didn’t have cats that like to try and eat them every time i try way-confused

It is so nice to hear from you, jerry is so right, you need to give yourself more credit and start being less hard on yourself. Pushing everybody away is anger. Anger is part of the grieving process. The anger will fade eventually and you will find your way back to them. Have you tried mediation? I have an app called Calm. They have a beautiful free version. If you can try 1 week, just 10 min a day when you can find 10 minutes to yourself, see if it makes a difference. The woman that does it’s named is Tamara and it has really helped me a lot.

Hang in there girl, i can even see a difference, you can do this!

Hugs and love,

Jackie and Huck ❤️

Hugs,

Jackie, David, Mitchell, Bo, Andy, Oscar,and the coolest feral tripawd kitty Huckleberry

https://paws120.....pawds.com/



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29 January 2019 - 9:18 am
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Totally normal to feel not “Ok”.  It takes time and even years after your babies passing there will be days you miss them and fell sad or blue.  I know I still have a few days.  Not like I did but days of anniversaries always are tougher.  I think of Sassy with smiles now and not tears. 

Grief is so personal and not anyone can tell you when it will stop hurting. 

xoxox

Michelle & Angel Sassy

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Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013

05/04/2006 -  Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19  fought cancer for 4 months.

"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."

Virginia




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1 February 2019 - 11:54 am
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Thank you so much fir touching base with us.  It’s so important  to be surrounded  with people who understand  all the aspects of loving our dogs, and grieving  for them.

As others have noted, for whatever its worth, your feelings are all “normal” and a pattern we all understand.   No ,after jow oit sogs transition, those moments stay with us for a long time.  And just as you’ve already experienced,  they pop up in our minds when we least expect  it…and it sucks!!

Eventually,  as you’ve  seen on “good days”, the thousands of happy memories  stay in the forefront.  We have to retrain our brain muscle to go to those great memories and push the bad ones aside.  We do that because  we KNOW that’s  what our dogs want for is and because it validates  all that was good about our dogs and the life they shared with us❤

Fortunately  Abby and Jake have no clue that you are trying to “detach”..  They see anf feel your heart, not what’s  in your head.  And besides,  “detaching” is just a “grief game” your mind is doing to try and protect your heart.  Doesn’t  work.  You have too mich love in  your heart to try and deny that part of who you are.  You will love again and you will grieve again and you will love again…..yeah, love is the essence of who you are.  Sissy knows that, and Abby and Jake and your seven yr old know that.

And you are courageous  to love yourself enough to to become the person you were born to be.  The steps you are taking to become your best self are truly admirable. Continue  to push all the darkness out of your life that doesn’t  nurture you, and let your loving  light within  shine brightly  outwardly everyday.

And we would love to see some of those photos, as well as the lovely idea for Sissy’ s bowl.  And pictures of Jake and Abby too! 

Thank you again for your honesty and for connecting with us.   We are ALWAYS here for yoi… and WITH you❤❤❤

Hugs

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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