aeakers said
Sorry this is a little long. i tried to do justice for my girl.

Gertie grew up on a llama farm in Ohio. I don’t know a lot about this time in her life, but she was loved and very well cared for. I think she was primarily outside and especially so once another dog had puppies. My aunt has llamas and was buying several from the farm. She let me know about Gertie and shortly thereafter we went back to the farm to meet Gertie and the rest is history. Gertie was 3 when I adopted her and brought her back to Indiana. She is the first dog i have owned. 

Initially it was a big change and a little frustrating for both of us. Gertie was now more of an inside dog although we definitely spent a lot of time outside. I built a fence so she could be outside more. It was not long before we had met almost the entire neighborhood and I don’t think anyone met Gertie and didn’t fall in love with her. 

At some point i realized how perfect of a match Gertie was for me. It's hard to explain but we connected on a really deep level where just being together made everything else melt away. 

It wasn’t that long after I got her that the pandemic hit. And honestly I think this was almost all positive for Gertie. I was around so much, and even though i was working, she could spend so much time outside or come lay by me whenever she wanted. The only downside to the pandemic was that we didn’t get to do much traveling and sadly this is something we never really got to do.

Gertie had always had a limp and she never really just walked, it was something of a joke in the neighborhood that when we went on walks she would do a lot of lying down. One of the first things she would do when meeting people - and this was true for the first time I met her as well - is she would lay on her back and request a bellyrub. And once you started she would gently put her paw on your arm to keep you there. 

I had the limp looked at previously and they had suggested surgery might be an option. In February 2021 she started limping worse and after another doctor visit, we got an appointment for a surgery consult but they couldn’t get us in for many months. In September we got a call that there was an opening if we could come in the next few days. We did, and discovered that Gertie had torn CCL in both of her back legs. We had a TPLO done on the left leg that September.And decided to do the right leg the next spring.

On March 1st, I took Gertie in to have TPLO done on her right leg.After about a week, she had stopped getting better. We did a series of antibiotics but that did not help. In mid April, she had a joint lavage to try to get to the bottom of the infection. On April 28th I received the devastating news that she had an aggressive form of cancer called histiocytic sarcoma in that same right leg but it had also spread to her lymph nodes, liver, and lungs. We had her leg removed about a week later, and around 2 weeks after that we did our first round of chemo.

At the followup appointment on June 3rd where we had planned to do another round of chemo, we were informed that her bloodwork had came back pretty negatively and they would not do chemo. I should convert her treatment to more of a hospice approach.Obviously this is not what I wanted to hear. I sought out some alternative treatments and took extra time off work to spend with Gertie. I was determined to do everything i could for as long as I could. But on June 21st, Gertie passed away.

i don't know if this is common but i still can almost feel her presence and it is comforting. i have gotten a lot of support from family and friends but i don't know if I'll ever get over this.

if you would like to see a lot of pictures of Gertie here's my Instagram.... i hope that's ok to post. https://www.ins.....m/aeakers/

  

She had a wonderful family life with you, what a gift for her.

I too have had many 'presence' experiences with my dogs that had passed or were very ill while I was travelling. I believe we are connected because the Rainbow Bridge is life and spirit through God.

Many years ago, I was travelling while my parents cared for my puppy girl Gemma, and one night I felt her walking on my bed. I turned on the light and saw paw prints in the pattern she always made when snuggling in. It turned out she was critically ill with a pancreatic attack and a paralysis tick at that point in time. My parents did not want to tell me in case I got too upset and came home unnecessarily. Apparently my little Gemma decided to tell me in her own way. I did "talk" to her that night. She got to live a long life!

It takes time for us to heal. When my dog Bernie reached the end of relief from pain meds and had enough, I held him as my vet put him to sleep. He visited me for a long, long time. I think he was caring for me from over the rainbow bridge because in reality he was finally pain free but loved his mama and had to keep comforting her. Man's best friend is for always.