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Coping with loss.....still.....
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On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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11 June 2009 - 10:13 am
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OKim1 said:

 In his own way he was telling me Mom, ” I want you to be happy, and having a dog in my life is part of this”.

This is part of the wonder of my beloved Buster. Because of  him, I will continue to love like I will never get hurt, because that is what he would of wanted.


Very well said Kim, thank you.

I've been pouring over everyone's posts, and my eyes are getting watery. For me, this thread has great timing. This week I've been missing Jerry more than usual, so I really appreciate everyone's heartfelt advice here. Thank you so much.

A couple of weeks ago we met a Tripawd who has survived with osteosarcoma for going on three years now. She's had part of her lung removed due to mets, but continues to thrive and do well. After I met her, I couldn't help feeling those "what if's"...".what if we had battled Jerry's cancer more aggressively, would he still be here?" I didn't want to beat myself up like that, but I did, and it didn't feel good. After a while, out of respect for our teacher Jerry, I pushed those feelings aside and tried to get on with life.

Eight months later, I am still grieving Jerry's loss, and although there are times when I would give anything to have another tripawd fur baby in our life, I know we aren't ready. We made a promise to Jerry that we would find him his land, the place where we know he would love, and until we have that sense of closure, we feel that it wouldn't be fair to bring another pup into our lives. We want to be able to devote all of our energies to a new pup. Meanwhile though, people do ask us when we will get another. When the time is right, we say.

For now, I can't thank you all enough for your wisdom and offering a shoulder to lean on. We don't know what we would have done without everyone here.

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
Member Since:
28 November 2008
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13 June 2009 - 9:33 am
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You guys are awesome.  I read each post and tears slid down my cheeks.  These creatures give us such love and joy, and the pain of loosing them is so very real.  There is no specified way or timeline for dealing with grief.  Everyone must do so in their own way at their own pace.  I, too believe we chosen to be blessed with a tripawd.  With the blessing comes the knowledge that pain will follow.  That is why we are taught during the process to live one day at a time.

I hesitated to share this, but we have been on a journey the last several days.  An internet friend of ours had brain cancer and finally lost her battle.  She had a four year old pitbull she had to kennel when she became to ill to care for him.  I knew Angie would never want Duke to live the remainder of his life in a kennel, so we went to get him this week.  I believe he was brought into my life for a reason, maybe just as a good deed, maybe because Troule won't be with me forever.  The reason will reveal itself in time.

Bless you all for having the courage to post what you feel for each of us to learn from.  Hugs to all of you.

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

Livermore CA
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13 June 2009 - 12:26 pm
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I didn't have anything to add earlier, but I'd like to share the story of how Cemil came to me, in the category of getting another dog.  My first Anatolian shepherd, Zeki, was probably the first being I've ever completely trusted.  Also, he made me feel safe.  When you live alone and hear a noise in the night, it feels good to have a big protective dog at your side.  Zeki was 7 years old and in excellent health when he died of bloat during the day when I was at work.  I arrived home at 7 pm to a dead dog.  I was devastated.  The hole in my life was huge.  After a little time, I talked to the rescue people about getting another Anatolian, just to fill in the void a little, not to replace Zeki, but there was not a good fit.  So I went to the breeder he came from to see if there were any puppies on the horizon, and there were.  The mother of them was the daughter of Zeki's mother, so they're related.  When the pups came, they were all spoken for, but one guy didn't come through with his deposit, so I got his spot. Then, I had to take a male when I really wanted a female.  The breeder picked Cemil for me and I named him that because it's a Turkish name that means a "good gift".  Like a gift you give someone when you just want to do something nice for them.  Also, he was born just a few days after my dad died from lung cancer and gave me some puppy moments when I didn't think about that.  He has been a true blessing to my life.  Spirit Zeki is still around, watching over me from the spirit realm and, I suspect, mentoring Cemil.  I don't understand this new development, but I do understand that dogs that have to move on send other dogs to us so our life will include a dog.  When you add another being to your life, it just makes your heart bigger, to accomodate more love.  The other one still has his place.

It's so hard when they have to go.  Cemil's time will come too, and when the blackness of it lightens slightly to gray, I'll be watching to see who he sends.  Seanne, your story about Wrigley and Willow really bolstered my belief in this system. Thank you.

Cemil and mom Mary, Mujde and Radzi….appreciating and enjoying Today

Cemil's blog

MI
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16 June 2009 - 9:39 am
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This post has been very good for me to read. Great ideas.  One thing that helped me face the loss of Dexter was to make a slideshow/DVD consisting of every picture and video that we had of her from 7 wks. old when we rescued her up until the day she was put to rest.  I've set some good music to it as well to really capure the pictures.  It was a very, very difficult process to create this; I cried my eyes out (still can't watch it without crying Cry) but it has helped me remember the good/fun times with her as well.  Very cathartic indeed.

Sherri

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16 June 2009 - 1:26 pm
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Dextersmom said:

This post has been very good for me to read. Great ideas.  One thing that helped me face the loss of Dexter was to make a slideshow/DVD consisting of every picture and video that we had of her ...


I'm so glad these posts help. Just goes to prove that saying goodbye doesn't have to be all about being sad.

I've made over 130 movies of Jerry, and now many other tripawds since his passing. But I have yet been able to attempt a tribute compilation video. I can't agree with you more about it being very therapeutic. But something has been keeping me from getting started. Thanks for the reminder, it is long overdue.

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

Member Since:
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17 June 2009 - 12:39 pm
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Thank you all so much for taking the time to read and reply....reading these posts has been a help and a comfort... reminding me I am not the only one enduring this loss.  The bond we shared with our amazing tripawds is one that will continue on even after they are gone.  I was blessed to have Jack join me on this journey of life if only for a short time.  The lessons learned from him will never be forgotten.

All we can do is take a day at a time.  And how lucky all of us our to have had a tripawd in our lives!!

On The Road


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17 June 2009 - 1:27 pm
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Amen.

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

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18 June 2009 - 5:54 am
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Amen indeed.

Paula and Spirit Max

My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
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18 June 2009 - 7:10 pm
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jacksmom said:

All we can do is take a day at a time.  And how lucky all of us our to have had a tripawd in our lives!!


I couldn't agree more.  What a blessing we have been given, but boy does it come wrapped in a scary box!

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

West Chester PA
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1 July 2009 - 12:33 pm
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Wow, I just read the entire thread again.  I read it earlier before I lost Bonnie but needed it again.  IT REALLY HELPS!   Thank you all for all of your input.  Hopefully in the next few weeks or months I can add more.  I am still looking for an hour without crying.  I think the journal will help.  I have already printed out all of Bonnie's thread and put it in a notebook.   Reading it again really helped.  The ups and the downs.  You guys are lifesavers and although the bond we share is not one we ever wanted, I am grateful to have someone to share it with. 

chris-bonnie

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1 July 2009 - 8:40 pm
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And we are grateful to have you here too Chris!

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
Member Since:
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2 July 2009 - 2:34 am
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chris-bonnie said:

Wow, I just read the entire thread again.  I read it earlier before I lost Bonnie but needed it again.  IT REALLY HELPS!   Thank you all for all of your input.  Hopefully in the next few weeks or months I can add more.  I am still looking for an hour without crying.  I think the journal will help.  I have already printed out all of Bonnie's thread and put it in a notebook.   Reading it again really helped.  The ups and the downs.  You guys are lifesavers and although the bond we share is not one we ever wanted, I am grateful to have someone to share it with. 


One of the things on my list to do list is to make a scrapbook of notes, e-mail, and postings from start to finish of Trouble's journey.  I had someone tell me that was sad and morbid, but I couldn't have made it to where we are today without the support I've had, and I can only see that helping me when the journey ends.  I think you're on the right track to healing, with spirit Bonnie leading the way.

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

West Chester PA
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2 July 2009 - 5:39 am
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I honestly don't think there is anyone other than the people here that have dealt with it that can even begin to understand.   Sad and morbid - believe me, there is no definition for how we feel and what we do.  I really do not care who thinks what, and believe me, I will hear it later I am sure.   Right now, all my friends, family, associates, anyone who knows me, knows that I am grieving like never before.  And they also know not to try to tell me to cut it short or that it is "just a dog".  I let everyone know before it happened that they had better understand or stay away.  The notebook is growing daily.  I have so, so, so many pictures.  It hurts, but it heals.  Kind of like putting peroxide on a cut I guess.   It all takes time and right now, time is all I have, not Bonnie.   Her spirit lives in every movement I make, my every thought, my entire live though.

chris-bonnie

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