Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I updated her blog here: http://mom2shel.....-an-angel/ which I really think says all that I can say and feel.
I woke up this morning feeling sick to my stomach but pushed myself to go run. It's not like a birthday but today is definitely a day when things feel different ... I don't know if 'celebration' is the right word but it is definitely a day to honor Shelby and the love she brought and still brings to my life. I cannot believe she's been gone an entire year. I just miss her so much. Just when I thought I was healing, I get this punched in my gut feeling... I want to curl up and cry for hours on end. Maybe I cried in my sleep (my eyes are all red this a.m.).
I just miss her. That's all. I am out of words. I am out of descriptions. It is a dull and raw pain.
And yet I try and remember she sent me little Jasper Lily ... a gift (as Lori said)... I need to work on loving that gift more and accepting her fully into my life before it is too late and we have wasted time.
So to honor Shelby ... I aspire again to Be More Dog ! Live in the moment. Be thankful for what I have.
Ironically, little Jasper curled up on my lap last night ... like Shelby used to do. No reason. Jasper isn't always that cuddly at night until bed but she layed in my arms ALL night. It's like Shelby sent her there and said, cuddle w/your mama....she needs it tonight.
I gave myself a year to mourn. I needed to do that to embrace all the emotions that came with that. Grief is so funny... just when you think it is better, it kicks you back on your A$$.
Thank you Tripawds family ... for being here for me - always and forever!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Your blog tribute a d photos...just beautiful.
You always pay tribute so perfectly. You articulate words from your heart with such genuineness.
Shelby Lynne...we love you and your mom too! Thank you for sending her Jasper Lily! Jasper knew she needed to earn her llve...you told her it would be difficult but you knew she could handle it! Great move getting Jasper to cuddle in jer lap last night! Yoj are one smart pup!
Sending love!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Alison,
I think my best words to you are on your facebook post on Shelby.....but we know what you are feeling every single day since this crappy journey started. And yeah, I know what you mean about the "ass-kicking" thing, just when you think you have gotten past that.....I had a big one yesterday regarding Polly. But, I also know, that I have definitely felt different after a years time.....while I still grieve Polly, and always will, my ability to enjoy my life again is coming back to me. I NEVER thought I would feel that way again, but I have, and I like to think of it as a new beginning, and just letting go of all the intense heartache. My Polly will always be a huge part of who I am as a person, and she will always be with me, therefore I am allowing myself to go on with a bit more happiness in my life. I am hoping the same for you.
Thinking of you,
Much Love,
Bonnie, Angel Polly, and new crew
Loved the blog post, I've been thinking of you all day. <3
Harmony became a Tripawd on 10/21/14 (MCT). She left us way too soon on 11/1/14.
"We miss you so much; our love, our heart, our Harmony."
- Pam, Ron and Melody, Meesha, Doublestuff and Mariah Carey
THank you ALL for your comments here, on her blog and on my FB page (Bonnie) ... It means a lot to me. I feel, actually, a sense of peace. Like I have been through the whole year and I am still here. It is very interesting for me to explore and feel these emotions and then write them down (thank you Tripawds for the forum to do so). I have definitely started to feel more joy and laugh and smile more.
I have started to live again when I didn't think I would ... or could ... that mysterious 'closure' thing I talk about ... maybe that is what I am feeling... or a release or something. I don't know yet but I do know that I am feeling significant peace today and my life feels like I can and will go on.
I miss her , obviously , but I can see clearly the gifts she has and continues to bestow on me. Thank you all!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
You put your feelings into words so eloquently, Alison. I felt every word your wrote because, like a lot of us, I've been there and am still there. As I'm finding out, there is no time limit on grieving. You're moving forward with help from Shelby Lynne and the Tripawd family.
It was very touching to read Jasper Lily curled up with you. It most certainly IS a sign!
You are in my thoughts and I'm sending you lots of hugs.
Love,
Amy & Spirit Libby
Liberty (Libby) was diagnosed with OSA on 1-22-13. Right front amputation on 1-31-13. No IV Chemo. Metronomic Therapy started 2-19-13 along with supplements and some home cooking. Lungs clear until 1-06-14. She's still her happy, hoppy, bossy self. Living the dog life to the fullest and a proud Winter Warrior. :) RIP my Libby 4-21-03 to 3-19-14
Oh Alison, I remember that day so well, and was thinking about you yesterday as I was flying into California (Im here on a business trip). I was in the sky telling Shelby to give you strength to wear your tiara and have a great night on the town because we all know how difficult that 1 year mark is. Your tribute to her is beautiful. Please know we are all here for you and surround you with all of our love.
HUGS
Mom to Tripawd Angels Jake (2001-2014) and Rosco (2012-2015) and Tripawd Tanner. “Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it”
You know ... yesterday was a mixture of peace, of feeling serene, feelings of calmness ... not what I expected. No epic tears. No meltdowns. Not to say those won't still come but I feel 'calm' (for lack of a better word). I feel empowered. I made it a WHOLE year without the love of my life by my side and I survived.
Ok.. maybe I feel like a 'survivor'... my own kind of warrior (I know that sounds lame). But I feel like if I can move forward after that kind of intense pain and open my heart to love again, then yeah, I am going to be OK.
On my drive into work this a.m., I was thinking how I would like , at some point, like to change my FB profile photo to one of me and Jasper and how hard that is/will be but then again, Shelby would want me to... she would want me to really embrace this life and find all the happiness in the world that I can with little JL. And she and I do take super cute photos ... 
Not nearly as cute as me and Shelbers but you know.
So growth... this little grasshopper is growing up! Thank you Tripawds community!XOXO
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Alison,
You have a gift with relating your feelings through words!! You are a survivor! It's hard to come back from a great loss and open your heart again and you DID IT!!! You and Jasper are so good for each other. And yeah...Shelby definitely made sure Jasper gave you more cuddly time because you needed it. I'm glad you've been able to find some calm and peace in your heart...Shelby would want that for you.
Hugs
Sahana and her Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
Awww Alison, you did it. You ARE stronger and a survivor, and you are using those gifts that Shelby left you to the highest and greatest good. You're using them each and every day, each time you open your heart to Jasper and each time you take another step toward more gratitude for Shelby being in your life, instead of feeling just sadness. I'm so glad to see that you are feeling good. 3-paws up to you lady! xoxo
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
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