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Bernie bin Laden
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Las Vegas, Nevada
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30 June 2010 - 11:31 pm
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I’m reposting this in the “Anything Goes” since some east coasters and northern folks may not have looked into the topic with the Pawty in Mill Valley, California.   I didn’t peek in for while since I can’t go to the  pawty.

But Maxidad wrote this hysterical post on Bernie bid Laden! 

 

(Setup – Bernie is Maxidad’s new puppy.  Linda is their sweet lab. Bernie is going to the Mill Valley pawty)

 

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Bernie is looking forward to it – see for yourself.

 Stretchy BernieImage Enlarger

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Actually, as I look at the photo, that’s truer than I realized at first.  Based on the Newport Harbor shoreline in the background and the direction Bernie is looking, he was staring upcoast in the direction of Mill Valley at the moment this picture was taken.

As for Linda, she just wants to go to Mill Valley so all your dogs will distract Bernie for a while.  That way he’ll leave her alone and she can play with her ball, which is all she ever wants to do in the first place.

  

Bernie annoys LindaImage Enlarger

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And fair warning, Mary – Bernie is going to go completely mental when he meets Cemil.  We have no idea why, but he’s absolutely obsessed with big dogs like mastiffs or great danes.  No matter what he’s doing at the time, as soon as he sees Cemil Bernie will drop everything and tear straight over to him, desperate to make friends.  Fortunately, Cemil is a good-natured dog who hopefully won’t mind a hyper puppy squirming around his legs and jumping up to lick his face. 

This is all assuming, of course, that Bernie lives long enough to come visit in the first place.  Last month the danger was from him eating things he shouldn’t; this month the danger is me trying to restrain myself from committing puppycide.  A couple of weeks ago, I got rid of my old Chevy Trailblazer and bought a new 2011 Honda Pilot.  Great SUV – plenty of internal space and headroom for someone my height, and a very spacious rear cargo area for the mutts.  The dealer even threw in the tough rubber cargo mat for when the dogs are wet, shedding, or filthy (and our dogs are usually one or more of those things).  There’s even a third row of seats folded under the cargo area, on the off chance we’d ever have enough people in the truck to need it.

So I drove the truck off the lot just after noon on Saturday about two weeks ago.  My wife and I decided to load the dogs up and show the truck to my parents at their house in Newport Beach, which is about a fifteen minute drive from where we live.  On the way there, we even commented on how good Bernie was being as we drove.  He was nice and quiet, and we figured he was just sitting there quietly and behaving himself for once.

That was a really stupid assumption.

Here’s a photo of Bernie bin Laden after he managed to devalue my new truck only three hours after I drove it off the lot.

 

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The real pisser here is that it’s not easy to mangle a seatbelt like that.  I’ve been a cop for a long time, and I’ve had to cut through seatbelts in order to get people out of wrecked cars. Seatbelts are purposely made tough – you have to buy a knife serrated in a certain way in order to cut through them at all.  In retrospect, I should have saved money on the knife and just carried around a pocketful of puppy teeth instead.

Only a vague hope that the little demon-seed might someday be socially acceptable keeps me from murdering him.  No jury would convict me…  

Her Retired AvatarComet - 1999 to 2011

She departed us unexpectedly  January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.

She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.

My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
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1 July 2010 - 2:47 am
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Oh, the joys of puppyhood!  I’m sorry, but I laughed and laughed when I saw that picture.  He looks so innocent!  Are you sure it wasn’t Linda who ate through the seatbelt?  And looks at the bright side – it could have been the headrest.winker

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

knoxville, tn
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1 July 2010 - 4:58 am
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you made my day!!!!!  i could see the same ‘seat belt’ event happening to my husband…and i laughed all over again (he really likes to take care of his car)…  the puppy faze does pass, and you will eventually miss it (kinda).  bernie is a true gem, hopefully he’ll start appreciating linda’s tolerance, and learn his place in the pack.  maybe you need to write a ‘life with bernie’ book…

charon & gayle

Life is good, so very, very good!!! Gayle enjoyed each and every moment of each and every wonderful day (naps included).  She left this world December 12, 2011 – off on a new adventure.

Love Never Ends

http://etgayle

Here and Now


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1 July 2010 - 9:31 am
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Too funny… good thing we won’t be getting Wyatt the Terrible and Bernie Bin Laden together anytime soon!

Las Vegas, Nevada
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1 July 2010 - 2:33 pm
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I find this hystercal coming from a police officer!

“…committing puppycide.” 

 

 

Her Retired AvatarComet - 1999 to 2011

She departed us unexpectedly  January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.

She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.

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1 July 2010 - 2:41 pm
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All of Mill Valley knows Bernie’s coming to town. We are installing stadium style seating at the dog park and charging admission!

I think $50 a head ought to about cover it!wink

Los Angeles
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1 July 2010 - 8:43 pm
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LOL – Oh Bernie bin Laden is too cute for words! He looks so sweet and innocent….NOT (apparently). Looks like another Marley and Me in the making….Have fun at the pawty Bernie bin Laden!  cool

Kami (Mackenzie & Kobe’s Mom)

My sweet golden Mackenzie.  She became my angel on Dec 29, 2010 at the age of 8 1/2  although she was always my angel from the time we brought her home.  She was diagnosed with osteosarcoma in Sept 2009 and officially became a tripawd (front leg) on Nov 5, 2009.  She will be forever in my heart and now she's running free with all of our other tripawd heroes.  I love you Mackenzie!

Edmonton, Alberta
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2 July 2010 - 8:59 am
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Bernie is too cute by half. LOL!! That was some work he did on the seal belt!

Catie -

Birthday – November 4 2003

Amputation – January 13 2010

Crossed the Bridge – June 2 2011

 Catie Caitlin 

The Rainbow Bridge



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2 July 2010 - 10:43 am
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Thanks Comet, I hadn’t seen this. Looks like the demon spawn will give Wyatt Ray a run for the money!

Ah, puppies.

You listening, Diane?

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
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Orange County, CA
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2 July 2010 - 4:57 pm
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I hear you loud and clear, Rene!  It had been 9 years since we had a puppy (Max was our last), and we said to ourselves, “How hard can it be, we’ve done it before!”  Famous last words…Start mentally preparing Wyatt Ray now, maybe that way he’ll be ready for Bernie by the time he gets out to the OC again!!

Wesley Chapel, FL
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2 July 2010 - 9:59 pm
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Hey Maximutt’s dad,

Congratulations on your new crazy (but adorable) puppy Bernie!superstar I hope you don’t have nice furniture in your home… the seatbelt might have just been a preview on what’s to come!!laughing

Angel Jake and Wolfie’s Mom

Jake, 10yr old golden retriever (fractured his front right leg on 9/1, bone biopsy revealed osteosarcoma on 9/10, amputation on 9/17) and his family Marguerite, Jacques and Wolfie, 5yr old german shepherd and the newest addition to the family, Nala, a 7mth old Bengal mix kittie. Jake lost his battle on 11/9/2009, almost 8 weeks after his surgery. We will never forget our sweet golden angel… http://jakesjou.....ipawds.com ….. CANCER SUCKS!

Orange County, CA
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2 July 2010 - 11:56 pm
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Here’s another preview of what to expect at Mill Valley.  Bernie has recently come up with a groundbreaking new solution to the problem of how to stop suddenly when running at full speed.  Instead of wasting valuable energy applying the brakes himself in order to slow down from his normal running speed of seven hundred miles per hour, he has discovered that you can also bring yourself to a sudden halt simply by slamming broadside into another dog (preferably Linda).  He doesn’t seem bothered by the fact that this usually flips him completely over and knocks the other dog (usually Linda) flat on their ass.  It looks a lot like a high-speed broadside vehicle collision.  And if he hits her any harder, we’ll probably need the Jaws of Life to separate them.  Bernie seems to enjoy this method of slowing down.  Linda seems less enthusiastic.

 High speed TCImage Enlarger

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I’ll leave you with another one of Bernie’s patented nitwit antics.  He likes to get in on Linda’s game of chasing the ball, which at first glance doesn’t seem unusual.  After all, lots of dogs like to catch balls.  But in keeping with Bernie’s policy of nonstop havoc combined with a complete lack of conscious thought, he hasn’t bothered to master concepts like aim or coordination.  As long as the ball is in the general area, he tries to catch it by taking a flying leap as high into the air as he can.  The problem is, he usually doesn’t get anywhere near it.  My wife described it as always managing to be exactly where the ball isn’t.

On July 10, enter Mill Valley at your own risk.  I’m pretty sure that just watching him in action is enough to make you lose IQ points.  See for yourself…

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My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
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3 July 2010 - 4:19 am
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While the pics are funny and had me laughing out loud, do you think maybe he has a vision problem?

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

Orange County, CA
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3 July 2010 - 8:01 am
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No, because he sees laser-clear on everything else, like when he chomps on food, balls rolled along the ground to fetch, or Linda’s neck.  He never misses those.  I think he’s just dopey.

Arizona
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3 July 2010 - 8:28 am
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 He is so cute and his pictures chasing the ball had me laughing out loud. One day he will probably slow down and catch that ball.  That’s a dog that looks like he is just loving life to the fullest!  big-grin

 

 Jo Ann & Tasha

Tasha 8 years old, First cancer diagnosis 6/26/09, Last cancer diagnosis 9/26/09, Amputation 10/01/09, Loving our girl moment by moment.

Tasha lost her battle and became my Angel on May 4 2011. Forever in my heart….

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