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For ‘old man’ Emerson … this is probably as frisky as it gets. LOL!!
Of course, this was at the tail-end of him chasing the puppy around the coffee table… so he was a-bit winded at the end. This was one of his brighter/happier moments this weekend.
Still having a bit of fun. =)
… all of the subtleties are probably imperceptible by normal people who aren’t obsessing over every breath he takes.
18 May 2014
I thought he looked happy and playful….and having a senior terrier with his own health problems, I can say, happy and playful are wonderful! Easier said than done, but try to focus on this, and not what you “perceive”. He is truly being more dog! Hugs!
Paula and Warrior Angel Nitro
Nitro 11 1/2 yr old Doberman; right front amp June 2014. Had 6 doses carboplatin, followed by metronomic therapy. Rocked it on 3 legs for over 3 years! My Warrior beat cancer, but couldn't beat old age. He crossed the Bridge peacefully on July 25, 2017, with dignity and on his terms. Follow his blog entitled "Doberman's journey"
"Be good, mama loves you".....run free my beautiful Warrior
Thank goodness.. and good thing you posted You are NOT alone! You have in your company probably the biggest worry wart club that I know of right here. We all criticize, fret, frustrate, and await darkness at some point.
Your post proves that you still have a vibrant happy pup that just kept up with a (4month old?) puppy and had a blast. Breathe ma… Emerson looks PAWSOME!!
Sending many hugs,
Kim, I’m sorry for all the sadness and heartache among your family right now. My condolences to all of you, what a tragic loss. And it’s no wonder you feel so worried about Emerson, I can’t blame you.
But, yep, I see a happy dog in that video too. And although it’s sooo hard to carry the burden of knowing that he has an illness, it’s also good to try to remember that he isn’t thinking about anything but right here, right now, and playing with his new buddy. We as humans all benefit from that example no matter the circumstances we are facing. Sometimes it’s much harder than others and this is one of those times for you.
I hope that writing it down helped you feel a little bit better right now. Stay strong my friend. Emerson needs you. ((((hugs))))
22 February 2013
Kim, just went to ditto the spot on input from Jackie, Paula and Jerry.
On top of everything else, you are physically and emotionally exhausted. You have been through some rough times. Things always appear to be a little worse than they actually are when we are so emotionally and spiritually drained. It really appears that that may be the case here. Regardless, even if, and that is a big if, Emerson does have some issue going on, it clearly is not affecting his quality in any way shape or form!
Now go give that sweet sweet pup a big hug for us in a couple of extra treats, and maybe give yourself a scoop of ice cream too.
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thanks again for all of your responses and positivity.
I’m soo exhausted from traveling and worrying. Mom says that Emerson is completely fine…. and we go to the Oncologist next Tuesday. I’m hopeful that his lymph nodes will still be normal by the time I get home and that treatment will cause the minor symptoms I’m seeing to diminish. But, I’ll talk to the vet about all of this … just hoping that the nodes feel normal on Friday.
I head home super-early on Friday for the funeral for Jamie’s mom. UGH!!!! I have never felt soo conflicted over a death before. I am trying my hardest to honor her life. But, GAWD… I’m exhausted and struggling… and angry … and bitter.
… I have a day and a half to get myself together.
I hope all of *you* are having a much better week….
Kim, I’m so glad your mom was able to calm your worries. Remember, worrying is just creating problems where there are none at the moment, so try to put these thoughts out of your head for now. You’ve got far too much going on to fill your head.
I know you will find a way to be there for Jamie during this hard time, which is all you can really do. It’s a tough situation but you are up for the job.
Much love coming your way.
Made it home to Connecticut… the guys look great. But, I don’t think Emerson’s lymph nodes feel quite right.
With that said, we’ve had a bit of family over because of the funeral and EVERYONE remarked about how good and normal he looked. He was crawling all over me to have some of my dinner…. he ate some carrots (I was eating them = they must be tasty!!). He also brought people presents as they came into the house (ie. he brings a shoe or toy to greets people as they walked in). All really normal stuff for Emerson. I didn’t share that fact that he’s relapsing and no one had a clue, whatsoever.
I am taking this relapse in stride, we go to the oncologist on Tuesday. And I am weirdly at peace… and suspect that I’ll need to make some tough decisions. But for now, he’s enjoying family and extra pets/snuggles/love. And giving away entirely too many doggy kisses this weekend!! (LOL!! Most of my family doesn’t like dogs… so it’s funny that he loves certain people so much!)
Also… the funeral was the saddest and most moving funerals that I have ever attended. All of her closest friends also struggle with addiction and they talked about how each of them wanted to and tried to do better… but all felt devastated that she ran out of time. And there was a preacher that was really able to capture the right words to help me reframe how I was thinking about everything.
I really needed to hear those words.
Amen Kim! Your inner peace it’s telling you that it will come at some time… But that time is not now.
We all go through it at some point. But everything you are saying speaks totally positive volumes! Sending you hugs and wishes for a good recheck appointment 💖
Again, i am so very sorry for your loss. I’m glad the preacher was able to speak to you and calm you so deeply. I recently went to a wake (last week) where a co worker lost their son to over dose… It just totally sucks for those left behind.
Sending you positive thoughts and hopes for a healthy season to come for you and Emerson. Hang in there, you are doing a great job!!
Emerson sure is an angel with paws, right when everyone needed some unconditional love. How terrific he was there to lighten the load you, your friends and family are carrying. And just like the others, Emerson doesn’t have a clue either and that’s a good thing. Like all animals he embodies the spirit of living in the Now.
I’m glad you were able to be there. We are sending our best for a good oncology visit on Tuesday. Let us know how it goes.
Dear Family (… yes, you’re family now. Sorry! We all need 1 more crazy cousin. I am her!!!)
Today was not an easy day. I loaded up my car at 4 am to travel to New Hampshire (2.75hrs), then drove to the border of ME (2hrs round trip) and then off to the vet (1hour round trip). I am BEAT!
When I loaded up this morning I sedated Emerson and he’s STILL asleep 14 hour later. We went to the vet a few hours ago and he stumbled into the office completely not himself. And they were super concerned. I told them that he hasn’t been acting like himself, although it’s pretty subtle …. and told them that he was stumbling around because of the sleepy drugs I gave him. They were still concerned and ran a battery of tests. The results: Everything looks perfect.
The doctor agreed that he is relapsing and then talked about the next steps:
1. Elspar + Prednisone – These chemo drugs have effectively pushed him back into remission on their own … twice. The doctor says that I can bring him in for treatment and monitor his nodes at home… and bring him back as necessary. The only reason why this is an option is that he has always responded to this combination….. it’s about $700/dose if I decide to repeat.
2: MOPP Protocol – He estimates a 25% response rate, but it probably wouldn’t be durable. This would be $400/3weeks…
3: Tanovea – Brand new drug, 75% response rate… also will not be very durable. However, it’s cost prohibitive at this point for me $800/dose (monthly)
So… I have a lot to think about but. I decided to do 1 more round of #1 …. and perhaps will plan to just take care of him for as long as I can afterward. Unfortunately, we weren’t able to do the Elspar today (the doctor defrosted the vial and said that it didn’t look quite right… and asked me to go to their other office tomorrow.)
… suffice it to say, it was a long, sad and emotional drive back home. And, I haven’t told anyone else yet.
I guess I knew that this day would come, but I guess there is no way to be ready for it. But, here we are.
Geez you must be exhausted. I’m sorry. But I’m confused. If the tests look perfect, how is it that he may be relapsing?
This is such a tough place to be, none of are ever prepared to run out of options but it does sound like you’re leaning toward #1? If so, then heck he responded before, he could very well this time! When was his last dose?
Wow… Long, long day. And to add to that still having to go back for meds, dang.
Everything came back perfect yet they still suspect a relapse?! I’m not sure i totally understand unless his lymphs are up again.
Poor dopey baby boy, is there a chance this was part of his prognosis? On the other hand a dopey calm boy is better than a stressed out X how many hours of driving??
Going with your gut is good. This treatment seems to have helped him out a lot. And keeping him comfortable after that is totally understandable.
Emerson seems like a heck of a fighter. And you taking this as it comes is huge. He may very well have a good long time left with you mama, don’t forget that. And we are all family here, no matter what. You can be the crazy cousin and I’ll be the red headed step child 🤣🤣 (i hope you got a good laugh at that!!)
You guys must be totally exhausted. Just listening to your day sounds like it was so grueling.
Sending you hugs, you need a break. I’m glad all the tests they did on Emerson came out looking good. One step at a time, and you are really doing a fantastic job ❤️
My thoughts are with you and i hope that Emerson keeps kicking butt!!!
Jackie and Huckster ❤️
sorry… I should have been more clear. Blood work and organ chemistries…. all look good.
His lymph nodes are about peanut sized today… they were barely detectable last Monday (7 days ago), almost-pea sized on Friday and…. about peanut sized today (Tuesday). Only the nodes in his neck… the others are undetectable….
His last dose of #1 was 8 weeks ago. and he went from a few peanut sized nodes to undetectable nodes in less than 24 hours. Fingers crossed…. And, per Rene’s recommendation, I actually was able to find a clinical study that I suspect Emerson would qualify for using Tanovea … of course, it’s a double-blinded efficacy study. So, it’s a 50/50 shot that he receives placebo (ie. no drug). I printed the info and will take it with me to the vet tomorrow. The study is based in Norwalk, CT which is an hour south of where my mom lives. Logistically challenging, but doable with planning.
Ok, gotcha. Kind of where my head went. Sounds like you’re catching it head on, you totally rawk Kim!!!💜💛🧡💚
Please get some rest, hopefully Emerson will continue to rest through the evening, although i wonder….🤯🤯
Big hugs, you got this… all over it cousin ❤️