Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Good morning all,
I have a huge prospective situation, and would love for anyone and/or everyone here to give their opinion/view to help me make a decision on something.......My Lab breeder called me this morning out of the blue.....I honestly thought she was calling me because she had a yellow Lab girl pup that was not spoken for from a recent litter born several weeks ago. However, she has a little black girl from one of her 2 litters that was just diagnosed with Tricuspid Valve Dysplasia, which in layman terms, is a severe, incurable heart defect......it can be prevalent in Labs. This little girl was just getting ready to go to her new forever home, but on her final vet visit with my breeder Linda, this condition was discovered and tests revealed the severity of the defect, hence, she cannot go to her new intended home. For some reason, she and her partner thought of me, even knowing what I have gone through with Polly this past year, they thought of me first to take this little girl and give her the happiest life possible until she dies, which could be anywhere from 3 months to 3-4 years....most likely closer to the 3 month to 1 year mark realistically. (They were VERY apprehensive to call me, but for some reason, they still wanted to call me first) I have to also add, that this morning before I got the call from Linda, when I went to pick up my daycare pup Fritz at his home, I found a dime on the floor in front of his kennel......(dimes, not pennies was always my Polly and my good luck thing) When I got home and got the call from Linda, I finished talking with her and got on my iPad to post this, and when clicking into this Alumni forum, although there was already a banner of Nesta showing up, my Polly's banner flashed on here for about a second and disappeared.....I can't help but think that these are signs of some kind, but the heartbreak part of all of this is this black Lab girl pup obviously does not have long to live.....part of me wants to take this little, sweet pup and spoil her rotten with anything and everything, and part of me doesn't know if I can handle another heartbreak so soon after losing Polly, it hasn't even been a year yet. My hubby is completely against this, knowing I am still in mourning for Polly, my daughter is 95% against this, and my father-in-law who lives with us, is about 98% against this......so definitely a ton of opposition here.....Linda said she usually keeps any pups that are not perfect enough to go to their forever homes, although this has not happened very often for her, and for some reason, they still thought of me. Linda also said she will continue to pay for medical expenses and heart medication which this little girl just started with. Why in the hell am I even pondering this proposition??? But, for some reason, I still am..........HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Much Love to all,
Bonnie & Angel Polly
Wow Bonnie...what a roller coaster you've been on. From my perspective I think Polly is definitely giving you signs. I know your family seems to be against it because they feel you're still grieving for Polly. My question to you is what do you feel after all these signs you've been given? I know for myself I still grieve for Leland but that doesn't prevent me from loving Lucian and giving him a wonderful home.
The other thing that makes this situation a little different from Polly's is that you know going in she's got a health issue. It's not a cancer sneaking up on you and throwing you for a loop. I know when this little lab pup goes to the Bridge you'll be sad and grieve for her but I think you'll be able to prepare your heart a little more than with Polly. And the other thing, who knows how long this little pup may have. It could be 3 months, 3 years, or longer (I try to remain the optimist) but for however long her life is she will know true love and a caring home. I think that would be a wonderful Christmas gift to this precious girl...who through nobody's fault was born with a heart defect.
Anyway...those are my thoughts on your dilemma. Let your heart listen for Polly and she will steer you in the right direction.
Hugs
Sahana and he Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
I agree 100% with Sahana. I know that I haven't yet experienced the loss so my opinion means nill... but you could give this little girl a wonderful life while she can still experience what it is like to be loved. I love that you are seeing signs from Polly. I believe wholeheartedly that Polly wants you to give her the same kind of love that she has had from you. Keep us posted on your decision!!
Love & puppy kisses
Tracy & Bubba
Bonnie,
They thought of you because they know what a kind, caring, loving person you are. I think you should do it. But, I will tell you now, that knowing it will happen sooner rather than later will not make it any easier. If it will be too hard for you to deal with the illness and her death, than you shouldn't do it.
I adopted Willow knowing that she had cancer. She was already 14 months past her amputation, and I knew that her cancer was likely to return and probably sooner rather than later. I chose to adopt her anyway so that she would know a loving home, a family, and her own "person" before she died. It was the best decision I have ever made. But, as you know, my heart broke when she died, and I still miss her every day. When I adopted Seven, it was a huge possibility that he had a brain tumor and might not live long...his primary care vet tried to convince me not to adopt him because she didn't want my heart broken again so soon. I adopted him anyway for the same reasons that I adopted Willow. Well, it turned out that Seven didn't have a brain tumor. He's been with me for 18 months now and he's loving life in a home and with a family, and we're loving him.
We never know how long they will be with us. We just know it's never long enough.
It sounds like your heart is telling you to do this. Sometimes we just need to follow our heart.
Carol
Fast forward a few years Nemo goes in to be spay so a full exam was done while she was out. It turns out that Nemo has a fourth of an ear drum in one year and none in the other. She also has NO soft pallet but rather a thin piece of skin that covers that area. The vet was so AMAZED at how she survived that her offered to adopt her but by then my breeders were so in love that they passed. That was 5 years ago. She really could pass at ANY time, but until she does, they let her go on with love and laughter.
Like I said before, what a special person you must be that they thought of you to show this pup what love is before she crosses over where Polly will do the rest. It might be heartbreaking in the end, but having the prospective before that this is not going to be a long term thing will help. And what better to have a comforting loving hand to help her cross but giving her the world before! If you can handle it GO FOR IT!
Wow Bonnie....just WOW!!!
Okay....I'll just throw in a little sifferent scenario since the others have responded so beautifully as ro why you should move forward with this little pup.
And I re-read this to make sure I was clear....the breeder WILL keep her and do everything she can for her...is that right? And, they may even find someone else who isnr so fresh from loss that wouldbe a perfect fit. So it's not lIke that little pup won't have a kind and loving home one way or another.
And yes, you were called because EVERYONE knows what huge loving compassionate jeart you have!! While they were thinking the sbsolute best scenario for this pup, I am throwing YOU into the equation as what's best for Bonnie allso and this time in her life.
Carol gave great insight as someone who has experienced somethinng similar......and KNOWING going in the pup has this challenge.
I guess it boild down to what you think your heart can take AND. does this pup already have a caring home with the breeder!
You are such a BEAUTIFUL soul and we all love you dearly...we KNOW you would be Nirvana for that pup and she would bring fun and laughter to you and Pearl! And none of us want to see your heartbreak anymore!!
Okay....just a little different perspective to great responses.
Love to you Sweet Bonnie!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
WOW.... I don't have any advice since the others have given such great advice and this is just such a personal decision. I am always in awe of people, like Carol, who can take in older / ill dogs so they can have love and feel so special for however long they have on earth. Such a selfless task.
I don't know what I would even do either ... I have read this a billion times today so all I can say is do what is in your heart... you are one of faith so let that faith guide you. You will make the right decision - no matter what.
I will just send love since I am at a loss for any useful advice....
XO
alison with the spirit of shelby fur-ever in her heart (and little Jasper too)
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Bonnie, like Sally I'm wondering what is best for you and your family. Your husband doesn't have to be right, but you do have to live with him and you both need a peaceful home. Sometimes we bend, sometimes we yield, and sometimes we barge on in. I don't know if he said "whatever you want" while cringing or if it was more along the lines "oh hell no." But you and those in the home are what you must listen to first.
I have a friend with one of those short-lived pups. I've known this woman for 5 1/2 years, and the dog was about a year old when I met her. The dog's been "on death's door" for over 6 years now, so not all end poorly. No guarantees, of course, but then whenever were there any?
Shari
From abandoned puppy to Tripawd Warrior Dude, Dakota became one of the 2011 February Furballs due to STS. Our incredibly sweet friend lived with grace and dignity till he impulsively raced over the Bridge on 12-15-12.
Dakota's thoughtful and erudite blog is at http://shari.tr.....pawds.com/
Everyone has given so many good thoughts so far. I too agree that it definitely comes down to what your heart can handle. Your heart is going to break, no matter who your next dog is. There is NEVER enough time with them, be it 3 months or 15 years. Their end will come and your heart will break the same. If there is ONE thing we have all learned here its that while "time" is great, quality is infinitely greater. I really do believe that time is God's decision, not ours to worry about. Our only job is to fill up every single moment with memories that can outlast and out stand any lifetime. I remember when the vet told me she was sorry, there was nothing more she could do for my Jake. I had never let myself believe there was ever an end to him (he was the dog that would defy existence); but, once I came face to face with it, it was ALL I could see. I couldn't see the in between. I think that is probably what is going on with your family too. They have been told there is an end, and now that is all they see. I think you should really talk to your husband, especially if your heart is calling for this little girl. Sometimes people need to be reminded that the end is only a millisecond of any lifetime.
HUGS
Mom to Tripawd Angels Jake (2001-2014) and Rosco (2012-2015) and Tripawd Tanner. “Whatever happens tomorrow, we had today; and I'll always remember it”
I too, am at a loss to give you advice. One thing I will share is when Daryl was sick a couple of weeks ago, he was howling with pain and I thought, I cannot do this again. His not being well definatly brought back some of the bad stuff. I know just having him since September, I am very, very attached. That being said, I also have an 11 year old dog, who I dread the day I have to let go. I dread the day, yes, but I still love on him every day. I am not making much sense I know, just know that your heart and Polly will guide you. As for your Hubby, am I remembering right that he took losing Polly pretty hard? That may have to play in the equation also. Hugs from, Lori, Ty, Chan, Lucy and Daryl
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Good morning, 24 hours later,
Thank you so much to all of you that posted your kind, supportive, warm caring thoughts on this emotional situation......I have given this EVERY possible thought process, inside, outside, sideways, and upside down, I just messaged Linda, and told her that it would be very difficult for me to take this pup knowing I would be dealing with another heartbreak so soon. I sent a very long message telling her that I have been very indecisive, but ultimately cannot do it. I can't help but feel selfish for this decision, as I told her, but this un-ending, enormous heartache I am still carrying for my Polly is the only reason. I also told Linda that her and her partner placing so much trust in me to care for this sweet pup, meant more to me than they can possibly imagine.
She just sent back her message to me and I have to share it with you....."Bonnie, I totally understand....you are not making a mistake. In my hands or yours she will have a fulfilling life. Just know that you did all you could do for Polly....she knew it, and God intended for it to be that way. He tests us with lots of things and Polly came out a winner having you be her caretaker and friend. Merry Christmas to you and your family."
I am sitting here sobbing, crying for Polly, crying for this little pup, and crying a bit more happy tears for such loving friends in my life. You all mean so much to me to help me with this extremely difficult decision, you all gave me something different to think about, and even those of you that just offered support, means the world to me......in the end, as much as I would have loved to make this pup's life so happy till her time came, I just couldn't quite get there. I am very glad I didn't make a quick decision with this, because I can be very impulsive....but now, in a way, 24 hrs seems too little of a time to decide......
Thanks to all of you again, and {{{hugs}}} to you all....
Much Love,
Bonnie & Angel Polly
And THAT is the PERFECT solution for you AND the puppy!!!!!!!!!! In the real world ......which it feels like none of us here belong to anymore.......that's callled a WIN/WIN
The puppy will be loved! It's not like there were no other options...and I think that's what stood out in my mind...good options!!
You are soooooo dear to us all sweet Bonnie......as the tv commercial says...."Did it hurt when you feel from Heaven?"......you sure are a heavenly gift to us all!!!
When Polly joined the Angels, she felt like she was "home"...because she's lived with one ever since she was a puppy!!!
Hugs and love!
Sally and My Heavenly Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Sorry! I'm soooooooo late to this conversation, but I couldn't add another thing that hasn't already been said.
I tried putting myself in your shoes and my heart immediately started to break. It broke for you and your Polly. It broke for the puppy with its time-stamp. It broke for the breeder and all the puppies they've endured with love over their little lifetimes. It takes a special person to make these kinds of decisions and it's obvious that God has gifted you with that special heart. And even though you've heard it a thousand times, one thousand and one - He won't give you more than you can handle. He gave you the strength to make the decision you needed to make for yourself.
There's a cusp we gingerly tip-toe around between self-sacrifice and self-preservation. When our emotions are in the way it can make it so difficult to see the answer we know we can live with. Both sides of this coin affects not only you, but the ones you love and support.
Calvert would tell you, if you make your decisions with Grace, you'll never make a wrong one.
Peace be with you my friend.
Pam, Melody and Halo'd Harmony
Harmony became a Tripawd on 10/21/14 (MCT). She left us way too soon on 11/1/14.
"We miss you so much; our love, our heart, our Harmony."
- Pam, Ron and Melody, Meesha, Doublestuff and Mariah Carey
And Sweet Soul Pam.....I jave a question for you also....."Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" 
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
WOW what a great deal to consider. Just remember that you made the decision for the better interests of all, yourself, your family & knowing that the pup, as the breeder said, will be in loving hands regardless!
You may become ready at another time, and although all the signs were there from Polly, where you simply thinking of her more due to your dilemma, of if she would be comfy you loving another after her, so those signs just stood out a little more than they would've done perhaps? Just a thought.
Sending hugs
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