I first want to thank those of you who posted a reply to me.  The kind words are much appreciated and at times like these, they are much needed.  : )

I swear I have cried over the last 24 hours more than I have in a good while.  My eyes are so sore.

None of us are ever going to be prepared for the day we have to let go of our sweet babies.  Henri has really slowed down over the last week but I was hoping it was just due to him being tired with vacation and being in a different environment.

The last few days esecially, Henri has shown signs of being TIRED, weak, and has not even wanted to go outside.  It has all been a ton of work but my worry is his quality and whether or not it is time.  Today, I came home from work and when I walked in the door, Henri was just laying there, panting, and he did not get up to greet me...it is like it is too much work for him.  He also would not drink water which he always does.  He just put his head back on the floor and kept still there ....and it  killed me. So I just knew it was time to let him go. It hurt me so bad to see him like this.  We already had an appt with the Oncologist today, so I just had a bad feeling.  Well, I was unable to get Henri out of the door and into my car so I had to get help from a neighbor....he has a Golden too and he knows how much I love Henri.  Thank GOD he was home....

So off to the Vets we went....Henri did not move the entire ride, and all I could do was cry  : (

I had two Vet techs come to the car and they said they were rushing him in the back to check all his vitals and that I could go check in....Henri just looked at me and I lost it....OMG....I can not even explain the pain I had.

I waited about 30 minutes and finally a tech came out and said Henri wagged his tail for them and stood up and even walked around a little.  This just melted my heart and gave me a little relief.  Although not out of the woods...I was happy to hear that he had gotten up. 

Basically the Oncologist said this:

His Vitals were good, we did a CBC and that was good....Kidney function showed slightly elevated but she was not concerned with it.  She did mention there was a slight possibility for spinal mets but that Henri did not react the way most dogs do with the exam if he had those...but the only way to rule that out was to do a CT SCAN and put him under....Also, if he did have them...they would suggest radiation....I am not putting Henri or myself through that at age 11.  Plus it is not offered in my city...I would have to drive two hours North or South ...but that is really not the point.  We decided on the conservative route for now....Henri received a prednisone injection and we are keeping him on two different pain pills...this is to help with his arthritis and I am hoping he gains a little strength in his hind legs.  

The bad news is that he was not interested in his dinner : (  And he has been snoozing ever since we got home.

We have stopped the metronomic therapy and will try this round of meds for Henri's arthritis to see if he improves over the next few days.  This is pretty much all that can be done.  So I will continue to pray that Henri will feel better.  I hate to lose his this soon....just hope he has a little fight left in him.  But again, it is about quality days...and I wantHenri to have good days. If Henri is tired and ready to quit, then I need to respect that and be mindful of that.

We do not know what tomorrow brings, but today I gained HOPE and I have to ride that wave for the moment....

I guess I am in limbo, and it sucks but I have to find acceptance with this.

Henri will earn his wings soon, but he will earn them with dignity and more love than he could ever imagine!

Hugs!

Wendy & Henri