Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Mac is 4 weeks and one day post amp and I've found it really hard to stop thinking about the cancer! He had no mets on diagnosis (almost 6 weeks now), but I'm becoming really paranoid. Every symptom, or non-symptom has me hyper-reacting. He's been really clingy to us in the last few days-could be that he's feeling bad or better. He's been panting a lot-could be mets or the fact that it's hot and humid. I want another set of x-rays just so I'll relax, but if it's not good...
Those of you who have dealt with this for a long time, do you ever relax? How do you ever get your head around the fact that this will get him, but you don't know when and that's OK?! Argh!!!
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Mac and Amy,
Yes we know that the light at the end of the tunnel is really a freight train and in the end we will not "win" this battle. Cherry was eleven the day before her amputation, and I have felt that I have been on "borrowed" time for quite a while now. Having said this, I will tell you that I do feel that we are winning the battles. Every day with my little girl is precious and I would not trade for anything. I only think about today which has sufficient challenges that cancer is not on my thoughts. When she bloated in March and again in June, I worried that she had suffered torsion. If you think that Osteosarcoma is painful, you have not seen torsion. I went through that with my two white standard poodles, and while I save both of them, the complications eventually took them three years later. When ever she has a day that she does not want to eat and definately looks under the weather, I worry about mets. When I brought Cherry home for the first time, I knew that my time with her was finite and this only better defines the length of that time. I have not had an chest x-ray since her last chemotherapy mainly because no one can tell me what I would do differently regardless of the result. I live for today with Cherry and have essentially shut down the rest of my life. There will be plenty of time in the future to get those other things back in order. If the x-ray is good will you really take today for granted? If the x-ray is not good, could you really spend more quality time with them?
At the worst of the recovery, I clearly said that this will have been worth it even if we only have a short perid of quality time. We are nine months post-amputation, one month of HELL, two months of real struggle, and six of very high quality. That ratio cannot be bad. Yes, the Osteosarcoma has changed our lives and to some degree it has actually dictated our lives. However, it is not my constant thought. Time with Cherry and how I can improve that time is my constant thougt.
Bob & Cherry
Hi Amy
This is a Jerry post from awhile back. It continues to inspire me:
jerry said:
About the battle never being truly victorious….well, I like to think it does end with victory. I know that sounds weird, but try to look at it like this….
As hard as it is ultimately to say goodbye when the cancer becomes too aggressive, their battle can end on a pawsitive note, if Tripawd pawrents are open to the lessons that our furry kids try to teach us during this difficult time. If we:
- follow their lead and learn to take each day as it comes
- stop worring about things out of our control
- live in the now, and embrace each moment for the gift that it is
- pass along those lessons to other humans throughout our lives
I truly believe that's why our pups were put on this earth…to selflessly teach us these valuable lessons to get along well in life, and pass along good deeds and karma to others while we are here. Unfortunately, it might take something as awful as cancer to drill these lessons into us, but when they finally do sink in, our furry kids know that they have successfully completed their mission, and are able to leave this earth in a beautiful glow of victory and triumph. Another human changed for the better, and the cycle continues . . .
Cemil and mom Mary, Mujde and Radzi….appreciating and enjoying Today
When we got the diagnosis and the couple weeks afterwards, I went through something called “anticipatory grief”. Even though we still had Jack, all I could think about was when we would lose him and would spend my days in tears. I made a post in the coping with loss forums, and the responses from Jim and Rene really helped me to realize that as dog parents, our job is to make sure our little babies are as happy as they can be for as long as they chose to be. If we do that, we have done our job.
Our dogs don't know they have cancer, so the aren't afraid of what's to come…we are the ones that are afraid of life without of dogs. We would have conversations with Jack, let him know that he was sick, tell him we would do whatever we could to make sure he wasn't in pain, let him know we enjoyed our day with him, and that if his cancer ever got to be too much, to please let us know and we would help him become pain-free. As silly as it sounds, it really helped us come to terms with the fact that we can't change what's happened, but we can all have fun because he's absolutely still happy and healthy as can be, given his circumstances!
Some people chose not to get x-rays because knowing doesn't change anything, but we have decided to go ahead and get them done since our Oncologist will start him on a new regimin once mets appear. We had our second set of x-rays 2 weeks ago, and although our regular vet thought there may be a little something starting in his lungs, our Oncologist looked at them and knew it was just a blood vessel and nothing to worry about. We are almost 3 months post-amputation.
Here's the link to the advice I got when I was going through what you are, so I hope some of the links help!!
/forums/coping-with-loss/preparing-for-loss/
<3 Laura
Unfortunately it is always in the back of your mind - when Radar cries in his sleep, when he's not as playful as normal and his energy levels seem down, when his attitude is "off": all these things bring it to mind. However, that said, yes you do relax.
When you see they are out of pain - when you see their happy personalities return - when you see them act as if nothing is different even though so much is different - your heart and mind can then return to and embrace the dog you loved rather than the pain they were suffering. Then you can relax and know you gave them the opportunity to get those things back. Let that joy replace your worry. And remember that when you worry - your dog worries (amazing how they can read us) and that can affect both actual and percieved health and recovery.
Connie
Hi Amy and McGwire
yes, you are hearing from a few people like me who are hardly cancer 'veterans', only being 2 weeks or 6 weeks ahead of you. But then there is Cherry and Borzoid who have racked up a bit more time. Notice that most people on the website are in the midst of heavy therapy (amp and chemo), probaby because people start to relax as time goes by and they get into a rhythym.
I might be the biggest worrier of all, judging from the posts, yet something happened this last week (I think we are around week 6 with amp at July 15, although I no longer have exact count) that lets me relax. The difference can be seen in photos - Tazzie is his old/young smiling goofy self, and he really was not 'smiling' in pics from 1-2 weeks ago. He is behaving like a silly 8 yr old dog going on 1 again, well maybe 2, and not like the 15 yr old dog he seemed following the amp. I did feel the way you did because of all of his heavy breathing (and it was not at times when it was hot) and had a set of x-rays taken last week. The vet probably thought it was silly but it did help me. At least I know we got into the chemo protocol without the mets visibly showing.
I am worried that I'll be hit just as hard when lung mets and any other problems show as I was with the original diagnosis - I hope not, but of course it is not as though our bond with our dogs is any less than when we began down this road. It is easier to feel good about things when you feel as though you are doing something that will help: chemo, supplements, snake oil, whatever.
I think it might be a bit easier with a middle-aged or elderly dog (not that the loss will be any easier). If we can get a good year or two - or more - we will be into the realm of a 'normal' life span which is a bit easier for our mind's to accept, although I had hoped for something similar to the 16 yr racked up by my previous healthy mutt.
But yes, I have been obsessed by dog cancer since this began - to the detriment of work - and can't keep that up. Funny that Tazzie has been clingier than usual the last few days. And I sure hate to leave him behind even for a second (on second thought, maybe we are the clingy ones).
I can't remember - is Mac on chemo?
Susan
Hi Amy:
We might be getting close to veteren stage. Tika will soon be having her 9months anniversary. I like the phrase anticipatory grief. I know I definitely had that, I completely shut down for about a month.
I noticed that suddenly I've kinda changed when people ask me about Tika's leg, I say 'She has cancer', and I say it like it's a badge of honor for her, because she is fighting it the best she can, she's living a great life and she's not giving up. People wind up stunned, at the Bark for Life a gentleman who was a cancer survivor and she seemed to having some deep communication with each other, I wanted to take a picture, but I felt like I was intruding. It was very touching and I tried hard not to cry. The gentleman thanked me for sharing her for awhile and told me to live through her strength and love.
So that's what I do. I worry for her, I try not to think of 'that day', and we are giving her every option to help her body fight those lung mets.
So until then, I can only live within her strength and love and enjoy each and every minute of it.
Momma's flying home today and gets to see her baby girl and she's so HAPPY!
--K
Kim and Spirit Tika http://www.tika.....ogspot.com
Awesome advice from everyone, thank you for sharing your experiences, and for quoting us too, what an honor. Thanks.
We lived with cancer for nearly two years. There was not one day that passed that we didn't think about it, so we totally understand what you're feeling.
But they way we kept it from driving us insane, and living in fear, was to always remember that we choose how to deal with things. We could let fear run our lives, and worry that with every pant or labored breathing that it was a sign that mets were taking over. But doing so wouldn't accomplish anything, and would also rob us of the chance to enjoy what time we did have left together. That wouldn't be fair to any of us. So we forged ahead, doing the best we could with the tools we had at hand, and lived each day with a renewed joy that at least our pack was still together.
In case you missed it, our friend Doug wrote a great website called "Overcoming Fear and Guilt when Canine Kids Get Sick." This also made a huge impact on how we coped with cancer. His story will make you cry like there's no tomorrow, but re-read it again after the tears subside, and I'll bet it'll help you as much as it helped us.
Good luck, and remember, we're always here for you.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
I think everyone said what I would have. Anticipatory grief is such as wonderful, descriptive phrase. Been there, did that. Didn't like it. I try to make the most of every moment with Emily and hold memories in my heart but fear the future. Unfortunately, three months post-op I haven't got to the point where it is not always on my mind. Last night Emily has breathing heavier than I thought she should and I made everyone come and look at her. No one else was concerned but I can make myself crazy!
Debra
Debra & Emily, a five year old doberman mix, who was diagnosed with an osteosaecoma. She had a right rear leg amputation on May 19, 2009. On November 10, 2009 she earned her wings and regained her fourth leg.
Do you ever relax? Yes... and....No
For me, a non worrier, it is not so hard to keep pushing forward each day, and keep looking forward. For my husband, it's a bit tougher. He looks for irregularities and then worries when he finds them. Any bump, bite, itchy place causes that red flag to go up.
I can look at those places, tell myself it looks like a bite, resolve to watch it for a day or two and keep going. That doesn't mean the thought never crosses my mind. Do I think it will come back - probably. The question then becomes how diligent and/or paranoid will you allow yourself to become anticipating that day?
I choose to live without the fear. Trouble is happy and in being thankful for that happiness, I can let go of the 'what if's'. It did take time for me to get to this peacefulness. It is very hard to get there before the recovery and treatments are complete.
Hope you find many peaceful days and months ahead.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
I find it relaxing when great topics like this grow with continued input from the Tripawds community. Thanks everyone!
Yes it's terribly hard not to obsess about every little thing related to our pups' diagnosis, prognosis, and whatever whoknowsis. But once you can think more like a dog and simply make the most of every moment in the now, it gets a lot easier to relax.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Great topic Macsmom. I am going through the same questioning right now. (Oslo's osteosarcoma diagosed on 7/20/09 and front-left leg removed on 7/31) So every single post here is of tremendous help to me.
For now, I am just trying to not be too hard on myself when I have a bad day. Last month has been so emotionnally and physically exhausting! I am slowly learning to not think too much, so that Oslo may have a carefree mom to play with. I do believe he deserves that, but that not means it is an easy task.
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