Thanks to everyone for their kind words.  Its nice to have this community that understands what I am going through.  I cried my eyes out last night, but today their will be no more tears.  I don't want to stress Cadence.  She doesn't like it when Mommy and Daddy are upset. 

Last night was a good night.  When we got back from the vets, we took her on a small walk just so she could get outside and smell the fresh air.  She was so happy.  We kept the walk short because I didn't want her to over exert herself.  I'm not even sure if its safe to take her out on walks now.  At this point her breathing is fine.  She just has these sporadic coughing episodes. 

We have a follow up appointment with our vet on Friday.  We will definitely ask him if there is any medication that will help out with the breathing when it gets to that point.  Some of you mentioned Prednisone,so we will ask him about that. 

It is still hard for me to comprehend that this is happening all so fast.  I know that this damn cancer does not fight fair.  I asked my boyfriend last night, if we knew three months ago that we would be facing this now, would he still have done the amputation.  Without hesitation, he said yes.  I feel the same way.  Even with the chemo, we would have still done it.  For us, we wanted to make sure that Cadence had a fighting chance. 

We are not giving up.  I know the odds are not in our favor, but we are going to cherish the time we have left with her.  The vet told me that Cadence will tell us when its time.  So far, she still has that fight left in her eyes.  When the time does come, we will be by her side as she takes her final journey.

On Thursday, Steve took Cadence in to see our vet/oncologist.  I had to work but I sent him with a list of questions to ask.  The vet said he saw 3 mets and they were on Cadence's lungs.  Two of them were of moderate size.  He said, in his opinion, she had closer to two months.  In my heart I know that is not the case.  I'm not being negative, but I can see the slow decline in Cadence.  Granted she is eating like a horse, and still drinking water, but the coughing is more frequent and she is coughing up blood.  I also notice that she tires a lot quicker.  The vet said she would stop eating and drinking when she got worse, so I'm happy that she is still doing both those things.  Maybe, I am mentally trying to prepare myself for the inevitable.  I am getting better about not letting her see me cry.  When my eyes start to flow, I walk into another room.  I also cry when I'm driving to work.  I cry at the thought of losing her, but I also cry because when I go to work, that is time that I'm not being able to spend with her.  I wish there was family leave to care for a dog. 

The vet told Steve about a the drug called Palladia or something similar to that.  I can never get the name of that drug correct.  I read about it here before, so I knew something about it.  I also remember reading that some dogs have a bad reaction to the drug.  We had talked about it prior to the visit and we both had decided that we would not put Cadence on it.  There is no guarantee it will work, we  don't want her to be more sick and then there is the cost.  The vet said it was $1000.00 a month.  I cant believe how expensive it is.  At first I felt guilty about not giving her every possibility of a longer life, but then I thought about the possible side effects of the drug.  We want her remaining time on earth to be of good quality.  If she is sick because the drug makes her sick, then it just wasn't worth it to us. I hope, that one day, there is a cure for this, so no other person has to go through the agonizing pain we are all going through. 

The vet told us to spoil her and give her anything she wants.  A few hamburgers from McDonald's is not going to harm her.  We have been giving her, her usual food, but I think we will take the vets advice and mix things up.  Steve really wants to give her a steak this week, so I think that is what we will do.  I'm just afraid, once she has the taste of a steak, she will never eat her food again.  Who would want kibbles when you can have fillet?

I had Steve ask the vet about when it was time to say goodbye.  We both would prefer to do it at our home.  That way Cadence can be surrounded by just us and in a place where she really feels comfortable.  He gave us a list of vets in our area that will come to the house.  He also said that he would be able to come over also.  The receptionist had mentioned this to me before, but I was so happy to hear it from him.  He is so kind and compassionate that we want him to be the one that sends her on her final journey.  That is what we will do when it is time.  He told us he could do it as long as its not a Friday and if there is a pet emergency then he needed to tend to that first.  He told us Cadence would let us know when she is ready.  I'm really hoping that she does let us know.  Cadence is very stoic and Im worried that she wont give us a sign.  I guess I'm just going to have to look really close for that sign from her. 

I'm off the next three days so we are just going to spend quality time together.  The sun is shining, the birds are chirping so we are going to go to the park.  We will enjoy these precious moments that we are so blessed to have. 

Jerry thank you so much for that information on the Penny Jars.  We are definitely going to do that.   I think that is my biggest worry about this whole journey.  How do you know its time?  Our biggest worry is that we don't want Cadence to suffer.  We refuse to do that to her.  The penny jar idea has some great advice and we will surely sit down and make our plan on using it.

Cadence had a great day yesterday.  She slept in a lot later than she usually does which had me slightly worried.  It was a beautiful day her in California so I went with my original plan to take her to the park.  As soon as she heard me getting her leash, she perked up and came running out of the bedroom.  My heart felt relief.  We took along a blanket, water and my camera.  When we got to the park, she was wagging her tail and smiling.  I took along a long lead so she was able to run around but still be under control.  She ran and ran, rolled in the grass and we even took a dip in the creek.  She did at least, I tried to stay dry.  She was soaking wet, dirty and she smelled so bad, but all I could do is smile as I watched her.  At times she would look back at me and it seemed like she was saying thank you to me with her eyes.  A day like that was exactly what she needed and what I needed.  Last night was also good.  She went the whole night without coughing.  I thought that with all the activity it was going to be a long night, but she slept like a baby.  She snored like a grown man though.  Steve and I looked at each other and we just enjoyed the sound of her snoring.  For once, it felt like things were back to normal. 

It was a great day indeed.........