As I'm sure many of you can relate to...words simply do not express the feelings that I have and the bond that I share with my tripawd guy. Zeus has shown me a different and more meaningful purpose in life and brought to the forefront what really matters to me. As with all our tripawd dogs...he has shown incredible courage and strength, perseverence and a zest for life and of course that unconditional love trait that they have going. As silly as it may sound to many people, this dawg is an inspiration to me and has taught me more about the "meaning of life" in the last 2 months than I have learned in my 39 years.

I raised Zeus from a pup - of course he was the cutest golden retriever EVER...and from the minute I laid eyes on him, I was in love. I stopped by the breeders every night after work to play with him until I could take him home for good.

Zeus was about 2 1/2 when my husband and I separated and divorced...Zeus and I always had this bond and I was thankful that deciding where he would be happiest was agreed to easily that it was with me.

I was working long hours and Zeus was alone more than I was comfortable with...we adopted Buddy...also a golden retriever...and they became fast friends who are now inseparable and seem more like brothers than "buddies". Buddy was a wonderful addition to our new family...me and my "boys".

At the turn of this year, I had a really bad feeling that I was going to lose Zeus this year...he turned 10 on March 8th and I just didn't think that he would make it through the year. Nothing was wrong with him that I was aware of (at the time) and I really had no reason to feel this, but nonetheless I did.

The first weekend in February, I was on a girls weekend with my 2 close friends..both of them Vets. The boys were with us. Zeus didn't look like he was feeling well (ears down, eyes pleading) and they both checked him over - then asked me to bring him in for xrays of his abdomen that Monday...they were looking for cancer. That dreaded word. X-rays only revealed a little arthritis in his spine which was normal given his age. Was I relieved that we didn't have to deal with cancer (little did we know...) We put him on the proper medication and he seemed to be feeling much, much better...then in early March, he developed a slight limp...occasionally...like once every 2 or 3 days on a walk...I figured it was from playing with Buddy. The limp disappeared for a couple weeks and so I didn't think anything of it honestly. Then it came back occasionally...and started to be a bit more consistent, so off to see Kecia (my Vet and my dear friend). I thought it was his left front leg...so she took xrays of his left leg - nothing. THANK GOD she took xrays of his right leg for a "comparison"...or we wouldn't have caught it so early. Her call that evening was horrible...as I know all of you can relate to - I sat in a corner and lost it. He was on the bed looking at me, like, I know Mom...I'm sorry...Buddy was laying on my lap just looking at me with a little fear in his eyes.

I quickly pulled myself together - for both of them - got back on the phone with Kecia and Brigid (my best friend who is also a Vet) and we came up with a plan. The next day, Friday, we had an appt with an oncologist who gave me my options...amputation or just keep him comfortable until the cancer takes him or he is in uncontrollable pain.  The thought of amputation was a nightmare...I mean how could I be so cruel? I had no idea or no knowledge of what this meant. I kept an open mind and did my research, talked with friends, loved ones and family. Some agreed with my decision and some didn't - I asked the ones that didn't to please respect my decision and if they could not be supportive that I would get in touch with them once we got through this - I didn't want anything negative in my focus and staying positive for Zeus was critical. Kecia and Brigid spent countless hours with me listening to me repeat my questions and patiently answered them over and over again. I am eternally grateful. 2 days of this...and prayers for guidance and Zeus' response to my question, "What do YOU want to do big boy?" He was laying on the bed when I looked into his big brown eyes and asked him this question. He responded by jumping off the bed, running to the window to bark, chasing his tail and then bringing me his favorite toy. I know in my heart, as crazy as it sounds, that he understood my question. He wanted to fight...and so we started our battle. Less than one week from diagnosis, we amputated. 

The first two weeks were beyond difficult - for all of us, but we took it one day at a time and sometimes even one hour at a time. We had so much love and support from so many people, I can't list them all here -  we were truly blessed. Despite my intial insistance that I would not treat with chemo because I didn't want to put him through it, we are now going through chemo treatment. I will never make another decision without having all the facts first and doing an honest "gut check". What does your gut tell you to do? When I listen to my sixth sense, I always make the right decision. I made the right decision with Zeus' treatment plan because I listened to my gut and most importantly to my heart.

His protocol doesn't have any side effects. He goes for a 10 min IV and comes home...no illness, no hair loss...just a little fatigue the day he has the treatment. Our plan consists of 4 treatments (we have our third one this thursday) and 2 treatments of pamidrinite. Emotionally, I don't like doing chemo - I'm currently on a bit of a roller coaster, but for us it was the right decision, so I muddle my way through the emotions and come on here to get the support I need.

We just went for chest x-rays yesterday and we are all clear so far...no mets that are visable to the eye and obviously I was thrilled beyond words and tears of gratitude came pouring down my face.

Our routine is different and things take more time. We can't go on hour long walks anymore...they last about 15 minutes each walk now at a much slower pace, and Buddy gets the ball thrown now while Zeus lays in the grass chewing his sticks. I miss our long walks and I kick myself now for all those times that they wanted to walk but I was too lazy to get out of bed a little earlier before work or I was too tired at the end of the work day. One of the many lessons learned, I now get myself up a little earlier to give Zeus and Buddy that little amount of time in the morning before work that they love so much - and I have grown to treasure - even when I don't feel like it. They give so much and ask for so little.

We have this journey together and with each step, my boys teach me something new and bring so much meaning and purpose into my life...the real stuff - not the surface stuff. It's odd to say this, but in a strange way, this experience has been a gift in my life. As long as Zeus is happy, healthy and not in any pain, I will continue to walk this journey with him and I'm looking forward to each day that we have...no matter how long or short that time is.

Thanks for reading our story, I hope that it brings anyone who is wondering whether or not to amputate a little bit of knowledge and support.

Zeus, Buddy and Mom (Heather)