Yes, you're going to stop crying, but not until you get over one more hurdle – the question of "What have I done?"

For whatever it's worth, I think you're making the right decision.  Cancer is nothing to roll dice with, and if there's even a chance of it in the leg, I firmly believe you need to play it safe with your dog's life and amputate.  Whether it's cancer or not seems irrelevant at this point – something is causing your dog pain when he walks, and it doesn't seem to be going away.  Even if it gets no worse, who would want to go through life with a constant feeling of dull pain that never stops?  Better to relieve him of the pain and be done with it.  You'll be stunned by how quickly he adapts, and life on three legs will soon seem so normal that you'll wonder what the fuss was all about in the first place.  What you're doing is giving him the best chance for a long happy life.

However, that one hurdle is a big one.  I'll warn you about it now so you can mentally prepare yourself.  Kenmore is going to come back from the hospital looking horrible, with a huge shaved patch and a massive, Frankenstein-like line of sutures where that leg used to be.  He's very likely to be in some pain and need medication for it, which is always a crapshoot for dogs when it comes to figuring out which meds work and what the proper dosage is.  But the worst part of this will be how you feel when you see it, because you're going to look at your confused, hurting buddy and think, "How could I have done this to him?"  And then you'll cry harder than ever.

So give in and cry – it'll be good for you.  But NEVER, EVER lose sight of the most important facts:

• This is the right thing to do, and that's not always easy.  Some of the best choices we make in life are the hardest ones, and this is no exception.  You're trading a few weeks of pain and stress for a lifetime of happiness and mobility.  No matter how long that ends up being, it's a good trade.
• Kenmore won't blame you.  He doesn't know you made this decision.  He won't see you as the cause of his pain.  He'll see you as the source of his comfort, so swallow your tears and be that for him.  He'll need you now more than ever, so don't let him down.
• You're feeling bad now because of that nagging bit of indecision at the back of your mind.  That's normal.  It'll get a lot easier once he goes in for surgery.  Once a decision is made and is being carried out, there's no more room for "what-ifs."  And that will make this much easier to deal with.

And once you get past the first few unpleasant weeks, Kenmore will be fine.  And he'll NEVER want for attention again.  I don't care how cute a dog was when it had four legs – that's nothing compared to the attention he'll get with only three.  Everyone wants to pet a three-legged dog.  Our Max figured that out fast once he became a tripawd, and he milked it for all it was worth for the rest of his life.  He really knew how to work the room and mooch the most attention out of everyone there.  We never regretted our decision, and in the end, neither will you.

Every pup here seems to have come around after surgery at slightly different pace, but with positive results.  We are 19 days post op and enjoying life thoroughly since day three.  Anything you need is usually found right here, most importantly the support of this community.  We will be watching Kenmore with paws crossed...

Hey Kenmore, Zip here. I am an older gal {13 1/2 but don't tell anyone} that had my right rear leg removed and let me tell you, the pain is gone! I did well after surgery but being a bit older it took me 3-4 weeks before I was feeling top-notch most of the time. I had my first chemo a week after surgery and between that and the surgery, I felt slow and tired. All this to encourage you that we all progress at our own rate. I had great days early on and some not so great days. My person is a vet and she was so overly concerned with every breath I took and the chemo and meds made me pant so that freaked her out even more. Then there was the not interested in my usual food that added to the mix and really just about put her over the edge. We had lots of tears and fears but for the most part she seems better now. I still give her a hard time about my pills and she stresses out twice a day because I pout if she pushes them down my throat instead of giving them with steak. I have kidney issues so I have to watch my protein intake-darn! Anyway wlecome to the family, it is a good family but not one we all seek to join but once you are here, we will be with you through everything so don't hesitate to let us know what your human is worried about because someone has probably had their human go through it also. Check out my blog and see the funny thing I got to ride in last week!

Zippy

I wish you all the best for Kenmore tomorrow.  We'll be thinking of you and sending you lots of prayers and healing thoughts.  When we got our diagnosis of osteosarcoma, it literally turned our world upside down. It's a very confusing, stressful time and just know that in the end you are doing the right thing.  Had I known then what I know now, I never would have hesitated one bit.  As it is, my Mackenzie just celebrated her 1 year ampuversary and she continues to do great.  Take it one day at a time during this recovery, sometimes it's one hour at a time and just know that it will get better.  Before you know it, Kenmore will be amazing you with all that he can do on 3 legs and he won't even know that he's missing a leg and neither will you!

Wishing you all the best tomorrow. Please let us know how Kenmore is doing.

Kami (Mackenzie's Mom)