I came home from work tonite... and Jake couldn't come to greet me... I had to go into the TV room, where he was lying there... but his head and his ears were up in excitement... but no getting up. Hubby had stayed home with him today, and said that whenever he had to take him out to pee, he had to hold up the harness, so that Jake's legs didn't have to support any weight. If he would let go of the harness for a few seconds, then Jake's legs would just start to give way and hubby had to grab the harness before Jake fell down.

I lied down on the floor next to Jake... He was chewing on one of his stuffed toys (Wolfie came to lie next to him)... and I was massaging Jake's back legs. I feel a hard lump right in his thigh... maybe there are more inside? There are other lumps all over... Damn this freaken cancer!! I just want to scream to the top of my lungs!!!()#&)^#%)&^#)&

So, I'm going to make dinner for the doggies soon... Jake still loves to eat! But I'll definitely have to hold him up while he does... I'm still going to give him his next Adequan injection tomorrow... What the hell... I already paid for the whole vial! 

We're kind of undecided on what to do... or should I say 'when' to do it. I was thinking to maybe give him one more weekend of swimming in the pool... He loves that so... and then maybe on Monday... go to the vet for a final visit. I don't want him to suffer... but when he's just lying there... he doesn't seem to be suffering... just when he has to get up. I guess we're taking this day by day... and in the meantime, I keep hoping that he will miraculously start feeling better...

Last nite at around 2am... Jake woke me up with his crying... OMG! I jumped out of bed thinking, this is it!!! I don't want him to be in pain!

I went over to him and started kissing him and caressing him, asking him what was wrong... was he in pain? Then I asked, 'do you want to go pee-pee' and he jumped up (well, the front part of him jumped up)... so I put on his harness and out we went. He peed and dig a big poop, then we came back in and he plopped down on his bed and went to sleep. Guess he just had to go.

My husband and I have talked about it over and over again. He doesn't seem to be in any pain that we can tell. He still has a great appetite, rolls around on his bed when we play with him, wants to eat his treats and play with his stuffed toys... and loves it when we massage him.

Though he tires so quickly, he still seems to be happy when he's with us. I'm giving him his 2nd Adequan shot this morning (just in case?) and we are going to take him to the pool on the weekend. Maybe for the last time? If he is still not better, or is worse by Sunday nite... then we will bring him to the vet on Monday.

I HATE CANCER!!!

Jake's Mom

I came home a few hours ago... Hubby was already home in the TV room with Jake. Wolfie came to greet me... As I was kissing him and saying hello, I hear a whining coming from the TV room.... so I walk inside, and there is Jake, lying on his bed, but his head and ears are up and alert, and he's trying to lift himself with his front leg to come and greet me. My heart just sank!  I ran in to hug and kiss him and to say hello! I had bought 2 little stuffed bears (leftover Halloween stuff) from the pet store and gave one to Jake and to Wolfie. Jake started chewing on his, rolling around, etc... God... this is killing me!!! There is absolutely no improvement in his back legs... they move, but just aren't strong enough to lift him...

I made dinner later on (the power mushrooms finally came in today and I added them to his meal) and Jake was ravenous, as usual... but then my hubby came into the kitchen to pick something off the counter, and Jake stopped to look at him... then didn't continue eating. I don't know if he just got distracted and realized how tired he was while standing to eat (I was supporting him the whole time with his harness), or if he would have just stopped eating half-way regardless. It bugs me, because throughout all this cancer ordeal, he has had an excellent appetite. I hope this isn't another bad sign.

I forced Jake to go outside afterwards (even though he just wanted to go back to his bed) and he peed... While bringing him back inside the house, his back legs gave way and he just plopped down. I was supporting him with the harness the whole time, but he is so heavy that I just couldn't hold him anymore. It took me a few minutes, but I was able to finally get him up again, and got him all the way back to his bed in the TV room. OMG! I have shooting pains through my butt cheeks, going down my legs... I know this isn't good, but I can't let that get in the way right now...

AARRHHH!!!! I don't know what else to say... We have the weekend ahead of us... I know it will be difficult... but I am determined, with hubby's help, to get Jake in and out of the pool, even if it's for his last time. I want him to enjoy every minute of his life... until he can't anymore. And maybe, just maybe... he'll start feeling better again. I can only hope...

Jake's Mom

Thank you everyone for your wonderful support!!

My hubby and I made sure to do all the research, and talk to different vets before we made our decision to amputate. I knew there were NO guarantees! But I saw that there was hope... Reading so many of your posts... seeing that some of your babies had survived 6 months, 11 months... even 2 years!!! How could we not take that chance with Jake?

I am NOT sorry for doing the surgery... We (Jake) have had 6 weeks of joy, love and fun (just look at his pictures and videos on his blog!)... We have cherished every single extra minute we had with him... we still are.

When Jake's time comes, we will be heartbroken... but will be at peace knowing that we did whatever we could... and that he was a happy and very loved dog until the end.

Jake's Mom