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Gabriel - Facing front Leg Amputation
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Calgary, Alberta
Member Since:
18 January 2022
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106
1 September 2022 - 10:37 am
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Yeah, it is going to be a struggle through all this for sure, always wondering if we did enough for Gabe. The thought will always linger, and we just cannot let it eat us up. We did literally every option we had for Gabriel. We couldn't risk him suffering.

The foster is a good boy, it wasn't his fault as we had a friend's puppy pee in that spot downstairs and he probably just could smell that!
My partner and I agreed we would try to have the foster go to another home as it was too early for us, so she organized a new foster for him.
They had come to pick him up one evening and took him to their home out of town by about 35 minutes.
We went indoor climbing that evening and when we came home, my partner saw on the Foster Facebook page that Boeing (Our Foster) had run away, so we grabbed my phone I left at home and started driving to help look.
Along the way, they called us to let us know, that they found Boeing, 16 blocks from their home and that he wouldn't get into the car with them and looked like he would run away again.

They waited for us to come, as we were 15 minutes away racing down the highway to get there quickly.
As we showed up we hopped out of the car, and it looked like he might bolt again, but as he realized it was us he crept closer, he ran around my partner and came right over to me after only knowing him for 2 days.

We offered to keep fostering him after that, as he clearly seems comfortable with us since then he has opened up tremendously. He got the zoomies in the yard last night and has started playing with his ball in the house and in the backyard.
He has a potential Adoptee coming from a city a few hours away next week, and they seem very interested!
Boeing has clearly been abused in some form, but I am happy to report he is doing much better with us now.

Last night I picked up Gabriel's pawprints from the Vet Clinic, and when I got home I was crying and both the Foster Cat (Lad) and Foster Dog (Boeing) came and sat with me, Boeing literally laid on my chest. Gabriel was amazing, but if someone was crying he typically wanted to leave the room icon_lol
I realized more then, that though we may be emotional from Gabe's passing and still grieving, it is better than poor Boeing feeling scared enough to run away from a home and potentially become injured or worse.

Boeing has become my shadow now, he is glued to me which is a strange thing for me. Gabriel was truly my partner's dog, where he followed her EVERYWHERE. (She was mom, I was the best friend/Step-dad)

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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107
1 September 2022 - 11:21 am
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Oh gosh!  Tears flowing for so many reasons over here!  Seems to me Gabe is orchestrating a lot of "activity " between your foster and you from the Bridge.  So much I want to address as I've missed a couple of your posts, but have to head to work so will jist focus on the foster for now.

The way Boeing ran away...the way he would not come to the "others".....the way  he came to  you......I am stunned at how quickly he has bonded with you!  Then again, not stunned if Gabe picked Boeing for you.  And then to hear how hapoy he was to be back "home" and did the zoomies, played with his toys, stays by your side........so much going on here from a "Universe" perspective. 

As we often say when it comes to rescues, you don always get the dog you want, you get the dog you need.  And one thing is clear, Boeing needs you two and, from afar, it appears you need him😉   Boeing is showing  you, regardless of the emotions and "frustrations" you have felt with him initially,  he's only feeling stability,  contentment and yes, love.  

  Excuse me for crossing the line here, okay.  It's just that  I've seen this play out before on the site when our Spirit Angel's send a foster child that usually is a bit of a "problem" at first, only to realize down the road they were meant to be exactly who they needed.  No one else would do.

So just wondering  if you would reconsider  fostering him a bit longer and not give him away yet.  I just can't  shake off the way he ran away....then came only to you and hopped in the car and then relished in jotmto be back "home".  Not trying to interfere, but just think he's not ready to be adopted out yet.  

Okay, I'll drop the facade and wuite trying to be diplomatic........I can't  help but hope this becomes a foster fail!!!!!

Hugs

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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1 September 2022 - 5:11 pm
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LOL Sally had the guts to say what I didn't. What a story!

Dogs pick us, we don't pick them. Boeing knew exactly who he needed right now in this time of his life. While you may not be his forever home, right now, he knew you needed a snuggly dog who has loads of love to give when you need it most. He's showing you that it's OK to grieve, and still have a best buddy around to lessen the load. He's one wise doggie. 

Keep us posted OK? 

Calgary, Alberta
Member Since:
18 January 2022
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7 October 2022 - 6:08 pm
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Sorry I disappeared for awhile, so we did end of continuing to foster Boeing and he found a new home! 

Sadly we got a message the other day saying Boeing wasn't doing well at this new home of his, he was becoming aggressive and scared and didn't trust his new owner. Due to this I have a feeling that owner is seeking assistance for training programs, but I also feel he may return Boeing to the foster program.

Lad (the first cat) found a loving home and we now have another kitten named Swoop, who has spine issues but is a complete sweet heart. She is thought to have hip dysplasia, but we personally think she was bit at a young age bye a dog or something over that size (she had bald spots in the shape of a bite mark).

Swoop had a series of chest infections so we nursed her back to health and she is new going up for adoption soon!

Now's it's been two months without Gabe and we still a struggle daily. We both are missing him dearly, but my work came together and sponsored a kennel at our local shelter in Gabriel's name, and we have a tree being planted at Gabriel's Favorite park and will be putting up a plaque as well. Really looking forward to that! 

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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7 October 2022 - 9:56 pm
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You are honoring Gabe in so many life affirming ways.  Lovely that a tree will be planted  and that he has a kennel named after him.  Very sweet.

The kitties you are fostering have no idea how lucky they are.

It saddens me to know Boeing has not found hisfurever home yet.  It's still so early for him to understand  exactly what's going on so it doesn  surprise  me he's "acting out". He went from the shelter, to the foster, to running away and only would coe to you and then to another home again.  All this in a matter of weeks(?).

Do you think you and your husband would be open to fostering him again?  It just doesn't  sound like where he is now is a good fit and not something a"trainer" could"fix".  I fear he may start to become too damaged emotionally going  back and forth and especially  being in a home now where he's fearful and not trusting.  

You are doing so much good for Swoop and then helping to fet Lad adopted too.  Tha k you for all the wonderful care you are giving your fosters.  It takes a special Soul with a huge heart to so this.💖

Thanks for checking  in.  We would love to see a picture of the tree you plant in Gabe's honor.

Hugs

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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111
8 October 2022 - 12:57 pm
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Hi Cameron! No need to apologise, it's just great hearing from you whenever! 

I love that you are helping so many animals, it's Gabe's spirit shining through your hearts and allowing you to not only get other animals into the right homes but healing your souls too. Sponsoring a kennel is a wonderful idea! I can bet that every dog who stays in it will be comforted by Gabe's loving spirit too.

That is such a bummer about Boeing. I hope that his current humans will continue to be patient, at least they didn't automatically return him. But, what IF they do, would you consider him again? Lol no pressure! 

Calgary, Alberta
Member Since:
18 January 2022
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112
18 October 2022 - 4:16 pm
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Unfortunately, Boeing did get returned to the shelter, There are a few other foster families already lined up to help him out so that is good to see. Right now we are babysitting two lovely dogs for 10 days for a friend so we cannot help Boeing out as I feel the house would be too much for him!
If Boeing continues to have trouble with his fosters I would be willing to step in and foster him long-term until he feels safe and stable again, but I cannot commit to adoption at this current time, we really only may adopt a senior dog who needs a home in a dire situation I think.

Swoop is still in "Our"care, she is with my partner's parents and her parents love Swoop. And my co-worker is already interested in potentially adopting swoop!

Yeah, the kennel was a nice surprise! and Gabes Tree will go in next spring and be planted by the city!
We also are considering adopting senior shepherds if we need to or if they need help or rescue from a kill shelter or something.
It's all a growing period for us, right now we still are adjusting to Gabriel no longer being here and it has been tough on myself and my partner,her and I are still learning how to cope.

Had a friend send some amazing photos of Gabe this week and I loved them, was so nice to see his face and spirit captured by another photographer.

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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113
19 October 2022 - 11:48 am
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Oh poor Boeing. But yeah, at least there are people who are interested and want to help him be the dog he can be. You guys set him off on the right path to get there. Stay true to where your heart is right now, it makes total sense to be cautious and careful with what you take on.

I love that you want to maybe adopt senior Shepherds! Our Nellie has been the light of our life since we got her during summer. She didn't have a chance at the shelter (she's probably 7 or 8), and it makes all of us happy knowing she is forever safe and loved.

If you get a chance share those photos of Gabe, we'd love to see them!

Calgary, Alberta
Member Since:
18 January 2022
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17 November 2022 - 11:20 pm
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We may still foster some older shepherds! 

Right now we are missing Gabriel, and giving him space and respect. We do have two kittens now, but space for a dog is something we do not have right now. 

Today we found out a Vaccine we sought to get for Gabriel was approved Nov 8th, almost 3 months after Gabriel's passing. It is a promising Vaccine for dogs with Osteosarcoma from Yale that has been in a waiting period for years. 

It feels like if we had just maybe tried harder, and Gabriel could have just held on for a bit more he could have had a better chance. It feels like I have failed him, because maybe if we really pushed harder for him we could have got him this vaccine while he was alive. 

It's resurfaced all those feelings again. I miss him, I miss him so much and I'm still not sure what I am doing without him here. I just feel like a shell. 

Here's a photo my friend Arpad took of Gabe with a fun wide angle lens 

Image Enlarger

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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18 November 2022 - 11:35 am
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Hi Cameron,

Darn, the photo isn't showing up. Message me if I can help.

I think it's so important to follow your hearts and respect what they're telling you about whether or not to bring another dog into your life right now. You'll know when you are ready, and it will make Gabe's spirit so happy when that day comes. Until then, it takes time to find out who you are without your dog by your side.

Jim and I spent nearly two years before we brought Nellie into our life, knowing that we had to get some things out of our system before committing. In our case, we became long-distance runners because we could be away as long as we wanted, and that enabled us to check some bucket list things off our list. Once we did, we were ready and life with a dog resumed (and for us it's been great). My suggestion to help you feel more grounded in your own skin is to think about things you've always wanted to do on your own or with your partner, and do them. Make a list of things to do before you get another dog, tackle that list as far as you want to take it. You may or may not finish, but along the way you'll find out more about yourself/ves. 

And you did everything you possibly could for Gabriel, please don't beat yourself up. He knew how much he was loved, he knew that he was your world. And that in the end is all any dog ever wants. You did right by him.

Oh about that vaccine, I found this information but can't find anything about market approval. Can you share some links in our Tips and Resources topic? Thank you! 

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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116
25 November 2022 - 9:13 pm
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It hurts my heart to think you feel like you couldnt do enough for Gabriel.  Although, we understand  the feeling and emotions  that rise to the top when reading  about a possible, (emphasis on possible)  that only  adds to the "if only---  what if" that we all feel for one reason or another.   The reason may not ve the same as yours, but the second guessing envelops with sadness and guilt.  Yeah, we get it. Your devotion  and bond with Gabriel  knew  no limits.  That's  very clear to us!

Treat yourself  like you would some other member here.  You would reassure them they did EVERYTHING  possible.   You would also reassure them that "vaccines with promising  results" are no guarantees at all.  And often "requirements " for such a program eliminate  a lot of dogs as candidates.   I'm not pooh  poohing this vaccine at all, as I know nothing about it.  Just making these FWIW comments observing  other "promising this or that".  Also, in some cases where a trial vaccine was tried, no measurable difference in the outcome  resulted.

Bottom line, to spend negative  energy  on regrets that are so disempowering keeps you from fully immersing  yourself in all the happy memories  with you and Gab.  And Gabriel would not ever want you to be distracted from all the great memories he forged with you.

Keep us posted o. Boeing.   Hoping a good foster helps him get adopted. 

To add another  twist or perspective  to Jerry having you make a bucket  list of things you'd like to do while dog free. Also, make a list of when " you know you will be ready for another dog".  Just an exercise I think you'll find revealing.

To me, and this is just me, there is no greater way to honor our Spirit dogs than to bring another dog into our hearts. I read somewhere  a dog would feel like that had "failed as a good dog" if we didn't  bring  another into our lives.  Gab will always own a corner of your heart and a space in your memories.   No dog replaces another. they just add to a hooman's endless capacity  to love.because  our dogs bring that out in us like no others can.  For me, I can love a dog and grieve for another at the same time,  Endless grief is not a measure of the depth of  our love for our dogs, celebrating  the time we had together is what they want us to do.

Okay, I'm rambling  and have no ideaa what I just wrote,so I'll just hit reply and move on!!

((((((((Hugs))))))))

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Calgary, Alberta
Member Since:
18 January 2022
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117
6 December 2022 - 2:38 pm
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Oh, I am sorry you cannot see the photo!
Let me make a shared album with them and link it, I can see it in the thread so I am not too sure what happened there. 
https://photos......6FEJ8Sath7

There we are!

So Boeing has gone to another foster home, which I am quite happy to hear because he was a sweet sweet boy and he just needed a soft approach. We have cut ties with that foster organization as they mishandled an animal we were watching and then blamed us so we don't want to deal with them anymore (And sadly it isn't the first time they have seemingly done this to people).

We may get a dog sooner than later, but, we do now have two kittens that are ours. It is a complete change of pace and a completely different kind of life than I am used to. Cats are amazing, and they are fantastic companions they give you space to be and are very easy to take care of!
Ambrose and Nori are their names.

Thank you all, Gabriel was our soul dog, he was our soulmate and we still dearly miss him. Today marks 4 months since he passed and today has been a tough day without him... I miss the walks in the -30 and taking his photo and watching him in the snow. He made the cold snowy days that much better with his positive attitude and sheer joy of life and living in the moment. 

I appreciate this group a lot, it is one of the few places where I can get my thoughts out.

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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7 December 2022 - 11:11 am
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Ohhhh now we see the photos. sp_hearticon2sp_hearticon2sp_hearticon2What good times! He looks soooo happy there. And seeing him interact with the other dogs in that one photo just says so much about that day. Your friend captured the essence of Gabe and that moment. There was so much love and joy there, no wonder his loss leaves such a giant void in your life right now! It's not an easy thing to replace, nor could you ever. Those snowy days are always made better with a dog to get us outside and enjoy the season. Gabe knew exactly how to help you be mindful and present. Now the hard part is doing it when he is not physically there by your side. I think if you remind yourself that he is everywhere, and still very much part of your heart, it could be a little easier to get through those tough moments.

Hard to believe 4 months has gone by. It's weird the way time moves so slow and so fast. How is that even possible?!

I'm sorry the fostering didn't work out. At least Boeing is in good hands again. Ugh. Rescues can be challenging to work with sometimes. Sounds like a break is the right thing to do.

So Ambrose and Nori are yours 100%, not fosters? Lucky kitties! We would love to see photos. Someday I'd like to give cat parenthood a try. They are so mysterious to me, I'd love to get to know them better and be their slave!

We appreciate you too Cameron, and we totally get where you are coming from. These holidays we are in the middle of don't make coping with loss any easier, so anytime you want to reflect and remember your sweet Gabe, we are ready to be part of that moment. 

(((hugs)))

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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119
8 December 2022 - 8:50 am
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We are all better for the privilege  of getting to know  Gabe.  Such a  privilege to  observe  from  the  side lines the beautiful  and unbreakable bond you have with Gabe.  And always remember  it IS unbreakable. 

Thanks so much for sharing  those wonderful photos.  Truly a one of a kind fella'♥️

(((((((Hugs)))))))

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Calgary, Alberta
Member Since:
18 January 2022
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120
4 April 2023 - 5:57 pm
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Appreciate all the support here everyone!
I came back randomly as I had a bookmark on my computer for Gabriel's Cancer studies and Therapy/Tripawd support things.
It's been 8 months since he passed, and life kind of fell to pieces without him here. 

Yes!
Nori and Ambrose are 100% our Cats. Cats are a mystery to me still, but I will admit they are adorable and sweet. But sadly they aren't dogs. Dogs have my heart. 

But referring to above, when Gabe passed it left a huge void in my partner and I's relationship. We always had him together, I met her when she had Gabe. I think we both had a feeling near the end that Gabe was a big part of what kept us together as we had been together for 11 years. 
We separated, and she moved on to another relationship immediately from ours.
It is unfortunate, to lose Gabe and then my partner of 11 years in less than 6 months, Lifes been shit since we heard about Gabe's Cancer. 
Today a song came on while I walked back to work from the dentist, and my emotions opened again like a floodgate. 

Coping with loss of Gabe, and then the ending of the most important relationship in my life has taken a bit of a toll. I do go to therapy (I started when we found out about Gabe's cancer), but sometimes venting helps. I guess that is why I am here. I have friends and family supporting me which I am immensely grateful for, but it all still feels hollow with Gabe here, and sometimes it feels like I pester them by discussing how I feel and my life all the time.

I know this isn't a place for therapy, but I never imagined the loss of Gabe would take such a toll on us. 
I suppose my mistakes caught up to me, and that alongside Gabe's passing created a big gap between my partner and me. Which can take time to heal, or perhaps we never will get back to that relationship we once had. 

I suppose when it rains it pours.
Sometimes you need to sit with the feelings and process them. 
I appreciate anyone who read this, and if you are going through a loss of a pet, I see you and wish you nothing but the best and all the happiness you can find. 

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