Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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This grieving stuff sucks! Yesterday marked 6 weeks since letting Leland go to get his angel wings. I was not feeling well yesterday afternoon so I left work a little early. I finally get home after making a stop at the grocery store and Lucian had an accident in the crate (peed)...which in and of itself isn't that big of a deal and an easy clean up. I get Lucian outside where he pees some more.
I'm putting away groceries and notice Lucian is being too quiet. I find he has pooped in the bedroom (and of course it's mushy as puppy poop goes back and forth). So now I'm trying to get the towels out of the crate that were peed on plus the poop cleaned up and all the while I'm about ready to vomit because of the smell (remember I'm not feeling well) and Lucian is running around like an idiot. I get the towels downstairs to put in the wash and I turn around and Lucian has pooped again on a throw rug. So back up the stairs I go to get the cleaning supplies to clean it up and keep Lucian from stepping in it.
By this point I'm getting frustrated and upset. I start crying because I miss Leland so much and if he was still here I wouldn't be going through all this now with cleaning up one mess after another. So I go back to the bedroom to vacuum up all the rice from Lucian's food that he felt the need to throw out on the floor. He wants up on the bed so I sit him up there and he's usually good. But not this time...he decides he wants to check out stuff on the night stand where I have a glass of Coke sitting and he knocks it over. I just lose it and start screaming like a crazy person at this puppy. I'm sobbing while trying to clean up this soda mess and he's just looking at me.
My husband finally gets home and looks at me and asks what's wrong. I just start crying again and tell him about all the messes I've had to clean up since being home and that I just miss having Leland. He said he completely understood because he had a hard day as well and just started crying on the job site he was working at.
I feel so guilty for screaming at Lucian and my husband made a good point in that Lucian didn't ask to come to this house. Lucian has done really well for being no older than he is and I know he's still just a baby. I know I have to keep it together to get through this puppy phase but sometimes it's just hard and I wish Leland was still here with us.
Grieving the loss of Leland has been one of the hardest things to go through in my life thus far. I can say I've not felt this much heartache with the passing of family members (grandparents) which seems odd to me.
Leland my sweet boy...thank you for sending Lucian to us (he's full of antics and mischief) but we still miss you and wish you were here.
Sahana and her Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
Sahana... I get it... first.... breathe.. and second.... remember that Leland was a puppy once too!! Eventually Lucian will be a mature adult and there will be a day when you miss those puppy antics!!
Puppies are... puppies.. they learn.. they investigate and sometimes their bellies give them rumbles and sometimes they have accidents. My Wilson still had an ocassional "poop" accident if you left him too long. After all, they can only hold it for so long.... But know what? It's only poop.... Shit happens... KaKa occurs.... and I know that the poop is forgotten when those big brown eyes look up at you because YOU are Lucian's family... his leader.. his teacher. And Coke? well whose nose could not refuse going to sniff that sweet stuff because it is probably not a usual scent that is up near your bed and table... so he has to investigate.
Rice on the floor.. do you feel Lucien in his crate? I only fed Wilson his breakfast in the crate in the morning as part of our routine... and then he was let out at lunch time and he would usually do his business.... then no food till suppertime in the kitchen. Maybe there is something that is going through Lucien's system quicker? Maybe he needs longer outside to get in the pooping mood?
It will work out.. you know it.... just breathe...
Christine... with Franklin in her heart♥
Franklin, he was the Happiest Dog on Three Legs! Diagnosed 09/26/2012 with Osteosarcoma, amputated 12/4/2012. Had a wonderful 5 1/2 months painfree until he ran for the Bridge on 5/15/2013. Always in my heart, and always a guardian angel of my pack... You can follow his Tripawd Adventures, before and after, in my blog, Frank'n'Farter!
I get it ... OH do I get it. And your husband is very astute ... I should remember that when Jasper p!sses me off ... she didn't 'choose' to come live w/me. I picked her.
It also helps me to remember that Shelby was far from perfect for many, many, MANY years. LOL. In fact, in hindsight, Jasper is a far better dog after this amount of time together vs when Shelby and I had been together. Oh was Shelby a holy terror. ..I could go on and on.
But I get it - it is hard that they don't come to us wrapped in neat little packages of perfection! 
I am with you - I haven't grieved this hard since the loss of my father who was akin to Shelby in that I was the apple of his eye and he was the most important person in my life... it's torturous and sad and feels like it will never ease up ... but it does. Six weeks is still so very fresh... I can recall where I was at 6 six weeks ... it was just past a month but not quite 2 months.
But Lucian WILL get better ... that much is true ... he's still getting to know you also.
Sending you so much love and hugs!
Alison with the Spirit of Shelby fur-ever in her heart (and little Jasper too )
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
You re not alone, Sahana......so many times lately, I have to catch myself from yelling at my pup Pearl, because she IS still a pup and learning, but the lingering heartache from losing my Polly is the blame, but should not be........Sometimes, we still have those bad days, where everything seems to go wrong, and then the emotional pain on top, is too much to deal with. I thankfully, can usually catch and stop myself from yelling at Pearl, because I know that she misses Polly too. But I still always say calmly to Pearl at times, "My Polly never did this"....... she just wags her tail and I kiss her nose.
Hang in there, eventually you will get to a place of peace and calm, the heartache will always be there, but the intense part of the pain will ease.......it has only been 6 weeks, so you just need to give yourself all the time you need to come to terms with everything......trust me, you will.....
Keeping you in my thoughts......
Love,
Bonnie & Angel Polly
Dear Sweet Sahana and Hubby..........Grief just sucks!!! Missing Leland hurts soooooo badly. he heartbreak is there...sometimes more subdued.than others...sometimes.it flares up like a raging flood and you feel like you will drown in never ending sadness.
Leland is such a MAGNIFICENT presence in your lives...we felt the magnitude of his heart, his strength and his gentleness through the computer. Oh my goodness, what a huge Being of Light he is!!!!!! Leland would not be denied living his life with joy, love and will...such a strong willed by....no indeedy!
Leland loved every second of his life with you...every second. Leleand took every ounce of that all encompassing love you infused in his soul with him.......and the love he showered you with is immersed in your souls forever! It is there and can NEVER be taken from you!
Leland surrounds you with a lifetime of happy memories.....those are.the ones he wants you to remember. Ones like the time he was just a few days from recovering from the leg amp.....he saw a neighbor and took off running pulling your husband behind!! Yeah, Leland is still laughing about that one!!
And I'm not convinced that Leland didn't have a paw in Lucian peeing and pooping all day yesterday! He may have thought it would be a great diversionary tactic to keep you so preoccupied with cleaning up you didn't have time to be sad!!! Sounds like it may have worked just a rouch...maybe? Hey Lucian, thanks for taking one for the team!
Sahana, sending you extra hugs and love. You are doing such a stellar job of keeping the WONDERFUL legacy of Leland alive here! The courage and compassion you have shown by staying here and helping others makes Leland sooooo proud! Leland will NEVER be forgottne here! He is such a hero!!! Shuch a HERO! Thank you Leland for being you!
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thank you all so much for your support. This is why I love this community and continue on because everybody needs a little support from time to time.
Sally,
Leland may have had a paw in all the pooping going on yesterday with Lucian. Leland used to get diarrhea something awful when he was a pup (we finally figured out it was food sensitivities to grains) and even as an adult. I would just clean it up and get out the steam cleaner. I never just went off the deep end over poop like I did yesterday. Lucian sure did take one for the team but I think he forgives me.
Christine,
I feed Lucian in the kitchen but being a pup he tends to "graze" than eat all his food at once. So I put a little of what he hadn't finished eating into a bowl and put it in the crate with him so he can continue his grazing if he wants. Either me or my husband comes home at lunch to let Lucian out to go potty and then it's back in the crate till we get back home. We hate crating him but know it's a necessity right now or we wouldn't have a house to come home to...lol. Once he's older (and out of the chewing phase) we'll leave him out in the house as we did Leland and Lucky. I know his insides are smaller and there will be accidents until he gets older and has more control.
Alison,
You are sooo right in that they are not neat little packages of perfection. Leland had his moments when he was a puppy. He literally was eating the house. We suspect he was dealing with separation anxiety because of all the destruction he caused. Lets see...he ate the skirting around the bottom of a couch, he ate the cushion up on another couch, he ripped the front out of my husband's recliner and pulled it across the basement, and the best part he ate a trench through the seam in our carpeting from one end of the basement to the other. Add on top of that all the diarrhea and he was a "hot mess"...he's lucky my husband didn't kill him...lol.
Bonnie,
Thank you for your calming words of wisdom. After yesterday I will need to remember that Leland wasn't perfect when he first came to us and neither will Lucian. I will be so happy when peace and calm finally settles over me and this miserable heartache lessens.
Again...thank you all so much and Lucian thanks you too for helping his mom get her head on straight again.
Sahana and her Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
I am sorry you are not feeling well. That just adds to the emotions. Yeah, 6 weeks, it is still early and fresh. I think there is a time in all puppyhood experience that we think to ourselves, What in the heck have I done? Puppies are notoriously messy. It is hard to remember once they are grown. I think it is just extra hard because we want our dogs back so badly. I think maybe Sally is right, the poop was a diversion to keep you busy. I know if I am at home, sometimes the pain is so much more. We are at 15 weeks since we lost Ty and it does slowly get better. I still miss him terribly, but the really bad days are getting further apart. Hang in there! Love from, Lori and Ty
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Oh I get all of that try 2 at one time. There are some days I just want to crawl into bed and just bawl my eyes out. Totally get the Angelversaries too.
Everyone has provided such great advice to you. The major thing is this. You weren't feeling good so the added pressures of puppyhood just added to that. He doesn't hold it against you. Trust me. He forgot it. He is ready to cuddle (and do it all over again 🙂 ) you just have to sometimes laugh. Maybe not that day or the next but a couple.
I will share a story with you but have to get the girls & Bosch out. More later
Hugs
Michelle & Angel Sassy
Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013
05/04/2006 - Bosch, Sassy's pal, earned his wings 03/29/19 fought cancer for 4 months.
"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."
I think part of the frustration is that we want back the 'normal' in our lives, that was a big thing for me after Maggie passed. She had been so sick and such a handful for the last three months I was just exhausted with the routine. I wanted dogs who would eat what you gave them, and could go out when they needed to go (we have a dog door) and be able to walk to the park without pushing a stroller. She was a long time tri-pug, so it wasn't that, it was how sick she was at the end.
I think you are all a little touched to start with a puppy 
. I still had Tani who was then 9 and completely lost on her own. I know, I thought, I'll get an older pug! I'll get a boy so they will get along better, and surely he would be housebroken. I've never met a pug who wasn't outgoing and friendly with all people and most dogs. What could go wrong?
4 year old pug boy Obie. He would have accidents in the house because he was afraid to go outside by himself. He learned the dog door in 5 min, but he needed me to go with him outside. Maggie never needed that. He didn't like grass, wouldn't walk on it. Maggie used to sleep in the sun in the grass for hours. He didn't like water- wouldn't touch it, usually won't even drink it. Maggie used to wade in the creek and attack the hose. He was afraid of pretty much everything that moved, I think he would run from grasshoppers. Maggie got along with all dogs, cats and people. Mag and Tani were inseparable, Tani didn't really like Obie.
Part of the grieving process is getting used to our new normal. We want our pups back, we want our lives back the way they were. The new pup in our lives is a constant reminder of what we lost in a way. I'm not saying it's wrong to get another dog, I adopted Obie just 5 weeks after Mag left, and I still had Tani. Consciously I knew it wasn't fair to do comparisons, but there is that desire for normal, for the good old days that made me constantly say 'Maggie never did that'.
6 weeks is soooo early in the grief process, a tiny fraction of the time Leland was part of your life. It does get better, Lucian will grow up, there will be a new normal. It takes time, you will get there.
Karen and Spirit Maggie
Tri-pug Maggie survived a 4.5 year mast cell cancer battle only to be lost to oral melanoma.
1999 to 2010
Sahana,
I can so relate to your story - sorry to hear you were not feeling well - that never helps.
I remember feeling so overwhelmed when Boots came along (she is now 15 months old) - and she came along only a month after Peda left. There are so many times in the last year that I have been in tears - and just wishing Peda was still here. Boots has not been the easiest of pups - and I've still got some issues with toilet training 
(which is incredibly frustrating).
In more recent times I have been thinking back to when Peda and Neo were puppies. I came across some old puppy photos and I remember how much trouble they both were - they were terrible puppies!! The destruction they caused (I still can see their damage on some of my furniture - the partly chewed cushion on my favourite chair, and the chewed bookshelves! ... not to mention all the things that had to get thrown away). I think that if I consider things objectively, they were both much harder work than Boots. It was just that I got used to having mature grown up sensible dogs - who just knew what to do. Boots is getting there - and I know that some days I already miss her baby puppy antics! It's an interesting and challenging journey we experience with our dogs - and they all bring something different to our lives.
I feel guilty sometimes because I say things like 'Peda would love to be doing this ...' or 'Peda would never have done that ...'. I feel that it is not always fair on Boots. Having said that - in more recent times I am realising that sometimes when I am comparing, it is in the light of something positive Boots has done (that Peda never did). That's actually kinda nice. Boots gives me the most amazing cuddles - and tries to be a lap dog (she does well considering she is over 40kg and almost half my height when standing next to me) - it is so wonderful! (Peda was not really very cuddly at all - but was just happy to sit next to me).
I seem to be slowly making peace with the fact Peda is no longer here - and accepting everything Boots is bringing to my life (even the frustration and poop!). The grief we go through (after having been on the tripawd journey) is a tough one.
Hang in there - it does get better ... it changes over time ... but it is hard. Be gentle and kind with yourself and just know that this is a process we all go through (although we each experience it differently) - we understand how tough it can be.
*hugs*
Kirsty, Angel Peda and Naughty Boots
Love getting to.know Boots!
Love getting to know Obie!
Delightful stories.on these two!
And look.forward.to knowing Lucian better too!
And Michelle..........TWO PUPPIES AT.ONCE!!!!! .There has to be and award for that!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
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