Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I know I posted a short note earlier that Alexander's time had come, and I want to thank everyone for their thoughts, prayers and support.
We knew Alexander's time was coming but this morning he let us know it was time to say goodbye. He was in pain and the Tramadol just wasn't cutting it anymore.
We took him to his vet's office and his two regular techs, from Chemo, came and met us even though it was their day off. They helped us gert him out of the car and Alexander hopped on into the office with his head held high. His dignity was so important to me. Once we got him settled in the room on a big comfy bed with blankets, they gave us some time alone with him. I looked at him and told him he didn't have to be strong anymore, he could stop fighting. My husband, Kevin and I hugged him, kissed him and told him what an amazing boy he was. We then said ok, it was time. I layed down on the floor with him (love spooning with a Great Dane), and held him close. I felt his spirit leave that broken body, I knew it the moment it happened. He was free.
One thing I did not expect was how much I didn't want to be there right after. It was like, he was not there anymore, just that broken body, which I loved, but it was no longer him....really hard to deal with.
We are home now, and this is so difficult. I find myself glancing in his usual spots and it is like a punch in the stomach every time I don't see him and have to remember he is gone......
I am devastated, crying and a complete mess. I don't think I have ever felt pain like this before. I just don't even know what to do. And I find myself a little angry AT myself for being a bit relieved that this is over for him.
Alexander loved us unconditionally, he trusted us and gave so much joy and happiness to us....I do not have one single regret, from amputation to Chemo, to even saying goodbye today. We fought the good fight.
Rest in Peace my beloved Xander.
Alexander The Great Dane
Suspected Osteosarcoma July 12
Diagnosed Officially 7/16/2010
Amputated 7/27/2010
Became Spirit Xander 2/20/2011
Rest in peace Xander, you fought the battle well. And to Xanders pawrents... it is ok to be a bit relieved that for him it is over.
Coopsdad
Coopsdad/ Kenneth Blackburn
http://cooper.t.....ipawds.com
the monkeydogs only THINK they have invaded the tripawd state
Thank you for sharing these intimate details and your personal feelings at such a difficult time. It is certain to help others prepare when their time comes to make the same gut-wrenching decisions.
It's OK to feel the way you do, it's all part of the acceptance process. Please know that you are not alone.
Peace.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Dear Xander's Family,
Coop's Dad is right--most people feel some sense of relief when the fight is done. It doesn't mean you're bad people or that you did anything wrong (of course not). It just means you are relieved Xander isn't in distress anymore and that you don't have to live in constant anxiety that you might be missing something, or that maybe this therapy might help, or...on and on. Everyone who has lost a pet this way know the feeling, and it's normal. Living in constant worry is not, though, so it wears you out.
Also very normal is looking to see them and not finding them there. Many, many people (including me) have caught a glimpse out of the corner of their eye of their companion, after they were gone. We look for them and they aren't with us any longer, but I swear sometimes we see them going around the corner of a room. If they do in fact check in on us to see how we're doing, then how special is that? And if it's just a trick of our emotions, well, it shows how very loved and missed they are.
--Shari
From abandoned puppy to Tripawd Warrior Dude, Dakota became one of the 2011 February Furballs due to STS. Our incredibly sweet friend lived with grace and dignity till he impulsively raced over the Bridge on 12-15-12.
Dakota's thoughtful and erudite blog is at http://shari.tr.....pawds.com/
I'm so sorry for your loss. It's so hard to know how to feel when you're so overwhelmed by the pain and emptiness, but all of those emotions are so right. You've spent so many months, and especially the past few weeks worrying about Alexander and taking such loving care of him, now he is pain free and at peace. I think that knowledge is a relief and one to be embraced. I hope your wonderful memories of him are comforting. You will all be in my thoughts.
Cynthia
I am so sorry for your loss. Alexander was such a brave, strong boy right up until the end. It sounds like you knew when it was time to let him go and that was the best thing you could do for him.
Hugs,
Michelle
You guys did a wonderful job managing Xanders' cancer. Know that, understand that and you will understand any guilt you may feel is irrational. Let the grieving process run its' course without guilt, you did everything possible and Xander knows that. Our little guy Alex is only now having issues four months post surgery. I prepared myself for the worst @ the Vets office Friday and I started feeling and remembering all the emotions you described. Most of us here know exactly what you are going through and the emotional exhaustion attached. But at some point Spirit Xander will find a way to let you guys know he is just fine. Not the usual way with a nudge of his nose, off key bark or just appearing with his favorite toy in his mouth to play. But he will let you know just the same. Bless you…
Shannon,
I know you will come to realize that the feelings of relief are normal. For me it was because I was so worried that I would not see when Maggie was ready, and because as others have said- the last part of this cancer journey is so intensely focused on every breath our pups take. Relief is a normal feeling when months of pent up pressure are let go.
The strength you gained from the journey with Xander will help you through this difficult time. You will find peace in knowing you did your best for him, right up to letting him go today. There is nothing to do now but grieve and miss your boy.
Sending strong and peaceful thoughts your way.
Karen
We are so sorry, this is such a tremendous loss for you and everyone here.
Our hearts go out to you and your family. Saying goodbye is such a devastating thing to experience, and all it takes is time to help get through this. I know that doesn't help now though. I wish we could do more.
Please know you did right by Xander, and allowed him to keep his dignity up until his last breath. In its own tragic way, it's the greatest thing a pawrent can do for their beloved pup. It hurts like hell, but you did the honorable thing. You were as strong and courageous as he was, and he will repay you a thousand times over by always staying strong in your heart.
Our love, our hugs, our sincere condolences are being sent your way. However we can help ease the pain, please let us know. We are here for you always.
Run free Xander, our Tripawd Angels are waiting for you.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
I am so, so incredibly sorry Xander. I can't hold back the tears as I read your final goodbye story. It's a heartache pain that almost can't be explained and yet it doesn't need to be explained.
Xander was so very loved and gave so much in return. The memories are what gets us through these dark days. The happy moments that only the two and the three of you shared will soften this dark day.
I felt a sense of relief also with Comet. We were so devoted to each other - hardly ever being apart from each other in 12 years since I was with her 24/7. I was and am devastated beyond any words that I can come up. But I was and am at peace.
I asked my mom about this feeling of being relieved because my dad lived 8 years beyond his life expectancy and she never knew when his heart would finally give out. I wanted to know how she felt when he did finally collapse one day and died. She said she was relieved but with most incredible sense of loss anyone can imagine. For 8 years she and him had to live life with this horrible cloud over them. He was only 44 years old when he died. The stress of not knowing is almost unbearable. So, it is a normal feeling. So please don't feel that your emotions are wrong.
Please know, and I sincerely means this - if you'll come back here and be amongst friends who understand your pain and loss of your beautiful Alexander boy, it will help tremendously. I know.
Again, I'm so very sorry.
My deepest and most sincerelest condolences,
Hugs to you and your husband.
Comet's mom
Comet - 1999 to 2011
She departed us unexpectedly January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.
She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.
I am incredibly saddened to know Alexander is gone, but so understand it was time to make that decision. My thoughts are with you as you face your grief. May the beautiful memories of the past soon replace the pain you feel today.
RIP sweet Xander. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
I hope you find comfort in knowing Xander knew you were with him when he went, I think knowing that will give you comfort when you thnk about it the rest of your life, just as knowing you did everything you could to give him the best life he could have. I also had no regrets, and it is a good feeling at a bad time. Our thoughts are with you, Paws up, Spirit Gus and Dan
My buddy Gus had a left front amputation on April 7, 2010 and lived a great life until July 26,2010
I'm so sorry to hear of Xander's passing. Please know our thoughts are with you tonight.
I am so sorry to hear of Xanders passing. My sincere condolences.
Julie and Daisy
Daisy earned her wings on Oct 22, 2011 at 14 years old
She is now the official greeter at the rainbow bridge
Everyone is guaranteed a welcome sniff and Dalmatian smile
I am so deeply sorry for your loss. One can just tell from his photo what a beautiful, proud, noble and loving boy Xander was. Even when we know without a doubt that it's the right thing and the right time, it is so hard to say goodbye to loved ones.
Maybe not today or tomorrow or the coming days, but I know you will, down the road, find comfort in your memories; they are, after all, what keep our loved ones forever close.
Again, my deepest condolences.
Run free, Xander. You're in good company.
Catie -
Birthday – November 4 2003
Amputation – January 13 2010
Crossed the Bridge – June 2 2011
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