TRIPAWDS: Home to 12727 Members and 1458 Blogs.
HOME » NEWS » BLOGS » FORUMS » CHAT » YOUR PRIVACY » RANDOM BLOG

What can I expect? | Coping with Loss

JUMP TO FORUMS

Join The Discussion

Learn about life on three legs in the forums below. Browse and search as a guest or register for free to take advantage of member benefits:

  • Instant post approval.
  • Private messages to members.
  • Subscribe to favorite topics.
  • Join the Live Chat and more!

free tripawds account tripawds member log in

K9 Immunity Plus — Hope For Dogs With Cancer

Get help with Dr. Dressler’s Dog Cancer Kit

Tripawd Heroes Book

Tripawd Heroes Books

Tripawd Heroes books feature inspirational stories and photos of dogs loving life on three legs!




A A A

Please consider registering
Guest

Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

Register Lost password?
sp_Feed sp_PrintTopic sp_TopicIcon-c
What can I expect?
sp_NewPost Add Reply sp_NewTopic Add Topic
Member
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
7 March 2018
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
1
7 March 2018 - 6:03 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

A little introduction and back story. IF you are able to make it through (it’s quite the novel) – please keep in mind we lost our beloved 15 yo Maltese, Samson, on September 4th, 2017 to congestive heart failure. 

Lilly Rose is 11. She’ll (prayerfully) be 12 in May. Last October, we found ulcers developing on her cornea, and we had gunderson flap procedures on her eyes. The cost was a whopping $4,000 – but otherwise we were looking at painful ulcers and eventual blindness. It was a not brainer. Recovery was not ideal – she hated that stupid collar! However – she recovered well and we were able to save her vision. In January – she started limping and somewhat favoring her leg. She was still playful and would chase the ball (but only about 4 times before quitting whereas before she would go forever) and still play with her puppy sister. I’m the alarmist and my husband is way more laid back so I agreed to wait on it for 3 days. By day 3 – she wouldn’t put any weight on it. To the vet we go and they discovered she had a broken hip (my husband felt HORRIBLE and I felt guilty as I should have insisted – but I digress). They sent us home on Tramadol and to wait for a consult from another surgeon. That night was horrible – most likely from their moving the leg so much to take X-rays. The next morning – we got the call that the hip, while bad, was not the worst thing we were to face. She most likely had bone cancer. We were able to get morphine that definitely made her more comfortable and off to the surgeon the next morning. 

THAT was a morning! We were essentially given the choice of removing her leg or ending her life. WHAT a choice! I had no time to research outcomes, no time to process as we had to make an immediate decision because of her pain level. At a cost of $3,000 (no time to shop around – and honestly – not something that even crossed our minds at that moment) and we were told it would most likely only buy her about 6 months. Well, it was kind of a no-brainer and off went the leg! 

Recovery was horrible! She was supposed to remain kenneled and not allowed on furniture. Lilly was about 65 pounds prior to getting sick, and she is a PRINCESS. She sleeps with us, is allowed on furniture, pretty much whatever she wants. Well – she is never kenneled and was not a fan. I slept on the floor beside the kennel the first two nights but she still wasn’t having it. We gave up – picked her up and put her on couch and off, on bed and off, and she recovered nicely. 

She’s getting around like a champ – but we’ve been watching for signs of metastasizing into the lungs since early January. She coughed about two times on Monday and we knew in our hearts it wouldn’t be good news. And it wasn’t. Her lungs appeared clear in January and now have more than 6 clear tumors in her lungs and chest. We are absolutely devastated. We opted not to do chemo due to her age, felt she’s been through enough over the last few months, and because we would have to travel hours away at great expense to extend her life only by a few months. The doctor said she’s most likely looking at days or weeks rather than months. 

Funny thing – we actually bought a small lake-front house and are busy renovating it and I had so many plans and hopes and dreams that she would have a few months of enjoying the water. Even researched a special ladder for her to get out of the water and on to the dock. Found her a cute pink life jacket. And now to hear that she won’t ever get to swim in that lake is so hard. We are taking her down this weekend to at least let her put her feet in and maybe dream about chasing a duck or two. She can’t even go IN the house as it’s a dusty drywall mess.

With that said – what can I expect over the next few days and weeks? I promise to come back and share what we experienced when this is over. I’m kicking myself for not asking more questions of the vet – and don’t even know what questions I SHOULD be asking! He has given us pain meds (hydro and morphine) so we can manage pain when it comes. But this girl has probably been in so much pain for so long and we had no CLUE until she broke her hip. So – how will we know? 

The Rainbow Bridge

Forum Posts: 23910
Member Since:
25 April 2007
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
2
7 March 2018 - 7:46 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

Lilly Rose’s mom, welcome. We are so sorry. Cancer is a tough situation and when you’ve dealt with it at breakneck speed as you have, it’s even harder. You all must be exhausted and worried, especially after losing your Samson so recently. Lilly is a lucky girl to have such loving humans looking after her.

It stinks that the cancer came back so quickly. How we all wish we had more time and it seems like there is never enough, whether we have a month, a year, or longer. Being robbed of the time we dreamed about is a heartbreaker. 

Here’s the thing though: Lilly isn’t aware of what those x-rays revealed, nor does she know what those little coughs mean. We carry that burden for our animals. Meanwhile they go on living life to the fullest as always. It sounds to me like other than the cough, she is doing pretty well right? If so then it’s soooo important to remember to rejoice and celebrate that. Because as hard as it is for you to know the status of her disease, she isn’t worried. She is living moment to moment, making the most of each one she has been given. You have given her the gift of more good days with you, without pain. You took that brave step to proceed with amputation in order to buy her more time and what an amazing thing you have done! Right now, it’s time to celebrate that, as remember that the only way cancer can win is if we allow ourselves to get stuck thinking about the future or regretting the past, instead of celebrating the moment right in front of us. You can do this! Follow Lilly’s lead, Be More Dog , and you have kicked cancer’s butt (and made Lilly so proud of you in the meantime).

OK, so to answer your question about what to expect. All dogs are different but…Generally, coughing progresses to the point where a dog will need a cough suppressant, so be sure to ask your vet about that. She may lose her appetite and not want to do a whole lot as well. Over time as the mets grow, it makes breathing harder but there are things you can do to help ease the symptoms. Prednisone is a common prescription, sometimes Albuterol (an airways opener) and you can also look into a variety of natural remedies to help breathing after lung mets:

http://tripawds…..2/#p117552

This post may also help you learn more by checking out what others have experienced:

How do I know if my dog is breathing normally?

As someone who has been though this, my best piece of advice is to work with a hospice veterinarian right now so that when you know it’s her time to say goodbye, you are prepared. Don’t delay making decisions about when and where to part ways, you don’t want to have that agony of planning during the moment things are unfolding. And most importantly, keep in mind that saying goodbye “one day too soon, is better than one day too late.” It’s a hard thing to wrap your brain around but in all our years of being here, we see people having a harder time with their grief when they believe they waited too long, than those who believe they may have said goodbye a day too soon.

I hope this helps. Please know that we are here for you through all stages, so post anytime, call the Tripawds Helpline and remember that Lilly is a strong, amazing girl who is teaching you important lessons about life right now, so go have fun together and enjoy these precious days.

((((hugs))))

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
Latest Tripawds News
Read my story here.

Support the Tripawds Foundation!

Virginia
Member




Forum Posts: 16461
Member Since:
22 February 2013
sp_UserOnlineSmall Online
3
7 March 2018 - 9:57 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

jerry said

Here’s the thing though: Lilly isn’t aware of what those x-rays revealed, nor does she know what those little coughs mean. We carry that burden for our animals. Meanwhile they go on living life to the fullest as always. It sounds to me like other than the cough, she is doing pretty well right? If so then it’s soooo important to remember to rejoice and celebrate that. Because as hard as it is for you to know the status of her disease, she isn’t worried. She is living moment to moment, making the most of each one she has been given. You have given her the gift of more good days with you, without pain. You took that brave step to proceed with amputation in order to buy her more time and what an amazing thing you have done! Right now, it’s time to celebrate that, as remember that the only way cancer can win is if we allow ourselves to get stuck thinking about the future or regretting the past, instead of celebrating the moment right in front of us. You can do this! Follow Lilly’s lead, Be More Dog , and you have kicked cancer’s butt (and made Lilly so proud of you in the meantime).

((((hugs))))  

DITTO Jerry…especially the part I just highlighted.

There ARE things that can be done to keep your sweet Lilly comfortable AND enjoying her cute self for  ore time ro come!!   Lilly does not have a timeframe sta ped on her butt and she doesn’t care about days on a calendar AND SHE CERTAINLY DIDN’T HEAR A WORD THAT VET SAID!!

As Jerry said, other than a little cough it sounds like Lilly is doi g really well!  In fact, had that Vet not said “six months” , you probw would have discounted that cough completely!  Sometimes a cough is just a cough!

Many, many, many who dealt with mets, including Jerry, got great extended time.  Most were prescribed Prednisone and Tramadol.  The Pred helped with the breathing and any subsequent inflammation in the lungs.  And ic there was any discomfort, the Tramadol helped with that.  My Happy Hannah never developed a cough, so she never did take cough meds, but others here have.

So if you need a second opinion on her upcoming care, do seek thst out.  There are DEFINITELY thi gs that can be done for comfort and continued quality.  And check out Pred and Tramadol.  Of course, not a Vet and not giving Vet advice.

One of our Angel heros here, Sassy  Sugar Bear got seven months extended time with mets. 

In my Happy Hannah’s case, and in the case of many, there wasn’t any “pain” per se.  She did continue to get more and more tired.  She got exhausted fairly quickly.  But she had no problem being a couch potato and getting spoiling and tummy rubs and lots of treats!  For her, the tipping poiint was when I realized she wasn’t sleeping at night   I realized she couldn’t find a comfortable position where she could breathe more easily.  Sne was esting and wagging….but this dog would always eat and wag!!   But when she couldn’t sleep, that was when I knew she didn’t need to hang around anymore for me.

Just continue ti make every day count and stay in the moment!  Let NOTHING interfere with your time together NOW!!  You are still together and the amazing Lilly is feeling good!!

And ya’ know what??   You go on and take her to the lake and let her chzxe a duck and wear her little pink vest!   Lilly is still Lilly!   And she just may surprise you and have a lot of lake trips in her-! 

And we MUST have pictures-!!

Lots of love and hugs!

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Member
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
7 March 2018
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
4
7 March 2018 - 6:35 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

Thank you, Jerry and Benny55! I added Lilly Rose’s picture as an avatar. She is a gorgeous chocolate lab that stole our hearts from day one. I’ve had many dogs over the years and she is definitely the one to which all others will need to measure up – and will most likely fail. She is the PERFECT dog! She is on steroids and hydrocodone to help with cough (that she isn’t even doing). She literally coughed twice on Monday and hasn’t coughed again- and if we weren’t so worried about the Mets – we would have thought nothing of it. 

Looking at her – it’s crazy hard to imagine she’s sick! We are so devastated and waves of grief just take over and I can hardly process what we’re facing. 

Virginia
Member




Forum Posts: 16461
Member Since:
22 February 2013
sp_UserOnlineSmall Online
5
7 March 2018 - 7:46 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

Lily Rose really is stunning!!  Her gorgeous eyes come shining through!

It’s really, really important to continue to take Lily Rose’s lead!   She is showing you that, regardless of any “medical guesses”,  she is feeling very well.  Statistics and “guesses” just don’t take the individual dog into accpunt.

Certainly not the news a yone wants to hear and it’s only natural to feel kicked in the gut and to feel sad.  But the important thi g is to go ahead and acknowledge those feelins and then, as quickly as possible, move through them and back into the presenw with Lily Rose!  Not easy, but you will not regret it!  In fact, some say the only “regret” they have is “grieving” anead of time while their puls were still with them.  They felt like they wasted valuable time.

A dd you CLEARLY love Lily Rose sooooo much, you will, indeed, be able to stay in the moment with Lily and make every day the best day ever!!  Jist like eeverything a put this crazy joirnal, you will “deal with” whatever you are facing when you are faced with it.

Look at it this way, if Lily Rose had not gone through the amp. etc, a cough or two every now and then would mean nothing!  I’m not dismissing that the xray showed mets, and I’m not dismissing that osteo did happen.  Im just saying that, at this point to prematurely grieve while Lily is still being Lily, wastes valuable time to build more treasured memories.  

What are some of Lily Rose’s favorite foods?  Yeah, taking avput some of thr “forbidden” ones like .maybe a scoop of ice cream, or a cupcake!   Steak?  Cheeseburgers and Fries!!  Yeah, ahe should get some of those everyday!!

And you know what?  WE HEREBY DECLARE TODAY THE FIRST DAY TO START CELEBRATING LILY ROSE’S UPCOMING BIRTHDAY! 🙂 That means every ssngle day for the next two months she gets a present every day!!  A car ride, a steak, extra tummy rubs, counter surfing and getting into the trash and being told “good girl”, a cup cake, hand feeding cheese strings, ten minute massages three times a day, a new toy every day, a new bone, warm chicken every night….okay…..that’s just for starters!!
What else does Lily Rose like that we can add to the start of the most spectacular long lasting  birthday pawty evvvvvvvvvver!!

And take lots of lots of pictures!   With a “subject” this pretty, we can never have enough pictures! 🙂

Love and hugs!

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Member
Forum Posts: 2002
Member Since:
14 February 2016
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
6
8 March 2018 - 3:25 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

Unfortunately, it is really hard to know what to expect.  My Otis was doing so well that I gave him a bath the day before he died.  I had expected a decline over a month or more, but literally, that afternoon he began to show signs of distress.  Some dogs slowly decline over weeks or months.  And some dogs hop along for a very long time with occasional coughs.  

Otis - 106 pound lab/Dane mix, lost his right front leg to osteosarcoma on Febuary 9, 2016.  Four rounds of carboplatin completed in April, 2016.  Lung mets August 25, 2016.  Said goodbye too soon on September 4, 2016.   Lost his adopted sister, Tess, suddenly on October 9, 2016. likely due to hemangiosarcoma.  

Wherever they are, they are together.

Member
Forum Posts: 61
Member Since:
26 August 2017
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
7
20 March 2018 - 3:33 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

I like benny 55’s post.  DO IT!  If you can, enjoy every moment.  I filed for social security in November, early for me because I wanted to spend as much time with my Charlie as I could.  Well, I’m still waiting and working and he has passed.  So enjoy as much time as you can.  PICS and VIDS.  When he earns his wings it will be hard but you will be able to take comfort in all the time and enjoyment you will give him.

Best of luck.

Member


Forum Posts: 6471
Member Since:
21 May 2016
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
8
23 March 2018 - 5:05 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

My girl Eurydice was given a few days when I decided to do an X-ray and we found several tennis ball size mets in her lungs plus tons of other mets all over the place.

She started cortisone and diuretics (she had fluid in her lungs too) and that gave her a long extended period which the vets thought would not happen.

I became a strong believer in cortisone it is definitely worth asking your vet if he would consider it for your baby 

Big hugs and cuddles to your sweetie pie 😘😘😘🐮💫✨🌟🌹

Eurydice 77kg/170lb Great Dane limping end of April 2016, amputation (right front leg/osteosarcoma) 4 May 2016 6 courses of carboplatin followed by metronomic therapy, lung mets found 30 Nov 2016. 3 courses of doxorubicin, PET scan 26 Jan 2017 showed more mets so stopped chemo. Holistic route April 2017. Lung X-ray 5 May 2017 showed several tennis ball size mets, started cortisone and diuretics. Miss Cow earned her XXL silver wings 12 June 2017, 13 months and 1 week after amputation and 6 1/2 months after lung mets, she was the goofiest dawg ever and is now happily flying from cloud to cloud woof woofing away :-) 

Member
Forum Posts: 176
Member Since:
6 August 2016
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
9
24 March 2018 - 9:02 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

Hi,

So sorry for your loss of Samson and now your Sweet Lilly Rose’s cancer.  My sweet Ted was diagnosed in March of 2016 and he eventually developed lung mets in September of 2016.  He lasted about 2 moths after the tumors in his lungs were seen via X-ray.  He actually did very well until late in November when he became lethargic and started having trouble breathing.  At that point the decision was hard but clear.  We took him over the bridge peacefully on 30 November 2016.  It was a very hard thing to do and I was so scared, but he needed me to be strong for him and to be there with him.  I wouldn’t have had it any other way.  We are all here for you.

Wanda 

Member
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
7 March 2018
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
10
10 April 2018 - 10:49 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

We said our final goodbyes to Lilly Rose last night around 9:00pm. 

Lilly went downhill rapidly, but days to weeks turned into 5 weeks and we are so grateful for every minute of every day we had with her. I just wish it could have been thousands more. 

We took her to the lake and she ran around and even got in up to her tummy. She tired out super easily and towards the end couldn’t make it outside to use the bathroom, we had to carry her in and out, and up and down the stairs. 

Her last day, we think, was a painful day. About 2 weeks in she started coughing up blood. Back to the vet and he just prescribed additional cough and pain meds – but didn’t think she was in any pain. The coughing all but stopped, but so did her appetite. We tried canned dog food, Chick-fil-A nuggets (she got these DAILY) and chicken and rice. She would start with gusto and finish up and turn her head completely away quickly. 

The last day, she laid around and groaned with almost every breath and shook most of the day. We took her outside waiting on dad to get home and she enjoyed laying out in the yard, one of her most favorite past-times. When dad got home, we loved on her and drove the the emergency vet where they helped end her suffering. The vet suspected the osteosarcoma had spread to another limb (the way she could no longer walk on her back leg leads us to believe that was probably the case). 

I miss her. I miss her snoring and her drooling. I’m going to miss dog hair all over the house. I miss her sweet cheeks – always the perfect spot for kisses. I’ll miss her greeting me with such joy each day I get home. 

Virginia
Member




Forum Posts: 16461
Member Since:
22 February 2013
sp_UserOnlineSmall Online
11
10 April 2018 - 5:04 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

 Am so, so ,so very sorry.  My tears are too much to type right now.  I want to say quickly though, Lily KNEW she was cherished every seco d of every day.  She knew she was AND spoiled more than any dog could be. And because of  your love and devotion, she knew you would give her the gift of release when she made it clear she was ready.  That’s the  kind of selfless.love every dog hopes for.  heart

I’m coming back, but I just wanted to surrpund you with our @ove and our hugs as quicw as possible.  We understand.

Oh, I have to say one more thing.  When each dog or cat gets to the Bridge, a “welcome home feast”‘is prepared with their favorite foods.  Rumor has it all the Chck-Fil-A nuggets filled eleven wheel barrels full!   And there was a pond full of ice cream for dessert.

Surrounding you with our love

Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Member
Forum Posts: 1658
Member Since:
1 October 2017
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
12
10 April 2018 - 5:48 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

I am so terribly sorry for your loss. You gave your beautiful girl the best going away party before she shed her earthly clothes. I know it doesn’t make it easier but it mattered to her. 

I lost 4 very special babies of mine in a short period of time, all within a year. Three of them were older, but Rosie🌹 was a horrible illness and shock. She was my heart dog. Age makes no difference, it still hurts. 

Please find some peace and comfort in knowing she is whole again, so is Sampson. He’s already gotten to know the territory, and now he has his big sister to show it all to and share ice cream with. And the rest of our furbabies are throwing her a big welcome pawty.

Sending you healing hugs and sincere sympathy

Jackie and Huckleberry ❤️💖❤️

Hugs,

Jackie, David, Mitchell, Andy Oscar, and the coolest feral tripawd kitty Huckleberry

http://paws120......pawds.com/

The Rainbow Bridge

Forum Posts: 23910
Member Since:
25 April 2007
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
13
10 April 2018 - 6:00 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

My heart goes out to you, we are deeply sorry. Even though you think you’re prepared for what’s ahead, it never feels like it when the time is at hand. But you kept it together and did what was best for her, that is such a gift. You gave Lilly Rose so much love during her whole life, and especially up until the last breath she took. What a loved, treasured life she had with you. 

If you want to share more photos and stories please feel free to do so OK? She was such a lovely girl. And we know how hard it is to not have a dog’s sweet scent and velvety fur around, it takes lots of time to get used to. Talking about it helps and writing about your good times together may be therapeutic for you. And if not, that’s OK too. Do what feels best.

We are so very, very sorry.

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
Latest Tripawds News
Read my story here.

Support the Tripawds Foundation!

Member


Forum Posts: 3349
Member Since:
16 October 2012
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
14
12 April 2018 - 9:44 am
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

I am so sorry for you loss.  Please share more about Lilly Rose.  She is with you and watch for her signs.

Michelle & Angel Sassy

sassymichelle-sm.jpg

Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013

"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."

Schofield, WI
Member
Forum Posts: 1411
Member Since:
13 August 2015
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
15
12 April 2018 - 1:53 pm
sp_Permalink sp_Print sp_NewPost sp_QuotePost

Oh im so sorry for your loss of beautiful Lilly!  It’s clear she was very treasured and loved by you….her family.  Sending you healing light and warm hugs as you navigate this hardest of times.  Fly free new Angel!

Forum Timezone: America/Denver

Most Users Ever Online: 597

Currently Online: krun15, benny55, becky111390, skbryson720
57 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Devices Used: Desktop (49), Phone (11), Tablet (1)

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 1005

Members: 12748

Moderators: 2

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 4

Forums: 23

Topics: 15016

Posts: 211413

Administrators: admin, jerry, jim

Moderators: betaman, krun15

Tripawds Blogs is brought to you by Tripawds.
HOME » NEWS » BLOGS » FORUMS » CHAT » YOUR PRIVACY » RANDOM BLOG