Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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This loss has rendered me heartbroken and grief stricken that’s it’s hard to breathe or get through a day without sobbing and questioning everything I did or did not do for our precious Mollygirl. I want answers and when dealing with the disease of cancer it has become evident that in our case it has only left more questions than answers. Yet I still search and will probably will continue to do so for many days to come, in the last day though I have found a glimmer of clarity through this statement and thought others may also gain some peace from it as I have – “the person who worries most about not having ‘done enough’ is often the same person(s) who has already gone to superhuman efforts to car for that pet”
As I continue to experience the stages of grief I also know that at some point in this journey there will be that day when peace is found again and the only memories that will prevail will be those of her while she was healthy and living life to the fullest…
Your words resonate with me sooooo much. AS I said, I am 14 months into my journey with grief and I still have bad days. But I have more good days than bad. My pain, similar to yours and others here, was tremendous ... I always wondered if I had done enough. And someone told me... if money could have saved Shelby, she would have lived forever!
We ALL did / do everything in our power for our beloved fur-babies ... Your quote: “the person who worries most about not having ‘done enough’ is often the same person(s) who has already gone to superhuman efforts to car for that pet” speaks to me as it is similar to what people said about me and Shelby which was good to remember when I didn't think I had done enough.
You will find peace again ... this journey you are embarking on is a rough ride but you are strong. And your Mollygirl will guide you... you will feel her paws at your side and she will always be remembered here. That much I do know.
Shelby visits my dreams as the healthy, spirited girl that she was ... and in time, you will remember more of the happy and less of the sad.
Hugs and love to you my friend... lean on us right now. We are all here for you!
alison with spirit shelby in her heart (and little jasper too)
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
Thank you for coming back today. We all care and we all want sooooo badly to help take your pain away and we can't.
Hang onto that lovely sentiment because it is so true! And thank you for sharing that with us as it is something we all need to hang into! Here you are in the middle of depp despair and sadness, yet reaching out to others with this compassionate quote.
The diagnosis, the research, the decisions on treatment, the ups, the downs, the laser focus required in watching over our tripawds, the worrying, the celebration of every second of lofe we are given with iur furbabies.....all this intensity culminates in a most intense grief that is beyond anything we could ever have imagined.
I think aome of the second guessing is the mind's way of trying to protect us from thinking about the immensw loss. But we nave to blow those moments of second guessing to smithereens. It doesnt stop us from experiencing sadness, but it does stip us fr o m focusing o. All the w k nderfully happy times that we had with our furbabies.
One thing that helped me get through some of those dark moments was to remind myself that Happy Hannah woukd NOT want me to be so sad and bearing myself up. It would make her unhappy to see me doing this. And make no mistake, Molly IS watching!! You may not feel her presence yet because y our wall of grief is so thick, but she will penetrate it soon and make her presence known to you!
I think I may have paraphrased something that Merry said earlier, but it's worth repeating. Those last days were but a blink of an eye comlared to all the thousands and thousands of happy, fun and cheerful days you and Molly spent together.
Please stay connected. We understand. This lart of the journey is not to be done alone. Lean on js, we'll help you through it. It will hurt and it will seem eternally unbearable, but you will get through this lart snd onto better memories.
It's like building a muscle. Everyday force yourself to think of a hap p y memory of Molly that made you laugh! In fact, close your eyes now snd think of one. Maybe it was food related, maybe it was something clumsy she did as a puppy...find that memory and know that that makes Molly happy.
One of the "belief systems" I've adopted as my journey evolves is, "when it's your time, it's your time". The Soul knows when its mission is complete and exits "when it's time". The Soul is in charge and understands it continues on through another door into another dimension.
Molly is loved by us too. Molly will continue to inspire others through you. Her light can never be dimmed. Please sjare pictures when you can and tell us more about her gentle and fun personality.
Surrpu ding you with Mollh's grace
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thank you for posting your statement about those who worry whether they've done enough are the ones who've already gone to superhuman efforts to care for the pet. This month will be a year since I've let my Leland go and it's been pretty sad. Although yesterday my boy was a guardian angel for both me and my new boy Lucian.
Molly is there with you and watching over you. Hang in there and know we're here for you.
Sahana and her Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
Thank you for the replies...I think it's part of who I am in that for me to heal I have to reach out to others in human or furry form when faced with difficult feelings and situations. I have also learned about myself that writing has become an outlet and I am drafting a blog to share with others on Molly's journey and how she came to be in my life. My head tells me that second guessing myself is irrational yet my heart takes over and compels me to be full of emotion. Molly gave us just over 11 years of tremendous love and at times frustration when we she would take off to the lake (across the street from us) and we would get calls from campers that she had stolen their bag of marshmallows....
There will be more to come and please keep the support coming...thank you for grieving with me and sharing in our Molly's life.
Nicole
Nicole, Having just walked this journey, I am five months ahead of you, I can tell you with certainty that it WILL get easier and it WILL get better. The love and strength we exert as we help we help our fur babies on this journey does make the grief a lot heavier when we lose them. I had never experienced that deep of grief before, ever! I have lost human friends, human family members, and other fur babies, but this was MUCH more excruciating. I thought at the end, when Eddy was really sick, that I might be relieved when he was gone....there was so much caregiving and so much worrying, I thought it might come to a feeling of relief. Boy, was I ever wrong! I was devastated! My whole life the prior 5 plus months had been caring for him non-stop: the pills, the pill schedule, the chemo appointments, the acupuncture appointments, grooming, food, the every day things, they had all become my life. And, just like that, everything was gone! It took me a while to recover. I still don't think I am fully recovered...but it has gotten easier. I just want you to know that you are not alone. There is a whole community of Tripawd friends here at all times...lean on us, ok?
Prayer and Peace,
Betsy
Betsy Golden and Angel, Eddy. Eddy was diagnosed with Osteosarcoma 7-23-14, had a left rear amputation 8-07-14, had 3 rounds of carboplatin chemotherapy, a small lung met was discovered in October, had 2 rounds of doxorubicin, and unfortunately more lung mets were discovered. Eddy fought cancer valiantly and went to the Rainbow Bridge 1-6-15, at the age of 7 years and 359 days, just six days short of his 8th birthday. Best Dog, Ever....you will never be forgotten.
I am a bit more than a year past losing My TY. It does get easier with time, although, it can come rushing back at times. I think of him more as the healthy active dog he was rather than the end so much now. The post above resonated with me. I thought there would be a bit of relief because he was not suffering anymore, but the sadness and loss were agonizing. I just wanted him back! Don't waste too much Time second guessing, it will just take you places you don't want to go. I did way too much of that. Thinking of you, Lori, TY and Gang
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
Nicole,
Ditto what everyone has already said.....there is absolutely NO timeframe for our grief. And you definitely got it right with what you said, "the person who worries most, about not having done enough, is often the same person who has already gone to superhuman efforts to care for that pet." The problem is, we take our entire period of grief to not only come to terms with losing our beloved pup or kitty, but also to come to terms with the endless amount of questions that we lose sleep over every single night for months on end. I am also past a year since the loss of the best Lab girl I will EVER have, and while I can say the overwhelming fog of grief has finally lifted, and I am starting to enjoy things in my life that I had not been able to for the last year, there is a huge part of my heart that will always intensely mourn for my precious Polly. It does get better, I promise.
We all do get it, and we share your agonizing heartbreak. Like everyone has said, lean on us, we will always be here to help you through, and will ALWAYS want to hear more about Molly girl......the stories and memories within our hearts are never-ending, and need to be shared..... {{{hugs}}}
Love,
Bonnie, Angel Polly, and new crew
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