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My sweet Toddy... | Coping with Loss

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My sweet Toddy...
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Forum Posts: 58
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20 September 2017 - 12:27 pm
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This has come way to soon, like many others gone before you.  I miss you in the depth of my soul, my heart is shattered.  I knew it would be like this after dealing with the fur brothers that went on before you but the pain is so deep yet again.  I miss your sweet kisses, barking when it was time to eat, running to check on the baby bunnies, cuddling with you, watching you protect the boys, seeing your sweet cocker face and so much more.  I can’t walk anywhere today without seeing you.  I remember just yesterday you laying your head on my leg and resting.  Your breathing getting worse and worse .  I sob because it just seems way to soon. Your amputation was just 2 months ago.  I wanted more that this….more time to cuddle, more time to pet you, more kisses, more memories….. I know this is part of grieving but I would rather have you here.  Your fur brother misses you the same as your human brothers.  Your dad didn’t know how to be downstairs without you and has cried just as much as I have.  I know each day will get a little better but it will never be the same.  You chose us and we loved you from the moment we saw you.  I wanted so many more years with you but I’m blessed with the short time we had.  I know it was time but it still seems surreal ….. I loved you to the very depth of my soul.  I love you Toddy!

XOXO

Virginia
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20 September 2017 - 1:15 pm
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Heather, please know this to be true…TODDY KNEW HOW MUCH ALL HIS HUMANS LOVED HIM  AND ADORED HIM!!heart 

Through our tears everyone here  who has had the privilege to know Toddy could see the depth of love he felt every single moment he was with you.  And he knew the selfless love you would show him when he needed to run to the Birdge for his grand welcoming pawty.  He knew you wouldn’t hold him back becauseae that would be for your sake and not his. 

Even though most of us have had enough grief in our lives to understand that the gutwrenching despair lessens, it does NOT make it easier and in no way reduces the hurt.

Logic and a broken heart are strangers and incapable of communicating with each other.

We all feel yiur heart, we all share in your tears, we all hear yiu screaming through the computer post:  “I  LOVE YOU TODDY!!!   I LOVE YOU FROM THE DEPTH OF MY SOUL!”

In fact, he even hears you at the Bridge and he is wiggling that Cocker Spaniel butt of his lightening speed fast!!  He even hears you while he’s chasing in those bunnies without ever getting tired!!   Keep talking to him, he hears you.   Keep “seeing” him everywhere you go, he’s there.

It you are able, we would love to see a picture or two from your family album of Toddy today.  One that makes you smile.  Maybe your boys could each pick out ine to post here.  Maybe even your hubby would be up for picking one that made him smile.

Surrounding you with our kove

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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20 September 2017 - 1:20 pm
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Heather,

Thinking of you and your family. This part sucks. It really really sucks. That’s not the most eloquent way of putting it, but it feels like the most honest. 

From reading your posts and seeing your pictures, it’s clear just how much Toddy was – and is – loved and how much he loved you all back. The amount of time you got with Toddy wasn’t fair, but you made the most of it. That’s what counts. 

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. 

David and Rocky (and Baxter now too!)

Rocky had his right front leg amputated on Valentine's Day 2017 after being diagnosed with osteosarcoma.

He joined the September Saints on September 3, 2017.

He is the toughest, bravest, sweetest and best friend I'll ever know. 

Schofield, WI
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20 September 2017 - 2:11 pm
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Holding you and your family in my heart and sending you love and healing light.  This is the absolute hardest part of this journey as we know we must love them enough to let them go even as it breaks our hearts to do so.  Your love for your sweet Toddy shines through and my heart hurts your time was so short with him.  Toddy will remain with you in spirit and you will see him in everything beautiful.  All our Angels welcomed him at the bridge and he’s right now telling all up there about the “best life” you gave him.  Hugs at this hardest of times!

Linda & Spirit Mighty Max

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20 September 2017 - 7:47 pm
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I’m so very sorry about Toddy. What I wouldn’t give for more time with my boy Chance. I know how you are feeling. Exactly. 

Sending you big hugs and loves in this painful time. heart

-Patricia and Angel Chance 

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21 September 2017 - 11:01 pm
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Last night as I sat outside with our other dog I had a million thoughts of Toddy running through my head.  I talked to him for a bit to let him know how much we miss him but that we all knew what a blast he was having with his new friends.  Out of the corner of my eye , I saw something running….wouldn’t you know it is a bunny with the fluffiest white tail running for it’s life to get under the fence.  I know it had to be sweet Toddy giving chase. heartI know Toddy is hanging out with Rocky and Chance and trying to see if he can get a tennis ball to squeak !  The boys are still processing and it’s hard for them.  I’m going to make them a photo book of Toddy to help remind them of all the love toddy brought into of lives. 

I’m having a hard time with Tuesday because of the experience at our regular vet.  I’ve decided we will not be returning.  The lack of compassion and how things happened replay in my mind.  It breaks my heart over and over again.  I’ve never had a bad experience there before and Toddy deserved so much better.

I’ve been going through picture after picture trying to replace bad memories with happier times. 

This was one of the first pictures I saw of Toddy and I knew he had chosen us…. his sweet, sweet smile as he recovered from the abuse he suffered

This was the first day we got Toddy….He was about 1 1/2 years old heart

He has always been our “Rockstar”way-cool

My heart is overwhelmed with the love and support that we have gotten through this journey.  It helps to know that others are walking right along side of us and we are walking with them as well.heart

Heather and Angel Toddy

Virginia
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22 September 2017 - 11:35 am
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First of all Heather, not that this helps, but you are not alone in replaying a d replaying and replaying those mome ts leading up to the transition.  And again, not that it helps, but I, like other who have been owned by dogs all my life, have had experiences that “didn’t go well”.    In the first weeks we replay those scenarios, regardlessof whether the transition was smooth or not.

I understand the pain when the memories of that day are overshadowed by a bad experience at the Vet.  It’s so painful you don’t even want to putn t in words because it hurts so much.  I’ve been with my dogs when the injection didn’t lpwork as it should and Ive experienced an ER Bet who had the bedside manner of a rock.

I don’t want to jump to any conclusions and I don’t want tpyou to write about anything so painful.  HOWEVER, it may, or may not, help you move through it.  Toddy KNOWS you were doing every single thingout of love.  And Toddy didn’t care atall about whether thst jackass Vet was “compassionate” or not. 

Something that Jerry always reminds us….and it’s soooo true…thise moments you experienced Tuesday were just a blink of an eye…JUST A BLINK OF AN EYE ..comlared to the thousands and thousands of HAPPY meme THAT TODDY SHARED WITH YOU EVERY SINGLE DAY OF HIS LIFE!!

To focus on anything else let’s that PIECE OF CRAP disease still try to do damage,still try and separate youfrom the happy memories.  Toddy didn’t let that disease define him, and he sure didn’t let “that” Vet define him!

Toddy rsn tonthe Bridge free and happy and bragging non-stop to every dog who greeted him how much he loved being yoir dog and you all being his humans!!!

Toddy is soooo proud that you are trying to focus on all his happy times by sharing those DEEEELIGHTFUL poctures of his cute smiling self with us!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂   Keep em coming please!!   It helps us all work through our sdaness for you and for all our recent Bridge occupants! 

No way we cannot smike when looking at these pictures!!!  Noooo waaay!!  And the picture where you knew he chose you and you knew you chose him…ADORABLENESS!!!! 🙂

Toddy is a ROCK STAR indeed…And on so many levels!!! 🙂 🙂

Now, about those bunneis!!   YES!!!!   Toddy connected with you right then when yiu were holding him in your thoughts and then…BAM..BAM..the bunny is running away…right before your very eyes….you vetcha’ sweet Toddy was surrounding you with his presence right then!!!   That’s a cery “Toddy specific” sign from yiur sweet voy!!  Good for you for recognizing it 🙂 🙂

Surrounding you with our love

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too! I

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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22 September 2017 - 12:01 pm
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Awesome pictures. Toddy is most definitely a Rock Star. 

David and Rocky (and Baxter now too!)

Rocky had his right front leg amputated on Valentine's Day 2017 after being diagnosed with osteosarcoma.

He joined the September Saints on September 3, 2017.

He is the toughest, bravest, sweetest and best friend I'll ever know. 

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22 September 2017 - 12:24 pm
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Chance LOVED dogs that were smaller than him so it’s only fitting that he and Toddy and Rocky are hangin’ together. Love the cute pics! heart

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25 September 2017 - 2:21 pm
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The dreaded call came today that Toddy’s ashes were back and ready to be picked up.  I immediately went and picked him up.  I needed a piece of him back with us.  We had his paw print made for the boys but it almost seems more therapeutic for me.  I have seen some blue birds this week on our fence and I know this is his sweet soul connecting with me.  He loved to chase the birds.  Every time I look at his empty crate I feel his presence.  I’m not sure I can ever take it down, at least not any time soon. 

Heather and Angel boy Toddy

Virginia
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25 September 2017 - 8:38 pm
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Awww, such a sweet paw print.  I know most of us felt the same as you when it came to wanting  the ashes of our loved one back home where they belong!! 

Many have done a variety of touching life affirming “things” with the ashes.  Some have made a little celebration of life garden.  Some have mixed some of the shes with garden soil and planted a tree, or a ahrub or flowers.  It’s a way to remind ourselves that in nature nothing ever “dies”, it merely changes form.

Lori who was owned by Ty, planted some forget-me-nots in Ty’s food bowl.  Alison, owned by Shelby, has made a “celebration corner” with poctures is happy times she and Shelby shared.  She also has a beautiful “globe” that her mother had made for her that has some of Shelby’s ashes swirled in.

Not sure exzctly what it would be, but maybe there is a way you could utilize Toddy’s crate in a creative way to celebrate her life. Just not sure what you can come up with.  Maybe your boys could figure out a clever way to use it in a way that helps celebrate Toddy’s life.  Maybe you could use it, in part, as a home for a pet bunny!!! 🙂  Just a suggestion……..maybe a bit of a stretch thiugh!

And yes, as you know, Bluebirds are a beautiful way that Toddy is letting his presence known.

Lots of.love to all

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

PS. Paula, owned by Nitro, is actually having some of his ashes turned into a DIAMOND!!  Yes, there is a process for that!

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Livermore, CA
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25 September 2017 - 8:56 pm
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Take your time putting stuff away.

After Maggie passed I immediately got rid of some stuff- meds, special foods, anything that seemed ‘bad’.  Mag’s food dish was in place until I adopted Obie and he needed a place.  Her leash and collar hung in the closet next to Tani’s until I moved 5 years later!  (Now Maggie and Tani’s leashes and collars hang in my craft room).  The blanket Maggie slept on nearly every night of her life with me stayed on my bed for a year, now it lives on the nightstand.

I have something I call the Mag Tag that hangs in my bedroom.  It is a rough outline I used to make to show the pug girls framed and decorated with Mag’s old harness including her name tag.  Also hanging on the frame are some remembrances from our local Tripawd meetups, a knitted 3 paw ornament from a former Tripawd member, a ‘dog tag’ that Rene made with both Maggie and Tani’s names and ‘Be More Dog ‘, and Maggie’s original Tripawd bandanna. 

Toddy will help guide you on what to do.

Karen and the Spirit Pug Girls

Tri-pug Maggie survived a 4.5 year mast cell cancer battle only to be lost to oral melanoma.

1999 to 2010

 

              Maggie's Story                  Amputation and Chemo

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28 September 2017 - 8:11 pm
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Thank you for the ideas Sally and Karen! 

We have decided to re-do our garden area to memorialize Toddy and our other 2 cocker spaniels (that previously in recent years went to the rainbow bridge ). It’s the area where Toddy terrorized the baby bunnies .  It’s been therapeutic to work in that spot, even though it brings back a lot of memories. We have a concrete rabbit we are going to set over the “bunny nest”. We also decided to eventually get a glass blown heart that will contain all 3 of our dogs ashes. I’ve been going through photos of Toddy and this one brought back some sweet memories …

Preston decided to get in the hair gel years ago and Toddy was right there with him….they both had to have baths and detested it!!! 

Our kiddos will say how much they miss him and wish they had him but that he is now free to be Toddy again. ❤️❤️

Heather and Angel boy Toddy 

Livermore, CA
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28 September 2017 - 8:17 pm
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Love the garden idea!

And the hair gel picture is priceless. 

How old are your kids? What an amazing take on missing Toddy but knowing he is whole again.

Karen

Tri-pug Maggie survived a 4.5 year mast cell cancer battle only to be lost to oral melanoma.

1999 to 2010

 

              Maggie's Story                  Amputation and Chemo

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28 September 2017 - 8:19 pm
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The memorial garden sounds like a wonderful idea. A perfect way to pay tribute to Toddy and his older Cocker Spaniel “brothers”. 

And what a picture. Toddy always looks so happy in all his photos. It’s clear you gave him a very very good life. 

David and Rocky (and Baxter now too!)

Rocky had his right front leg amputated on Valentine's Day 2017 after being diagnosed with osteosarcoma.

He joined the September Saints on September 3, 2017.

He is the toughest, bravest, sweetest and best friend I'll ever know. 

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