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Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat

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Missing Raven
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Auburn, CA
Member Since:
28 October 2009
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31 January 2010 - 12:01 pm
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Yesterday I vacuumed and cleaned house, busy work. Then later, saw a black whisker in the middle of the kitchen floor.  I've never seen one of his whiskers, first time.  I've taped it to the computer screen.  The house is so empty.  I can't believe he's really gone.   For good.  Forever.

This is almost the hardest thing I've ever been through.  Things were so much deeper with Raven...  When my husband died in 1990, I had Raven's grandma Emma.  She was a purebred rescue.  She had puppies and Conner was born.  Conner ended up filling a void that my husband left.  A companion, unconditional love, camping/hiking/always shotgun in the car, my protector, my best friend, I was never alone.  He helped me heal, however, most people including me worried that he prevented me to really complete grieving Joe.  I didn't care, I was tired of grieving and loved Conner for that.  When Conner got cancer at 8, I was terrified.  I bred him from semen (I had shown him and had it collected when he was younger) and Raven was born only weeks after Conner died.  So, once again Raven picked up where Joe/Conner left off.  So, now losing him is sort of like being alone for the first time in 20 years. 

 
I've always loved my other animals, but none fill the same hole.  Cats and horses, etc, are so wonderful in their own ways.  My bulldog Betty came to me late in life as a rescue and she sleeps mostly 23 hours a day and isn't mobile enough to accompany me everywhere.  She's a snuggler and loves me unconditionally of course.  🙂  But Raven, he would throw a welcoming party every time I'd walk in the door, even if I was just outside for an hour doing chores...while Betty snores.  If I was on the computer and Raven was sleeping, it's just a one room cottage, he was always within eyesight, I swear I would glance at him and he'd either be staring at me, or he'd open an eye and look my way and lift a paw.  If he was outside, he was at his "guard station" under the tree by the front door, scanning the perimeter for intruders or neighbors rolling a garbage can to the corner (his favorite), and would sound off a boomy bark, then look at me through the window and wag his stubby tail as if to say, "I got your back Mom!"  If I went to town and picked up the keys, he'd always be right there bouncing and hoping to go too.  I always felt safe since I live alone, whether at home or traveling with him.  I got so much joy from just running my hand gently over his face and I could just about hear him purr.  That connection, it's the only thing I've had in the same realm as an earthly spouse or boyfriend.  Getting another dog won't even fill it, no more than getting another man.  They wouldn't be him.  I made him myself, I was his creator, the first thing he felt, heard, and saw when he was born, and the last thing he heard and saw as he went back to heaven.
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I just don't know how to go on...
 
Thank you for listening and letting me vent.  Cry

 Rottie Raven, osteosarcoma at 8-1/2 years old, amputation in October '09 and in February '10 due to liver mets he went back to heaven where he came from.  raven.tripawds.com

Now I have Miles, rottie mix amputee from a shelter and traveled 1500 miles to find his way here through the Rescue Railroad thanks to tripawds.com.  miles.tripawds.com

On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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31 January 2010 - 12:23 pm
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Go on just as Raven would want you to... One day at a time, doing you best to make the most out of life. We know it's hard now, but Raven is sure to keep reminding you it will get better by dropping little hints like that whisker. Peace.

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

My heart lives at Rainbow Bridge
Member Since:
28 November 2008
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31 January 2010 - 12:32 pm
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What a special friend he was.  We will miss him too, but he will forever live in our hearts and his stories will offer hope for the cancer victims who will follow.  That's a great legacy for the two of you.

Only time will help to heal the tremendous grief you feel.  But one day the precious memories you share with Raven will lift your spirit and warm your heart. Until that day, be kind to yourself.  You have suffered a terrible loss.

Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul.  Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.

Montréal , Canada
Member Since:
31 July 2009
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31 January 2010 - 1:22 pm
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I wish I could have the right words...but please know that I listened and I understand what you feel. 

Take care {{hugs}}

Livermore CA
Member Since:
24 January 2009
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31 January 2010 - 1:48 pm
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I don't think there's anything more difficult and painful than this.  Right now, time is against you, but later on, time will be your friend.  Until then, pain and grief.  I'm so sorry that you have to go through it.  You're constantly in my thoughts and prayers.

Mary

Cemil and mom Mary, Mujde and Radzi….appreciating and enjoying Today

Cemil's blog

Member Since:
20 May 2009
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31 January 2010 - 2:47 pm
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Dawn,

Many of us have lost our puppies lately and know all to well how hard it is.  But I think I am more worried about you.  It sounds like you have not really grieved Joe or Connor.  Please allow yourself to do so.  It is not fun and it is painful but needs to be done.  You have suffered many loses in the last 20 years and sometimes it is too much to handle without help.  Please think about talking to your doctor about what is happening to you.

I hope that we can work as a support group for you. You know how much we loved Raven and how we have come to care about you very much, too. ( Funny isn't it?  We can love a dog we don't really know but only care about a person.)

Please know that I am praying so hard for you.  Finding the whisker, wow, is a gift from Raven, your sweet little boy.

Debra

Debra & Emily, a five year old doberman mix, who was diagnosed with an osteosaecoma. She had a right rear leg amputation on May 19, 2009. On November 10, 2009 she earned her wings and regained her fourth leg.

Arizona
Member Since:
28 September 2009
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31 January 2010 - 5:35 pm
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 Dawn, I wish I had words to give you comfort, I don't , but I just felt I needed you to to no we are all here for you and will listen when you need to vent, we will cry with you and smile when you post Raven's beautiful pictures.  My thoughts and prayers are with.

Jo Ann & Tasha

Tasha 8 years old, First cancer diagnosis 6/26/09, Last cancer diagnosis 9/26/09, Amputation 10/01/09, Loving our girl moment by moment.

Tasha lost her battle and became my Angel on May 4 2011. Forever in my heart….

On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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31 January 2010 - 8:19 pm
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Dawn, I'm so very sorry. I know that the depth of your grief right now is tremendous, and there is little that we can say to ease the pain. But I hope that by writing and sharing your profound relationship with Raven here, that it brings you some comfort.

When Jim and I lost Jerry, our world was shattered. We were a pack, the three of us, and without him, our anchor was gone. There was little in this world that we could hold on to, other than this community. Our world was spinning and we felt completely out of control. One day when it all came to a head and we fell apart, we remembered what our life was like when we had Jerry orchestrating things. And we thought of how his strength was always there to help us move forward no matter what crisis we faced. He would've been so upset seeing us like that. Suddenly, we realized that he was still with us, and if we allowed his spirit to guide us, he could help us get through our grief. And he did. And does, to this day and always.

I read somewhere something like death doesn't end a relationship; the person or animal we knew so well and loved so much is physically not there, but the life we created together will forever be in our hearts.

Raven will always be your protector, your soul mate, your guide through life. This is something that will never, ever disappear.

Many, many hugs to you. Please know we are here whenever you want to talk OK?

-Rene

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

Northern Indiana
Member Since:
15 January 2009
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31 January 2010 - 8:26 pm
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Dawn,

I am so sad to see you hurting soooo much.  I lost Paris 3 weeks ago and I do understand your loss and pain as many of us on the site.  I describe it as coming from the depths of my soul.  I look for her everywhere…..I miss all the routines big & small……I want to take her for a ride for a cheeseburger….I want to ask her to go upstairs to go night-night…….and the list goes on!!  I feel your pain, I know it, you feel like your heart will burst in 2 or a million pieces!

I have decided to spend the rest of my days honoring Paris.  She deserves that from me.  I will find another dog to love, I hope you will too when you are ready.  I can't imagine my life without a dog.  I really do take comfort in knowing that her sweet soul is no longer trapped in her cancer ridden body….she is free and Jim is right, the whisker is Raven….he is all around you.  I have heard Paris' dog tags and I feel her with me as a grieve.  I still have tearful moments and when I do, I can hear her say….Mommy I don't like it when you cry.

I also hope you can find a way to be kind to yourself during this time.  Find something that brings you joy.  Raven is all round you, his love is forever.

I am sending you love and prayers along with ……."Cast your cares on the Lord and He will sustain you, Psalm 55:22″

Ginny & Angel Paris

Grateful for every moment we had with Paris…..no regrets!

Honoring her life by opening our hearts & home to Addy!

Member Since:
26 November 2008
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31 January 2010 - 8:41 pm
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gineej said:

....I do understand your loss and pain as many of us on the site.  I describe it as coming from the depths of my soul.  I look for her everywhere…..I miss all the routines big & small……I want to take her for a ride for a cheeseburger….I want to ask her to go upstairs to go night-night…….and the list goes on!!  I feel your pain, I know it, you feel like your heart will burst in 2 or a million pieces!


Dawn,

Ginny said it just about as great as anyone could. I is very hard for me to even go to this site knowing that I cannot really be the person my Cherry would want me to be just now - it is just too hard to be upbeat - and the brain cannot yet function in keeping up with the progress of so many. Having said that, know that I and so many of this community will be here for you whenever you need  us.

Like Ginny, I miss most the routines, but today was Sunday and once again, I went on a Sunday Drive and tried to feel her presence. The memories you have constructd with Raven will be with you forever as are the gifts that he has given you. Even though we cannot reachout to hold them, they are still here with us, just now it is within us.

Praying that you will find peace.

Spirit Cherry's Dad - Bob

Las Vegas, Nevada
Member Since:
14 August 2009
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31 January 2010 - 8:55 pm
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Dawn,

I'm trying to compose myself to type...

I can't imagine my life without my husband.  I can't imagine how I would go on without him.  I would do just what you have done and turn to my dogs, if that would even get me through.  You have survived the death of your husband and that makes you  a strong person. 

Raven connected you to your past loves.  He made your heart full and fulfilling.  He WAS your protector and companion.  But you are not alone, now.  You have so many angels watching after you.  God will only give you as much as you can handle.  I truly believe your strength to endure this pain will make you even stronger.   

Just remember, we may be only virtual but we are real and care deeply about your pain.  When you don't feel the presence of your angels to help you through the day, you can turn to us.

Life will get better.  Please remember that.

Lots of hugs -

Her Retired AvatarComet - 1999 to 2011

She departed us unexpectedly  January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.

She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.

Auburn, CA
Member Since:
28 October 2009
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31 January 2010 - 9:37 pm
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Thank you.  I just decided I was hungry and looked in the fridge and saw a
leftovers tub.  Looked inside and saw tuna water.  I forgot.  Just hours
*before* on Friday, I had no clue he would die that night, I made my lunch
with some tuna and saved the water for his dinner in case he didn't want to
eat much.  I burst into tears and sobbed out loud when I saw it.  DAMN.  I
gave it to Betty, Raven's last meal uneaten.  God, I can't wait for this to
start getting better.  I gave mom the bed on the floor, that he died on.  His toys, his meds on the counter, his elevated feeder, I put them all away.  I gave his Tripawds bandana to my vet Tom, it made him cry.  I
even took his expensive Dog Couch and put it out in the shed and put a chair
there.  It's sad not seeing his stuff, but not as sad as seeing it with him gone. 

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I dread tomorrow.  I dread having to go to work and not giving him a biscuit
as I leave and looking back through the window to see his expectant little
Pricked Ears Face as I leave.  I dread coming home as I approach the door for the first
time in 9 years without seeing
the bouncing black head in the window. 

This is what I come home to, bouncing on his leg, excited about dinner the minute I walk in the door.

It truly does help to get this out and share it with you all, whom I know understand completely.  I cannot thank you all enough.  It was a coincidence, or not, that right after Debra/Emily's Mom wrote what she did about my grief, I got an email from a widow friend.  I met her at a Grief Counseling class through a church.  I haven't heard from her in years.  But she'd heard through the grapevine about Raven, is a dog lover, and completely understood.  I have been through extensive counseling over the years for grief.  I think I just grieve more openly than others possibly, or deeper somehow because it brings up my past losses because I live alone.  This is about as bad as it gets for me, and you are all helping me endure.  Like you all did the night of his amputation when he hemorraged, and I didn't even know you then.  🙂

The widow friend mentioned that a woman who had lost a dog was in a recent grief class.  And two widows were bothered by it and felt that her grief couldn't be as bad as theirs, like it downplayed their own.  I understand how the widows would feel that way.  But I especially feel badly for the pet owner.  It *is* as bad, but in a different way.  Then Ann said that the church should consider a Pet Loss Grief class...  That sparked something in me.  Like maybe that is something I could make a future goal.  To start such a class...

 Rottie Raven, osteosarcoma at 8-1/2 years old, amputation in October '09 and in February '10 due to liver mets he went back to heaven where he came from.  raven.tripawds.com

Now I have Miles, rottie mix amputee from a shelter and traveled 1500 miles to find his way here through the Rescue Railroad thanks to tripawds.com.  miles.tripawds.com

krun15
13
31 January 2010 - 9:52 pm
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Dawn,

And there is Raven speaking to you- thinking of reaching out to others someday, just as Raven has always been there for you, and continues to be by your side.

I have been through many challenges and losses in my life.  And while it is never easy I always tell myself that I will not go through whatever it is without gaining something or learning something, even if all I learn is that I can get through it.

I know you are strong enough to get through this because you have already proven that you can.

Karen

Member Since:
20 May 2009
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1 February 2010 - 10:53 am
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Dawn,

You are a good person.  You have so much love to give.  I hope that when the time is right you will consider getting another dog to love.  He wouldn't replace Raven but you wouldn't have to be alone either.  

Debra

Debra & Emily, a five year old doberman mix, who was diagnosed with an osteosaecoma. She had a right rear leg amputation on May 19, 2009. On November 10, 2009 she earned her wings and regained her fourth leg.

Las Vegas, Nevada
Member Since:
14 August 2009
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1 February 2010 - 10:54 am
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Love the video and pictures.  I hope you are doing okay today, Dawn.

...thinking of you.

Her Retired AvatarComet - 1999 to 2011

She departed us unexpectedly  January 23, 2011 at the age of 12 1/2.

She was born with a deformed front leg and a tripawd all of her life.

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