Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I'm so sorry I hadn't been able to reply sooner. I know releasing Marshall was one of the hardest things for you your family to do. I'm so sorry that you are having to go through the grief of not having Marshall with you any longer. But ending his pain and letting him go was the most selfless gift you could give him and the pain in your heart is excruciating...we all know what you're feeling.
I love Sally's insightful words with the beautiful daffodil flower. The yellow is so bright and vibrant and that is what Marshall was to us all here. He was such a character and we were blessed to get to meet him through you. He will never be forgotten here in this community. Even though his physical body is no longer here his vibrant spirit surrounds you. Take time to grieve...there is no time limits. The awful heartache will subside later on but you may always shed a tear...I still do for my Leland. And calling Doc by Marshall's nickname is going to happen. For the longest time both me and my husband would call Lucian, Leland. I've gotten better with this because I have to make a conscious effort that Lucian is not Leland. My husband still slips from time to time but that's ok.
Try to be good to yourself and not beat yourself up to hard (I know easier said than done). You did the best you could for Marshall to give him the best fighting chance against this disease. Cancer is the one you should be upset with...not yourself. Hold tight to us here...we're here for you to lean on while you make your way through the grief.
Hugs
Sahana and her Angel Leland
November 17, 2009 - June 30, 2014
May you finally be healthy and running free at the Rainbow Bridge. Until we meet again my sweet boy!
Sally said it so beautifully.
Marshall did have a lot of pain free, quality time with you and I know right now that's overshadowed by his death, but keep trying to remind yourself of that.
I know I was angry too when Jerry passed long before he should have, and I can only imagine how much angrier I'd have been if he was Marshall's age. But in the end, we just have to remember that age is a big deal to humans, but not to dogs. All Marshall ever knew was the good years he did have with you, and how much you loved him. Dogs don't mark off years like we do. We need to Be More Dog in that way.
Dying is hard, very hard. But it can never take away the joy and love that he gave you, and you returned, while he was strong and healthy. Those happy times add up to a far more powerful, longer lasting memory than just a short period of time when his health declined. You'll get to the point when your heart can feel what I'm saying, I know you will. Hang in there and vent all you want.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
This is harder than I ever imagined. He isn't the first one I have lost but this one sure hurts the most.
Oh how I understand what you are feeling right now. I wish like crazy that I didn't. I, too, have lost other precious dogs over the years, but Murphy's loss has just hit me right in the gut. I know that we will get through this, but getting over it is going to be nearly impossible.
Thinking of you and holding your hand from afar.
Kathi
Murphy is a five year old Lab/Chessie cross. He was hit by a car on 10/29/12 and became a Tripawd on 11/24/12. On 2/5/13, he had a total hip replacement on his remaining back leg. He has absolutely no idea that he has only three legs!
UPDATE: Murphy lived his life to the fullest, right up until an aggressive bone lesion took him across the Rainbow Bridge on April 9, 2015 and he gained his membership in the April Angels. Run free, my love. You deserve it!
We are all here for you. I'm glad you are staying connected. This is such a horribly gut wrenching time.
There is no journey like a journey with our tripawds. It doesn't mean we love others less or grieve any less when they are gone, it's just "different" on so many levels with the tripawd path.
The intensity of the diagnosis,
the intensity of the amputation,
the intesity of the uncertainties,
the intensity of the recovery,
the intensity of the after care,
the intensity of trying to stay in the present,
the intensity of seeing the journey start to "end",
the intensity of trying to make the "decision",
the intensity of the void afterwards,
the intensity of no longer have a routine,
the intensity of continuous second guessing everything,
the intensity of staying stuck in those last days,
the intensity of the bond is like no other
the intensity of savoring every sacred tail wag and sloppy kiss
....all this makes the journey unlike any other.
And you know what, if you asked Marshall if he would do it all over again just to be with you and "his boys" ....he would laugh out loud at the ridiculousness kf the wuestio !!! "Of course I would do it all over again!!! That's just crazy to think otherwise!"
And would we do it all over again to get that special time to love and spoil at a depth we never knew possible? For me...heck yes!
Marshall is missed by us all, but his legacy will continue on here a d he will continue to touch lives...and hearts.
Sending you love
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle too
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
marshallsmom13 said
This is harder than I ever imagined. He isn't the first one I have lost but this one sure hurts the most.
I know ... it is the hardest pain imaginable and I think it is because of the journey we go through with them, like Sally listed ... I grew up with pets and lost them over the years but nothing hurt me as badly and stopped me in my tracks like the loss of Shelby. Even a year later, I can still find myself riddled with grief... crying out of the blue.
There is something a journey with a tripawd dog that is different... unique, sacred, valued ... I can't even put my finger on it. But I know I wouldn't change those sleepless nights for anything in the world. Know that your sweet Marshall is watching over you all the time and he is always there. You WILL feel his paw on your shoulder ... letting you know that he is OK and that is the most amazing feeling. I love when Shelby visits and I feel her 'lean' against me ... hugs!!!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
These pains are what we have to endure when we someone affects our life like Marshall did yours. Like Alison said it is the hardest pain imaginable. But you will get through it your own way. What consoles one person doesn't do it for another.
Every once-and-a-while I'll read something in the forums that will remind me of Harmony and something she did and I'll feel a yank on my heart.
It's difficult, but it won't be difficult forever, I promise. And on those days, we'll be here with you.
xoxo
pam
Harmony became a Tripawd on 10/21/14 (MCT). She left us way too soon on 11/1/14.
"We miss you so much; our love, our heart, our Harmony."
- Pam, Ron and Melody, Meesha, Doublestuff and Mariah Carey
It feels like it's been so long since he has been here but it's only been 4 days. These have been the longest 4 days ever. Today is harder than yesterday. Yesterday I thought I was making some progress but I was wrong. I watch his videos and can see how sick he was even 2 months ago. You don't see it when youre living it each day. My poor puppy!!!! I should have let him go sooner I should have had him stay longer you all know these thoughts. I want him back
marshallsmom13 said
I watch his videos and can see how sick he was even 2 months ago. You don't see it when youre living it each day. My poor puppy!!!! I should have let him go sooner I should have had him stay longer you all know these thoughts. I want him back
I will say this ... most of us cannot see it when we are in the middle of it. Those on the outside can sometimes see clearer but we cannot always see what is to be true. It is the hardest part of this journey. Looking back on Shelby's photos - almost a year later - only NOW do I see how sick she was in the end. Now I think, I should have released her sooner, maybe? I don't know but that back and forth will eat you up. Just try and be kind and gentle with yourself... and remember... everything you did came from a place of intense LOVE and dedication to your fur-baby. And Marshall always knew how loved he was. I know I sound like a broken record but I come from a place of experience where I spent months regretting and beating myself up for choices I made and begging Shelby for forgiveness...
But Shelby guides me and that is how I know she forgives and knows that our souls were entwined and all I ever had for her was intense love ...
much love to you!
Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.
October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014
Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife
I agree, when you are in the middle of it, it becomes a blurred line and it is hard to see, think or even breathe sometimes. The cancer journey is that way, as well as the grief journey. I too am just now coming to grips with the reality of how sick my dog was. I have been finding random vet bills from his illness and can see with clarity what I could not let myself see a year ago. No matter how much I wanted it, he was not going to beat this beast. Angry, oh yes, angry at myself, the vet, cancer, you name it. Did I wait too long? Yes! Not long enough? No, no decision feel s right when you are in the midst of this. It will ebb an flow for quite awhile. You will take a step forward and 2 back. That is ok. Grief is a very personal journey and what works for one, may not help at all for another. I was a picture person, I needed them. I made a garden in his honor, made him a scrapbook. My suggestion for his things, even if you feel like tossing everything, perhaps put some things away to revisit later. I have a friend hat threw away all reminders of her horse and now regrets having nothing but a few pictures. At just shy of a year, I can reflect back on Ty's life and have it not be all about his last few months. Cancer happens to our dogs, but should not mar the wonderful memories we carry in our hearts. Only time can do that healing. I am so sorry for how you are feeling, Kathi, you too. I still remember the raw unbearable grief. It just hurts so darn bad. There is nothing that seems to make it better. Just know that we hold you close here. We are thinking of you. We get it. Post often, it does help some. Hugs from, Lori, Ty & Gang
TY GUY, Best Black Lab ever! Diagnosed and had amp in January, 2014. Kicked MRSA's butt. Earned his angel wings on April 16, 2014. Run Free my boy and don't forget a shoe. Ty is a proud member of the " April Angels". Ty sent us Daryl, a Tripawd rescue in Sept. of 2016. Daryl is 5 +or -. We are also Pawrents to Chandler, a Border Collie mix who is 15 and 1/2, Lucy, a Corgi who is 7, 2 minis, 2 horses, and a feisty cat named Zoe. Zoe had a non skeletal Osteosarcoma removed in July 2015. No Chemo, she was at least 16. She is going strong although she is now completely blind. She is now close to 20 and her hobbies are eating and sleeping in front of her personal heater.
The love and support here will carry you. Continue to stay connected.
Alison and Lori said it all so well, really, really well. And Pam had onlh a very short time before Harmony crossed kver after her amputation. Yet here they all are, right along with Kathi, showing you that you will get through this. No, never over it, just through it.
Second guesskng the timing of our decisions just comes with the responsibility. And the responsibility of making the decision at the "perfect" time is impossible! We are humans..not a "God" or a. "All knowing presence".. Yet this journey forces us to put ourselves in that position of trying to figure out the right time. So the dance goes in in our head...."I did it too soon" or "I did it too late". "I should have seen he was ready to go earlier." I should have seen she wasn't ready to go and wanted to stay a while longer".
All we can do is not let that piece of crap disease continuje to try and interfere with the lovely memories that our pups want us to immerse ourselves in everyday. We have to TRUST the "timing" took place in a way that was in sync with their soul's purpose. The timing of the transition was vuided from a dimension we cannot u derstand from our human selves.
Omay, enough of my ramblings. We understa d a d sevew all been in that seemingly never ending unbearably ssd place. We are still standing...and so will you.
Love
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle.
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Thanks everyone. I appreciate all of you and it gives me hope that I will be able to move on from the sadness and anger. I don't even know what I am at the moment. This sounds stupid but I can't believe he's gone I want him back. I'm not crazy but I was crying hysterically today in my kitchen begging Marshall to come back. How is this possible he isn't here. I got complacent with this ugly disease and took for granted that it would come back. I treated him like a regular dog again after a while. We just did normal things and didn't think about it coming back with a vengence to take our best buddy. In the beginning we focused on when is it coming back but when he continued to do well we got spoiled. I have some guilt bc I had a baby in December and for about a month to month and a half after I wasn't doing much with him. My family was but I wasnt. I was recovering from a c section and taking care of the baby. He was effected by it im sure. And the the day she turned two months old is the day we found out about his tumor in his lungs. He hadn't been well for a while before that but at first it diagnosed as an eye infection and I didn't realize he was more tired at first bc he spent more time crated during the day while I healed. I had a few complications. So he was sick and I didnt know. I feel guilty. I'm looking back and I think that he hasn't been himself since his pancreatitis in November. Not sick sick but declining some. I'm rambling I know I just need to get this out. I wish that I was able to still be the mom that Marshall needed for the month after she was born. I feel guilty and I want him back. Ok enough whining and crying for tonight. I'm not even sure this post makes sense I'm crying and rambling.
I'm not getting rid of anything of his. I actually don't want anything to change from how it was when he was here last. I sleep with his collar on my nightstand. His crate is currently closed off and in his water bottle we have orange roses. He was the Orange collar boy of his litter. Doc will be moving into his crate soon bc he's oitgrowing his but I'm not ready for that yet. I still have no clue how to add pictures on here.
Okay, we do have to fuss at you jist a lottle bit. Get ready....We don't ever want to hear our beloved friend (YOU) apologize for "venting!!!
You NEED to get it all out. You NEED to say these things to your friends here who understand and who do NOT sit in judgement! Post on nere a hundred times a day if you need to! Sometimes getting these thoughts out ofnyour jead and onto a computer helps you get through that moment...one moment at a time.
Marshall liked "normal". Getting back to normal and livi g without worrying is exactly the right way to live!!
And my goodness, a baby, a C section...you had your hands full! Marshall was just content being with his family! He knew how much you loved him...never doubt that!! EVER!
Keep posting...ppst, post, post! It's important to know how supported you are by those who understand.
Do you have anynpictures with Marshall next to the baby? No, not Baby Doc...the human baby! And how has Baby Doc been handling thi gs?
Lots lf hugs to you tonight...
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
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