We all grieve in our own way and in our own time.  You thought about this long and hard before you made your decision.  And the decision you made was born of your love for Ivan.  Better for him to have go enveloped in your arms and in your love than in fear and terror at the end of a catch pole with strangers after another incident. 

There is no greater gift than to release a troubled dog from his demons.  Tell your friend to shut up. 

OMD.  The hurtful words of well meaning friends! I remember one of my closest friends telling me "you were always too attached to that dog!". Needless to say it wasn't very helpful and I have avoided her until I feel stronger.

You are definitely not crazy. And time is irrelevant when it comes to love. Whether it's 2 weeks, 2 years or 12 years, dogs have a way of worming there way into our hearts.  Unfortunately a large number of people just don't get it when it comes to the love we humans can have for our dogs (or other animals).  My advice would be to not expect most people to understand. They just don't get it. My brother said it well, he said "I'd like to say that I understand how you feel but I don't.  But I know that Magnum meant a lot to you and I'm sorry you are hurting". 

Look for people who understand that special bond between human and animal to share your grief with.  I was lucky that my husband understood but none of my close friends or family understood at all.  I found compassion and understanding through Tripawds and from a couple of less close friends who had really loved and lost dogs as I had. They were there for me because they really understood.

We are here for you. We understand how painful it is and also how lonely it can be when the people around you don't get it.

Karen and Spirit Magnum

kungfunurse said

Later she said that I was over reacting a bit much, and remember , SHE knows how to separate dogs from humans,...How is knowing that there is a worse situation out there supposed to make me feel better?"

To put it simply, some people just dont get it. Whether the 'getting it' has to do with the type of situation you are in and/or their inability to empathize/sympathize with what you are going through, either way, it can be frustrating when you need some comfort.  The last thing you want is criticism. I've recently been going through this with people I live with and go to school with and 'not getting' what I'm going through. It makes you more frustrated in the process. 

And to put it simply, your 'friend' just doesn't get it.  She's obviously not a dog person.  I just spent nearly $3k on my dog's internal foxtail issues.  I don't tell that to certain people because they will tell me she is just a 'dog', but she's not. We've grown up together, we are going through grad school together and I can't stand seeing her in pain.  So, no you are not crazy. Not unless all of us here on tripawds.com are crazy, which we may very well be

http://tripawds.....-foxtails/ is my equivalent forum to yours when I was dealing with people that just didn't get it. I've learned to not talk about deep and personal stuff with them because I'm not going to get comfort, only more 'not understanding' and possibly judgement with the way I handled a catch 22 type of situation.  Its also taught me who my true friends are, those who are there to support me when life is hitting me at full force, even if they have never exactly been in my shoes (nobody can). They have the ability to empathize/sympathize and they don't judge.

It's so easy to get yourself stuck in this self-criticizing loop of "what I coulda, shoulda" done". But all we can do is make decisions based on the present situation. We can't go into the future to see the repercussions, nor can we go back into the past to 'fix' them, if 'fix' is even possible.  And we will all keep reminding you that you did the best under the circumstances and that you shouldn't doubt the decisions you made. You were in a rough situation with curve balls thrown from all directions.  We will keep telling you this and keep supporting you for as long as you need.

-Nicole

Tell her to bugger off!!!! Only share your grief with those who understand (like us :-)!!!  Some people just dont get the impact animals can have on someones life. She sounds like a very narrow minded person if she believes that your child would come 2nd place to dogs. We do what we can for our pets but our kids will always come first closely follow by the pets of course and somewhere near the end is the men in our lives 🙂 better not tell my husband that one though. Try and keep your distance a bit till you are stronger and more able to deal with her remarks as otherwise it will just make it harder to heal, if you do see her and she does make more hurtful comments just let them go and don't take them to heart.

Big hugs from us

Sarah, Kayla and Grandpa Sarge

Well, K probably doesn't really know how to help you and thinks a dose of tough love is what you need. I imagine that's really her thinking.

If she walked down the street and saw a dog with injuries as severe as Ivan's laying in the bushes, would she walk on? If she saw a bleeding, burned, tortured cat laying there, would she walk on? If she would stop and do what she could to help (even just calling animal control), then I'd be inclined to think she's just frustrated because she doesn't know how to relate to you right now. But if she'd walk on, I'd probably walk away from her. But I'd walk away from anyone who would also turn their back on anything like that.

I have actually stepped back from "friends" who laugh at me for catching spiders in upside-down dixie cups and releasing them outside. I don't expect my friends to do the same thing, but don't laugh at me for it. If you can turn your back on a bleeding, burned animal then you can turn your back on a bleeding, burned human. And then I don't want to know you.

You don't have to save the world, but for God's sake don't leave your campsite in worse condition than you found it. If you know what I mean.

But that's my opinion, worth every cent you paid for it. And for the record, school district employees have me tagged as a "strong personality" which is just "bitch" said nicely. (But hey, we special ed parents have been forced into that conundrum and maybe companions of abused dogs have, as well. Sometimes being an advocate means you become a bitch.)

Shari

Like folks have said, we all heal in our own time and way, and what we generally tell folks is to surround yourself with people who are dog people, because they will "get it."  We've all had someone say "it was just a dog," but we understand deep down that we've connected with another spirit in a way that others aren't fortunate enough to have done.  We've had a bond that they won't share; we've been lucky to have been adored by a dog and loved them equally in return.

So like Jackie said, maybe a new friend is in order -- or at least avoid this one until you are feeling stronger.  We are here for you, and we get it!!!

Rio's momma, Micki