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Colorado
Member Since:
15 March 2023
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1
25 July 2023 - 10:01 pm
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I said goodbye to Ellie yesterday, only 4 months after her diagnosis.  The only peace is knowing she no longer hurts. everything else is in turmoil as I sift through all the emotions. I put more detail on my blog, but I wanted to post here as well to pay tribute to the best dog, really the best individual, I have ever known. I have been listening/watching 3 things on repeat: a video montage memorial I made for Ellie, and 2 poems from Andrea Gibson called “I stopped waiting for Awe to find me” and “A Letter to My Dog, Exploring the Human Condition” I hope you guys enjoy all 3.

t=87s&ab_channel=AndreaGibson

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Member Since:
7 May 2023
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26 July 2023 - 2:20 am
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Oh Whitney, I am so very sorry, that was not the post I wanted to see when I woke up this morning, I am here crying my eyes out for you, this disease is so evil, it is just not fair, Ellie deserved to have more time but it was not to be, you did everything right and for the best possible reasons and gave Ellie more happy times than she would have had if you hadn’t gone through the journey you did.

The tribute video you have done is beautiful, it is obvious that Ellie was and is loved so much and that is all anyone could wish for. Only time will make the pain recede, my thoughts are with you today, I will cuddle Kaya even closer today and think of Ellie x

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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26 July 2023 - 4:23 am
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Noooooooo.....Cannot believe this!!!   

Shopping so hard right now. Just crying my eyes out. I can't even watch the videos and I can't even go to your blog right now.  my heart is broken. Just can't wrap my head around this. Sending you love and peace for now

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

New England
Member Since:
11 January 2022
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26 July 2023 - 5:28 am
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I'm so sorry, Whitney.  

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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5
26 July 2023 - 9:33 am
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Still now words............just lots and lots of tears

I remember when a member named Vic posted this when a dog named Juno crossed over.  For some reason I always held onto it and it showed up today.....maybe it was sent to you by 3llie, our dear beloved Ellie

 

Love is always tragic to part with, in the shared day-to-day journey... I offer you this blessing and prayer in your sadness...

May you find many moments where you see Ellie's everlasting pawprint in your life.

May the day come soon when the stories you tell of Ellie are rife with laughter and audacity, inventing legendary heights to the fame that was this magical companion sent to grace your life.

May you see the flash of Ellie's furry coat out the corner of your eyes, watching over you for all the rest of your days.

May you feel the peace Ellie has now.

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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26 July 2023 - 10:18 am
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I'm still bawling, Whitney. I just can't believe it happened so dang fast.icon_cry My heart hurts for all the pain and sadness you are feeling right now, I wish I could take it away, like all the times that Ellie made you smile on days when you weren't feeling it, during life's tough times when she showed you what matters. Her beautiful eyes, her soft paw on your arm, the love she showed every living creature.

Thank you for sharing the beautiful tribute, and the poems. I hadn't heard of Gibson. Wow. Watch Ellie's story ten thousand times, hold those good days in your heart, and remember that her spirit is always that little bouncy ball of puppy energy that won your heart for life. She won ours too, and we will miss her so much.

We never have long enough with our animals, and when things like this happen, it feels so incredibly unfair. I'm so sorry. 

It was truly an honor to meet her, and you. I so rarely get to do that in our community, it was such a gift. Thank you. Ellie's beautiful, loving spirit will stay in my memory and heart forever.

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Member Since:
4 July 2023
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26 July 2023 - 12:47 pm
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Whitney,

I’m reading this through tears.  I’m so sorry.  Just last week, you were offering words of support to me and I want to be there for you in any way I can.  I can see what a special bond the two of you shared and it’s clear she adored you.  Your tribute is beautiful.  I hate this cancer so much. Sending hugs.  

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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27 July 2023 - 11:40 am
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Cannot begin to tell you how many times I have come back to this thread and how many times I have gone to your blog wanting to write something,  anything.  Words to try and express how heartbroken we all are and how very much we all love Ellie.  Nothing flowing.  Not today either.

You've been in my heart and in my thoughts  24/7 though.

Still haven't  watched the videos yet either.  I need to.  I want to. I want my Ellie fix.   I want to celebrate this one of a kind Dog Soul and her one of a kind hooman Soul.

I'll be back...........

Surrounding  you with Ellie's never ending love and eternal light

Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!

PS....Have Rene tell you about the Cardinal ♥️

I did just listen to Gibson.......WOW!  And you Ellie gave us all so many moments of WOW and AWE....and still are.....remeber, no finish line    

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Colorado
Member Since:
15 March 2023
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9
27 July 2023 - 1:13 pm
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Thank you all for the kind words, they are so touching and sweet.  Sally, everything in it's own time, I know I've some back to this post and my own blog as well meaning to have a thoughtful response to everyones kind words and there's just nothing, I don't know what to say...yet.

It tracks the I have an easier time on other peoples posts because I can talk about it indirectly.

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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10
27 July 2023 - 1:29 pm
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Whitney, you are such an enlightened Soul.  You and enlightened Elloe are  one heart meant ro be together on this earth journey and subsequent Spirit journey. 

Yeah, my words will flow once I can get into a guided state where my heart is speaking...or my Soul is speaking... and not be blocked by emotions.

You needn't  reply to any of us.  You take time to  nurture yourself  right now.  We understand.  You are surrounded  by so much love and, hopefully that can at least bring you some comfort.  

    ♥️♥️♥️

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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11
27 July 2023 - 10:55 pm
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Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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12
27 July 2023 - 11:08 pm
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     Martha Lowe of the Oaktown Pack sent me thos when Happy Hannah transitioned.   Things To Do when Your Dog Passes

   

Sweep the floor

Look out the window

Pant

Make a cup of tea and some toast

But then not eat them

Change the sheets on the bed

Try to sing

Start to cry

Forget what day it is

Stumble into a corner of the floor and hold your knees tightly

Keen

Pull yourself together

Make another cup of tea and this time drink it

Look out a different window

Stare at that spot on the floor where your dog used to stretch out, languid and happy, his paws twitching as he raced across sleep meadows and into dream ravines filled with moss and ferns and the scent of foxes

Look for the Kleenex

Use toilet paper instead

Wander around the house,  your heart like a damned anvil in your chest

Heat up leftovers

Push them around the plate before leaving the entire thing in the sink

Look for what is not there

Hear things

Feel the forgotten fur beneath your fingertips

Feel the forgetting begin

Hold a memory, any memory, bright and shining, soft and sad, smelling of wet fur and leaves, with a whisker there and muddy paw prints left on the stairs, of a walk of a hike of a trip to the park with a treat and a bone and a belly rub snacks stolen off the counter and tug of war and the squeaky toy a glance of complicity in play with your hand on head with tail wagging and breath misting in the morning light or the moon over the trees while an owl croons ears are pricked and nose to the ground sniffing, sniffing, sniffing following the invisible trail to its joyful finding

Put on your pajamas

Turn around three times before you curl up by the rope toy and find yourself chasing the echo of a bark into a night that will never end

Grow a tail

 

Catherine Young 11.27.12

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Colorado
Member Since:
15 March 2023
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13
28 July 2023 - 10:20 am
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Absolutely loved this Sally, thank you you for sharing. I did go back to work yesterday, but am lucky enough to work from home, and have a flexible set up so I am just doing mindless backlog, that could be put off, but needs to get done eventually, so it's perfect for my distracted brain.  Martha calls out trying to sing, I don't really sing but I like the creative outlet I've become very invested in shadow box for Ellie and I'm determined to paint a picture of her that will do her justice. I haven't painted in probably about a year, but I picked it up yesterday and it was simply joyful...the painting wasn't great, but I loved it- I'm looking forward to doing it again this evening. I did a watercolor subscription called Lets Make Art which had all these video tutorials along with the supplies which I adored (Sarah Cray is amazing), but discontinued cause it was pretty pricey and I didn't always like the monthly options, but a while back they released a dog kit with gouache that I got but have been too scared to try- so I broke it out and that's what I'm going to do this evening.  Ellie has so many freaking colors on her face so beautiful yet impossible to replicate, haha so I need to practice. I also know that doing those right brain activities lets your emotions flow without so much feeling if that makes sense, my only wish is that I had started this back when Ellie was first diagnosed probably would have helped a lot.

I tried my hand at a poem at 4:30 this morning when I was woken up by a thunderstorm and for a split second I forgot and looked for Ellie.

I woke up to thunder in the dark

each lightning strike illuminating the whole room for a split second of clarity

there's a chair that is making a shadow of you

that happens a lot right now

I can see you bravely looking down that thunder

you were never scared of it...just wary

I could feel you looking at me to make sure there wasn't anything to be worried about

there isn't sweet girl

as the rain starts to fall so do my tears

again

it's rained every single day you've been gone

I thought it was a sign that the world is sad you left

but rain, here in this place, is always a gift

now I see it's you

continuing to give us what we need

even if we don't know it is what we need

as I write this the thunder is fading in the distance

but I will look forward to the next time I hear it

neither scared nor wary

only loving

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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14
28 July 2023 - 11:29 am
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Oh Whitney, my dear, dear Whitney.  The poem....speechless yet again....lump in throat....the beauty of who you are...the depth of connection you have with Ellie and she with you.....♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

You are so aware of her presence with you .  Sometimes it brings you tears, sometimes the smiles, sometimes  comfort, sometimes the "awe", sometimes the "WOW", but always knowing she IS still with you in her energy form.  That's  not a dimension  everyone is open to, but for those who are the gifts are never ending. 

Your interpretation of words from the heart, from the "old Soul" part of you, from your guided self.....so full of grace and eloquence 

  

.Ellie has so many freaking colors on her face so beautiful yet impossible to replicate, haha so I need to practice

  Ellie really does have  a varied tapestry of colors.  Such a beautiful  girl♥️. We'll be waiting to see the results.  

Sending  you love..and more thunder storms😉

Sally and Alumni Happy  Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie too!.

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge



Member Since:
25 April 2007
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15
28 July 2023 - 4:32 pm
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Ohhhhhhh my gosh Whitney. That thunderstorm woke me up too! My eyes are all watery, thinking about what was going through your head when it happened.

What a beautiful, heartfelt poem about your experience in that moment. The thunder faded, but her life lessons never will.

Thank you so much for sharing.

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