harmony said

I thought the same thing, but now I'm thinking I was just looking so darn hard that I wasn't being receptive. What's signs for one person is different for another. Plus, my grief was really getting the best of me last week. It's funny, once I got the book and realized what was happening, I had a "come to Jesus" meeting with myself and I'm so much better now.

The discussion we (me, myself and I) had was, although grieving is a natural part of loss, it truly is an emotion that has more to do with me feeling sorry for myself. I don't have Harmony (or other lost loved-ones) here any more, at my leisure. My grief was a selfish thought of not being able to see, touch, or love my sweet girl; heartbroken that she left me, when I should be rejoicing in her transformation from this limited existence to one of beauty, joy and boundless love.

I still have my moments and I know I'll have to have another "come to Jesus" meeting again, but today I'm rejoicing (albeit through tears) that my sweet Harmony is living the high life!

<3<3<3

I love your perspective. I read this before work and thought about on my commute this a.m. after I dropped Jasper off for daycare. It does make perfect sense. I should rejoice in that I gave Shelby the ultimate gift I could - I released her from her tired and old body so she can be young and fresh again. She wasn't painful but she wasn't the same girl of her youth. She has all the perks of a younger Shelby and all the friends in the world. She is never sad. She is never alone. She is filled with endless love.

I will do my best to focus on that when I get sad or teary-eyed ... it is incredibly hard to see through the pain sometimes but what I did for Shelby was a blessing ... a gift. 

And Sally ... LOL - you're not that old! You are very wise and have had many experiences and you are a true gift to share those messages with us. I always think that you are able to "think outside the box" or "see the glass as half-full" rather than half-empty. It is a quality I wish that I could embrace. 

And Rene ... spot on, as always... Shelby will never ever leave me when I need her most and she knows the difference between "need" and "want" as that is when she visits the most. 

It feels unconventional but I still think it would be nice (whether they care or not) to bring Jasper w/me when I bring cookies to her vets... they were truly rays of sunshine and positivity and tremendous support in the days after Shelby passed. While I don't expect them to check-in on me, I do think it would be valuable and therapeutic for me to see them one last time. Well let's hope it's a last time and even if Jasper ever needs them, then at least they can know her from the beginning.  

Thank you my friends ... always lifting me up! I am trying ... It's the hardest struggle of my life but I am trying! For Shelby if for nothing else!