Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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This weekend her remaining front leg swelled because there was a mast cell tumor blocking the lymph gland in her armpit. She then started throwing up. Sunday night she would not go up the stairs to bed so I slept on the floor with her. I shoud say she slept a little and I just watched her, hugged her, cried and told her how much I loved her. This morning she would not stand at all and would not let the front leg touch the floor when I tried to help her up. Her tail still wagged and her eyes still glowed, but she was losing her battle and hurting. Not showing hurt, but impossible not to be in pain. My husband picked her up and she did not resist. I held her at the vets and she closed her eyes, fell asleep and passed.
The pain is indescribable. I hate myself for putting her down and hate myself for letting her hurt at all. Her mom and brother are still here and are trying to comfort me but are grieving in their own way. Bonnie is everywhere. Feeding the two dogs tonight without Bonnie and her meds, glucose check and insulin shot seemed like I was not doing anything at all. I miss her. I went to our bedroom to make the bed and saw her fur and slobber spot where she lays her head between our pillow and cried for a half hour. I open the refrigerator and see her insulin and cry. I see her pictures on the tables with her happy face and wagging tail and cry. She was my little trooper and I only hope that I can be half the person she thought I was. She is gone and I am lost. There is a hole in my heart that will never mend and I never want it to. Love seems to small a word for Bonnie. She was my life. I have never been that close to a dog or person. We were one and now I am incomplete. I feel like I am the one missing the leg now – Bonnie. She was my support, my joy, my soul. Life will never be the same without her.
chris-bonnie
So sorry for your loss. This is a very difficult time for you and your family. Try to remember all the good times you had with Bonnie, all the good things Bonnie taught you about life. Remember that she was given to you for a reason. Maybe that reason was so you could learn from her, maybe it was so you could be her Angel and give her the best life she could have.
Our sympathies are with you.
Eleanor & Chuy
Chuy, showing everyone that Tripawds do everything 3 times better than regular dogs!
I am so sorry for your loss. Your pain is throughout your post and I know that as much as we'd like to say something that would ease it, nothing will but time. I hope you can go easy on yourself and know how much you blessed Bonnie by releasing her before it got any worse. I admire you for helping her in that way because I think it's the hardest thing we pawrents have to do.
Peace to you (eventually, when it's time)
Mary and Cemil
Cemil and mom Mary, Mujde and Radzi….appreciating and enjoying Today
Dear Chris, I am very sorry that you had to let Bonnie go. My heart aches for you.
Bonnie was blessed to have you to fight the battles one after the other alongside with her. I feel for you as I fully understand that routines established in the past are now brutal reminders of the losses of our loved ones. You did your best and so did Bonnie. Grieve all you need to, but think of that you had given both Bonnie and yourself the extra quality months together. Bonnie is now in Heaven where there is no pain, no more suffering.
Thoughts and prayers are with you.
Love,
Jessie
I agree with Mary. Your pain is in every word. Please be kiind to yourself, we know and you know deep inside you made every decision with Bonnie's best interest at heart. That is the very most any of us can do.
Bonnie had a lot of battles to fight, and she fought with dignity because of you. You will miss her, you will grieve, but the good memories will one day replace the pain you feel now.
My heart is with you.
RIP sweet Bonnie, run free at Rainbow Bridge.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
My face is filled with tears. I am soooooooo sorry to hear that it was Bonnie's time to go to the bridge. She certainly did fight like a trooper and will always be an incredible hero. I know you are in excrutiating pain right now and your heart is aching for Bonnie but I pray that you will find peace with your decision to help her out of her pain. Please don't doubt the communication that she had with you in those last moments. They DO tell us that it is okay and they really ARE okay now... happily running and playing pain free with the wonderful Tripawd pack and of course Jerry to welcome her with open paws. Be kind to yourself and love yourself for being such a compassionate and nurturing soul. Bonnie will be with you in spirit to make sure you are taking care of yourself... watch for those signs! We are sending you warm, furry and healing hugs your way during this painful time.
Luv Spirit Jake, Smooch, Baby Gus & Mom (Sherri)
You are so very brave for sharing your loss and Bonnie's story. I send you love and peace as you mourn the loss of your girl. Your words are filled with great love and compassion for her. I had tears streaming down my face as I read each word. I pray that you take time to grieve and surround yourself with those who love you.
Remember your Tripawd family is also by your side, love & prayers,
Gineej & Paris
Grateful for every moment we had with Paris…..no regrets!
Honoring her life by opening our hearts & home to Addy!
Thank you all for you responses. It is now 24 hours and it is still getting worse, She was not there next to me thumping her tail. i went downstairs to feed the other two dogs and let them out. That is when it really hit me. I did not let her be outside before I put her down. We carried her directly to the car and then directly in. I didn't let her smell the morning. I did not give her that last chance to stand up outside. Maybe she would have. Oh my God, I know she hurt and probably would not have stood up and I still would have put her down, but I was so consumed with my grief ahead of time that I took her last moments away. She loved the spring breeze, the cold bricks. I took her from her rough night to death with nothing in between. I know it would not have made a difference but I was so self absorbed that I robbed both of us of a final memory.
I love you all for all your help and warmth but have no idea how I can forgive myself let alone expect Bonnie to for robbing her of that.
I am sorry to ramble on so. I want to hear her, I want to feel her fur. I hope those feelings will come back and I long for some sort of sign.
I try not to cry because I do not want to burden my remaining two dogs but it is hard. Especially on such a beautiful day without my angel by my side.
chris-bonnie
Chris, you did not rob anything from Bonnie, on the contrary, you gave her your selfless love and made the painful decision. Bonnie knew.
I could not forgive myself of not asking the vet to assess Genie one more time; perhaps prednisone would help? perhaps …. But deep down inside me I knew that within a long weekend, she had come to from standing on three to a complete paralysis, there was slim chance of anything anyone of us mortals could do to reverse it. I just knew that God was calling Genie home. I know it, but I still have the guilt.
At my uncle's funeral service last Saturday, the pastor gave the following words of encouragement, I cannot remember the exact words he used as my floodgate was opened. I am paraphrasing it here … life is like getting on, and getting off a tour bus. It is not only about the “getting on and off”, it is more about what happens in between; did you doze off the whole time? or did you enjoy every scenery? That is what matters.
Love, Jessie.
Thank you Jessie. That is exactly how I feel. The guilt is there - like a huge elephant in the room. There is a rational part of me that knows I did so much, but I will always wish I had done more. I want to see her. I want to hear her and feel her. I realize that I have never mourned a human being like I am mourning her. My grown children tell me that I am overreacting but I explained that it is different. We raise our children to be independent, to grow up and leave us. We push them to go. On the other hand, we raise our pets to be totally dependent, to wait for us, not to run off without us, not to eat anything we don't provide. We raise them to make us the center of their world and, in doing so, set ourselves up for the greatest pain in the world when they leave. Bonnie has given me the full spectrum of emotions - the joy of her birth an the first time her tripawd walk, the joy of her first poop after amputation, and the pain of the news of cancer, the amputation and then the all encompassing pain of losing her. God has her now and she will give him the happiness. i will ache forever but it is good to hear that I am not the only one that lets the guilt get to her.
Thank you all for being there. Your support is priceless and so, so comforting.
chris-bonnie
Chris, I know your pain is intense and the grief unbearable, but think about this: maybe Bonnie's pain was so great that she just wanted you to hurry and release her. She must have known that her last time outside was the last time, even if you didn't, and maybe she just wanted freedom from the pain. Her desire might have influenced you. I know that dogs are the most forgiving creatures on the planet, and I'm sure Bonnie would not want you beating yourself up like this. You were being compassionate. She knows that and I'm sure she still loves you like always. Watch for a sign.
I hope you can feel her love and come to forgive yourself. Meanwhile, we're here for you.
Mary
Cemil and mom Mary, Mujde and Radzi….appreciating and enjoying Today
Chris
I am so sorry you are going through this. You did everything that needed to be done to make Bonnie's final transition one of peace. She knows that. If not for you here life would have not made it the 10 months post amputation. If not for you Bonnie would not have had the incredible life you gave her. I know there is always room for asking what else could I have done, because everything is never enough.
I hope in time you will come to feel that Bonnie is really still here with you. Open your heart and allow those memories and love she had for you to soothe some of that pain. It has been 3 months since we said goodbye to Wrigley- it sitll hurts, but I find something each day to honor her by living as she lived- loving life and ejoying the blessings of each day. That was the lesson she needed us to learn. I still have conversations with her. I can see her riding shotgun with me just as she always did. I snuggle with her ruff wear harness because that has so much of her smell and hair still on it. I bless her for sending us Willow to help make us laugh again and to allow Rookie to run as he did with her before she was a tripawd. I call upon her to give me the strength when sadness overcomes me. Most of all I know she will be waiting for me when we meet again. It is hard to say goodbye- we must rely on a great amount of faith.
I send you big hugs of comfort. I hope you know that Bonnie is in God's kingdom now- living and running pain free with all the other tripawds. Bonnie is not at any moment thinking that the care you gave her was anything but the best there ever was.
You are in our prayers.
Seanne and Angel Wrigley
Thank you both for your responses. It really does help to talk to you all. No one else can appreciate what we have been through. I really identify with you, Seanne, about the harness. I am carrying it around with me all the time right now. That is all I seem to have with her smell on it. It's amazing, her mom and brother are in full shed so there are tons of dog hair around. Bonnie did not shed after all the chemo. She got her fur back but not enough to shed. She was so soft and so clean so her smell is hard to find. The harness and strap that the hospital gave us are all we have. I have the spot on our bed sheets, but sooner or later I am going to have to break down and wash them. She did not use her harness at the end because it pushed on the area of her tumor so the smell is not as heavy as I would like it.
I went out back to wander and saw our swimming pool with the attached jacuzzi. The jacuzzi was Bonnie's. It is round and has the seat all the way around. She would get in there and swim round and round. We bought those battery operated fish and put them in there so she could play. She would swim and play and dip her head down to grab one when they went under. It was her spot. The other two dogs swam in the pool so she had it all to herself. When I looked out, there was a solitary fish. It was as if it was waiting for Bonnie. And there go the tears again. I never had a dog that hugged me the way she did, so I am really grateful for all your hugs. Thanks folks. It is a long journey and it really is lonesome right now.
chris-bonnie
Please know that you did the right thing by releasing Bonnie from her broken body. And by sharing her story here, you are certain to help others who may face the same difficult decisions with their pups down the road. Bonnie shall live on in your heart – and online here – forever. Bless you for taking such good care of her. Peace.
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Chris, I so wish I could find something in my vast verbal babble that could help relieve your pain. The only thing I can think to share that may help in a small way is to remind you how our tripawds live. They live for the moment. They love us unconditionally, and trust us explicitly. They trust us to take care of them. They come out of surgery ready to face thier new world. They trust us to help them a day or so, and then they are back on their own meeting each moment, each day.
Grieving is a necesarry process. We must come to terms with our loss in our on time in our own way. I'm sending thoughts for peace to find you soon.
Shanna & Spirit Trouble ~ Trouble gained her wings 3/16/2011, a 27 1/2 month cancer survivor, tail wagging. RIP sweetheart, you are my heart and soul. Run free at Rainbow Bridge.
The November Five - Spirits Max, Cherry, Tika, Trouble & Nova. 11/2008 - 3/2013 An era ends as Queen Nova crossed the Bridge.
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