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A Piece of my heart is gone
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Member Since:
25 May 2013
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8 December 2013 - 11:17 am
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Wednesday December 4th was the hardest day of my life, I had to say good bye to my best friend, my therapist, the love of my life, shoulder to cry one...I could go on and on. Athena was my faithful companion for almost 14 years and I wonder how I am going to go on without her. 

I am so grateful to have had this forum to ask questions and for support, six months ago when we got the osteosarcoma diagnosis I was devastated but finding this site and being able to ask questions and do research really helped me feel I was doing the right thing for her. 

We opted for the amputation of her hind leg and went thru 5 rounds of Chemo-her chest xray and ct scan were all clear so I thought we were going to be one of the lucky ones.

Then a little over a month ago Athena lost her bark and we tried antibiotics, prednisone and thought it might be laryngeal paralysis so we did a scope and they found a mass-on the initial biopsy it was just inflammatory tissue so we tried prednisone,pepcid and tramadol and did another biopsy 2 weeks later. They got more aggressive with the biopsy and accompanied it with a CT scan and it came back that the osteosarcoma had mets to her larynx. I guess this is a very rare place for OS to mets they could only find one other case in the literature. 

Tuesday at 1am she woke me up breathing so hard it sounded like she was gasping for breathe and I took her to the ER vet and they had to sedate her to calm her down so she could breathe. I was given few options on wednesday give her a tracheotomy that would be a permanent fix until the tumor and inflammation made it impossible for her to eat or drink or do a total laryngectomy (sp) and she would have to be on a feeding tube possibly for the rest of her life. 

I wanted to take her home to have more time to think about it how could I make such an important choice right now?? The vet told me it would inhumane to take her home because there was a strong possibility she would choke to death :(

I made the hardest decision of my life to let her go, I held her until she took her last breathe and didn't want to ever let her go.

Athena and I were brought together at a time in my life where I needed her so much, I had just moved to a new city and barely new a soul. She and I shared heartbreaks, sad times, good times-I have had her for about 80% of my adult life, I do not want to have to learn how to function without her :(  

I hope I made the right decision but what I wouldnt give for just one more day! I guess it is natural to second guess yourself at this point especially when it hurts so much.

 

 
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Idaho
Member Since:
12 March 2013
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8 December 2013 - 11:45 am
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Our sincere sympathy to you. I guess it doesn't matter how old we are (or they are), losing our best friend is the hardest thing to do. You know, though, that you gave her every chance and you will remember her forever.

Kathi and Murphy

Murphy is a five year old Lab/Chessie cross. He was hit by a car on 10/29/12 and became a Tripawd on 11/24/12. On 2/5/13, he had a total hip replacement on his remaining back leg. He has absolutely no idea that he has only three legs!

UPDATE: Murphy lived his life to the fullest, right up until an aggressive bone lesion took him across the Rainbow Bridge on April 9, 2015 and he gained his membership in the April Angels. Run free, my love. You deserve it!

Virginia







Member Since:
22 February 2013
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8 December 2013 - 12:13 pm
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Yes, we all derstand when you say "a piece of your heart is gne". The hurt, the sadness, it makes it jard to even breathe.

Thank yo for sharng so much of who she is and what she means to you.

80% of your adult life was filled with the most jouful love and deep connection with Athena that many dn't get to experience...or recognize it when it's there! She is your forvever friend.....FOREVER friend! NOTHING can separate that kind of soul deep bond.

You made...without questin...the very best decision for Athena...a very selfless gift of love n your part. A gift she knew she could count on for you to give when she needed it most.

I know her whole life she was surrounded by your love as she surrounded you with hers. I also know these past five months she has been more spoiled and more loved that either of you thought possible!!

Hold n to those wonderful memories, those times when you snuggled, those times when she "slobber kissed" :you, those times when she wagged her tail so hard you thought it would falloff...just because she was hapy to see you. Those are the times that will eventually mend your heart. Those are the times Athena wants you to remember soyour heart will be whole. And that's were she will always be, nestled ssafe and sound within you ALWAYS!

Athena is a BEAUTIFUL soul and your partnership will never be broken. Her love for you will always be there illuminating your life's path.

When yo can,pease share more photos and and stories ofyour journey together. ' Would love to see puppy pictures!

Athena will ALWAYS be remembered here. Her life mattered. She will contiue to inspire others with her story of courage and determination.....and fun!!

Surrounding you with Athena's eternal grace.

Sally and Happy Hannah

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

Member Since:
15 December 2012
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8 December 2013 - 12:57 pm
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Janelle,

So sorry to hear about the loss of Athena. It is always so tough when that time comes when we are not ready but it sounds like you did the right thing for Athena. She would appreciate everything you did for her especially letting her go. Now the really hard part of living without her. I lost my dog in April and I still miss her but the pain isn't so raw now. I hope time heals your heart and you are left with happy memories.

Penny, Blink and Spirit Maggie

Montana
Member Since:
1 February 2013
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8 December 2013 - 3:09 pm
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Remember that she also made your heart larger because of loving her. She will be with you always.

Thinking of you,
Luanne and Spirit Shooter

Spirit Shooter was a Miniature Australian Shepherd who was diagnosed with a MCT and had a LF amp 1/28/13 at 13-1/2 years old. 

Shooter crossed the Bridge on 8/28/13, his 7 month ampuversary and two weeks from his 14th birthday.

http://shooter......ipawds.com

Member Since:
18 September 2013
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8 December 2013 - 3:39 pm
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I'm very sorry you lost your dear friend, Athena.

May the many memories you have of her help you over the weeks to come and eventually bring a smile back to your face.

 

Hugs

Linda and Tucker

Atlanta, GA
Member Since:
12 February 2013
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8 December 2013 - 3:54 pm
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I am truly sorry you had to lose Athena.  I made the same choice in August with my baby Brendol.  As hard as it is, it was the most compassionate decision for your baby girl.  May your heart heal and you have wonderful memories of beautiful Athena.

Adelaide is a young tripawd Husky, from an injury.  Her amp was on 10/1/12.  She has 4 sisters, Aissa (a senior border collie/chow), Maggie May (a puppy Great Pyrenees), Mathilde and Morrigan and 1 baby brother, Bagheera.  We are all watched over by our angel Brendol, who was dx with OSA 1/30/13, amp on 2/6/13, and left us on 8/20/13.

PitaPata - Personal picturePitaPata Dog tickers

 You can read their stories at http://adelaide.tripawds.com and http://brendol.tripawds.com
Southwestern Ontario, Canada
Member Since:
22 November 2012
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8 December 2013 - 7:52 pm
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The bridge just became more beautiful with Athena's arrival!! Breathe deep that fresh clean crisp air Athena... chase those squirrels, run in the river and drink that thirst quenching, deliciously, clear refreshing water!  Watch out for that gofy live and white Springer Spaniel named Franklin.. DO NOTstand down wind!!  I warned you!

Nothing, NOTHING hurts as much as letting that leash go one last time.....  nothing hurts as much as the want for just one... more... day..   BUT.. you gave the most loving gift, the most unselfish present to your baby girl.. by not letting her struggle anymore!!!  I know what it is like to have a hard time breathing when an asthma attack hits.. thank goodness it does not happen very often.  But our fur kids don't think the way we do.. they can't calm themselves down by breathing slowly.. inhaling, exhaling.. and calming themselves.  All the realize is that something is not working right and it is stressful and panicky for them.   You did not want her to be that way.. and you did an amazing, loving act, holding your sweet girlie until she wan for the meadow.  How lucky she was to be in your arms to say goodbye... so lucky.. so loved.. 

You know she i in your heart.. always will be.. nothing can take that away... never!

hugs to you ... and yours.. 

Christine.... with Franklin in her heart♥

Franklin, he was the Happiest Dog on Three Legs! Diagnosed 09/26/2012 with Osteosarcoma, amputated 12/4/2012.  Had a wonderful 5 1/2 months painfree until he ran for the Bridge on 5/15/2013.  Always in my heart, and always a guardian angel of my pack...   You can follow his Tripawd Adventures, before and after, in my blog, Frank'n'Farter!

Fort Wayne, IN
Member Since:
25 January 2013
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8 December 2013 - 7:56 pm
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I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I know it's heartbreaking and takes much time to heal.  My vet always said it's the last act of kindness we do for our pets....ease their pain.  My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Liberty (Libby) was diagnosed with OSA on 1-22-13.  Right front amputation on 1-31-13. No IV Chemo. Metronomic Therapy started 2-19-13 along with supplements and some home cooking. Lungs clear until 1-06-14.  She's still her happy, hoppy, bossy self.  Living the dog life to the fullest and a proud Winter Warrior. :) RIP my Libby 4-21-03 to 3-19-14

On The Road


Member Since:
24 September 2009
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8 December 2013 - 9:59 pm
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Oh Janelle, my condolences and sympathies go out to you, I am so so sorry. Yes, osteosarcoma to the larnyx is extremely rare, we've never had a case before Athena's. I can't imagine what a shock it was to you and I know that at this moment it's got to just be so painful to reflect on what's happened. Please know that if you'd like to scream, cry, yell, vent, whatever, we are here to listen. Cancer is so mean, we understand completely.

Losing such an integral part of your life isn't an easy thing to overcome. Give yourself lots of time to heal and know that what you are feeling right now is understandable. Take as much time as you need to come to terms with what's happened and don't let anyone devalue your feelings. Dealing with such raw emotion is hard and the only thing that helps is time. You will learn to live life without her, but it's hard at first. Just remember that Athena's strength that she gave you will carry on into your life to help you overcome difficulties like this; that kind of gift never goes away.

May you treasure your life together and hold those memories close for all time. Athena may not be with you physically, but she's always there in spirit. Listen and watch carefully, she'll never leave your side.

 

Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet

Tolland, CT
Member Since:
7 March 2013
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8 December 2013 - 10:06 pm
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Janelle, you and Athena followed the path that I took with Roxie in September, and that so many others have taken.  She, too, had mets that progressed much more quickly than anyone expected.  I saw and felt her panic when her breathing became labored.  The choice we made was really no choice at all, given the love we all have for our best companions.  I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope all the memories you made over those 14 years will soon crowd out the sadness; she'll always be with you in your heart.

 

-Liz and Angel Roxie

Columbia, MO
Member Since:
10 December 2011
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11 December 2013 - 8:56 pm
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So sorry for your loss.  Safe journey Athena.

Marla and Daisy

My Two Tripawds...Biscuit and Spirit Daisy

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