Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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It takes a lot of energy to write on here about Sissy because I am then forced to face my feelings. I do think it is important though because I do not want her to fade from my memories. My grandmother died very young and now it has been 10 years and I struggle to remember what her voice sounds like. I don't want to forget. Since giving up alcohol 3 months ago, everything has been hitting me from all angles. Now I don't have something to numb me, so I have to cope with my whole self. I was absolutely traumatized when Sissy died in front of me. Now I have learned that my mother has Secondary Progressive MS, my sister has chosen a self destructive path, a friend of mine died suddenly of a heart attack, and when ever I log on to Facebook I learn that someone passed or was diagnosed with something terrible. I mean I understand that this is life and nothing lasts forever, but I don't think anyone is ever prepared or knows how to handle these things. I'm constantly in fear of everything now and the anxiety is crippling (good thing I don't work). I haven't been calling on Sissy for strength, but now I will. Life is something else. 
Heidi, thanks for checking in. These anniversaries stir up all sorts of emotions and I'm glad that writing is good therapy for you. Write away, we are here without judgement.
Congrats on your sobriety, that is no small feat. But I'm real sorry to hear about your loved ones. That is so tough. Sometimes it does seem like there is nothing but heartache all around us. That's when we are called on to try even harder to find the good in this world. I often say if it wasn't for Tripawds I would have lost my faith in humanity long ago. But here, through all the sadness that happens, there is sooo much good, and love, and beauty, that I have learned to see it is there, you just have to look for it.
I don't know if you've tried meditation before, but it has also helped me cope with many of life's small and big challenges, by teaching me how to keep a steady, strong, balanced mind throughout it all. Here is a video from the meditation app that I use, which explains this concept:
Tripawds Founders Jim and Rene
tripawds.com | tripawds.org | bemoredog.net | triday.pet
Jerry shared some wise and heartfelt thoughts with you. The meditation video can benefit us all.
We all appreciate the courage it takes to continue to check in here. We all care about you, so it's always good to hear from you. We all support you. We all applaud the successes you have had in moving forward with your "life lessons" and the strength it takes to tackle those challenges.
You have an extraordinary gift of self awareness, insight and unshakable courage!! You may not always see those traits in yourself, but we do.😎 Your hurdles have been heavy. But you know what? You're still standing!!!
You also have the wisdom from all your profound life's experiences to choose where you place your focus. You have the ability to see the world in a way that empowers you and enhances the beautiful Soul you were born to be. This is new to you. In the past, your perception (albeit false perception) was that you could numb yourself against anything that caused you pain or fear. Of course, that also meant you numbed yourself to all the joys and happiness that surrounded you.
I'd like to add one more thing.....and very important thing:
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
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