Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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I would love to get a weigh in on something that I've been thinking a lot about recently. No judgements, please, just thoughtful consideration and opinion...
When we found out that Rio's medication wasn't working, and the doctor said it could be anywhere from a few weeks to a few months, I mentioned that I wanted to do a Grand Canyon trip with her. Kind of a "one last hurrah" sort of a thing. An opportunity to set in stone some additional memories of my girl while I still had the chance. (Not that I have to go somewhere fabulous to make sweet memories with my girl, but this was like a pilgrimage, something epic to mark the final chapter of a really lengthy battle.)
First a little behind the scenes data:
Many of you already know that my husband was laid off almost a year ago -- right around the same time that I found Rio's new tumor. We burned through both his severance and his 401K (which had already lost about half it's value when the bottom dropped out of the market) paying for both Rio's vet bills and a number of other unfortunately-timed "life maintenance" sorts of things -- tires for both vehicles, trip to CO for a funeral (which also required engine repairs on the truck to get back home) -- you know the kinds of things that start hitting the fan in rapid succession when you're already struggling. So not to lose you all in the gory details.... We've both been working on a number of different angles to make some additional money, and he's been hustling non-stop to get a consulting biz started up, but we've still been really limping along from month to month, with no real end in sight.
And finally, the point of this saga:
This trip, if it's going to happen with Rio as a part of it, needs to happen pretty soon. (Just to be clear -- I'm not yet seeing any new and overt signs of physical decline, but the dr. said it could be fairly quick when it starts to happen.)
I am sorely tempted to just do it, and then figure out how to pay off the credit card later... Is that being completely irresponsible? Should I just go for it because the opportunity won't exist forever? I hate to have yet another bill that we can't afford to pay, but I also sense that I'm up against the clock here. If I don't do it, I know that I'll be plagued with regrets and recriminations. I'll feel like I not only let her down, but I let myself down, too.
Tell me, what you would do if faced with a similar quandary? I think it'll help me see both sides of the equation a little more clearly if I can get some unbiased (or even biased 
) feedback.
Grazie!
Rio's momma
 |
~ ~ Rio ~ ~ |
we all know that money is important, and not having it makes life more of a challenge than it needs to be. but, sometimes we just can't put a price-tag on life and how we live it. we are major believers in 'going in faith' with something like this...like a trust in the good of the world, not necessarily a religious doctrine.
if this is truly a path you and rio are destined to take, then the money will be there in one form or another. i think you already have the answer in your heart....send us a postcard!!!
charon & gayle
Life is good, so very, very good!!! Gayle enjoyed each and every moment of each and every wonderful day (naps included). She left this world December 12, 2011 – off on a new adventure.
Love Never Ends
I agree with Charon. You know how some people want to have a baby and they feel they don't have the money at the time and they get advice from their grandmother and the grandmother tells her that there may never be the perfect time to have a baby and if that is what your heart is telling you to do at the time then you should do it and you"ll figure out how to afford it? Well this is just about the same thing. I think you will figure out how to pay for it and then you won't have any regrets and you will have the wonderful memories that will last forever. 
This is a dilemma... I can totally see both sides...
Part of me wants to say, "Yes, live for TODAY. Go! Worry about paying it off later."
But, on the other hand, the oh-so-very practical accountant in me says, "Don't do it. Rio wouldn't want you to be in debt. And Rio won't know that you didn't go to the Grand Canyon. Rio just wants to spend time with you. She doesn't care where you go - just as long as you are all together." I know you want to do something BIG to mark this time - but ask yourself if it's really want Rio would want. (Does she like long car rides? Does she mind having her usual routine interrupted? etc.)
If you are going to go, I say plan out a budget. Figure out something reasonable for each day's food/hotel/gas and really try to stick to it. (sorry - that's the former accountant in me again...)
If the budget shows that it's going to be too far/too much money to go all the way to the Grand Canyon - what about just a really fabulous weekend away? Maybe find a close but nice doggy-friendly place to go and just spend all your time spoiling her.
I hate to be the party pooper - everyone else will probably tell you to go for it - but I just think credit card debt is such a major bummer and can take a long time to pay off.
What does your hubby think?
If you decide not to go - try to come up with other special things to do: a day at the shore, a special outing for all the dogs to Baskin Robbins. I don't know - just little things you know she would love that won't break the bank.
Whatever you decide - document it all. Take lots of pictures. Maybe keep a journal? Love her up every minute!!! Make sure YOU are in the pictures with her. (I am always the one operating the camera, so this week I made hubby take some pics of me and Abby.)
Whatever you decide, have no regrets!!
Sending hugs and Abby kisses while you make your decision.
Jackie
Abby: Aug 1, 2009 – Jan 10, 2012. Our beautiful rescue pup lived LARGE with osteosarcoma for 15 months – half her way-too-short life. I think our "halflistic" approach (mixing traditional meds + supplements) helped her thrive. (PM me for details. I'm happy to help.) She had lung mets for over a year. They took her from us in the end, but they cannot take her spirit! She will live forever in our hearts. She loved the beach and giving kisses and going to In-N-Out for a Flying Dutchman. Tripawds blog, and a more detailed blog here. Please also check out my novel, What the Dog Ate. Now also in paperback! Purchase it at Amazon via Tripawds and help support Tripawds!
Do you live in WA? The grand Canyon seems like a 2 day drive from Cali even though its only 8 hours. I took Roman there when he was younger and healthier. It was OK for dogs but nothing to rave about. The car ride there seems like it would be really ruff on Roman the way he is now. Maybe your pup is not as old or peppier........I don't know. Regardless of the $(i'm in a lot of CC debt myself) Just the trip seems like it would be more work than fun for you guys and the dog. Also the warm season is done there,it would be pretty cold. Don't know if your doggie has arthritis Roman gets super achy on cold days.This is just the stuff that I would consider. Good luck with whatever you decide. Maybe you can just take some time off work to spend with the doggy I wish I was home with Roman right now, I feel guilty 40 hrs a week......
Well, I don't know much about RV's, maybe Jerry can weigh in on this. I know gas is expensive, but maybe renting an RV and cooking your own meals would save money on hotel/restaurants. Just an idea. Whatever you decide to do, you'll be with Rio, and that's what's important.
While I think doing something special with your baby is definitely important, like Abby, I have to play devil's advocate and ask the big question:
If you spend the money now, will you have that money to spend later to give Rio more time if or when she needs the extra care?
It's a hard question, and as someone who is very poor herself (even WITH a job) I can understand wholeheartedly your situation. I know how important memories are too, and if you really feel in your heart that this is the right thing, then go, and have a blast doing it. I wish I could afford to get out there and live some dreams (my wish is to travel Route 66) but right now, feeding the pups and keeping a roof over my head are my priorities, and if it means my life has to be boring for awhile, so be it. Now, I'm not on a timescale like you are, so in that respect our situations are different. And who knows? Maybe your husband's business will take off and you won't have to worry anymore! Stay positive, but stay sane too. Whatever your decide, I hope your time with Rio is the best. On the road or at home on the couch. =)
Lots of hugs.
Proud mommy of a Belgian Malinois tripawd named Lizzie, who is completely spoiled rotten, loves kids, and will be going into therapy dog training as soon as I can afford it. You can find her blog here.
Also proud mommy to Vito, 3(?) yr old GSD. Adoption weight: 58lbs. Current weight: 90lbs. Goal weight: 85-90lbs (ACHIEVED!). Tested positive for EPI on March 30th, 2011 and stable ever since.
"Sometimes it takes an imperfection to create perfection."
Well Micki, your post sounds to me like you've already made up your mind. If so, then have fun!
If not, well...Jackie's an accountant and I'm an engineer, we're both numbers kind of people. But our family has gone through the job loss, everything hitting the fan, hit the savings, real estate market sucks, stuck in low gear, all that, too. So I'm with Jackie on this one, especially the part about what's your husband think? I dunno, I've really changed after the job loss...we're okay now, we're not in dire straits. But I'm satisfied with so much less now. This, right here, right now, is what's important to me. I guess I don't understand how you could have regrets when you've had such a wonderful life with the Woo, heck she's been battling this thing almost longer than Tate's been alive!
Okay, one last thing. I wouldn't be able to do it because when we got back, I'd feel like I was just sitting around waitiing for her to die.
Now. Having said all that, I wish I could be more like Charon and Angel. You know - adventurous! Spur-of-the-moment! It'll all work out! So if you do decide to go, send us a postcard too!
Jan & Tate
http://tate.tripawds.com/
August 16, 2006 to November 28, 2011
TATE ~ Forever in our hearts.
Oh Micki- crappy decisions to make. I'm a stick to the budget girl while JB is a we'll figure it out later guy - which means we have these dilemmas all the time ( which is weird because he's the accountant). We tend to compromise and cut corners where we can if it's a trip that we feel like we really need to do. I think you just need to go with your gut....if you truly feel like you'll regret not going, then go - life is too short for regrets. Just prepare a strict budget and really cut back from now until you go so you have even the littlest bit saved up. If you think you can pass up on the trip and have a bunch of special days instead without feeling regret, then def do that and have a blast! I'm sorry you're dealing with this....never easy! Lots of love and support from us! Xo Sue and Sammy
Thanks everybody for weighing in. I've been playing the devil's advocate game in my own head, but sometimes you just need to put it out there and get a fresh perspective.
My brain is telling me that, without some sort of serendipity, this Grand Canyon trip is just a pipe dream... And in reading through your replies, I've realized a few things:
1. I think the whole idea of the trip was just to take my mind off of the fact that I'm thinking a lot about "what's coming." It's an avoidance tactic. If we are on a grand adventure, then we're not inching our way closer to the inevitable.
2. It was also a way to avoid the rest of the sh*t that's been hitting the fan this year. If I'm not here, then my kitchen appliances aren't broken, my truck doesn't need repairs, my father-in-law isn't sick, my husband isn't out of work, etc....
3. It was a way for some of our family to say good-bye to her, because they probably won't get a chance to come up here anytime soon. But maybe that's more important to me than it is to them...
So, in realizing these things, I feel a little less like I HAVE to do this trip. As one of you pointed out, I don't think I was really doing it for Rio. And a 6000 mile trip is probably not really on her "bucket list," if given a choice. She'd rather go to Mora (our local ice cream shop) for one of their doggie-sized ice creams -- they give free cups of ice cream to doggie friends that come in with their owners. She'd probably rather go for a short buh-bye to the beach (although it's too cold for swimming this time of year). She'd probably like to go someplace for a burger (Abby, the closest In and Out Burger is in Redding). She'd probably like to go to the pet store and pick out a new squeaky toy to kill.
So maybe instead of planning a long distance road trip adventure to put my fears on the back burner and pretend that my problems have gone away, maybe I should be working on a bunch of little things that bring joy to my girl...
Thanks guys for the healthy dose of perspective that I needed.
|
~ ~ Rio ~ ~ |
Oh Micki. You really do have a lot of sh*t going on right now. If I was there, I'd give you a hug.
http://tate.tripawds.com/
August 16, 2006 to November 28, 2011
TATE ~ Forever in our hearts.
so, will you still send us a postcard??
charon & gayle
Life is good, so very, very good!!! Gayle enjoyed each and every moment of each and every wonderful day (naps included). She left this world December 12, 2011 – off on a new adventure.
Love Never Ends
It's totally understandable to want to get in the car and try to drive away from your troubles. I'm sure that's a dream/fantasy we've all had at one time or another.
If only we could outrun this fricking disease, I'd throw Abby in the car and be right behind you, carpooling into the future...
Hang in there. Love up your girl. Then give her some extra love from me and Abby.
Big hugs and sending Abby kisses.
Abby: Aug 1, 2009 – Jan 10, 2012. Our beautiful rescue pup lived LARGE with osteosarcoma for 15 months – half her way-too-short life. I think our "halflistic" approach (mixing traditional meds + supplements) helped her thrive. (PM me for details. I'm happy to help.) She had lung mets for over a year. They took her from us in the end, but they cannot take her spirit! She will live forever in our hearts. She loved the beach and giving kisses and going to In-N-Out for a Flying Dutchman. Tripawds blog, and a more detailed blog here. Please also check out my novel, What the Dog Ate. Now also in paperback! Purchase it at Amazon via Tripawds and help support Tripawds!
So probably because I am in this place....where I watched someone leave this earth unexpectedly today...this is what I think:
When Rio is gone, I would hate for you to be filled with...woulda...coulda and shoulda. Unfortunately we all have some of them while going through the mourning process. But I don't want you to have more than you can shoulder.
So....you decide.... Would Rio really enjoy the trip? Is it really what you both need? Is it really worth it? Will it cause or alleviate your stress?
Only you know those answers inside of you!!! Listen to both, your heart and your head. Write it down if it helps....
Hi Micki,
I'm really late here- and it sounds like you have decided what to do...maybe.
But for what it is worth..... my take would be that this is Rio's time, and whatever is the best thing for her is what you should do.
I know how hard this part of the journey is- but you have to ignore the ticking clock- embrace your girl, treasure each day, make every second count. The memories are built by being together- it doesn't really matter where you are.
Follow your heart, you know what is best for the Woo-pug.
Karen
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