Caring for a Three Legged Dog or Cat
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Rhis is a beautiful way to pay tribute to Neka. I know she is sooo proud!
How are you doing Stephanie. You and Neka are so important to us
Hugs
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Okay, I guess Neka mist be playing a joke on us! ,I just finished asking about you...hit submit...and your previous post just popped up. I guess you were "sensing" we were concerned about your well being.
This is still so hard...physically, emotionally, physiologically. I just hope you've had brief moments where you can remember the great ti es she wants you to remember...even if just for a moment.
Love you
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
benny55 said
Rhis is a beautiful way to pay tribute to Neka. I know she is sooo proud!How are you doing Stephanie. You and Neka are so important to us
Hugs
Sally and Alumni Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie
im trying to live and do things shed want and feel the way she made everyone else feel, but I feel Im failing her miserably as I feel like this monotone socially challenged person..... I thought I had a grip.. i was sorely mistaken... and when the emotions of her come into play. why is it that all the promises, unmet goals and other things you have held onto and put aside in life come out ten fold triggered by one emotional catastrophe ... only intensifying your emotional battle of chaos.....
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
benny55 said
Okay, I guess Neka mist be playing a joke on us! ,I just finished asking about you...hit submit...and your previous post just popped up. I guess you were "sensing" we were concerned about your well being.This is still so hard...physically, emotionally, physiologically. I just hope you've had brief moments where you can remember the great ti es she wants you to remember...even if just for a moment.
Love you
so crazy.....
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
Okay...Neka is definitely messing with us! I figured out "tbh" ear@ier......I just now figured out "idk"...I was working on "xyz" until I realized it mean exactly that..XYZ!!
Yes, nights are the toughest! I think everyone here will tell you that. And waking up with all those uncontrollable thoughs...and then the physicality that each emotion bri gs ro your chest, to the pit of your stomach...it is so awful. No though, you aren't crazy, or no crazier" than any of the rest of us here! Yoj do feel.like you are going crazy though.
The only thing I can offer...and it may not wrk for now...but it will at some point...force yourself to remember this is NOT what Neka would want you to relive! She would not want her happy times ro be ignored. And just try, for that one moment, to force a happy time to come to the forefront. Tell yourself you'll go back to reliving the negat details" in five minutes, but for now, nothing but happier memories.
We "crazys" are all here for you!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
benny55 said
Okay...Neka is definitely messing with us! I figured out "tbh" ear@ier......I just now figured out "idk"...I was working on "xyz" until I realized it mean exactly that..XYZ!!Yes, nights are the toughest! I think everyone here will tell you that. And waking up with all those uncontrollable thoughs...and then the physicality that each emotion bri gs ro your chest, to the pit of your stomach...it is so awful. No though, you aren't crazy, or no crazier" than any of the rest of us here! Yoj do feel.like you are going crazy though.
The only thing I can offer...and it may not wrk for now...but it will at some point...force yourself to remember this is NOT what Neka would want you to relive! She would not want her happy times ro be ignored. And just try, for that one moment, to force a happy time to come to the forefront. Tell yourself you'll go back to reliving the negat details" in five minutes, but for now, nothing but happier memories.
We "crazys" are all here for you!
im trying.... trying... hadnt felt or had this before....ive lots other furbabies in my life and each of course had their uniqueness and story, but when one passed you had the other to hold on to to hug to confide in, this is the first time in my life the "fur" is empty in my presence.... no distraction, not that it would necessarily take away from the loss, but just to hug and have that happy thought of one furbaby with another together to smooth over some of the emotion...
Idk if you knew at the begining of my original blog, I lost my cat, to a miss by an emergency vet literally 4 days before I found the mass on Nekas leg, Neka was asymptomatic at the time, my regular vet didnt believe what I felt, and I pushed for the xray (my anatomy background payed off), as I was in so much distress from the unnecessary miss by an emergency visit for my cat, I went in blazing for Neka, so in essence my cat, "onyx" saved Neka, and this "onyx" came to me in the last month of my childhood dog of 18yrs in her last days of renal failure... I just put all that together this week. She saved me twice.
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
You have NOT failed Neka, or yourself. You are in the throes of deep, deep grief and despair. You do go through it at your own pace..not anybody elses. And all.of us here can tell you it's a snail's pace. No dea friend, no way you could have a "grip" yet...oh maybe a moment here or there, but not a solid grip anytime soon.
You're going through the "motions" of trying to function somewhat "normally" You aren't a monotone socially challenged perso. (great description btw!), you are a shell right now though. Try not to be any expectations in yourself of how you "should" be able to feel. Must accept how you feel and don't try and fight it. Feel it and move through it without judgement.
"They" say that the loss of a beloved "pet" triggers exactly what you are talking about...we grieve for anything and everything we perceive we jave lost. Somehow they bring out every "loss" we have had and never allowed ourselves to fully feel the "loss". I'm not doing a very good job of explaining this at all. Jist tryi g to say that it's normal for this intense grief to bring up all these other things. Again, it's about feeling it, .moving through it and not judging yourself or being hard on yoirself.
You've probably written ten things by the time it took me to type typo!
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
benny55 said
You have NOT failed Neka, or yourself. You are in the throes of deep, deep grief and despair. You do go through it at your own pace..not anybody elses. And all.of us here can tell you it's a snail's pace. No dea friend, no way you could have a "grip" yet...oh maybe a moment here or there, but not a solid grip anytime soon.You're going through the "motions" of trying to function somewhat "normally" You aren't a monotone socially challenged perso. (great description btw!), you are a shell right now though. Try not to be any expectations in yourself of how you "should" be able to feel. Must accept how you feel and don't try and fight it. Feel it and move through it without judgement.
"They" say that the loss of a beloved "pet" triggers exactly what you are talking about...we grieve for anything and everything we perceive we jave lost. Somehow they bring out every "loss" we have had and never allowed ourselves to fully feel the "loss". I'm not doing a very good job of explaining this at all. Jist tryi g to say that it's normal for this intense grief to bring up all these other things. Again, it's about feeling it, .moving through it and not judging yourself or being hard on yoirself.
You've probably written ten things by the time it took me to type typo!
thanks sally, even though logic tells me its normal, it helps to have someone to say it.. thank you.. and I get what you were trying to explain...
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
Oh yes, I do remember the mention of Onyx!! A d the void of not having a furbaby by your side...the touch...the connection...someone to talk to...someone tl break the deafening silence. What a special Soul she was on so many levels.
Do you think you could be open to fostering a dog for a few weeks just to have the "touch", the "communication". .Maybe you could foster a dog who has a limited time at a "kill" shelter....or maybe a cat? You need a furbaby by your side right now on a temporary basis until a ho.e is found.
Anything resonate along those lines?
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Oh Steph, my heart breaks for you sadness and despair......I wish I could give you a hug right now. I have no great words of wisdom, just know that I feel your sorrow for the loss of your girl. I can't wait to see you in September at the Puppy up walk.
Paula
Nitro 11 1/2 yr old Doberman; right front amp June 2014. Had 6 doses carboplatin, followed by metronomic therapy. Rocked it on 3 legs for over 3 years! My Warrior beat cancer, but couldn't beat old age. He crossed the Bridge peacefully on July 25, 2017, with dignity and on his terms. Follow his blog entitled "Doberman's journey"
"Be good, mama loves you".....run free my beautiful Warrior
benny55 said
Oh yes, I do remember the mention of Onyx!! A d the void of not having a furbaby by your side...the touch...the connection...someone to talk to...someone tl break the deafening silence. What a special Soul she was on so many levels.Do you think you could be open to fostering a dog for a few weeks just to have the "touch", the "communication". .Maybe you could foster a dog who has a limited time at a "kill" shelter....or maybe a cat? You need a furbaby by your side right now on a temporary basis until a ho.e is found.
Anything resonate along those lines?
I would love to do that, but my living situation is complicated right now,( very long story) which is making it all the more stressfull. So im not sure if I can do that where Im at right now, on the other hand, I am on a 3yr plan to save $ for to get a piece of land,( for my horse kid) but I cant imagine going 3yrs without a furkid in my presence.... so im sure thats got my emotions going as well, do i give up my long term plan and be able to get help more furries in the long run, or idk... uug.... wow the mind is going...
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
dobemom said
Oh Steph, my heart breaks for you sadness and despair......I wish I could give you a hug right now. I have no great words of wisdom, just know that I feel your sorrow for the loss of your girl. I can't wait to see you in September at the Puppy up walk.Paula
thanks paula,
me too, Ill be there..
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
benny55 said
Oh yes, I do remember the mention of Onyx!! A d the void of not having a furbaby by your side...the touch...the connection...someone to talk to...someone tl break the deafening silence. What a special Soul she was on so many levels.Do you think you could be open to fostering a dog for a few weeks just to have the "touch", the "communication". .Maybe you could foster a dog who has a limited time at a "kill" shelter....or maybe a cat? You need a furbaby by your side right now on a temporary basis until a ho.e is found.
Anything resonate along those lines?
and lets face it, if I foster something the odds of it leaving are probably zero... especially if I find out its limited time, I cant knowingly give something back to die.. uuug......
still working on Nekas debt right now too, I attract the needy, and always feel they deserve it all, so it just has me stuck... very stuck.. stuck in silence and fur-lonely....lol...ok thats not funny, but it came out with my typing....
Angel Neka
7/4/2003-4/5/2016
2.5yr 3x cancer warrior survivor
Okay, your keyboard has a mind of it's own.and a bit of sense of humor.
Okay...gon a talk in "Universe li go" for a second. Put the "intention" out there to the Universe Put out the fact that you NEED a furbaby in your life! @et go of all the details...all the "yeah buts...or "as soon as"...etc. The Universe will take care of the details! Really! Think about how many times youve "envisioned" something snd it came to pass.
Oh, and I KNOW you would bea failed foster! But I agree, you mist have a furbaby and thst cannot wait three years
Okay, we're gonna have to elicit the great minds and energy of the Tripawd Universe to work on this solution!! And when the great minds of the community come together with the Universe with a plan..watch out! It'll be doable, that's for sure!!
How bout jist surfing through Adopt A Pet...or Big Dogs Big Paws and see what pops up. It maybe that Neka is planning on sending you a little dog...and she sure isn't gping to wait three years to do it!
One more thing.....when your thoughts get so seemingly unbearable, don't hesitate to call the Helpline. Jist being able to sort of "purge" those thoughts helps give you a reprieve, even if just for a few minutes.
Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!
Would it help you to share with all of us a special story about Neka? Something from before her diagnosis, some silly happy thing? Grief is really hard, and for people like all of us, the grief is just as real for the loss of our dogs.
Otis - 106 pound lab/Dane mix, lost his right front leg to osteosarcoma on Febuary 9, 2016. Four rounds of carboplatin completed in April, 2016. Lung mets August 25, 2016. Said goodbye too soon on September 4, 2016. Lost his adopted sister, Tess, suddenly on October 9, 2016. likely due to hemangiosarcoma.
Wherever they are, they are together.
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