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Tex 08/08/2009 - 04/22/2017 - The Best Dog He Could Be | Coping with Loss

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Tex 08/08/2009 - 04/22/2017 - The Best Dog He Could Be
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Raleigh, NC
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22 April 2017 - 8:59 am
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We lost Tex this morning to hemangiosarcoma.  Months of illness that we could not pinpoint finally came crashing down last night.  The sick twist of fate is that we probably had more months with him because I've been giving him Turkey Tail as soon as they said OSA but it also delayed the diagnosis.

He had multiple tumors.  One large mass on his right wrist that was misdiagnosed as an infection.  He also had a bleeding tumor.  Not sure if it was spleen or elsewhere. 

The bleeds have been happening since at least January.  We now understand why he had anemia from time to time and all the other odd issues that didn't make any sense.  He had an army of specialists trying to sort it out but it wasn't until he was bleeding out that the vets were able to put the pieces together and match up what seemed like unrelated symptoms.

Quite simply, we are broken.

Schofield, WI
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22 April 2017 - 9:39 am
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Oh NO I'm so so sorry.  I saw Tex had been having problems just a short while ago and had hoped he was getting better.  I know there are no words to help you at this hardest time.  Tex was so lucky to have found his furever home with you.  You understood that beautiful boy on a soul to soul level and he thrived under your careful watch.  Sending you love and healing hugs as we mourn with you.  Fly free new Angel you have many Angel friends waiting to greet you!

Linda & Spirit Mighty Max

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22 April 2017 - 9:40 am
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Ingrid, I am so sorry to hear this. He did not have enough time with you.

You know, I have been thinking of him frequently ever since you posted last February when his problems were starting and thought about what a lucky guy he was to have found you. I can only imagine how much his life improved when he found a family that truly got his personality and met him on his level. Fully understanding him is the greatest gift that you gave him - his Saturday morning coffees, his anxiety. There are few people who can figure out a dog like Tex and meet him where he was. 

Virginia
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22 April 2017 - 9:48 am
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Ohhhh Ingrid!!!!!! Not expecting this at all!! You crossed my thoughts a couple of times yesterday and I was wondering how Tex was doi g a dnd thinking you woukd be giving us an update...but not this!! Not this!!

I am soooo devastated for you, a d with you my dear friend. Our hearts break with yiurs today and we cry with you.

We all want soooo badly to help make this hurt to stop, to make this horrible hurt go away...and we know we can't...you know we can't. You've had to go through this too much...too often. The only thing you do know is, that with time, the grief will fade more and more into the background, but right now, that seems impossible. Right now you hurt too much to think it will ever go away.

Right now you will play over and over in your head his transition and everything leading up to it. We all focus on those last days or hours over and over as though it were a ritual we have to go through to eventually .ove onto the thousands of happier memories. The memories that matter. The days and hours that matter. The memories that showed you why Nixon sent you Tex. Yes, those are the memories that matter.

NO ONE, NO ONE COULD EVER HAVE DONE MORE FOR TEX THAN YOU AND RICH!!! You left no stone unturned when it came to his medical issues. No one could have pursued answers with more determination AND more knowlege than you. I really don't think anyone understands every nuance (emotionally, physically and spiritually) of Greys...of any dog...as well as you.

Ingrid, as we follow Tex's journey with you from day one, we all cheered knowy that this sweet boy with...er..."issues"....could not have found a better home!!! The bond you developed, the depth of connection and understanding you have of who he is and what he needs is truly magical. This kind of "Soul connection" comes from the enlightenment and wisdom of a Sage.....really...it does!

NO ONE COULD EVER have given Tex the opportunity to be sooooo loved and soooo cared for and the chance to experience joy and hsppiness. You let Tex be the dog he was always born to be!! You let his Soul shine through!!! No one could do that for him, which, of course, is why Nixon sent Tex to you!

You never shied away from a challenge when it comes to bringing dogs into your home that others turned away from and discounted. Just as you bri g out the light and joy in their Souls, they do the same for you! They let you be the Soul you were born to be too! Tex, and all your beloved dogs, chose you a d Rich to be their teachers, and they gave you an opportunity to be their student as well.

Through all the gut wrenching sadness today, and the days to come, I hope you can find some solace in knowing you gave Tex the wonderful life he never could have had until you stepped into his heart.....and he into yours.

We are all surrounding you with our love and the strength to get through this sad time. Nixon and Tex are together showing all the dogs how to do Greyhound Roaches up on the Bridge! They are always watching over you, but you already know that.

From my heart

Sally and My Chunky Spiritual Being Happy Hannah and Merry Myrtle and Frankie

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

The Rainbow Bridge

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22 April 2017 - 4:04 pm
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Ingrid, our hearts are crushed and we feel so bad for your pack, we are so sorry. Nobody should ever have to deal with cancer in the first place, but as often as you guys have, well I can't even imagine. All I can say is that with that knowledge you acquired through the battles, you were able to give Tex a good quality of life for much longer than he would have otherwise. Nobody else could advocate for him the way you did, right up to his last breath. He died knowing that he was loved and cherished. What a gift you gave this sweet boy.

With all our heart, we send lots of love and condolences your way. If you want to talk, please, remember we are for you OK? 

((((hugs)))))

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
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Los Angeles, CA
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23 April 2017 - 2:27 pm
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I'm so sorry to hear about Tex and you loss to that awful cancer. And too many losses for you ... too many!!! I'm just speechless but know that I am sending you love and hugs and we are here for you. Run free, sweet Tex!!! You are so loved! 

XO

alison with spirit shelby in her heart 

Shelby Lynne; Jack Russell/Shiba Inu mix. Proud member of the April Angels of 2014.

October 15, 2000 to April 8, 2014

Our story: Broke rear leg in June 2013 - non-conclusive results for cancer so leg was plated and pinned. Enlarged spleen in September 2013 and had it removed and was diagnosed with Hemangiosarcoma and started chemotherapy. Became a Tripawd January 8th, 2014 and definitive Hemangiosarcoma diagnosis. Three major surgeries in 7 months and Shelby took them all like a champ only to lose her battle to cancer in her brain. We had 8 amazing extra months together and no regrets. #shelbystrong #loveofmylife

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23 April 2017 - 6:23 pm
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I am so sorry to hear about Tex's passing.  This is a shock.  I can't believe it.  Thinking of you

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Michelle & Angel Sassy

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Sassy is a proud member of the Winter Warriors. Live long, & strong Winter Warriors.
sassysugarbear.tripawds.com
07/26/2006 - Sassy earned her wings 08/20/2013

"You aren't doing it TO her, you are doing it FOR her. Give her a chance at life."

Michigan
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23 April 2017 - 9:24 pm
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Oh Ingrid, I am so very sorry crying  Tex was so very lucky to have found you.

heartDonna

Donna, Glenn & Murphy  http://murphyh......pawds.com/

Murphy had his right front leg amputated due to histiocytic sarcoma at 7 years old.  He survived 4 years, 2 months & 1 week, only to be taken by hemangiosarcoma at 11 1/2 years 6/12/17  

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Norene, TN
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24 April 2017 - 11:04 am
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So very sorry to read this. Holding your pack close to my heart.

heart

Harmony became a Tripawd on 10/21/14 (MCT). She left us way too soon on 11/1/14.

"We miss you so much; our love, our heart, our Harmony."

- Pam, Ron and Melody, Meesha and DoubleStuff

London, UK
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24 April 2017 - 12:36 pm
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I am so terribly sorry to hear about the loss of your sweet boy. Sending love and strength and my heartfelt sympathy.

Meg, Clare and Elsie Pie xxx

Meg, Mutt, aged around 9, adopted 31/12/2009. Sudden explosive right elbow fracture 06/12 (caused by IOHC), diagnosed with End Stage Arthritis 03/15, Total Elbow Replacement 08/15, problems with healing leading to skin graft & skin flap surgery, Chronic Infection leading to implant breakdown. Became a Tripawd 9th March 2016. 
Lives with Elsie Pie, & Mum, Clare, watched over by Angel Billie
My life as a MEG-A-STAR 


Raleigh, NC
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24 April 2017 - 7:23 pm
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Thank you everyone.  You have no idea how much this means to know we're not alone through this.  Its just been a very draining four months.  It is hard to not second guess decisions that were made or not made.  With Nixon, I learned to demand xrays earlier.  Now, I have learned to get fine needle aspirations done too.  I need to find an oncologist that I can work with who understands that studying cancer has become an unfortunate hobby for me.  I didn't just read something on the internet, I'm reading published studies.  The ER vet understood exactly where we are coming from.  She was a little startled when she didn't have to explain the test results to us - I just blurted out HSA - and she nodded and said yes.  She then went over treatment options which only had one humane option.  She told us it wouldn't be wrong for us to put him through surgery but I think she already knew what kind of people we are and how much we love our animals. 

In July, Tex started to experience enough pain in his right wrist that he vocalized, growled, and sometimes snapped if it was moved.  By January, he had lost a lot of mobility in it.  Xrays showed no signs of arthritis or any reason for the loss of mobility.  This was diagnosed as polyarthritis and one of the reasons that a tick-bourne illness was suspected.  He was 3 legged lame off and on until April.  Since the first week of April, he stopped using the leg, even for balance.  He just held it tight to his body.  In March, a tumor did start growing but it didn't look like a tumor until this past Friday in xrays but it had started to impact the ulna.   The tumor was right behind the carpal ball on his leg and was invisible on Xrays.  You could see swelling but no cause.  But I know, even if I had taken him back to the oncologist then for another FNA, the outcome was still going to be the same.   Maybe a few months longer with a higher dose of turkey tail?

We don't know if the abdominal tumor was his spleen (1 out of 2 chance it was) or his liver.  Other organs get impacted too but spleen is the most common.  A lot of these tumors don't even show up on xrays.

Cookie knew Tex wasn't well and had started to ignore him the last few days.  She just gave him his space.  Tex was a companion but she didn't care for him the way she did Nixon yet I've caught her laying with Tex's collar today a few times.  We didn't take his collar off until after he passed so I'm sure she can smell the difference on it.  She wasn't there to say good bye because we weren't expecting this to be a one way trip.  She has asked for a lot of attention today and even though it has been raining non-stop, we went for a mile walk in the rain.  I now own a raincoat from tractor supply.

It is so hard to not go over the past 6 months in my head but I'm trying to let it go.   We did make the best decisions we could with the information we had.  The tears keep coming too.  I miss his big head cuddled up next to me and his teeth.  I'll have to post more pictures later of his big nose and teeth.  I've never had a dog be so gentle when I would give him his pills.  I'd coat them in cream cheese or peanut butter and he'd have my fingers in his mouth as he gently scraped my fingers clean with his teeth.  Such a huge boy but actually so gentle.  I wish you all could have met him next month at the picnic.  He was such a giant of a hound but really a gentle soul who worried a lot.

The Rainbow Bridge

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24 April 2017 - 9:04 pm
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Of course you are not alone Ingrid. We are all so sad and hope that your days get easier in time.

I'm sad too that we didn't get to meet Tex. What a lovebug. I imagine this gentle soul will leave you signs that he no longer worries now that he transcended his physical form. There is no more worry or pain for him, he is your happy angel dog forever, surrounding you with his love and wisdom for all time.

You have the education nobody ever wants, when it comes to cancer. You did all you could with your knowledge to help him thrive and that's all any human can do. Tex knew how much you advocated for him up until the end. What a gift.

It's better to hop on three legs than to limp on four.™
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Virginia
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24 April 2017 - 9:31 pm
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A reminder from Tex for you...for all of usheart

Screenshot_2017-04-24-23-17-03_zpssx6uhrno.pngImage Enlarger

Happy Hannah had a glorious additional bonus time of over one yr & two months after amp for osteo! She made me laugh everyday! Joined April's Angels after send off meal of steak, ice cream, M&Ms & deer poop!

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29 April 2017 - 7:56 am
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Thank you.  The one regret I have in all of this is that I never had a professional photographer get pictures of Tex in the 22 months we had him.  I contacted our pet photographer but never scheduled the appointment.   I have only a handful that are really good and the rest are crappy cell phone camera pictures.  The only dog I did more of a disservice to picture wise as an adult is Toughie who I mostly photographed from behind.  Lots of butt pictures but none of his face.

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