I've thought a lot about all your responses and I appreciate them very much. I have decided there are no easy answers. (And Beth and Jay: Long posts? Ha! This is a long post!)

I did almost laugh, Jerry, when you said you aren't sure that Evelyn is doggie daycare material. You've met her. It's ok; it won't hurt my feelings. You can say it. Evelyn is the canine equivalent of a freight train in a nitroglycerin factory. It's entirely possible that the train will stay on the tracks and not derail and nothing will blow up. Maybe.

Evelyn is acting a little less lost and a lot more pissed. Literally. She has used urine as a passive-aggressive reaction to disappointment her entire life, and she's amped it up. She had never slept with us in our bed, though she wanted to. She and Dakota slept on adjoining beds on the floor by our bed and they often oozed onto one or the other's bed during the night. It was not uncommon to find them on the same bed in the morning. That is a big change for her and she is very angry, I think. 

Evelyn has slept in our bed a few nights since Dakota died. I find it almost intolerable. She snores like a bulldog and is incredibly dense and therefore impossible to shove and adjust during the night. It's like sleeping next to a pile of concrete blocks that eventually take over your spot as you sleep. It sounds amusing, I'm sure, until you experience it. 

Night before last I couldn't take it anymore and pushed Evelyn off the bed onto her own bed, right next to me. Granted, it's lower than sleeping next to me in the bed but it's next to me. She attempted to jump back up a few times and I told her no. Then I heard her stomping around noisily on the bed and I knew what was coming. I just knew it. She took off like a bullet across the room and I smelled the urine. Last night, I didn't let her on the bed at all. Same thing. Stomping around, take off elsewhere, foul odor. 

I've been working with her all day today, reacquainting her with her crate. I'm rewarding her heavily for going into it and laying down, and she's cooperating nicely. She likes her crate, but she hasn't slept in it in years. I see no alternative but for her to sleep there now. I cannot have a dog peeing out of anger every night in my room. Her bedding has a waterproof barrier just for this, but I can't do it. It's not right and it's not healthy. 

So try as I might not to anthropomorphize Evelyn, I see no alternative but to believe she's angry and confused and acting like a toddler. In fact, I think that's exactly what she's doing. When a 2-year-old's mother goes to the store and never comes home, that child will act very much the same. So I guess time will mend this, but it's difficult in the moment.

Another dog isn't really possible right now, even if we thought it was a good time. We downsized our lifestyle significantly a year ago, and part of that including becoming renters instead of homeowners. Since we want to keep our location options open, it made sense. But renting with 2 dogs is not the easiest situation. One dog is doable. So for practical reasons, at least right now we're at one dog.

Shari

I've been looking into the Comfort Zone/Adaptil products. Both are available here. Any idea which would be better to try, the collar or the wall plug in? I'm inclined to try the collar because not all of Evelyn's issues are confined to bedtime. I hate to say it, but after I wrote the earlier post she peed on her bed in the living room. I wish fixing that could be as simple as something like this product, but that truly seems too good to be true.

Shari