Dear Annie, I'm crying for you ...I'm so sorry it was so sudden and hard for you both. Butch now joins all the former Tripawds and is running those heavenly fields on all fours again. I totally believe that.  Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Diane

Dear Annie,

 I was so sorry to hear that your dear, "Butch" had to go to the Rainbow Bridge.  I know that you are crying so much and hurting so badly.  This is only normal, though, for the kind of love that you had for Butch.  When I read your account of the beginning of his seizures, I thought about my "Luna" who had a seizure on her way to have an MRI at the University of Florida.  You had said about his first seizure during an earlier post:

 "Butch had a seizure this morning, it was very frightening.  I was taking him for his morning walk around the garden, he was slow and seemed unwilling to go too far.  He suddenly stopped and started hopping in a circle I ran up to him thinking it was a marsh fly which the dogs all hate but he was twitching by that stage so I knew something else was wrong. He threw himself on the ground and had full seizure frothing at the mouth it lasted over 5 minutes.  I thought he’d had a brain anurism.  It was 6.30am and I think I screamed the whole neighbourhood down trying to get some help, my neighbours finally came and then my brother.  Butch came out the seizure dazed but recognised us all and now as I type an hour later he’s in a good mood and just ate 5 veal meatballs.  I rang the vet and they think he’s probably got a brain tumor as well.  Butch is sliding so fast I feel like he’s in a freefall, I can’t believe how aggressive the cancer can be. Now we don’t dare to leave his side in case he has another seizure."

After I read that, I realized that other dogs are also having these types of seizures as well. 

Then I read your most recent post about the seizures and how you lost Butch.  I am so sorry that you had to witness these seizures, which must have been so disturbing; it must have been very traumatic and painful for you.  You did everything you could to help Butch, and he is now in a peaceful place, with no seizures, only happiness and freedom.  You were such a good "pawrent", too.  Seeing your precious pet in this condition must have been awful. 

Please know, that by reading your description of what you saw, I realized that I made the right decision to have Luna put to sleep after her initial seizure at the University of Florida Veterinary Medical Center Small Animal Hospital in Gainesville.  I specifically asked the vet on the telephone to describe Luna's seizure while at the hospital; as horrible as it was, I wanted to try to visualize it, so I would know what was going on and what I might need to do.  When he told me that she was foaming at the mouth and biting herself, that was enough for me.  I could not stand the thought of her being in that condition, and the decision was one that I knew I had to make, as painful as it was.  I realized that if we had tried to revive her, or took her back home (a two and a half hour drive), she might have one or more seizures during that time, and would have gone through all of that again, not to mention the trauma of our trying to deal with it, possibly on the road, etc.  It was bad enough just hearing the vet describe the seizure, let alone witnessing it like you did, so, please know, that your sharing this information on this web site, has helped me to deal with what I did. 

Even though I knew that I did the right thing, I felt a lot of guilt about putting Luna to sleep.  By knowing the full extent of what these seizures can be like, to what degree they can manifest, thanks to your description, I realized that I spared Luna, and Dave, my partner, and myself, even more heartbreak and pain.  I am so sorry that you had to have that experience with Butch, but please know that you and Butch helped Luna and me. 

Butch is now all right, and happy again.  And, even though you have those visual memories of the seizures, I believe that, in time, those memories will be replaced with the many beautiful times that you had together.   

Please accept my condolences on the loss of your wonderful, "Butch".

Sincerely,

Sandra Thomas & "Angel Luna"