It's Wookie's birthday today, he would have been 3 yrs old. He's been gone for almost 6 mos, but at times the pain is still almost unbearable. I ask myself, when will I get to the place where I will be able to celebrate the life that was, rather than mourn the life that is gone? I don't know the answer. 

I still cry for him every day. Sometimes it is first thing in the morning, sometimes it's not until late at night. I know he doesn't want me to be sad, but I seem to have no control over it.

We didn't really have any special plans for today. We took the 3 boys to the dog park (Spock, Bones, and our newest adoptee, Rocco), but it was warm and they weren't feeling very playful. So we went to visit Wookie's tree (in a memorial tree park very close to the dog park). Wookie's tree (an oak), has definitely grown and sprouted it's spring leaves. At that point, I noticed that Rocco was getting a sunburn (he has lost almost all the hair on the back half of his body, probably due to untreated flea allergies), so I didn't want to stay any longer. And, to be honest, I didn't feel like Wookie was "there". 

And speaking of Rocco... he has so many Wookie mannerisms. Just the way he looks at you is so Wookie. We have 4 different couches that he's welcome to be on, but he sleeps in the exact same spot that Wookie did. When we were driving to the dog park today, Rocco sat behind me with his head resting on my shoulder most of the way. We've only had this dog for 5 days! I like to think that a little part (or a big part) of Wookie has come back to me. How can that be? Rocco is almost 6 yrs old! But that's the way it feels. Maybe Wookie sent Rocco our way to ease my pain. That would be such a Wookie thing to do. 

Anyway, I don't think I have anything wise or insightful to share. I just miss my boy so very much.

Happy Birthday, Wookie.