I had to let Zoe go yesterday, after a long hard battle.  I apologize in advance for rambling, I don't think I'm of sound mind right now. 

I wanted this to be a tribute and celebration of her life because I think that's how she would have wanted it.

Our story began when I came home to visit my family on Memorial Day weekend in 2001.  My sister had found Zoe earlier that week, walking down the middle of a busy road.  The car ahead of her almost hit Zoe, my sister opened the door to check to see if she was okay and Zoe jumped in her car.  My sister took Zoe to my parents house (a.k.a the animal sanctuary) so she could find Zoe's owner.  I loved Zoe from the moment I first saw her and as soon as I got back home I started asking my ex-husband "can we keep her? can we keep her?" No one claimed her, so I got my Zoebear.

Zoe was a handful, she was a mischievous, free spirit.  She was an escape artist, climbing barbed wire fences, getting out of her crate, opening doors in the house setting off the security system , breaking through the invisible fence etc etc. My Dad nicknamed her "The Hunter" because she was always trying to drag something in, squirrels, birds, rabbits, opossum.  She was a force to be reckoned with.  She was definitely an alpha dog and even hiked her leg sometimes to pee.  Really her only fault was she didn't get along well with other animals, I'm not sure if it was because she was so strong willed or if she didn't realize she was a dog.  Luckily for the most part she mellowed with age but she still had her moments. 

People on the other hand were a different story, she never met a stranger and she truly believed that when people came over they were there to see her and when we went on walks everyone in the world was suppose to acknowledge her and she demanded it.  She was great with kids,  She was like the petting zoo animal in the neighborhood and at the park.  She tolerated every Halloween costume and outfit my nieces and I put her in(although she drew the line with hats and shoes).  She loved all people but I was fortunate to be one she chose to be her main person.  She loved my ex-husband and my parents but at the end of the day I was the one that she clung too, for that I was truly blessed. 

I'm sure I am a little biased but she was one of the smartest dogs I have every known.  My Mom swears she understood every word you said and sometimes I kind of thought it was true.  She could communicate and tell you exactly what she wanted as well. She never really misbehaved but she knew when she had gone too far just by getting "the look".  She always understood when you didn't have time or were too tired to do what she wanted.  She was always up for walks but would settle for just snuggling on the couch.  She never chewed up anything other than her toys or had accidents in the house.  Even her last few days when she was so weak she could barely stand she made it to the door, I would help her outside and she would do her business hop a few steps and lay down and I would carry her back inside. 

Some of my happiest memories are when just the two of us would hike thru the woods.  We spent endless hours checking out the park system when we lived in Ohio.  She loved going to the lake, Grandma's house and going to pick my nieces up from school. It always amazed me how when she was in the car she would start to get excited when she was getting close by these places.   She loved to be outdoors as long as someone was with her, otherwise she was just a big lap dog, couch potato. 

I can't explain to most people the bond that we shared, although I think people on here get it.  She was with me the better part of my adult life, she was my constant through good and bad times.  She was always there for me.  She was my rock and my soft place to land at the end of a bad day.  She brought me comfort and peace of mind when she was near me.  It probably isn't healthy or normal but there were many times when I would be out with friends or on a date and I would think I would much rather be home with Zoe.  I would go on awesome tropical vacations and I couldn't wait to get home to see her.  I'm not sure whose separation anxiety was worse, mine or hers.

I knew the day would come.  I have spent the past month or so coming to terms with it.  The chemo wasn't working, new tumors had popped up.  She began to slow down and for the past couple weeks she got finicky with her food, that is when I knew.  Zoe is mostly lab so food was her true love in life.  We spent the last couple of weeks at my parents house because that was one her happy places.  That is where we got our start so I felt like we had gone full circle.  She fought hard, she made it to her 6 month ampuversary +9 days.  I was so proud of her but I knew she was getting tired of fighting.  It was hard but I knew I was doing the right thing by letting her go.  She could barely move when I took her to the vet, but when it came time to say goodbye she lifted her head up and nuzzled me like she was trying to comfort me and let me know it was okay. 

I am just devastated right now, my heart is broken but if I had to do it all again I would.  I thank God for every day she was in my life. 

I love you my sweet girl.