holding your paws and hands

Kim - I'm at a loss for words...I am sooooooooooooooo sorry. I agree with Jerry and your friend...and Buster - he obviously didn't want to be poked and prodded anymore either. When we lost Meggie (our family golden when I was in college), she told us she had enough by growling and snapping at the doctor - which gave us the message loud and clear that she was done with the doctors. It wasn't cancer - but does it really matter what it is?

I would be doing the same exact thing as you - everything else on hold...only Buster matters right now. It's so unfair that they live such a short time, but what gifts they give us in the time that they are here. I know you will make sure he is not in any pain...that he goes off to meet Jerry and Star and Genie and Lalla and all the others in peace. This is the hard part for you...for all of us...but we owe it to them and I know you know that. Be strong for him and cherish each moment...there will be time for tears and grief and you don't want him to see that - it will make it harder for him. They feel so much of what we go through.

We love you and are here for you...all the puppy prayers and hugs we can muster sending your way.

email me if you need to talk

hkourcklas@comcast.net

I wish you peace more than anything right now.

Heather and Zeus

Hi Kim & Buster,

I was going to recommend the paw print in clay, too, that Zeus mentioned and didn't realize they had the kits at craft stores, like Michael's. Obviously, all the pictures you take of Buster will be a great help later on.  You truly do have a very good eye for what it takes to make a great picture, Kim. 

Does anyone know why I keep reading that some dogs just want to go outside and stay there when the weather is really, really cold?  I keep hearing about dogs doing this and I don't understand it.

I got your email Kim and have responded.  I feel so terrible for you and if I can be of any help, just let me know. OK?

Vicki & the kids

I wasn't able to arrange the vet to come to my place.  Genie's condition had been deteriorating so drastically over a weekend, that I could not wait to bring her to the vet to end her suffering.  It turned out to be quite alright surprisingly.  It was the holistic vet who we had been seeing since she had become a tripawd.  The vet hosp had a cozy comfy lounge for patients getting acupuncture/chiropractic/massage treatments.  We placed Genie with a comforter on the grassy lawn outside of the hosp, she was relaxed.  We sedated her under sunny blue sky, and later on carried her into the lounge.  While the vet tech was shaving her leg in preparation for setting up the catheter, I gathered the little clump of fur.  The vet tech later gave me an envelope to put the fur in, that is the only little fur I have kept.  It was then a process which I don't want to relive them in words for now, though it was peaceful I must say.  I did not mind being at the hosp as long as where it took place was not on a cold, metal treatment table.  Personally, I think had the vet been able to come to my house, there would have been one more place in the house to remind me of the sad last moment, which to me is still a very sensitive emotional zone.

The hosp gives out a very pawsonalized memento.   They pressed her paw onto a piece of craft dough, and also pressed her name on it.  That was quite cool, I thought.  Her hairs are all over in the house, on my tops, pants, jackets.  Once I was so obsessed trying to get them off with lint removing roller, I am now wearing them proudly.  You don't need to collect them purposely, they are there always! 

I totally understand the sense of powerlessness, hopelessness, especially when you go through the list that you have done almost everything you possibly could.  I was humbled when it happened to me. 

Kim, don't worry about what might happen, don't even try to plan too much.  Things will come naturally, sometimes even unexpectedly, all the planning would go down the drain.  Stay in the moment, though I think it is easier said than done.  To be honest, I couldn't. You had been up all night, and that is not good.  You need to be strong physically and mentally.  Remember that Buster can feel it.

Hugs.

We are hoping and praying that you and Buster are feeling better today and can enjoy one another in a way that only the two of you can.  The prayer that you asked all of us to say is beautiful and is printed out and will be said for you and Buster often.  Please know Kim that our prayers and thoughts are certainly with you and Buster right now.  We are praying for emotional strength for you to be able to "be in the moment" as Genie was saying (although it is so challenging).  We are praying for peace in your heart... knowing that you have always done and continue to do what is extremely loving for Buster and our prayers are for Buster as well... although our fur babies don't really seem to need the prayers as much as us humans of course.  They seem to be in tune with Spirit and seem to have this wisdom and strength by just being.  We wish we could take your pain away and replace it with all of the love, kindness and warm hugs that all of us wish we could give you in person but just know that it is being sent your way during this very difficult time.