Hi Everyone,

As many of you know, we are finally losing this battle to osteosarcoma and we are nearing the end of our journey. As I type this, I’m fighting my tears as I'm so sad and devastated by this recent turn in events.  Last week, the doctors found a soft tissue mass in her rear leg, fluid in her lungs - the cancer is basically taking over now.  I'm so torn up about this and my heart is just breaking into pieces.  She's been on the decline for these last few days and I really thought we'd be able to have more time than this.  The worst part about this is that she's alert and responsive but her body is shutting down now.  She has lost a lot of mobility in her rear legs (we now have to help her up and down - thank god for the Ruff Harness), she's losing her appetite (she hardly ate anything today) and she's starting to have labored breathing due to the fluid in her lungs.  The irony of all of this is that Mackenzie continues to surprise me in the most unexpected ways.  So for example, yesterday I had a couple of friends come over to see her and when she saw them, she went barreling down the lawn to greet them.  Her rear legs were giving out on her but she was strong enough to make it down this hill with her tail wagging. 

So today, after much contemplation and painful assessment, I called my regular vet and told her about Mackenzie's symptoms (she’s known Mackenzie since she was a puppy.)   She agreed that it's Mackenzie's time.  We decided to do this tomorrow at my house so Mackenzie can be comfortable. Soon after, I called one of Mackenzie's favorite people – her pet sitter.  She came over and Mackenzie surprised me again by getting up on her own and walking over to greet her.  We all spent some time together and Mackenzie was very alert and responsive.  She even finally ate a little something after not eating all day.  This gave me a sense of hope that maybe tomorrow isn’t her time afterall.  In the meantime, I had a call into her oncologist to talk about this and she called me back. Basically told me that because Mackenzie is the kind of dog she is, people person, friendly, pleasing, etc., that she will always show these good moments but it doesn’t mean that she’s feeling better. We’ve basically exhausted everything and it would concern her if we were to prolong this for more than a few days.  She really gave me a clear picture on what Mackenzie’s condition would be and how debilitated she would become if I were to prolong this.  A day, couple of days would probably be ok.   So my husband and I talked and we will be making our final decision in the morning.  As my sister said to me, if you need a day to wrap your head around this than take it.  But just know you’re doing the best, most loving thing you can for her.

 I was writing to get feedback on what I should do….but I think I  know my answer.  I’m not sure it’s tomorrow but I definitely know it’s within these next couple of days.  The most painful part about this is that Mackenzie is still so alert and responsive.  But my ocean girl will finally be set free (but why does that not feel so good right now?)  I’m just so torn up about this.  Thank you everyone for all of your support.  And thank you Rene for sharing your story with me about Jerry.

Kami (Mackenzie’s Mom)